Chapter Text
Luffy is the first to notice them. He’s perched on the prow of the ship, oblivious to the dangers of falling into the sea and drowning, even though it happened to him countless times already, when he sees the two men falling out of the sky. He curiously looks as they get closer and closer to the ship, and then realises that maybe he has to do something to keep those two random guys from cracking their heads open on his boat. He stretches out and the two bounce on his stomach like on a trampoline. They both look oddly familiar, but it’s only when they bounce off his skin and sit up on the boards of the ship that he recognises his nakamas. Already running up to Sanji and Zoro, he yells out to them ‘Sanji ! Zoro ! What are you two doing falling out of the sky ? Does it have something to do with some delicious meat you’re cooking for me ? » His screams eventually make the rest of his crew come out on the deck of the ship.
And that’s when everyone realises : there’s two pairs of sanji and zoro on this ship. Immediately Sanji, who’s still holding a pan from the kitchen throws a flying kick to his double, only to be blocked by a pair of blades. Zoro’s double blocked the attack, which only makes everyone else more suspicious, because only evil doubles of Sanji and Zoro would protect each other like that. The regular Zoro, who was enjoying a nap on the deck, and who’s pretty pissed at having been woken up so suddenly, comes at his double, blade swinging, only to be thrown hard against the gunwage by a flaming leg. Shocked at having been defeated so easily, he stares back at the cook’s double, only to notice some differences between this version and the blonde asshole he knows. The man’s shoulders are broader, his arms seem thicker, his jaw is in more of a square shape, and there are some lines crossing his face, deepening his brow. Most notably, his bang covers his left eye, revealing… a perfectly normal, deep blue right eye ! Does the shitty cook have absolutely no reason for his stupid hairstyle ?
Not about to let themselves be defeated in one hit, Sanji and Zoro run up to these strange doubles again, but the battle doesn't last long before they realise they’re terribly underpowered. The fight only stops when Luffy takes the doubles in his outstretched arms and forces them to sit on the other side of the boat. They all get the feeling the strange pair chose to let themselves be subdued though, and that they could easily take on their captain. The thought is a chilling one, and Sanji doesn’t lose time before going up to this shifty powerful double who isn’t even hiding the proper eye and yelling out ‘Who the hell are you supposed to be and what are you doing here ?! » As he yells out, he realises the other Zoro also really doesn’t look right, a large white scar covering his wide torso, another holding his left eye closed. Something is definitely wrong here.
« I’m you, you immature asshole! » That shuts the crew up. A bewildered Zoro is the first one to ask « What ? » His double answers, anger in his voice « We’re you idiots.From the future I assume. We’re 29 and no I have no idea how and why we got there but I swear we’re the real Zoro and Sanji. And really, after all the shit you’ve seen, is it really that hard to believe ? » Luffy interomps him by poking his scared eye, apparently fascinated. From the back of the crew, Robin says « well he’s got a point. We have seen weirder things »
One by one, the Strawhats begin to believe the two men fallen from the sky. Because really, what good reasons would they have to lie anyway ? And they do look like older versions of their friends. Zoro and Sanji still look bewildered by the whole thing but they start to pick up their jaws from the floor when questions start to fuse.
« How’ s the future ? » « What happened to your eye ? » « Did we do it ? »
« Am I pirate king ? » blurts out an exited Luffy. The time displaced swordsman and cook grin at their young captain. « Of course » answers Sanji, while Zoro says « never had a moment of doubt captain ». Luffy laughs, bouncing on his heels and holding his hat. He holds his hands to the two men still sitting on the floor and pulls them into a big bone crushing hug. After that, the young Sanji and Zoro seem to relax a bit around these strange mirror versions of themselves. Zoro asks about the scars, and his future self tells him about Mihawk. He asks, almost fearful, if he became the greatest swordsman, and the older man puts his hand on his shoulder, and tells him that yes, he did, a proud grin spreading on his cheek. At the same time, Sanji asks about All Blue, and his older self tells him about the marvelous sea and all its fishes, tells him about the restaurant he runs.
It’s Nami who asks the two men if they know how they got here, in this time. The question seems to immediately annoy Sanji, who angrily answers “Well a fucking hole appeared in our kitchen and what does this stupid asshole do when he sees a huge hole that couldn’t possibly exist appear out of thin air? He jumps in of course! So I followed him because I’m not about to let this bastard die or have the greatest adventure of his life without me, and then we were falling free. Thank god monkey boy over here caught us or we would be feeding the fish.” The younger Sanji is reeling from seeing his older self talk in such an angry tone of voice to the perfect Nami, and it takes him a while to notice something strange in the older man’s speech. Their doubles are arguing “What, did you think you saw sake in there so you had to jump in without even telling me about it?” when he blurts out “Our kitchen?” The older men stop in the middle of angrily pointing and shouting at each other to stare at the 19 year old.
But then Sanji notice the ring. A plain silver ring on his older self ring finger. And the questions fuse out again. Does he settle down with the loveliest woman ever ? How beautiful is she? What’s her name? Does he know her already? The younger chef is so happy at the prospect he might burst. For a romantic sap like him, having the confirmation of a wedding in his future is such great news ! But as he’s already crowding the older man with questions about his perfect bride, heart in his eyes, he notices the blush on his future self cheeks, the looks thrown to the older swordsman, who is also blushing ? His look drops to the other man’s hand, that’s decked with an identical ring. His heart drops in his chest. “Our kitchen”. The way older Zoro’s blades came up to block his kick, and how his older self paired Zoro’s attack, as natural and automatic as breathing. A yell from the marimo is all it takes to confirm he too noticed the rings and their, oh so horrifying implications. The older men, who were enjoying telling tales of their successes, now look like they’d rather be anywhere else. Sanj is rubbing his neck, and Zoro is looking at the sky, the floor, his shoulder, anywhere but at their younger selves.
At younger Sanji’s side, Zoro appears to be as appealed as him, and blurts out at his future self : « Did you.. . with.. .him ? » The older swordsman smiles apologactly and waves his ringed up hand. « It sort of just...happened yeah. » 19 year old Sanji doesn’t think he can go lower than that but his need to retch is increased by tenfolds when he hears a chuckle that sounds so much like his, followed by his future self saying « Yeah, that’s a good way to put it I guess ». His voice is dripping with so much affection and love, and when the younger chef raises his head he sees the look of pure adoration the older men are sharing and oh god, he can’t take this anymore.
At the same time, he hears Zoro asserting he’s gonna go puke real quick and, yeah, he’s pretty sure he could join him right now. They do both end up bent over the side of the ship, while the rest of the crew crowds over the older pair, asking them endless questions about their common future. The worst thing about this, well, one of the worst thing at least, Sanji thinks as he wipes the side of his mouth, is that no one in the rest of the crew seem surprised by this absolutely ridiculous turn of events. “Yohoho, how long have you been married?” asks Brook, before singing a sickening love ballade celebrating the pair’s answer of “5 years”. 5 years. God that’s so close. What the fuck. Sanji would puke again but his stomach is empty, so he just clutches his arm and avoids looking at the swordsman.
They learn Luffy is the one who officiated (or will officiate?) the ceremony. The traitor! Apparently it was in the middle of a deadly fight? God, and he’s repeating himself, but what the fuck. Luffy is way too happy to learn he gets to wed his friends, jumping all over the ship with glee. “And is there cake? Are you the one who baked it Sanji?”
“Well there was cake but I wasn’t the one to make it and we didn’t really have time to eat it. It was kind of a life or death situation and it just...” he looks at Zoro with such disgusting affection Sanji think he can puke with nothing in his stomach anyway “seemed like it might be the last moment we could.Also we were all getting our asses kicked” But Luffy has already tuned him out, his mind filled with the prospect of food. He jumps up to the younger Sanji “Sanji! Can you make wedding cake please please please” Sanji kicks him away but there isn’t any strength behind it. He feels like he needs a break from the craziness, and something to do with his hands if he doesn’t want to go absolutely crazy so he says sure. A cake, why not, probably not a wedding cake but sure. “Yes a wedding cake! With 6 stages and little figures at the top but the edible kind and...” Sanji kicks him again, harder this time “Not a wedding cake you fucking idiot!” He walks furiously to his kitchen, trying not to feel the weight of Zoro’s stare on his back.
He’s managed to calm himself down a little, and is burying his hands in a huge ball of dough, when he hears someone coming in. His own voice asks him if he needs any help. That’s never gonna stop being creepy. He stills says ok, because if there’s someone he trusts to not mess up in his kitchen, its himself. “So you’re not making a wedding cake uh?” Sanji feels himself blushing, and he doesn’t really understand why.
“God! No! First of all we don’t have the right ingredients for a wedding cake and secondly I’m just… I’m just not about to make a wedding cake!”
“Alright alright” answers his older self, a smile in his voice. He quickly gets himself busy, and they work together in harmony, flying around in the kitchen. It’s actually kind of amazing to see this other him work. There’s such ease to his movements, everything flows so well together, and Sanji stares at the other man’s hands, admiring the way they transform the ingredients. Staring at the man’s hands sadly means he catches the ring shining in the light, and he’s all disturbed again. What in the fuck. He tried to not think about it but the reality of it comes crashing down on him. Married. He’s married in the future. But not to anyone, not to a beautiful woman he can cook for every day and cover in presents, not to an enigmatic stranger he has yet to meet. He’s married to the fucking marimo. Out of all the people it could have ever been. Why him?
He realises he must have said that last sentence out loud because his own face is staring at him, a smile on his lips. Sanji looks at this older version of himself, noticing the small but present differences, the way all his baby fat disappeared, the beard that covers up his whole lower face, the shallow wrinkles on his forehead and around his mouth. The strangest thing about this older him might be the slow smile that almost never leaves his face, the way he carries himself with such ease, the fact he seems to fit perfectly in his own skin. His shoulder tense, Sanji thinks this can’t possibly be his future. He can’t imagine himself ever feeling this at ease.
“Why him?” asks the other man, his head loosely propped on his hand “That’s a loaded question. I think you’re probably not really ready for the answers. I know it took me way too long to get it. But I mean, it just seems obvious now, like there wasn’t really any other way it could go.” The younger chef looks at him with disbelief, almost anger, and his voice is strained when he says “That’s not really an answer.”
“Oh alright” says the other him, standing up straighter, burying his hands in his pocket and bringing out a cigarette he lights up with a flick of the wrist “I mean I can tell you it’s because he’s always there for us, because he can take out everything we dish out and respond in kind, because when you’ll think he’s dead you’ll find not a single thing makes sense anymore. I can tell you it’s in his determination, the look he gets when he actually thinks about something important, because yes he thinks sometimes. I can tell you its how I can rest on him and know he’ll never let me fall. I can tell you we’ve never been happier than when we’re him. I can tell you all that but come on, I know you won’t really get it. You’re not there yet, and this is all really big. Your life gets really big.” He takes a long drag of his cigarette after that, looking at his younger self with concern, wondering if he said too much, or maybe not enough.
The 19 year old Sanji, (god did he ever really look so vulnerable, so young) lets go of a breath he didn’t realise he was holding. The older man is right. He doesn’t get it, and frankly, he really doesn’t want to. He feels betrayed by this version of himself. He can’t recognise himself in this relaxed smile, and honestly he’s so jealous he might burst. He’s also deeply scared by how many things resonated with him in that disgusting lovey dovey monologue. He thinks about the trust he has in Zoro during battle, thinks about how he knows the other man would lay down his life for any of his friends, and at the same time he thinks about the rings on the older pair’s hands and the association of thoughts make a shiver run through his spine.
“So what” he says, voice unsteady, busying himself with the dough again “we just get settled with the stupidest caveman ever, and consider it the happiest day of our life? What about, what about women though? How is this how it ends, how the fuck is HE my true love, god what the fuck” A hand on his shoulder interrupts his panicked ranting.
“This part cannot be that much of a surprise" the other man says, a curly eyebrow rising. "I remember being 19 you know. You can lie to the others and you can lie to yourself but well, I guess you can’t lie to the older version of yourself, who’s been there before. He’s hot, and it’s ok that you noticed.” He gets back to pouring chocolate on the first layer of the cake, as the younger cook is staring at him with pure horror in his eyes, a red flush spreading over his cheeks.
“We still like women, if that’s what’s so terrifying to you. Everyone’s very hot, and I think you already realised that.”
“Ok and this is where we’re stopping this discussion!” the younger sanji blurts out, raising his hands. This feels too much like the weirdest birds and the bees conversation and he really doesn’t need that right now.
They both silently finish the preparation before putting the cake in the oven. Sanji wipes his hands on his pants and leaves the kitchen. He figures he can leave his older self with the dishes, considering the trauma he just experienced. As he leaves, he sees the older Zoro walk away from the younger one and stepping into the kitchen. He hurries the fuck out of there when he hears giggles, definitely not needing to hear whatever the two of them are doing in there. He also tries to ignore the way older Zoro walks around shirtless, his older self’s words echoing in his head. What the fuck, no, he’s not going to start thinking about how hot zoro is or whatever. “Lying to himself” whatever the fuck. He furiously fumbles in his pockets for a smoke and lights it while looking at the sunset, trying to calm himself down.
Sanji is trying really hard to not have a sexuallity crisis right here and now, and is falling even harder at it. He takes a long drag and hopes he isn’t as red as he feels. Ok so maybe his older self is right, and he has maybe possibly sometimes noticed the swordsman’s muscles and thought to himself he didn’t look half bad. But you know, in a aesthetic way! Nothing gay about appreciating a friend’s forearms. He shakes his head, and hears Zoro coming up to him and leaning down on the side of the boat. They stare at the sun going down in the sea and don’t look at each other. Sanji is shocked the other man even went to him, but really, the swordsman isn’t the type to back down from anything, so this isn’t that much of a surprise. Still, the cook wishes he wasn’t there.
“Weird fucking day uh?” finally says the swordsman. Sanji laughs weakly at that. “Yeah” After another small silence, he asks “Did you talk to yourself too?”
“Yeah. Weird as fuck to look at yourself in the eyes, well the eye I guess. But he’s strong at least, can’t reproach him that.”
“Wait, you guys fought?”
“Don’t know if we can call it a fight. He properly kicked my ass”.
Sanji turns to actually look at the mosshead and wow yeah, he looks like shit, bumps and shallow scars all over his face and body.
“You look like shit.”
Zoro punches him but there’s no real heat behind the attack, and Sanji doesn’t even retaliate. They keep staring at the sea in a palatable silence, when they hear their own voices from behind on the ship. They turn around to see their older selves getting out of the kitchen, holding hands. Zoro’s hair is ruffled and Sanji’s shirt is untucked and halfway unbuttoned. Sanji tries very very hard to not think about the implications of that and fails even harder. Images of intertwined bodies propped up on the table, on his kitchen counter, fill his mind, making a shiver run through his spine. He tells himself the heat he's feeling is from disgust only (that’s where they eat, for crying out loud), and he almost convinces himself of it.They go to sit on the rail of the ship, and all the way they’re laughing and smiling at each other. The younger pair is absolutely horrified. Older Zoro is bringing a hand to Older Sanji and pushes out a strand of hair out of his face, a calm smile on. It’s too much. It’s like witnessing your drunk parents flirting, only ten times worse. Younger Zoro is the one to break the awkward silence.
“This is so fucking weird.”
“Yeah...” answers Sanji “ but they do look happy.”
He doesn’t know why he says that, and he instantly regrets it. They look away from both each other and their older tragically happier selves. Thankfully, they don’t have long to wait long until older Sanji detaches himself from his husband and yells out that dinner is ready.