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Best Night Of My Life

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Alphys couldn’t be happier. She was in Undyne’s house, snuggling with her girlfriend on the couch. The house was dark, with most of the light coming from the TV, which was playing Mew Mew Kissy Cutie. Undyne had her arm around Alphys, and was watching the anime contently. They had both seen the show several times, but it was the only show that could make the moment as perfect as this. Alphys snuggled herself closer to Undyne. This was going to be the best night of her life.

“I love you,” Alphys said softly while looking up at her girlfriend.

Undyne looked back down at her, with her one eye full of affection and tenderness. “I love you too.”

“I-I think I’m ready.”

She looked a bit excited and hesitant at the same time. “Are you sure?”

Alphys nodded. “There is no one that I rather be with than you. I want to give you all that I can give. And I trust you with all of my heart.”

Undyne scooted an inch away from her and brought her arm back down to her side. “I feel the same way.” She bounced a bit with excitement. “I have to say that I’ve always been waiting for this, and tonight just feels so right. But if you ever feel like you want to slow things down or stop, you let me know. I don’t ever want to do something that you don’t like.”

“Of course,” Alphys replied. She then squinted her eyes and did her best to make a smirk. “Let’s get on with it then.”

Alphys grabbed Undyne’s shoulders, and then threw herself back into the couch so that Undyne was laying on top of her. Undyne gasped at the sudden action, but then smiled as the two monsters’ faces grew closer and closer. 

“You are so sexy, not even Hotland is hot enough for you,” Alphys whispered. 

Undyne grabbed her arms tenderly. “You are the only mew mew that I wanna kissy, cutie.”

Alphys giggled. “All I wanna do is swim in your sea.”

“Well,” she said as she began to rub her hands along Alphys’ body, “Anchors away then. It’s time that we set sail.”

“I ship it.”

Undyne moved herself to take off her tank top while Alphys fidgeted with her dress. However, before any clothes could come off, there was a loud crash from the window. 


Alphys looked behind her and shrieked. The window was broken, and now the floor was littered with shards of glass, with Papyrus laying flat on his back among the mess. None of those things were the reason why Alphys had screamed. That had happened because Papyrus was naked.

“FUCKING SHIT, PAPYRUS!” Undyne threw both of her hands up to cover her eye. 

Alphys stared at her girlfriend, trying to get what she had just seen out of her head. “Wh-what are you doing, Papyrus?” she asked, not daring to look behind her ever again. 

“That’s a very good question,” Papyrus’ voice acknowledged from behind, “You see, I think I was japed again by those troubling teenagers. One of them had stolen my scarf, so I chased them all the way to Waterfall. Just when I was in reach to get my scarf back, they all jumped out of the way of this giant puddle of mud! I was so busy chasing them that I didn’t realize what I was running into. When I fell, the teenagers laughed and ran away, but they were kind enough to leave my scarf behind! Unfortunately, the mud was very strong and sticky, so I was having a hard time trying to get out. After a while of struggling, I found out that it was easier to move when I had my clothes off! So, being the determined monster that I am, I eventually broke free from that evil mud trap. But there is no way that I’m getting those clothes back. But, like I said, I have my scarf! And that’s all that really matters. Look!”

“Oh, god no.” Undyne said, still covering her eye.

“We’ll take your word for it, Papyrus.” Alphys said as she continued to look forward. 

“Anyway, after I cleaned myself in the river, I realized that I did not want to walk all the way back home without any clothes on, other than my scarf of course. I may not look like it, but I could easily get sick from wearing nothing in the snow! So, I decided to come here and get some clothes from Undyne! I figured that since it was night that you would be sleeping, so I would have to come through your window. I guess I thought your window was open, so I just jumped through without thinking. But… it was not open. And it hurt a lot, actually.”

“So,” Undyne said bitterly, “If I was sleeping, what were you planning to do?”

“I would wake you up and ask for clothes, of course!”

“So I would wake up to find you standing naked over my bed?”

“Well… If you put it that way…”

“God damn it, Papyrus.”

“Undyne,” Alphys scooted to her and pulled her hands down, so that Undyne could look into her eyes. “He was just bullied by some horrible monsters, and then trapped in a pool of mud. If he went back to Snowdin without any clothes, he may not have made it! What else could he have done?”

Undyne sighed. “I’m sorry, Pap,” she finally said. “It’s just that you kind of interrupted something important between Alphys and I, that’s all.”

“Oh my god!” Papyrus uttered. “I am so sorry! I should have tried the door, I should have just waited outside until morning-”

“Papyrus, you’re fine,” Undyne cut in. The couple was still staring into each other’s eyes, not daring to look anywhere else. “Just go into my room as soon as possible. You can wear anything you want, as long as it’s not my armor.”

Alphys winced as she heard the crunching of glass and a few whimpers from the skeleton. She then heard as he walked past the couple and into Undyne’s room, shutting the door behind him. 

Undyne moaned frustratedly as she looked at the mess that Papyrus had created. “Next time that window breaks, I’m not even going to care!”

“That’s the spirit!” Alphys exclaimed as she brought a broom and a dust pan. 

The couple quickly cleaned up the mess before Papyrus returned from Undyne’s room. He was wearing one of Undyne’s oversized sweaters, which covered him down to reach somewhere on his thighs. He wasn’t wearing the scarf, but was clutching it to himself closely as if it were a small blanket. His face looked as if he was in pain, and he winced with every step he took. 

“Are you not wearing anything under that sweater?” Undyne asked with her hands on her hips.

Papyrus shook his head. “I would wear something on my legs, but they are currently covered in glass shards, so, I think I’m just gonna head home-”

“Don’t you dare,” Undyne said as she pushed him towards the kitchen. “You may have ruined our night, but we are gladly going to help you anyway. I cannot feel happy until you are no longer in pain.”

“Well, if it makes you happy,” Papyrus surrendered to Undyne as she moved him into the kitchen. Alphys couldn’t help but smile as she followed. She loved how much Undyne cared about her friends. 

Undyne lifted the skeleton and easily sat him down on the counter. She then began going through the cabinets and getting supplies. Papyrus hummed to himself softly as he fidgeted with his scarf.

“Is there anything I c-can do?” Alphys asked her girlfriend. 

“Just get ready to pull out glass shards with these tweezers,” Undyne handed her a pair of tweezers as she began to soak a washcloth in the sink. “I can’t see very well with this eye, so you’re going to be the one who removes the shards.”

“Ok,” Alphys took a deep breath. Hopefully it would be easy enough. Alphys had done similar things when working on Mettaton in the past. 

When Undyne had everything that she needed, Alphys lowered herself and began to pick at the few pieces of glass that were down by Papyrus’ ankles. He squirmed a few times, but other than that he was doing a really good job keeping still. 

“You’re doing great, Papyrus,” Alphys acknowledged as she continued to pull out pieces of glass. 

“Thank-HAH!” the skeleton gasped when Alphys removed a sizeable shard.

“It’s ok,” Undyne said soothingly as she sat next to Papyrus on the counter. She was rubbing his back with one hand while holding his hand gently with the other. Alphys couldn’t help but wonder if Undyne ever wanted to have kids. That probably wasn’t a subject that needed to come up soon. As fierce as Undyne was, it was incredible how gentle she could be.

When Alphys finished, Undyne hopped down from the counter and washed the skeleton’s legs with some soap and the soaking washcloth. “Thank you so much,” Papyrus said as Alphys brought over a towel to dry his legs. “I couldn’t ask for better friends.”

“Oh, please,” Undyne scoffed, “You’re the one who’s the best friend ever. Although, you could stop breaking my window.”

“Nyeh, sorry about that,” Papyrus blushed as he rubbed the back of his head.

Undyne looked over at the clock. “It’s pretty late,” she commented. “Why don’t you just spend the night here?”

Papyrus brought his hands up to his cheeks. “R-really? Wowie! It’ll be like a sleepover!”

“Yeah,” Undyne smiled, “Like a sleepover.”

“Oh! But can someone please call Sans about this? He’s probably worried sick already!” 

“Sure thing,” she said as she grabbed her phone off of the kitchen table. While she dialed for Sans, Alphys took Papyrus’ hand and led him back to the couch. The TV was still playing.

“H-have you seen this show?” Alphys asked eagerly. 

Papyrus squinted at the TV. “No, I don’t think I have.”

“O-oh. Well, it’s called Mew Mew Kissy Cutie, and it’s m-my favorite show. It’s r-really good.”

“Well, of course it’s really good! It is your favorite show, after all!”

Alphys beamed while she watched the TV. She didn’t understand how anyone had the guts to upset such a sweet monster. 

After a few seconds of watching, Papyrus spoke, “So, what were you and Undyne doing before I so rudely interrupted?”

She felt her cheeks blush. “U-um, w-well, I t-told Undyne that... that I love her.”

Papyrus once again brought his hands up to his cheeks as he gasped and squealed.

“A-and Undyne told m-me that she loved me t-too.”

“Oh my god,” he said with awe. When Alphys looked at him he had so much emotion in his face that she thought would be impossible for a skeleton to have. “You two are the greatest couple to ever exist! I’m so lucky just to know about it!”

Alphys laughed. “I d-don’t think it’s that special…”

“But it is that special! You and Undyne are just growing into the best duo a couple could hope for! And I’m blessed to be able to watch the whole thing!”

The whole thing? Alphys wanted to both laugh and cringe from the thought. “Yeah,” she finally said as she turned back to the TV. “I guess we are special.”

It actually took a while before Undyne returned from the kitchen. “Well, Sans isn’t happy at all about what happened to Papyrus, but he’s thankful for what we’re doing so…” Undyne ended her sentence with a shrug. “To be frank, I’m pretty pissed off with those teenagers as well. As soon as I meet them, their faces are going to get ripped off.”

Alphys looked over at Papyrus, and realized that he had fallen asleep. He was leaned back into the couch, with his eye sockets closed and his mouth partly open. She swore that she heard him make a soft little ‘nyeh’ in his sleep. 

“He’s so adorable when he’s sleeping,” Alphys commented. 

“Yeah,” Undyne agreed, “Let’s fuck him.”


“I’m just kidding!”

“That’s not even remotely funny.”

“I know, it’s not.” Undyne said even though she was smiling. The couple then grabbed a pillow and a blanket and then laid Papyrus along the couch with his head on the pillow and then tucked him in with the blanket. “Nailed it,” she whispered as they looked down at the sleeping skeleton. 

“You know,” Alphys said quietly as she took Undyne’s hand. “We can still continue what we started in your bedroom.”

Undyne looked back at her. “Really? You still feel up to it after all of what just happened?”

“Oh, Undyne,” she squeezed her hand more tightly. “Everything about tonight has been perfect, because it’s been spent with you. I love you with all my heart, but somehow seeing you take care of our friend has made me love you more.” She then began leading her girlfriend to the bedroom. “This is the best night of my life, and it’s gonna end perfectly.”