Chapter Text
Warning(s): T, none
It had been almost three years since the end of the Fourth Shinobi World War, already in the middle of a harsher winter than the Land of Fire had experienced before. Since so much of the village had been destroyed before it was rebuilt, the dormitories where single kunoichi and shinobi like her stayed had been decimated, but were being rebuilt. Meanwhile, her parents’ house had miraculously remained intact. Her room seemed almost untouched since she was a child, still allowing her to see the outside world and the snow accumulated on her balcony if she turned her head just enough.
Outside, Sakura could see the silhouettes of scaffolding surrounding nearly every building, as construction equipment had been imported from outside the village due to the lack of their own. Although it wasn’t the same, places like the Academy, the Hokage’s Residence, and several critical administrative buildings, such as the Intelligence Division and the Konoha Hospital, were the first to be prioritized, followed by utilities. At the same time, general contractors handled private residences and businesses.
In the past three years, impressive gains had been made. In fact, many people believed the village would be fully restored before the beginning of summer if everyone pulled their weight. With Tsunade still at the helm as Fifth Hokage while Kakashi waited to prepare before taking over as Sixth, it meant that Sakura had been appointed Captain of the village’s Medic Corps in the hospital, practically living there more than anywhere else.
That was going to be the rest of her life, wasn’t it? That she’d take over her sensei’s place and lead the hospital in the same way Tsunade led the village. Tsunade Number Two surpasses her master and becomes a juggernaut in the community in a way her teacher could be proud of.
If the blueprint for the rest of her life was assured, why did she feel so unfulfilled despite how much time had passed?
Sakura rolled over onto her back and stared up at the blank ceiling, mulling over her thoughts until the answer came to her: she didn’t want to be Tsunade Number Two. What had made her teacher’s accomplishments so extraordinary was the fact that she dug her claws into a place most people disregarded and persisted until she forced them to notice. Tsunade had developed several means and methods of healing, vigorously modernizing and advancing the medical field and the methodology of med-nins to a point where they had accelerated past civilian medicine for a time.
She felt honored by the idea of continuing that legacy, but where would her mark in history be? Who was Sakura Haruno once Lady Fifth retired and her temporary placement in the hospital crystallized into the role she’d be living with for the rest of her life? Was she really blazing ahead, or just swimming down a river her teacher had dredged and filled with water herself?
Sakura would never be ungrateful for what her teacher had done for her. When even Kakashi had overlooked her, Tsunade had seen something in that young genin’s eyes and believed in the fire she had. Enough so that over the next two and a half years, she’d become a disciple worthy of the Lady Fifth, excelling through hard work and determination alone, rather than through a noble bloodline or being sealed with a hellishly powerful creature, or both. Who would she be without Tsunade Senju? Just an obscure genin subsiding on D-rank missions for the rest of her life?
A stab of guilt pierced her when she immediately thought of her father, the man himself, a genin who had been working assiduously, like anyone else, to help restore the village. Even her mother, a schoolteacher at a civilian school, was part of the Allied Mothers Force, which was still engaged in internal and international aid operations, resulting in her parents being away from home frequently. Sakura was grateful for them, even in moments like these, when she would forget what they’d given her, which sometimes occurred in a rash moment.
Unlike her fellow Team Seven members, Sakura was spared the pain of losing her family or her own people, a fate shared by Sasuke with the Uchiha and Naruto with the Uzumaki, who had lost Uzushiogakure a generation earlier. The more Sakura dwelt on it, the more she realized she could take on more because of that fact, even if living life as a shinobi would consistently be scarred with tragedy no matter where someone came from or how easy their life had been up to a point.
Sitting up in bed, wondering if some tea wouldn’t help ease her restless thoughts, she swung her legs over the edge and into a pair of slippers waiting on the floor before padding towards her door. Not bothering to turn on the lights, she was halfway down the stairs before she swore she saw a damnably familiar figure, tensing up before the silhouette rushed her, and Sakura raised her hands in useless self-defense. When nothing hit her, a barrage of pain from the remembered assault had her collapsing to one of the steps, gripping the railing until her knuckles blanched.
Wheezing shakily, Sakura gripped her chest with such force she was certain she’d crush her own rib cage.
C-Come on, Haruno! There’s nothing there! Sasuke-kun… isn’t here! she pleaded with herself, trying to force some calmness back into wobbly legs as the immense pressure gripping her chest gradually ebbed away.
Fleeing down the stairs as if another panic attack would take over her, Sakura hurriedly fixed herself a mug of tea and rushed back into her room as if the phantom from before was giving her a window of opportunity to escape it. Sakura sank into her desk seat, door shut and locked while her frazzled mind recomposed itself amid the panic.
While the tea steeped into a rich amber hue, Sakura’s attention drifted to a thick, leather-bound diary seeming to stare imploringly from one of the desk corners. Switching on an overhead lamp, it suddenly engrossed her, calming her.
Since the end of the war, Sakura had taken up diary-writing again as a means of venting her thoughts. As she’d been too swamped to keep it up once Tsunade had taken her on as a disciple, her free time had been spent devouring as many books on the medical sciences as she could and practicing everything Tsunade was teaching her, alongside the roster of missions she did in Sasuke’s absence. Flipping open the cover, she turned to an empty page and began writing.
Sakura wasn’t sure how long she’d taken to write that particularly long entry. Still, by the time she’d finished and returned to bed when she could barely write anymore, she woke up feeling surprisingly refreshed despite having lost an hour or so of sleep.
Maybe it didn’t matter that much, considering she’d had her first day off in months that particular day. That morning’s breakfast had been a little brighter than usual, unloading weeks’ worth of gossip and news on her parents who seemed to appreciate being so privy to their daughter's life. Sakura, afterward, offered to do the dishes while Kizashi returned to construction and Mebuki to the Allied Mothers Force’s meeting venue to continue with their duties. In the past, Sakura might have used the day to head to the library to engage in self-study or to the several public training dōjō to train, but last night’s period of indecisiveness had her thinking.
Just as Sakura had thrown on a winter coat over her sweater, chinos, and boots, the young woman found herself nearly tackled into the snow by a familiar blue-eyed blonde. “Well, look what we have here: the illustrious Captain of the Medic Corps prowling the streets of Konoha, but without her best friend, who also, coincidentally, has a day off.” Sakura laughed while Ino grinned puckishly.
“Never mind the fact that we’re part of the same branch of the Medic Corps that was given time off,” Sakura reminded her best friend pointedly as both young women linked their arms together, setting out on the street at a leisurely pace. At the same time, the sounds of construction accompanied their walk together.
“Yeah, yeah, details,” Ino sniffed with mock indignation before her fair features settled contentedly. Sakura was glad to see Ino in good spirits, despite the loss of her father three years prior. As if she’d read Sakura’s mind, that blue, blue gaze shifted towards her friend’s. “Hey, Sakura-chan, since Rinne Matsuri is coming up this Sunday, um… I was wondering if maybe you and your parents wanted to join us at the temple that night when they do the blessings for the departed.”
Though Sakura was a little shocked at being asked, it did remind her that the Rinne Festival was coming up. While the occasion itself had evolved into a happy gift-giving tradition where families were supposed to spend time together, the village itself had declared a temporary return to its traditional roots, given how recently the Fourth Shinobi World War had ended and how many lives had been lost and reconstruction efforts in the first several months had made honoring the dead impossible. While the Harunos weren’t exactly a family of esteem that would typically participate in a Yamanaka Clan tradition, she’d never let her best friend down. Especially when Inoichi’s death had still been so recent, it was when Ino needed her most.
“Hey, you know we will. I won’t let you go through it without me being there, promise,” Sakura said when she offered a pinkie to her friend, who joined hers while looking a little misty-eyed.
“Ugh, now my make-up’s going to run,” Ino lamented jokingly while swiping away a tear that built up in a shining eye. “Funny how we used to be at each other’s throats, but now, you’re one of the only people I want to be there for me for things like this.”
Escaping the cold, both girls sought refuge in a cozy, traditional-style tea house that caused Sakura to shiver in relief at how refreshingly warm it was, taking their boots off at the genkan and being loaned a pair of slippers, padding on the tatami mats where a waitress led them to a table, waiting to be served. Tea was a perfect idea, after all, and Ino was just the person Sakura felt she could confide in.
Sitting on folded legs on plush cushions, they sat across from each other at a low, darkly lacquered table while left to peruse the menus at their own leisure. A koi pond set inside a small, covered garden sheltered away from the cold, providing a restful air that made Sakura long for spring to finally arrive.
“So, what grand plan do you have in mind, huh, Sakura-chan? You’ve had something on your mind the second we started speaking,” Ino said while resting her chin on the cusp of her hand receptively.
Sakura sighed and set her menu down, deciding a finalized order could wait a little.
“I want to resume some training. That, and I think I want to go down a different path and let Shizune-senpai assume the role of Captain of the Medic Corps in my place.” It was a lot to consider, of which Sakura had no doubt, but she also knew that she wouldn’t be able to make a real difference in the world if she pigeonholed herself where she did.
A brief look of surprise crossed her features. “Why? I mean, I don’t think it’s a bad thing that you’re thinking about other things, but give up the position of Captain? It’s not an easy job to get, and the fact that you got in after Lady Fifth retired from that post is pretty incredible, Sakura-chan.”
At that, Sakura smiled wistfully. “That’s the thing, though, isn’t it? Tsunade-shisō revolutionized how med-nins operate, Ino-chan. She fought hard to ensure that people like us could make a difference in conflict and make sure that people would live to see another day. I don’t want to be Tsunade Number Two. I want to be Sakura Haruno, and I want to make a difference in a branch of medical science no one’s really considered before.”
“And you already have an idea of which one,” Ino supplied, nodding understandingly as her arms folded across the table.
“This isn’t the first time I’ve thought of this,” Sakura admitted, features stern with resolve. “You’ve probably seen it, too, but isn’t it kind of funny how we get child patients who complain about having issues, but they don’t have any disease or external wounds? You probably know a bit more than I do, but what I’m thinking about is psychology. I know right now, you can’t really get psychology without adding on ‘psychological warfare,’ but I think this is where I’m meant to make a change. To do something as drastic as Tsunade-shisō.”
“Look underneath the underneath, yeah,” Ino considered knowingly. Before pressing on, the waitress returned, and both girls ordered their teas and small meals. It was slowly approaching noon, as evidenced by the sunlight pouring into the little greenhouse the restaurant had. To Sakura, it felt like a burgeoning hope.
Once the waitress had affirmed their orders and gone off to fill them, Ino continued. “You know, it’s almost like your best friend isn’t from the clan that’s the foremost experts in all things relating to the mind,” she simpered with a mildly impish smile. Brightening at the thought of an idea, she leaned in. “In fact, one of our clan members, Santa Yamanaka, has been wanting to take on a potential student. Befriend him and you’ll probably get a shot at the Torture and Interrogation Force, too. Remember Ibiki Morino from the first Chūnin Exams we entered? I’d speak with him, too.”
Sakura couldn’t help but break out into a broad smile, taking her friend’s hands and clasping them jubilantly. “Ino, you’re a genius! I mean, I thought about going to Morino-san about this, but I didn’t think anyone in your clan would be interested.”
Ino puffed up a little smugly. “Why, you’re welcome, Sakura-chan. Besides, as long as you don’t ask about how to utilize our clan’s Hiden, I think he’ll be more than happy to take you under his wing. With things more peaceful than before, they’re probably bored out of their skulls and would jump for a chance to teach a thing or two to Lady Fifth’s own disciple. You’re quite popular, you know.”
Sakura blushed, smiling sheepishly, before waving off Ino’s claims. “Maybe, but then that just leaves someone to teach me genjutsu. Kakashi-sensei said I was originally a genjutsu-type, and maybe it’s not too late to try and utilize it again. Especially if I can use it for something good, like psychology. I learned some under Kurenai-sensei years ago, but I want to have another go at it again.”
“Oh, so is that why you want to train with Morino-san and Santa-san?”
Sakura nodded. “You said it yourself. Maybe where that information comes from is unsavory, but I feel like it’d be my best bet in a good place to start if I want and try and make this dream come true.”
Ino took a contemplative sip of her tea, sighing at the warmth. “What about your position as Captain? I’m guessing you’ll need to speak with Shizune-san about it.”
“Mhm. We have the same break times, so I think I’ll be able to bring it up with her then.”
“Sounds like you have a plan, then. Here’s to, um… you moving forward with your dreams,” Ino toasted as she brought up her tea mug in a mock toast, Sakura giggling as she clanked them together. Now, at least, she had more than enough faith in her ability to move forwards in this new period of life.
Spending the next few hours shopping, Sakura felt glad to have some time to spend with Ino that didn’t involve her job in the hospital or Ino’s occupation as part of the Konoha Barrier Team or Yamanaka Flowers. Though the air was biting and chilly, the festive cheer that accompanied the brighter parts of the Rinne Festival was infectious. Letting themselves splurge a little in the outdoor boutiques, their hard-earned money went towards a few new outfits, shoes, and accessories that were nothing like a pragmatic kunoichi should focus on getting, but Sakura allowed herself not to care. Working as hard as they did, both girls deserved to treat themselves every once in a while.
Dropping off her purchases at the still-empty Haruno house, Sakura had finally made way to the Sarutobi compound where their section of the village was well-maintained and festooned with holiday decorations, festive paper lanterns being strung up by some of the estate’s waitstaff that had Sakura smiling as she arrived through the brisk cold and was allowed passage by the gatekeeper before disappearing around back to the Sarutobi’s private dōjō where several younger members were being coached by Kurenai herself, working through taijutsu movesets the children emulated with varying degrees of progression. Upon sighting Sakura, she dismissed her students for the day as they all scattered eagerly away.
Upon being within the older woman’s proximity, Sakura bowed and smiled once Kurenai had done the same. Though the past handful of years had been undoubtedly difficult on her since Asuma’s death, with the support of the Sarutobi clan, she was one of them and able to retire as a kunoichi. To Sakura’s understanding, she trained the clan’s children and occasionally hired herself out as a private tutor, much like what Sakura had been searching for.
“Sakura-chan, please, come inside. The snow is beautiful but a little cold, don’t you think?”
The inner sanctums of the dōjō contained private study rooms, each occupied by a table, chairs, and bookcases stacked with books and scrolls on a range of subjects Sakura could only guess. Once seated, it felt comfortable to broach the topic Sakura intended. “Um—Kurenai-sensei, when I was younger, you took me on as a student once before. Obviously, Kakashi-sensei’s really in no position to teach me since he’s preparing as Tsunade-shisō’s successor, but—I suppose what I wanted to ask was if I could hire you to teach me advanced genjutsu, please.” Bowing her head sincerely, Kurenai smiled warmly in response.
“I’d love to. With everyone so busy with reparation efforts even Academy classes have been suspended with how much we need every able-bodied person in the village to help out. I’ve been doing what I can, in between raising Mirai.” Kurenai twined her hands together thoughtfully. “I know you’re busy at the hospital as Captain, too, so I understand I might not be able to train you as much as I’d like. However, retired or not, I’m still the village’s resident expert on genjutsu. You’ve certainly come to the right place to learn, Sakura-chan. Especially since it's something of an old hat for us.”
Sakura perked up hopefully as Kurenai continued. “You know my rates, right? The first lesson is free, and it includes an evaluation to assess your current level. In fact, since I just finished my last training session for the day, it means that we can do an evaluation right now, if you aren’t needed elsewhere.”
So… this was it? It was really happening? Although she still had Ibiki and Santa to speak to, she felt a sense of elation rise in her. Sucking in a calming breath, Sakura leaned forward eagerly. “I don’t have anywhere to be,” she replied a little too forcefully, blushing before reining herself in. “I mean, I actually do have a kind of… branch of techniques I could show you. You remember Inner Sakura, right?” At Kurenai’s apparent interest, Sakura resumed.
“I've advanced with her a lot since then.” Kurenai nodded, but otherwise didn’t interrupt. “There's a reason I need to learn more advanced genjutsu. I want to follow in my Shisō's footsteps, but to forge my own path. Inner Sakura, the genjutsu I do know... There's more I still have to learn, I know it.”
Kurenai unclasped her hands together once Sakura finished speaking, the younger slightly taken aback when the woman rose from her seat and moved to leave the room, all before touching Sakura’s shoulder just before coming to the door. Sakura’s heart began pounding in her chest when all she said in reply was, “Show me.”
As the brief moment of stupor languished, Kurenai wove the seals for the Shadow Clone Jutsu, summoning a single clone in a cloud of smoke. Sakura was so used to seeing Naruto do it that she sometimes forgot someone like Kurenai who was a Jōnin had to know it, too. On the glossy dōjō floors kept immaculately shiny, Sakura’s distorted reflection took on a battle stance while she shut her eyes and tapped into her Yin Release, spiritual energy thrumming through her like the whispers of the beyond.
“Okay.”
Kurenai’s clone only needed to be summoned twice throughout the course of the jutsu, as it had not relied on Inner Sakura recently. As Yin Release fueled her internal avatar to manifest in reality, she ran through every move she had: Almighty Sakura, Cha Barrage, Super Cha Barrage, Super Inner Sakura, Clone Combo, and Fairy Tale Get. Yet, it was with The Great Sakura and Twinkling Maiden’s Heart that the real genjutsu lay, huffing as the last of the illusion was dissolved and the battered shadow clone dissipated in a puff of smoke.
The Sarutobi was the one who helped her discover her ability with Inner Sakura years ago, after all.
Kurenai became thoughtful as she took out a small notepad from her rear pouch, scrawling something down in what Sakura belatedly realized was shorthand, wondering what the Jōnin thought of the several jutsu she’d just performed. Though she wouldn’t exactly say she was embarrassed, she had always felt a little self-conscious in showing others that Inner Sakura existed, even to the woman who'd helped develop her in the first place.
Once Kurenai finished writing what she intended to, she put the collapsible pen and notepad back inside her back pouch. A hand on her hip, Sakura stood up a little straighter to attention. “It's a little nostalgic, isn't it? Almost like when I took you and Hinata under my wing years ago. I can't say I'm against having you as a student again, Sakura-chan.”
“Hang on, you mean—you’ll take me on as a student?” Sakura gaped in awestruck disbelief, eyes practically shining.
Kurenai chuckled at Sakura’s girlish jubilation. “Yes. Now, do you have a schedule of your timetables for the next few weeks? Let’s go back inside where it’s warm and figure something out.”
“Y-Yes, Kurenai-sensei!”