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Q-taro was used to Kurumada saying things more or less stupid depending on how tired he was during their daily workout.
What he was not used to, however, was Kurumada being smitten. The man would talk about beating the shit out of people, not kissing them. In fact, he'd even get pissed if Q-taro spoke for too long at how delicious the new dish Kai had prepared was, and the redhead would tease him for being jealous, to which Kurumada had never really clearly answered.
So the first time he even mentions seeing someone, Q-taro takes it as a joke. “Who are ya and what didja do to the heartless bastard who I used to workout with ?” he even exclaims between to tractions, laughing.
He quickly stops when Kurumada's face darkens, and he asks one of the most surprising questions he had ever heard : “Do I really look that heartless ?”
“Na—of course nawt. I’m just surprised.” Then, trying to patch up his mistake, “Ya never talk about this kinda stuff.”
“I guess so.” Kurumada frowns, absentmindedly re-tying the sheet around his knuckles while swinging his legs up and down on the machine he was using at the time. Q-taro had told him to add weight to it, but the boxer preferred long repetitions instead of shorter and more intense training when it came to his lower body. “I haven't been the one to appreciate relationships for a while. Didn't have the time to. Or maybe didn’t have the motivation. I dunno.”
“It's true that a relationship requires investment from both parties.” Q-taro admits, a bit taken aback by the subject but not unwilling to speak about it anyways. “Me an' Kai had some problems at first because he was a bit reluctant about opening up, but it's better now.” He looks at Kurumada who was now busying himself with his second hand. “D’ya think it'd be hard for ya to invest yourself in a relationship ?”
The boxer’s eyes narrow and he swings his legs back a little too fast. “No. I’m not worried about that.”
“Then what are ya worryin' about ? ‘fraid I don’t get it.”
“Well, I mean,” he looks very deep into thoughts, which was definitely unsettling coming from him. “I'm a boxer. So all my injuries and all the fights I constantly get in ‘cause of my job come in a package with me. Wouldn't be surprised if someone would not want a serious relationship with me, and only a one night swing, or somethin'.” He finally explains, then gets up from the machine, visibly upset.
“I should add weight to change my mind.” He mumbles, suddenly looking terribly ashamed of his words. Q-taro blinks, unsure if he was correctly understanding what all this was about.
“No, Naomichi,” said boxer raises his head from the weights he was busying himself with, expression unreadable. “Why are ya thinking about these things all of a sudden ? Did something happen ?”
At the questions, Kurumada sighs. He gets up again, sits down on the same machine, and gives it a push to check the difficulty. Then, he turns his head to Q-taro with a terribly defeated face. “I think I'm catching feelings,” he whines, “and I hate it.”
“Ya got a crush ?”
“Saying it like this just makes its worse !” the boxer yells, hitting both fists on the side of the machine. “I’m not in high school !”
Amused, Q-taro finds himself remembering the first times he had realized he loved Kai. “I mean,” he laughs, “it’s not like you are fully in love, right ? Have ya even spoken to them yet ? Who are they ?”
“We have spoken, yeah !” Kurumada answers angrily. “He’s very sweet, I'll tell you that! But I have no idea if I’ll ever see him again, so,” he stops talking, his eyes getting lost staring at something right in front of him. “It’s kind of pointless to think about it now.” He finishes, then in the silence that follows from both of them, he tentatively goes back to swinging his legs. The redhead has no idea how to respond to this at first, a little uneasily staring at his friend.
Until he decides to help. Kurumada Naomichi was in his mid twenties, a handsome man with a healthy body and a... well, he had a personality. Q-taro had lived through the same when first encountering Kai, and he had had his friends to help him out for it, and it had been pretty fun for them (apparently). He does not have much to lose. Hell, he could even ask Kai for help; it'd be a fun bonding activity maybe ?
So, as his big brother instincts kick in, he decides to continue the conversation. “Right, but, where did you two meet ?”
Kurumada looks almost bored at the question, but responds anyways. “Bus.”
“Bus ?” he repeats, a bit dumb.
“Yeah. I was taking the bus from a new stadium I had been at to come home, and there was no place other than next to him, so I sat there cause I was kinda tired—you know, fighting and all. A few minutes later, he asked me if I was doing okay, and I said yeah, and he added all shy that I had bruises all over and that he had just gotten worried.”
Q-taro grins. “Seems like he hit on you before you did, huh ?”
“Waddya mean ? He was just being polite.” Kurumada asks, absolutely oblivious. “Anyways, after that I told him why I was like this and stuff, and he nodded, and then he said something about how he was scared of fighting and how impressive it was that I did it as a job and even let myself get beaten up without flinching.”
Again, the redhead sighs. “He was definitely hitting on ya.”
“He was just saying what he thought ?? I don’t understand,” the boxer says immediately, looking as confused as he sounded. Q-taro is almost annoyed, wondering if that was what Keiji was talking about while trying to set him up with Kai.
“Whatever. What didja answer ?”
“I told him that I trained all the time for it and that my body would not hurt even if I got hit by a car ! And then he laughed, cause it was funny you know, and it was adorable.” He catches himself growing soft, and rubs his hands together. “Yeah. He laughed.”
It reminds Q-taro of the first time he had made Kai laugh. It felt absolutely extraordinary, seeing his face light up and giggle until his cheeks were all red and his eyes all teary and—
Anyways. “Right. That's all ?”
“No, uhm,” Kurumada looks up, and down, then at Q-taro. “He was really cute, dude.”
“I got that. What else ?” he answers, bemused.
“I asked him what his job was, and he got all embarrassed like it was bad but apparently he’s just an office worker. I told him I guessed as much since he was wearing a suit, and he laughed a bit again. Then it was his stop, and he left.” He pauses, blinks. “He said bye bye.”
The redhead stares at his friend, astonished. “That’s all it took to make ya fall in love ?”
“Hey ! I never said I fell in love ! I just...” he presses his lips to a thin line. “I thought he was handsome. Is all. Would have liked seeing him again.”
Q-taro thinks for a bit, letting the information sink in. “Did ya catch his name ?”
“No.”
“Number ?”
“Nope.”
“His stop ?”
“Alright,” Kurumada’s tone gets a little defensive. “I’m not a stalker, okay ?”
Q-taro stares at him. “Yeah I remember his stop. Was the one right before mine.” He finally admits in a breath.
“Better than nothing, eh ?” he exclaims hopefully, slapping the man's back. “That means he don't live too far away from ya. It's a plus !”
“Guess it is. But it doesn't matter, since I’ll never see him again.” The boxer says dejectedly, going back at staring at his feet. “Didn’t even ask his name. What a loser...”
“I have a friend who works in the police...?” Q-taro hesitantly asks, which earns him a burning glare from the other. “Yeah yeah, bad idea.” He decides to keep for himself his fiancee’s questionable activities as well. “I mean, other than that...maybe you should take the same bus at the same hour ? He could be in it again ? I dunno.”
Kurumada considers the option, then smiles. “I'm gonna be takin that bus every day now, since I need to be at that stadium for my boss. So I’ll definitely meet him again !”
“How didja forget that you were going to continue taking the same bus at the same hour..?” he asks, dumbfounded. Kurumada was really surprising when he set his heart to it. He does not add on to it, because the man looked suddenly full of hope again, legs swinging twice as hard as before.
Love, he thinks to himself. Was he getting old ?
.
“Hayasaka Shunsuke.” Kurumada says, very proud of himself, a few days later during training. Q-taro puts the dumbbell he was using down, and stares at him.
“What ?”
“Hayasaka Shunsuke. That's his name.” He repeats, somehow looking even prouder. “I got his name !!”
“Who’s name ?” the redhead asks again, feeling more stupid by the second, seeing how Kurumada's face turns to mockery.
“The guy in the bus I was tellin you about. I got his name.”
Q-taro remembers the fateful conversation, and his brain clicks the information into place. “Oh ! That's great, man !”
“I haven't asked his number yet,” the boxer continues quickly, shaking his hands to emphasize his words, “but I will soon. I'm waiting a bit more, cause he looks really nervous about everything. But I learned that he had a nephew, and also that he likes cats better than dogs ! Which is a crime, but I’ll let it pass.”
The redhead blinks at the sudden dump of seemingly useless facts. But Kurumada looked so smitten, so absolutely full of joy at every single word he was pronouncing, which was a big contrast to his usual way of talking like he had killed a man mere seconds ago. He was still talking. “He said since we take the same bus, he'd keep a place for me next to him all the time ! So we could continue talking ! He's so kind, Q-taro, he's literally so kind,”
“Alright, want to go back on the fact that yer not in high school anymore ?” he teases, watching Kurumada's face darken with embarrassment, and then laughs. “I’m playin' with ya. I'm glad yer getting along.”
The boxer nods, taking a step backwards before expertly shifting his stance in the correct one to hit the sack in front of him. The smile on his face while he beat the poor sack to a pulp was not full of hate, but just genuine pride, which was a little unsettling but ultimately sweet to look at. He lets the other hit a few times, since they were here to work out after all, then speaks again. “How didja learn about his nephew and his love for cats anyways ? Seems a little random.”
“Actually,” Kurumada’s smile gets even bigger, if that was possible. “There was a little cat charm on his bag, and I asked about it. Turns out his nephew got it for him because the kid loves cats and dogs. So I asked him which he preferred between the two, and he answered cats. Is all.” he turns his head from the sack he was punching to Q-taro, and his eyes are sparkling. “He's good with kids !”
The redhead bursts out laughing at the situation, leaving Kurumada a bit confused and equally ashamed. But he does not stop, continuing to holler for a good minute while people around them start to stare and the boxer becomes gradually more awkward. Finally he calms down, hitting his chest to stop the cackles, and his friend looking absolutely furious leans forwards.
“Are you done ?” he hisses.
“Yep !” Q-taro shoots back lightly. “Man, yer totally head over heels for him. Does he even look that good ?”
Kurumada seems to ponder upon whether he should answer or not, before giving up. “He has glasses.”
“You’re in love with a nerd ??”
“If you don't shut up this instant I will destroy your face.”
.
A few days later as he does not get any update on the Hayasaka situation, Q-taro decides to question Kurumada himself instead of waiting for new information.
“So, about that guy,” he starts, as he helps adding weight to the boxer’s arms, “how’s he been ?”
The blue haired man's eyes immediately focus on his friend. He was laying down, metal bar held just above his chest, patiently waiting for more weight. “I thought you didn't want to hear me talk about him ?”
“Never said that. I love hearing ye be all happy about a dude.” He answers genuinely, amused at how quickly it makes Kurumada stare back at the ceiling. “So ? ‘nything new ?”
“I got his number ?”
Q-taro raises his palm. “Good job.” The boxer laughs, and brings his own hand in for a loud high five to which neither of them flinch. “Have ya been texting ?”
“A little.” He grins, “Hayasaka doesn’t text much. He uses all the punctuation and correct spelling it’s like I’m getting mails from my boss.” He laughs again, good naturedly. “But like yesterday, he sent me this,” the boxer reaches for his phone in the pocket of his jacket next to them and unlocks it, before swiping through some things. “here.”
Q-taro takes the offered phone, and looks at the displayed messages. There was a sent picture of a small kid in what appeared to be a cat cape who was hugging a big brown wolf-dog. Although his mouth was covered, the kid was definitely smiling, and the dog looked as goofy with his tongue hanging out between shiny white teeth. The text right under it was equally interesting.
My nephew and I met this dog while on a walk in the park. His owner told us that he was called Thunder. He reminded me of you.
“He sent you a picture of a dog because it reminded him of you ?” he asks, a smile tugging at his lips. Kurumada gives him a look that says “duh”, and his mouth parts into a big smile. “Naomichi, this guy might be even more in love than you are.”
The boxer extends his hand in a ‘gimme that back' fashion, and Q-taro hands it back as ordered. “Don't make fun of him. He's doing his best to be friendly.”
“Doing his best to get in your pants is what he's doing !” the redhead shoots back instantly, which earns him a sour face. “Sorry, I meant, to get in your...life. Yeah.”
Kurumada sighs. “He doesn’t look the type to want little meaningless flings. He is very serious, you know ? Like he's got a correct job in an office, wears suits and ties and stuff, and he’s got glasses.” At the end of his little list, he closes his eyes tightly. “Aarghh, and he’s probably straight and we're just friends. We're not even on first name basis. Fuck.”
“Come on, no need to swear.” Q-taro adds a bit more weight on the bar to lighten the strength Kurumada was using to think. “I’m sure he's into ye. I mean, even if he ain’t, at least you guys talk, right ?” the boxer makes an intelligible sound which vaguely resembled a yes, so he continues. “And besides, ya don't know each other too well. It's normal yer not on first name basis yet.”
“I guess so... How long did it take you and Kai to get on first name basis ?” He asks, a little lost. Q-taro gives him an almost sad laugh.
“Should I remind ya I hate it when people call me by my last name ?”
“Right.” Kurumada sharply exhales while pushing on his arms to test the weight, and seems satisfied. “I just really want to call him by his first name you know ? Hayasaka just sounds like...Dunno, like I’m talking about some acquaintance. But Shunsuke—hell, maybe even Shun, I mean,”
The redhead wisely nods his head. “Yeah. Pet names.”
“Not what I meant ?! Just ? Aw, forget it.” His face was darkening again in an angry blush. It was just an invitation to be teased.
“Please don't be horny here. Some people might get the wrong idea.” He leans forward to whisper, and earns himself yet another trademark Kurumada glare.
“Add more weight.”
“Whatever you say, loverboy.”
.
“I got a date.”
Q-taro blinks. They had just finished yet another training session, a few days later, and were walking towards their respective homes.
“A date ?”
“Yeah.” Kurumada does not elaborate.
The redhead takes it as a cue to grab him by the shoulders into one of his personal specialities : big hugs. He crushes the (barely) smaller man under himself. “Good job!!!!There you go!!!”
The boxer laughs, but it sounds more like he was being strangled under tons of muscles; which he was. Q-taro yells a bit more, squeezing the poor man stronger, then lets him go. He was almost feeling as much serotonin as the blue haired man who, once the hug was over, literally starts vibrating in excitement.
“I know ! I swear, it was so stupidly hard ? But I did it !”
“Yeah you did !” He cackles, strongly hitting the other’s back which only triggers more laughs from him. Kurumada sounded ecstatic.
“I did ! We were in the bus, and I told him it'd be nice to see each other somewhere else than in the bus and he answered yeah, and I said I know a nice bakery wanna go sometime, and he said yeah again, and then he had to go, but he sent me a text right after he got off the bus, and like he asked when and where and I got all the time figured and also—”
“Which bakery ?” he interrupts, too caught up in the story to omit any detail.
“Ah, yeah, Mai's ! Apparently he doesn't know it so you bet I will bring her new customers.” Kurumada quickly answers, grinning brightly. “I know he'll love it ! Everyone loves Mai's baking.”
“Everyone loves Mai's baking.” He nods seriously. “Ya made an excellent pick fer a first date, Naomichi.”
“I mean, we never said it was a date but,” his face lights up with a smirk. “Two men alone in a bakery on a Saturday evening sounds like a date to me.”
Q-taro flashes back an equally suggestive grin. “And who knows, if yer lucky, ye might get to bring him home !” then he stops, face falling. “Wait, I didn’t mean it like—”
“Nah, you're right.” Kurumada shrugs, pushing his hands deep into his pockets. “Am not doing it for the sex, but could be a nice plus.” He chuckles, easing the tension in the redhead's spine. Then he sighs, raising his head to look at the sky; no star was visible, but there was something comforting about the immense darkness anyways. “I’m glad.”
For a few moments, Q-taro watches his friend walk, head up in the air and heart probably floating along with it amidst the clouds. It reminds of something soft, something comforting, a pleasant glee brought in by that sympathetic feeling that made one's body warmer. But it could also get too hot, and burn deeply and painfully—but he would not let himself think about that. Kurumada was just warm enough, and he was happy.
Only that mattered. Nothing else.
Eventually they arrive at the redhead's house, and he waves goodbye to the other who still had around a solid kilometer to his flat. “Keep me updated !” he shoots from his door, and the boxer grins brightly.
“I will !” he exclaims, before turning around to take his leave and follow the road home.
.
[17:47] Dude I'm kinda scared I arrived like 15min early and I took a table for two and I’m gonna wait. Wish me luck !
[17:49] Good luck man ! Thumbs up ! Don't be weird !
-
Q-taro gets an incoming phone call at around 20:15, while comfortable laying with his fiancee in the sofa, absentmindedly watching the news. He excuses himself from Kai who looks a little unnerved but allows it anyways, and picks up his phone.
“Hullo ? Q-taro Burgerberg.”
“Oh hello Q-taro, thank god,” Mai's shrill voice reaches him from the end of the line. Immediately, he feels an uneasy nerve tense up in his arm.
“Mai ? Wassup ?” he still asks in the calmest way possible. “Did somethin' happen ?”
He hears a little sigh. “It’s more about something that didn't happen, actually.”
“Don't keep me in the dark ?” the redhead immediately questions when she pauses.
“Well, see, Naomichi came for a date today, right ?”
“Right.”
“The guy...he didn't show up.”
Q-taro's stomach drops. Fast. Behind him, he hears Kai say something; the black haired man had probably sensed the stress coming from his tense position. “He didn’t show up ?”
“He didn’t show up.” Mai repeats, voice becoming tinier. “Naomichi’s been sitting here for two hours, and nothing. It kinda breaks my heart.” She ends her statement with a heavy exhale.
“Is he still here ?” he asks, now feeling Kai lean over his shoulder curiously. He gently presses his fiancee’s hand in a way he hopes will ease him.
“He bought a pack of cigarettes and he went outside a few minutes ago. He didn't go very far, he's just smoking down the alley. Should I do something ?” she continues, sounding more and more squirmish by the second. “It’s making me worried...”
“It’s okay Mai, thanks for callin’. I’ll swing by.” He answers, working hard to keep his tone unreadable, and the woman at the end of the line thanks him before hanging up. As he puts down his phone, Kai pushes his chin forward from his spot on his shoulder.
“What was that for ?” he asks, voice gentle as always. Q-taro turns around to give him a quick peck on the forehead, then gestures to get his coat but the other presses himself against him.
The redhead laughs, bringing a hand to the side of his face. “A friend of mine, you know Naomichi, was stood up by his date. I'm just gonna check if he's doing good.” He explains genuinely, and as he does Kai’s expression shifts into an approving one. He nods, gets on his toes to kiss his fiancee’s nose then lets him take his coat.
“That's quite sad for Naomichi-kun.” Kai says, while watching him dress up. “Was he looking forward to this date ?”
Q-taro painfully reminds himself of the pure bliss shining in Kurumada's eyes when he had brought up said event. “Yeah.” He grimaces. “Apparently he's smokin' to cope. Poor guy must be really upset.”
“He has all the rights to be.” His fiancee comments very seriously. The redhead nods, then without further distraction he reluctantly leaves his warm home to get out. The sky was almost pitch black, and he exhales a tiny cloud of hot air against his skin before pressing his hat further on his head. The air was cold.
He wonders how Kurumada is feeling, all alone in the darkness, with his cigarettes and the taste of ash in his nostrils. It reminds him of the days when he used to find Keiji full of alcohol, laying down in a place that should not be used to lay down on, looking distraught and lost and staring at invisible spots on the wall through glassy eyes. He does not want to think more about it.
Sure enough, after a solid ten minutes of jogging during which an immense amount of thoughts go through his head, he arrives at Mai's bakery. It was closed now, and the only source of light emanating from it was the bright yellow neon displaying its name on top of the glass door. He pauses, examining the road around himself to spot his friend. In the semi-full darkness, it takes a while, and he switches on his phone light to help, before he finally finds the boxer sitting a few feet away on the side of the road.
It was a pitiful sight. Kurumada was wearing a big puffy orange coat which he had pulled up to his ears to cover his neck as well as he could, and a little pile of ash and burnt cigarettes were lying next to him on the sidewalk. He was still smoking, but his hands were in his pockets, which made the cigarette hang awkwardly from between his pinched lips—it did not even seem to be lit. The boxer barely reacts at the bright light flashed at him, stares right into Q-taro’s eyes, then goes back to looking at the unclear darkness before him.
“Go ahead and laugh.” He mutters after a few seconds in silence, voice hoarse from smoking so much in such a little time. The redhead feels something rattle in his ribcage, and unable to say anything, simply sits down next to him.
They stay quiet again. Kurumada is breathing loudly, through clenched teeth and a probably burning throat, but Q-taro finds nothing to say. His stomach was on fire from the anxiety, and he could not even begin to guess how much pain his friend was in. He can feel the negative feelings enveloping him, clouding his usually bright fuchsia eyes. There is not much to say; he does not even know the man who had not shown up.
“I feel dumb.” Kurumada finally says, directing his gaze at his shoes. “I mean, what did I expect ? I guess we weren't even that close. He didn’t send me any message.” The boxer continues, quietly, voice unnaturally numb. He reaches for the phone in his pocket and pulls it out, unlocking it immediately to the exchanged texts.
[17:50] hey I arrived early haha I’ll be waiting for u
[18:10] is everything alright ? You’re late
[18:23] should I call the police ? You’re not answering lol
[18:42] did I do something wrong ? I’m sorry.
[19:16] where r u ?
[19:38] should I just leave ? Please answer. I’m scared haha
[19:54] I’m gonna leave.
[20:05] just joking, I’m still here. Please answer?
[20:17] why didn’t you come ?
“I sent so many texts.” He laughs bitterly. “I was worried.”
Q-taro does not answer immediately. Then, after giving the phone back, he gently speaks. “How are you feeling ?”
“Dunno.” He seems to conclude the sentence there, but the redhead gives him a look to encourage him to speak. “I guess I’m sad ? We've known each other for only about a month. But I really liked him. I’m cold.”
There is not much to answer. “You’re not mad ?”
“I guess I should be. I was mad, sometime while I was waiting, because I thought god he’s making me look pathetic in front of Mai but ultimately...” His throat seems to squeeze up because his voice cracks. “I guess I’m just worried. Something bad must have happened. He wouldn’t have left me alone willingly.”
Q-taro feels like he is being repetitively punched in the gut. Kurumada, the great big undefeatable Kurumada Naomichi, was sitting right next to him on the sidewalk staring at the ground and his voice had cracked. It had cracked. It was almost making him cry.
Suddenly, the man pushes his head down with a tiny grunt, and hits it on Q-taro’s shoulder. “He’s a good guy.” He mumbles, tone wobbling along with his entire body. “He’s gotta be a good guy.” He repeats, nearly desperate. His face was hidden, angled down and half-buried in the other's shoulder, and therefore although he could not see it, the redhead could hear the tears threatening to spill from his eyes.
So, unsure about doing anything else, Q-taro brings an arm around his friend's shoulders and gives it a squeeze. “I’m sure he is. He's got a nephew who he loves and a cat charm on his bag. He's definitely a good guy.” He is careful to keep his voice even, and is quite proud at how sturdy it remains. Kurumada gives a small wet laugh at his words, then inhales a lot of air before throwing his head backwards.
If the redhead sees the unnatural way in which the other's pink eyes glowed under the artificial light from the lamp post a few feet ahead, he does not comment on it. “You’re right. I'll see him on the bus Monday. So I’ll ask him face to face. And if he isn’t who I thought he was, then...” he raises his fist and menacingly clenches it. Q-taro remarks that he was not wearing his trademark bandages, instead exposing his scarred hands proudly.
He had been really, really looking forward to this date, huh.
As the atmosphere eases up, he slowly starts to realize that the air was really cold and that it was getting darker and therefore chiller by the second. Kurumada looked even slightly better, working to gather the burnt cigarettes on the floor in his palms, probably thinking about where to dispose of them.
“We should go home.” The redhead says, a little loudly to get his attention, which he does. The boxer looks at him, and flashes an exhausted but thankful smile.
“Yeah. It's getting dark.” He gets up, carefully keeping his hands together to not drop the garbage. Q-taro watches him for a few seconds, then makes a decision.
“Do you want to come to my house ?” he suddenly proposes, matter-of-factly. Kurumada's eyes widen, but he does not immediately answers. “I mean, if ya wanna. I don't think Kai would mind.” He adds on, pretty much convinced that indeed his fiancee would not mind—maybe he’d even be happy to have someone else to feed.
His friend seems to hesitate, uneasily shifting his glance from his hands to Q-taro, then sighs. “Thank you, Q-taro.” He smiles. “I’m really grateful. Not everyone would do this for a friend, especially one who's been stood up by his date.” He gives a strained laugh. The redhead just grins back at him, and encouragingly taps his shoulder.
“Of course I'd do this for ya, Naomichi. Ye didn’t deserve this, and if anyone needs to be beaten up for it, you can count on me an' Kai.”
Kurumada laughs, then stops. “Oh. You’re serious. But thanks, I can beat anyone up by myself.” He shrugs. “I am not feeling up to it right now. Guess I'm just tired from doing nothing for two hours...alone...in a bakery...” His smile becomes more and more forced towards the end of the sentence. “It’s weird, honestly; I think I’m not angry, because it is definitely not his fault for not coming.”
“Yeah, definitely isn’t.” Q-taro adds seriously, though unconvinced. He needed to agree though, no need to torment the other any further. Kurumada nods, then as they walk he finds a bin to throw his cigarettes in.
“Are you really sure it’s okay...?” he asks, as they take the direction to go to the redhead’s house. “I appreciate not being left alone but coming unannounced...Is Kai-“
“Kai is always happy to have more people to take care of.” he puts a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “It’s really okay. He might not show it, but he doesn't mind.”
“Fine.” Kurumada complies, redirecting his gaze to the ground. The other notices a little worriedly that he was not gazing at the sky anymore but at his shoes, head looking almost too heavy for him to lift up.
It only breaks his heart more, and makes him pray that this Hayasaka he spoke of really was a good man, or he would definitely not see another day.
.
First thing in the morning, someone rings the doorbell.
Being habituated to waking up early thanks to his fiancee, Q-taro was already in the kitchen, busying himself with setting up the table and careful about not forgetting the extra plate for their special guest while Kai was cooking. “Taro, can you get that ?” he demands, raising both hands holding eggs. “I’m a little busy at the moment.”
“No problem !” he calls back, laying down the last fork on the table before gesturing to towards the door. He looks through the peephole, and when he sees who's face is looking right back at him, he grins. With a tiny click, he unlocks the door. “Hey, Keiji !”
“Hiya. Can a tired policeman come in for a cup of coffee ?” the blond man asks, and is immediately allowed inside and led to the kitchen. “Hiya Kai.”
“Hello, Keiji. What brings you here ?” Kai answers evenly, greeting their friend with a polite nod before going back to his frying pan. Meanwhile, the policeman had sunken down in one of the chairs with a sigh and made himself comfortable already, elbows on the table.
“A really exhausting emergency popped up yesterday evening. Had to stay up all night to take care of it, police duties an' all. Plus there were injured. Ohh-“ he extends his hands happily, accepting the cup given to him by Q-taro, “coffee...”
“It's english black tea, actually,” the black haired man corrects from his spot at the kitchen sink. “Healthier than coffee.” He adds, just for precision. Keiji does not answer, instead making a grimace at the liquid but drinking it anyways.
As he watches him drink, Q-taro brings out a fourth set of plate an cutlery, understanding that the policeman would not be departing shortly. “Right. What about this case ? Ye said there were injured ?” He questions, genuinely curious.
“Hm, yeah. Domestic violence.” His expression does not change; as a policeman, he had seen too much. “Taking care of it was pretty exhausting both physically and mentally.”
Meanwhile, Kurumada had emerged from the living room in which he had been sleeping. Q-taro greets him with a wave, and the boxer returns the gesture before yawning loudly into his hand. He looked less tired than yesterday evening, and already in the way he walked it was clear he had regained a sense of himself. “G’morning.” He mumbles, sitting down at the table.
It takes him a solid minute to realize there is an extra in the kitchen, upon which he cocks an eyebrow. “Keiji Shinogi. Your friendly neighbourhood policeman. Also these guys' friend.” The blond man presents himself before being requested to do so. Kurumada nods, sleepily blinks his eyes then squints.
“Naomichi Kurumada. Boxer. Don’t have a great relationship with police.” He responds, still half-awake.
Keiji grins. “Nobody has a good relationship with the police.”
“Anyways,” Q-taro interrupts, unsure of whether going down the conversation topic of ‘having a good relationship with the police’ was a good idea, “domestic abuse ?”
Kurumada gives him the most confused glare he had ever gotten—clearly, he was not a morning person. The policeman understands the question, though, and elaborates. “Yeap, bad case. An alcoholic man beats up his wife and her brother, who manage to call the police, and boom case closed.” He smiles, in that sarcastic way of his. “Except not really, because paperwork.”
“Was there a kid somewhere in there ?” the redhead asks, reluctant to know the answer. “There’s often a kid in these situations.”
Keiji laughs sharply. “Wow, you really wanna know everything about this case huh ? Alright, listen up for details. Yeah, there was a kid,”
“Are they okay ?” Kurumada pipes up, also looking like he was growing curious about the story. The blond man nods.
“Yup. Thanks to his uncle and his mom, the kid's physically completely fine. A little in shock though, I mean. Nothing too bad. Apparently it's not the first time this has happened, but it is the first time someone actually ended up the hospital because of it.”
As Kai brings eggs to the table, putting one in each plate from his frying pan, he too looks interested. “The hospital ? That's serious.” He comments, turning around just as fast to go clean up the pan.
“Yeah, the uncle went pretty far to protect his nephew. It's understandable, though. The kid is super adorable. Loves cats and dogs.” He continues, taking his cutlery to pick at the egg. “Itadakimasu.”
“Itadakimasu.” Q-taro and Kurumada repeat just as fast before they too pick at their own plates. Somehow, the redhead seems to be itched about a certain detail from the story, but cannot tell which, and lets it go.
“Woah, that's real good egg !” the boxer explains after a few seconds, to which Kai happily nods without smiling.
“Thank you.”
“Anyways, as I was saying,” Keiji goes back to speaking, apparently interested in keeping himself the centre of attention, “the father comes back home super drunk while the uncle was here to take care of the kid with the wife. They were happy, yadda yadda, honestly feel kind of bad for what happened to them.”
He pauses there, watching closely at the different reactions. Kai was not giving any interesting, focused on tasting his own food; but both Q-taro and Kurumada were carefully listening. Satisfied, he continues. “When drunk, he apparently always got violent, so the two told the kid to go upstairs and play in his room which he did, while they took care of the matter.
“So the man got angry and wanted to see his son but clearly was not in the right state of mind to do so. He starts pushin' around, and that's when the uncle tells the wife to go call the police. Smart man that he is. So she does, while the two men kinda get more and more violent.
“But the uncle is a really scrawny man, so he’s not much against a bigger older drunk. He’s hit a few times, gets dizzy, and the father manages to get upstairs. So the uncle gets up, and in a brilliant moment of heroism, dashes upstairs as well to save the kid.”
Again, he pauses. “So ?” Kurumada practically yells. “And then what ?”
Keiji laughs, “Then the uncle gets pushed downstairs by the man, breaks his wrist, and these friendly policemen arrive.” He points at himself proudly. “That’s all. We stopped the man, arrested him, drove the uncle to the hospital, and calmed the wife down.”
Silence follows the end of the story. For a few moments, only sounds of cutlery are heard in the house, then, “I suppose you will not let the man get closer to his son again ?” Kai asks, tilting his head to the side.
“Nah, not happening. The superior officers already spoke with the law etc etc and I’m no professional, but they're probably gonna let the kid live only with his mom from now on. I dunno what's gonna happen to the dad.” He stuffs some egg in his mouth. “So it's cool. The kid is safe. The uncle looked really stressed out though, said he had something to do but we couldn’t let him go since he was a witness and, literally had a broken wrist.”
“He could've had plans that evening. Or work to do. I wouldn’t know.” Kai admits, albeit a little strangely, and nods at Keiji. “Thank you for the story. It was interesting.”
“Eh, it's an interesting story against a good meal ! Fair exchange.” He rolls his shoulders back, grinning in a content way. His egg was starting to grow cold on his plate already, but clearly not minding it, he keeps on talking. “And what did you” he points his fork at Kurumada “do to earn this meal ?”
The boxer, who had been gobbling down as much protein as he could (he had skipped yesterday's supper, saying his stomach felt funny. Kai had been a little upset about that) abruptly stops to look at Keiji. He hesitates, eyes glancing from his plate to the man, then shrugs. “Got stood up by my date. Wasn't feeling good, so I’m basically their refugee.” He answers honestly.
Q-taro was often impressed at how naturally the man would reveal things about himself, and then regret it seconds later when teased about it. He wondered where his genuine speech pattern came from. Keiji, as laid-back as the other, only answers a small “That’s tough.” Before leaving the subject. The two shared a bored glance, then both went back to their respective meals and the redhead watched the silent interaction with more questions than he would admit it.
They were surprisingly similar. Big arms, apparently unbothered, would punch as a warning, and hated the police. They could become good friends, he realizes, and reminds himself to ask Keiji if they could bring Kurumada along to some of their drinking sessions; could be fun.
It was a Sunday morning, and on Sundays, Q-taro did not do anything. Since a certain policeman had so pleasantly decided to join the party, he supposes that he'd stay for the day since he had nothing else to do except sleep, probably. He also guesses that the boxer who was surprisingly still eating (maybe because of the stress from yesterday night?) would take his leave, uneasy about bothering the two much further, though it would objectively be better for his mood to stay.
He'd think about these once his breakfast was over, he ponders while munching on a bread stick. It'd be impolite to not enjoy Kai's meal at its full extent, so the redhead gladly obliges to direct his full attention to the scrambled eggs in his plate; when suddenly his phone rang.
“It's starting to become redundant.” Kai sighs, raising his eyebrows, unsurprised. “You should think of lowering the volume of your phone.”
“Yeah, that was kinda scary.” Kurumada pipes in between two bites, visibly slightly shaken by the booming start of his ringing tone. Keiji nods in approval, a smile tugging the corner of his pinched lips.
“Maybe it’s an important call.” He simply remarks. “Mr. Burgerberg has important duties.” He adds, his tone mocking. Q-taro shoots him a sharp but playful ‘shut up', before getting up to answer the call.
“Hullo ? Q-taro Burgerberg.” He says, voice monotone. At the other end of the line, he hears a hushed whisper and a questioning snap before Mai's voice rings clear as day.
“Q-taro ! God, I’m glad you picked up.” She happily squeaks. “I’ve got something to ask of you.” Again, behind her, he hears an unknown person sharply inhale.
Confused, but nonetheless curious, “What can I do for ye ?” he asks. Behind him, three men are intensely staring at his back as if to understand the conversation.
“See, there's a man right here, who's searching for Naomichi. Said he broke his phone and asked me if I knew him,” She giggles, and behind her, a bit muffled, comes a frustrated groan. “Sorry, the man is a little upset. D'you know where he is ? He didn’t pick up his phone when I rang.”
Q-taro glances behind him, eyes immediately catching Kurumada’s, who mouths a bewildered ‘what?’. “Yeah,” he starts, not leaving the other’s eyes, “he’s here with me. Ya wanna talk to him ?”
The boxer blinks, mouths another ruder question, as Mai cheerfully responds. “It’d be better if you could get him to come here ! If that's no problem ?”
“It's nawt. Thanks Mai, ya helped a lot.”
She laughs, high-pitched cackle almost scaring him. “Sure sure ! I'm really just having fun here, hihi !”
Then she hangs up, and the empty ring tone concludes their short calls. Still a little taken aback, Q-taro hesitantly locks his phone and when he raises his eyes again, Kurumada looks like he was about to explode with questions. He opens his mouth to explain, but is immediately cut short.
“What the fuck was that about ?” the blue haired man exclaims, dark pink eyes dangerously narrowing. He had clearly understood that the conversation had been about him, and he did not like that. Kai shoots him an unnerved glare, which is enough to make him bite back any other boiling upcoming comment.
“Lets calm down here...” Keiji mutters, although he too looked pretty lost. He casts an urgent glance to the redhead, asking him to speak.
“Uh, right, Naomichi,” he starts, surprisingly unsure how to talk, “Mai told me there was a guy who wanted to see you at her shop. Said he broke his phone, and that he looked pretty upset.”
At the words, Kurumada almost melts into a dull stance. He blinks, and all the tension in his arms wash away with a single pointless motion he makes with his wrist, which he puts down on the table without a word. His expression goes blank. “That all ?” he asks quietly, precedent anger completely vanished. Still, Q-taro can feel the pressure threatening to crack out if he did not provide an adequate response quickly.
“Tha’s all.” He therefore confirms. Then, after a moment of silence where Kai and Keiji exchange equally confused glances, he speaks again. “Wanna go ?”
He felt as if he had to handle the situation with utmost care, knowing full well how quickly Kurumada could turn his back again. “I mean, I guess I should.” He admits, eyes glued to his empty plate, any semblance of his past hunger disappeared. “Right ?”
The silence that follows is even worse.
“I could drive you there ?” Keiji suddenly proposes, “My car’s just around the corner and I know Mai's bakery pretty well.” He rubs his chin, looking oddly calm. “Am kinda craving her cinnamon buns right now too.”
“I could have made cinnamon buns.” Kai mumbles, dark eyes darting to the policeman who gives an apologetic shrug.
“Anyways, yeah, would be quicker than going there by foot. Except if you wanna run ? I can respect that.”
“No—it's fine, thank you for the offer, if,” he pushes himself off the table, then stops, face falling into a sheepish expression. “Can I leave the table ? The meal was very good, I owe you one, Kai.”
The black haired man seems to consider the situation for a second, then sighs. “Alright. If I need anyone beaten up, I will ask for your help. You may go.” He finally concedes, to which Kurumada energetically nods before sprinting off to the living room. Kai gives a side look at his fiancee, pointing his fork at him. “You brought noise to the house. It had been a while.”
“How is that my doing..? Keiji and Naomichi are doing all the noise.”
The policeman makes a short laugh, getting up and picking his jacket up. “Maybe Mr. Burgerberg could come with us and bring some buns from Mai's kitchen as an apology ?” He teases, elbowing said redhead.
Kai rolls his eyes. “Fine. I want the strawberry rolls, then. I do like those.” He mutters, now poking Q-taro with his fork. “You better get me all she has left.”
“It's only the morning, she probably has plenty.” He answers, planting a kiss on his fiancee’s forehead. “Will bring you all she has, promise.” The black haired man makes a disgruntled expression, but adds nothing more, shaking his hand to signify their conversation was over. Meanwhile, Kurumada had re-emerged from the living room with his orange bomber on, hands patting down his pockets to check if he had not forgotten anything.
Keiji gestures for them to leave. “Thank you for your hospitality,” the boxer therefore says, bowing down in front of Kai, “I hope I wasn’t too much bother.”
“You were not.” The man answers, but with clear annoyance in his voice. “Now leave.”
Once they are out of his earshot and out of the house, Kurumada shivers. “Your fiancee's super scary, man. How do you put up with him ?”he asks, shaken. Q-taro simply shrugs.
“I think he's cute.”
“Whatever.”
“Yer one to talk.”
“Alright now, quit bickering.” Keiji unlocks his car, opening the door for them, and makes a grand gesture. “Welcome inside. Try not to step on the handcuffs I must've lost in there.” He adds jokingly, but it still provokes a sour reaction from the boxer, who carefully gets inside.
“I hate police cars.” The blue haired man mutters without developing, then falls silent, burying his nose in the collar of his puffy jacket and sinking in his seat like a child. Q-taro almost teases him about how much he looked like a criminal, but decides to keep it for himself. He had already forced his friend's patience one too many times, and now that they were in the car, the situation was starting to come back to him.
The man he had been stood up by, it was probably him, suddenly popped up fresh as a rose the day right after, pretending he had lost his phone. The redhead really hopes for his sake that he had a good excuse; like crashing his car or having a seizure or something. Of course, hoping that these things had happened to a man was not nice at all but, Q-taro cannot think of any other excuse that he would forgive.
And Kurumada held grudges like nobody ever did. The boxer was petty, fair and square, and he neither forgot nor forgave. So for the sake of their relationship as well, since he had looked so hopeful about it, the redhead wished for a valid reason. He does not know the man, Hayasaka it was, but through Kurumada's words he had seen a shy but respectful person who wore a suit and had a cat charm on his bag come to life.
‘He’s gotta be a good guy', the boxer had said, and he had looked so desperate about it that Q-taro had no other choice but believe him. Otherwise, the only way he knew for the other to calm down would be a good fight but with a policeman right next to them, that was out of the question. It was a worrying situation, and he suddenly almost regrets accepting Keiji's offer.
If things went haywire, which they often did when Kurumada Naomichi was involved, then it could all very quickly end with police intervention or worse. So Q-taro hopes for the best.
Just as Keiji had predicted, they reached the bakery very quickly, and without any other word. The policeman parks his car in a nearby free spot just down the road, and as soon as he cuts the contact and unlocks the doors, Kurumada bursts out. “Oh, hey, wait for us ?” the blonde man calls out, so the other stops, glaring right back.
“Move it.” He simply snaps. Q-taro remarks that his hands were hidden in his pockets, and is reminded that since he had not been home he had not put his bandages back on. Through the glossy fabric of his jacket he can see his fingers twitching—he was uncomfortable, and the vulnerability of his wrists was only adding on to it. Therefore, as a good friend and as a man who valued his own life he gets out without arguing. Keiji follows right after, also having picked on the situation.
When they are all outside the boxer starts walking quickly, and the other two follow just as fast, both thanking their long legs for the help. “Jeez, he's cranky.” The policeman whispers to his friend, after making sure Kurumada could not hear them.
Q-taro sighs, also lowering his voice. “Yesterday was harsh. I’ll explain la’er.” He answers under a breath, and Keiji nods without any other comment. He was curious, and it was clear he only helped them out and followed because it was a Sunday morning and all he craved was some pastries, and, incidentally, a little side drama. The redhead could not blame him.
The glass door is pushed open, and to be entirely honest, Q-taro expected everything but this.
At this early time in the morning, the bakery was practically empty save for Mai, some other workers, and a man standing at the counter. Said man looked quite strange in contrast to the tidy and cute atmosphere of the shop; he had brown hair which given currently looked more like a dead animal than hair, was wearing glasses which were a bit crooked on his face and a few Band-Aids had been put on his cheeks. As he turns around in surprise at the new arrivals, the redhead realizes that one his arms was in a cast, and therefore he had not been able to put on the second sleeve of his mouse grey vest, which hung loosely on his side.
Mai was right at his side, smiling as always, and waves for the three to come closer—which they do, except for Kurumada. He is frozen in place, looking all but happy about the situation, and Q-taro is hesitant to get further away in fear of what he might do. The brunette at the counter had also noticed that, because he had stopped after one step, hand anxiously rubbing his cast. He opens his mouth, closes it, takes a deep breath, then rubs his cast faster, eyes unable to hold the other's stare.
So, this was not starting well.
Suddenly, Keiji seems to remember something, stepping forward instead of the boxer. “Ah, Hayasaka, fancy seeing you here again.” He says casually, extending his hand. When the other does not (could not) take it, he whispers a small “my bad” before switching hands. The brunette shakes it, eyes a little unfocused.
“Hello, Mr. Shinogi,” he nods, and Q-taro realizes that his voice was very, very quiet. He did not know what to do except awkwardly advancing towards the two, and casts an urgent glance to Kurumada who, although looking extremely perplexed, comes closer anyways.
“You're doing better ? That's good. Didn't think the hospital would let you go so quickly.” The policeman continues, unnervingly laid back and refusing to give any precision to the two strong men behind him watching the scene.
Hayasaka forces out an unhappy laugh, his free hand going up to rub the back of his head. “Right...I was equally surprised...haha... But I needed to do something anyways, and I think they respected that.”
“Even when you look like you're probably gonna pass out any second ?”
The man laughs again, but there is a note of strained anger behind it. “I did not have the time to change, I'm feeling perfectly fine, thank you.” But Keiji was right, he looked like he belonged in a deathbed more than a bakery. He was standing, though, and Q-taro finds himself almost admiring the resilience, but does not have the time to when he remarks that his grey eyes had slid over to Kurumada again.
This was one of, if not the most strange situation he had ever been in, not counting the time he learned about Kai's ... illegal family business. And again, it had not been even close to how awkward this was, perhaps only because Kai was not an awkward man. Hayasaka, on the contrary, looked like the type of man who would apologize to people pouring soup in his lap.
“Anyways, if you don't know him already,” Keiji finally decides to say something relevant, pointing at the brunette, “Hayasaka, the uncle in my story. Y'know, fell down the stairs ?”
“...No need to rub it in.” He mumbles as an answer, healthy hand busying itself at his collar now. “I...was...unavailable last night...due to reasons Shinogi probably explained to you in detail already.” He adds, probably for Kurumada's sake more than Q-taro's. The redhead is not hurt—but he introduces himself anyways.
“Q-taro Burgerberg. Nice to meetcha—” he leans closer when shaking his hand, tightening his grip. “Sorry for what happened. Naomichi was pretty upset, be careful.” Hayasaka nods gratefully at the whispered words, then they part and he walks up to said blue haired boxer.
Again, a little silence. Kurumada does not seem to want to look up, eyes fixed on the ground. Q-taro decides that this is the time to take his leave, and half-heartedly pulls Keiji aside with him, getting to the counter where he meets Mai's eyes, brightly shining with interest. “Hi-“
“Sh! I wanna hear what's gonna happen !” she interrupts, leaning forward. “I wingwoman-ed for these two, the least I can get as a thank you is a sweet scene right here in my bakery !!” she continues, chipper.
“Whatever you say.” The policeman answers, but he is clearly listening and spying with interest the two men. There is no other choice, so Q-taro decides to follow their lead—and to be honest, he was also curious as what would happened. He simultaneously spots a few strawberry rolls on the counter and reminds himself to buy them once this was over.
Kurumada still had not said a word, and Hayasaka looked way too stressed out to speak either, so they were at a stalemate. Finally, the brunette takes a deep breath, and raises his head. “I am genuinely sorry, for not calling you—and not showing up. I should have at least texted, or got someone else to do it, but—” distraught at the absence of reaction, he was starting to crumble, visible by how quickly he rubbed his cast, “I’m sorry, I—I’m sorry—I should have—I apologize—”
“Did you sleep last night ?”
There is a pause. Hayasaka blinks, and his speech comes to a stop with a hitch. The three spectators also lean forward with doubled curiosity. “Huh ?”
“I asked if you had slept last night.” Kurumada's voice was oddly soft, and as hard as his eyes shone, he did not make any sharp movement. “You don’t look well.”
The brunette sputters, then shakes his head. “I must have...passed out in the hospital...maybe ?” he mutters hesitantly. “Or...uh...I'm not sure...I’m sorry...”
“Look,” the blue haired man sighs, shifting on his feet. “You don't have to apologize for not showing up. It wasn’t your fault. I'm just worried for your health, since, you know, yesterday night wasn't...fun.” he admits, staring at the other's cast. Said other who looked astonished, much to Q-taro's surprise—was he expecting the boxer to lash out ? Well, he could not blame him for that assumption, since Kurumada was the angry type, but the man seemed to feel guilty about choosing to defend his sister and nephew instead of going to his date.
There was so much fear painted on his features, and not only because of the state of his clothes and his cast. It makes the redhead feel upset, and faintly wonder what the drunk man had done not only yesterday but in the past as well. He tells himself to ask more details to Keiji later on, if only to help the brunette. He still did not know him properly, but something tells him he and Kai would get along.
Well, if he were to date Kurumada eventually he'd forcefully be pulled in by Q-taro and his other friends and he is certain that Hayasaka needed that.
“Well...ah...thank you for forgiving me...?” the man says, a smile tugging the corner of his lips. “If it's still alright...I'd like to taste some pastries. They look good.” He adds, almost sheepish. Kurumada's face finally breaks into a grin, and Q-taro is very glad to be reminded of all the softness the boxer had in his heart as he leans in to put a hand on the brunette's shoulder.
“Of course. You should get a coffee as well, could help for the day.” He gently suggests, guiding him to the counter where Keiji quickly spins around to pretend he was not looking, and instead asks Mai for a cinnamon bun and she too, caught up, suspiciously giggles and goes to get him one. As they come back next to them, Kurumada's eyes turn to Q-taro and suddenly, he's glaring.
The redhead almost shrieks when his arm is caught in a deathly grip, and the boxer whispers, “I saw you spying, gonna beat your ass,” before just as quickly retreating and melting back to softness as Hayasaka asks him what would be good to order. He exhales quietly, very thankful for escaping the beating right now but anxious about when it would fall back on him.
Meanwhile, Mai had strutted back with Keiji's cinnamon bun, and after giving it to him and taking his money, she turns to the two men and makes the sweetest, most full of honey smile she had ever made. “Heee-lloo !! What can I getchu todayyy ?” she says, not even trying to hide her giddiness. It owes her a very confused look from Hayasaka, and a twitching nerve in Kurumada's jaw, which only causes her to smile wider.
Poor boxer would not see the end of this; and neither would the brunette, once he was told the entire story. He had no idea what was about to hit him, Q-taro thinks. Of course, nothing said that he would stay acquainted to them for a long time, but the redhead could somehow feel it happening anyways—Kurumada had many strange friends as a package deal, and Hayasaka was just starting to meet them.
But no need to think about this right now. They were both here, there had been no fight, and they were going to eat some of Mai's best treats; everything was good. He is glad, and reminds himself to tell everything to Kai once back home.
“Honestly, I think you should try the strawberry rolls,” he suddenly overhears, “they’re super good. We should take a few.” Kurumada was saying, pointing at the pastries, and Q-taro could see his enormous shit-eating grin from his reflection in the glass of the counter.
The bastard.