Chapter Text
Tavros took a moment to lean all his weight on the doorknob with his hand at the ready. Not yet. He couldn’t just stumble into his apartment with his chest heaving and empty of breath. Below, his aching leg muscles shook from their mistreatment, from being pushed far past their ability.
A stray bead of sweat down his temple brought Tavros back into the moment. His mind kept wandering off like a dog on a rubber leash, pulled back with a painful snap once it strayed too far. It was tied to just one single thought.
A thought that held fast onto the mass of his mind as he finally turned the knob to tumble inside. A thought that pulsed like a throbbing tumor, ever growing as he had to hold his breath to keep from wheezing. A single thought that pounded like a drum, demanding to be heard when he closed the bathroom door behind him and looked down at the plastic bag in his hands.
As complicated as the thought was, it boiled down to one simple word.
Fuck.
Tears joined the sweat soaking his face. He could control neither. It was an odd sensation, to cry without conscious effort. But much bigger things occupied his mind. Things that demanded nothing short of his full attention.
He fumbled with the box and dropped it three times before successfully opening it to new opportunities of failure. It took almost 20 minutes too long to accomplish something that took five. He hovered over the little device on the counter, wringing his hands as if his very life rested on a bundle of plastic.
Color formed on the indicator’s surface and a sick feeling punched Tavros in the gut. He wheezed just to make sure he still knew how to breathe. His limbs felt weak, as if someone had just drained them dry. He stumbled, hands flailing blindly to catch himself on the wall as he slumped down on the edge of the bathtub.
Pulling his shaking hands to his face, he began to sob.