Chapter Text
Evie looked up at her room's ceiling and thought about what was coming any day now. Jacob had enchanted her ceiling to show constellations when she was three years old. They changed every day, and years ago, she had sat on the plush rugs on the floor of her room and tried to name every one of them. Lepus, Crux, Cassiopeia. There was something thrilling about finding the patterns and knowing their names.
In reality, she couldn't recall a moment in time when she ever looked up to the ceiling of her room and didn't see stars, but her father assured her that Jacob bewitched it himself. Evie has photographs of that day, of him pointing excitedly at Serpens while she repeats the word with all the awe in her three year old heart, of her reaching out to the sky believing that she could grab a star. The photographs smile and point with bright eyes whenever she takes them out. On days when she feels particularly down she'll take one out and wave at the little girl tugging on her brother's shirt.
Be that as it may, today was not a day to be down.
A knock on the door is the only warning she gets before Wonry, her house elf, walks in, "Mistress says Wonry to tell Miss Evanthia is wake up time", he says cheerfully. And Evie rolls her eyes at her government name, "will it kill you to call me Evie?"
"Miss Evanthia can't asks those things of Wonry. Wonry can't pos'bly call Miss Evanthia Evie. Only wizards call Miss Evanthia Evie", he breathes out all at once, pausing only when Evie sits up and holds a hand up to stop his rant. "How about... Eva?", she asks Wonky, she says slowly. Now that they are eye-level, she feels once again the small child in those photographs. And here is the same house elf that took the picture.
Wonry looks ready to argue, but suddenly stops when he sees her smiling, that old twinkly, bright-eyed smile he hadn't seen in months, and just says, "Okay, Miss Evan- Wonry means Miss Eva". Wonry doesn't say it but he's glad that Evie is smiling like that today. If any day. She had that same "I know I'm about to win" look about her that she used to wear before tricking Jacob into stealing the candy hidden in the kitchen with her, as if he needed tricking for something like that.
Ever since Jacob disappeared, it's like a curtain came down and the whole family put away the pieces of themselves that had been interlaced with him. For Evie, it was that smile.
Instead of all this, he says, "What will Miss Eva do today?" It was the weekend after all, so her private tutors wouldn't be coming for lessons.
"We haven't gotten any special mail for me?", Evie asks Wonry who just tilts his head, as if trying to understand what she constitutes as special mail. "I meant if there's been a letter from Hogwarts", surely she'd be getting her letter soon.
Eager to complete his first task from Miss Eva today, Wonry takes the question as an order, "Wonry will check if there is mail for Miss Evanth- Wonry means Miss Eva", he corrects himself quickly and with a pop disappears. "I guess that is a no", Evie speaks into the empty room already used to his oddities.
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Sitting on the breakfast table, Evie sits with only her younger sister, Grace, who is entirely transfixed on cutting through her syrup-soaked pancakes with only her spoon.
Wonry pops back, "Sorry Miss Eva, Wonry did not means to take so long. But the owls wanted s'a treat before releasing mails and then Mistress calls Wonry to go pick up package at Diagon Alley". Out of breath, and slowly recovering, Wonry hands the mail to Eva.
"You'd think she'd send Heely since that's her house elf. But alas, Genevieve has to get you to run her errands", voice dripped in sarcasm as she goes through the house mail. He was probably too focused on getting the mail that he didn't check the senders, Evie thought, amused as Wonky peered over her shoulder.
Here it is, addressed to Evanthia Rosier. When she opens the letter, she's not even reading it. The excitement running through her bloodstream, I can finally find out where he is, she catches herself thinking before burying that thought and turning to Wonry and telling him to call Father and tell him that she got into Hogwarts.
"What's Hogwarts?", Grace says, popping into the conversation, looking excited that Evie is excited, who then tells her.
"I am going to Hogwarts too", Grace declares, with the mighty conviction only a five year old can have, and Evie smiles knowingly. "Of course you'll go", she agrees diplomatically with Grace, watching her amber eyes sparkle, then says plainly, "when you're eleven".
For a flicker of moment, Grace's face falls. "What?", exclaimed Grace, in pure indignation.
"Those are the rules, Gracie. You'll have to wait until then", shrugs sympathetically. It felt great to be on the other side of those words.
After years of hearing about Hogwarts, nothing matched the exhilaration of seeing her name on that letter. Heely pops into the room, and exclaims, "Congradulations Miss Evanthia. Mistress is already s'a plan a party for you".
Evie thought she shouldn't even bother trying to get an Eva out of Heely, she'd probably burst into tears.
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At the congratulations party, Evie greeted guests in the main hall. People who she hadn't seen since her birthday party last year, while her mother floated in the midst of all the chatter, the social butterfly she was. Evie wondered how much of this was for her and how much was to remind the social circles that Jacob is not the only Rosier child. Despite that, Grace was not allowed to engage in the festivities and was relegated to the tots area in the sitting room.
After complaining to her mother for two hours over all the unfairness in the world, Grace then found that she had to wear a daisy white dress and the chaos erupted. All the while Evie just laughed. She laughed as their mother decided that she had to go with a periwinkle dress because it brought out the blue in her eyes. She laughed as Grace stomped her feet over which patron saint had forsakened her today.
It was all because Genevieve wanted them to give homage to Crius's Hogwarts house, Ravenclaw. And Evie laughed again, certain that since her mother was going to wear orange it was why it couldn't be her.
Now her father, well. Crius was many things. If anyone had to describe him, you'd say Crius Rosier looked cold. Pale skin, straight white hair, and sharp blue eyes that missed nothing. While Genevieve was almost the exact opposite. On the worst days, when the weight of Jacob's disappearance hung under the tongue of every word they shared and everything felt so manufactured that she just wanted to scream, Evie wondered why anyone would ever want to have her parents.
Genevieve believed in being the centre of attention at your party and thought that Evie should be at the heart of the festivities. So, she shook hands, smiled, made small talk, greeted everyone, and made sure to always be where people could see her.
In reality, she had to do very little to make herself stand out. Evie was Rosier blue eyes. She was white hair, bordering on silver, with deeply tan skin. Jacob had been hazel eyes, shifting from brown to green. Not the time to think about him.
"How are you enjoying the party?", she asked Mrs. Carrow, not missing a beat as she smiled politely. Acmentos Carrow was a wight of a woman, but her tongue was a dagger that she had sharpened deadly through the course of her life. She was ginger hair and a sallow complexion, standing at no more than 5 feet and one and a half. But when Acmentos saw the Rosier girl who was usually knee-deep in some debate about whatever tomfoolery was happening at the Ministry that week, she saw loss. Not apparent like isolation or reclusive behaviour. Just a slight dimness in her eyes. A vacancy of sorts.
That was something that Acmentos knew plenty about. The Carrows were hit by many a tragedy after the war. Losing members to death and imprisonment. Her only sister among the lost. Yes, Acmentos knew loss very well.
So, after their conversation, if Mrs. Carrow spent the night shooting glares at anyone who even uttered the name Jacob in the vicinity of the young Miss Rosier, it may be merely coincidental.
While at the centre of the party, sipping slowly the drink in her hand stood the celebrated girl. Who instead of her very missing brother, had decided to think about the one sibling she had near. Grace. Evie thought Grace was golden.
When she looked at Grace, who always apologised when she was wrong. Grace who Evie found outside her bedroom door in the hallway the night she understood that Evie would be going away to Hogwarts but didn't go inside because she didn't want to bother her. Grace who wore her heart on her sleeve. Evie couldn't help but think that if her parents could make someone like that, then maybe there was hope for the rest of them.
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A month later, Evie trails behind her mother as she ticks off items from the school shopping list. Genevieve was having the time of her life getting everything in order, talking to friends and acquaintances that they stumbled upon at Diagon Alley, and in the midst of all the excitement, Evie met Rowan Khanna. Bookish and earnest Rowan.
It only takes Genevieve two minutes to figure out who Rowan's parents are, and then she invites her along with them, which Rowan seems unable to not accept. "She decided that we were all going shopping, I don't think there was much you could've done to get out of it. Trust me, I've tried everything", Evie tells Rowan, and all the nervous energy in Khanna seems to gear up.
"Relax, Mother can be a bit much but at most you're just going to end up with a new hat or something else entirely vain and unnecessary", Evie explained calmly as they walked into Ollivanders. "I should probably get my parents, so they give me some sickles, or a galleon or two. Wands should be on the pricier side of the expenses list, right? I don't know why I'm asking, of course I know. My parents own a wood farm, a lot of the wood is used to make wands. I'm talking too much, okay, I'll stop. Just, hold on. You did know right, your mum just went in, and I assumed you knew-"
"Rowan, breathe. In and out. Easy", Evie was patting Rowan's back and noticed that they had almost lost Genevieve in the sea of customers before them. So, pulling Rowan along, they ended up testing wands to find the one for them. For Rowan, it was simple, two tries and voilà. But of course, as the fates would have it, nothing is ever that simple for Evie. So, when she tries wand after wand, all kinds of weird shit decides to happen, and an unfamiliar sense of dread starts creeping in.
Until Ollivander says, "tricky one, just like her brother", before going to look for other boxes of wands to test, "I still remember when he came in perhaps a decade ago. 12 inches, Blackthorn, dragon heartstring core, flexible. It took about twenty tries to find his wand". As Evie takes out a new wand to test, she misses the shadow that crosses his face. "That sounds like a very good wand, Mister Ollivander", Rowan says, and for once, Genevieve is just sitting at one side of the room with a dreamy look on her face and not including herself in the conversation.
"Very - quite powerful wand", he said dolefully.
More chaos follows as Evie tries another wand, "how is it just getting worse", she mutters to herself hotly. Yes, a tricky one she is, Ollivander decides as he takes out three more boxes from the very back of the store.
"What happened with young Mister Rosier must have had an impact on you", the change in conversation leaves Evie dazed for a moment. Enough for Genevieve to abruptly add in, "isn't that too dreary a topic for a summer afternoon?" her tone light but the message clear, drop it. A silent battle of wills between Ollivander and her, only visible in their eyes.
Evie knew her mother would not let anyone force her into having this conversation, but she still chose to answer, "I was angry, at first, but when that faded I just felt... I felt determined, to know. Whatever there is to know. Whatever knowing may lead to". This breaks the stare-off, Ollivander turns to look at the young girl before him in interest.
It was the first time she had said it aloud. Genevieve's face hadn't changed from its regal calm, but her eyes had gone softer, and Evie never noticed as she gripped her gloved hands so she wouldn't reach out.
Ironically, only Rowan was confused as to who they were all talking about and decided to stay out of the talk for that reason. "Well, then. I think I have the wand for you", he reaches to the third wand box and says, "if you please".
That was it. That was her wand. No exploding boxes or paper flying everywhere. No out of sorts sparks, this one was just right.
Genevieve covers the bills and steers them both towards Madam Malkin's. Rowan is left gaping at seeing how she waves off any attempt to arrange to pay back the costs. "It's no problem at all, dear", Mrs. Rosier smiles as she ticks off another item from the list.
Heading out, Evie turns around and looks at Ollivander one last time. He's once again behind his counter and winks.
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The day had finally arrived. She was going to Hogwarts. Grace had bags under her eyes and looked oh so pale, but she was refusing to lose any moment with Evie while she was still there. She had been tricked out of coming along on the Diagon Alley shopping trip, but she was five and getting wiser.
"I'll write you, alright? You'll get tired of reading my letters. Plus you'll finally get a chance to improve your calligraphy. It's absolutely horrid", Evie offered reassurance, teasingly. A teary-eyed little sister looking up at her, "will you really?"
"Every chance that I get".
Crius and Genevieve stood quietly with the trolley on the platform. In the crowds of people, you couldn't see him gripping it as Evie hugged Grace after she had flung herself at her older sister. Please, Merlin. Hecate, anyone. Just please.
Her mother memorizes her face into her memory, the smile she has on, the bustling energy she's exuding. The strand of hair tucked behind her left ear.
Genevieve kisses her on the hair and says, "write me, okay darling?" Which she had done to Jacob too, once upon a time. So, so long ago that it felt like a lifetime.
But as her heart squeezes, she just hopes that this time her child will be returned to her. And she pushes away what Evie said at Ollivanders. She'll look, her heart replies to all her worries.
And Genevieve wonders if she can take another heartbreak. Because she isn't sure there's a version of this story where Evie doesn't go after him. Whatever there is of him.
"Look out for my care package, Evie", Crius tells her, smiling. More for her sake. "Couldn't miss it for the world", Evie replies before rushing in to board the train. But not before turning to wave one last time.
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Evie finds an empty compartment, and all is well in the world once again. She had bought more candy than she could eat. In one sitting. And now, she can finally think about looking for Jacob.
Suddenly, somebody opens the compartment door brusquely, and she turns to look.
A girl with short brown hair, a patch of orange on her semi-bangs? "Ugh, I thought it was empty", the girl huffs and then looks at Evie heavily, with a level stare as if she's assessing her. Evie does not squirm or twitch, even though she wants to. Instead, she just narrows her eyes and says, "you sitting down, or what?"
The girl huffs once again, then finally walks in, closing the compartment door. It appears she may have resigned herself to Evie's company, which was fine by her.
"Nearly bought out Honeydukes, you want some?", to which the girl gave Evie another heavy stare. While she just threw some chocolate frogs her way, already having decided that this strange girl was now stuck with her.
"I'm Evie", she said, holding her hand out to the girl who had just begun unwrapping the chocolate frogs slowly, peering into them suspiciously as if she didn't trust them.
"I don't trust them either. But that's part of the fun", with her hand still out, now waving it at her.
The girl looked at her, then her hand, then her again. And finally sighed dramatically. "Snyde. Merula Snyde", she says, and there's a pause, a breath, before she shakes Evie's hand.
"Great, now that you have properly introduced yourself", Merula rolls her eyes, and Evie smiles brightly, regardless of this, then pauses, "wait, I've heard that name before". Merula's eyes involuntarily close and she visibly shrinks away when she hears that. Evie sees it, but only files it away and makes no mention of it.
"Yeah, well. Whatever", Merula says, tries to re-wrap the chocolate frog she had started on. Now beginning to get up.
"You're leaving? Nooo. But you just got here. Not to mention, it's quite unbecoming to run-off in the middle of a social gathering, Mer", Evie grabs her arm and tugs her back on the seat.
"You... don't... want me to... go?", Merula pauses, trying to work it out herself. Dumbfounded by this development.
"No, of course not, dearie. We haven't even gotten completely acquainted, Merula dear", Evie chatters on, a lifetime with Genevieve springing on auto-mode.
She had hoped to see Rowan, but she wouldn't jeopardize this golden opportunity to attain a new friend either. Life at the manor meant not many chances to see children her age, aside from the occasional arranged play date or cousin visit. And Grace was mostly all the day-to-day interactions she had with children.
Something in her people's radar told her not to treat Merula like Grace.
"You don't know, do you?", Merula mutters quietly, more to herself than the girl next to her.
And Evie's years of listening in on Crius's study conversations or Genevieve's tea parties had honed her ear to pick up low whisperings. "Well, I feel like I've heard the name Snyde before. Hmm, well, I'm sure it'll come to me", unperturbed, she carries on. "By the way, I'm Evie. Evie Rosier, since you're giving me Merula Snyde", Evie tells her, then pops in another Every Flavour Bean, "mmm, butterscotch marshmallow".
"Rosier? Oh, that explains all of this", Merula waves a hand at her whole face and she can't help but laugh. She really doesn't know how to talk to people, does she? Merula's face brightens with a blush, which Evie doesn't mention either but continues laughing.
"Well, we are a pretty noticeable bunch, I suppose", she responds off-handedly, a good-natured smile across her face. Not every Rosier looked like a Rosier, and that made it funnier somehow.
She couldn't explain it, but it was as if Merula right then and there decided that Evie wasn't about to attack her. There's a switch in her inflection, and this further brightens Evie's disposition, my new friend.
"Which House do you think you'll get sorted into?", Evie asks, while throwing her legs on Merula's lap, who looks at her exasperated but still replies, "Slytherin, obviously".
"Hmm... Slytherin... Not bad", Evie muses, she knew a good amount of Slytherins. So many of her family were Slytherins.
A lot of the old pureblood circles that Genevieve knew were also Slytherins. The Blacks, Lestranges, Carrows, Malfoys. Almost all were made of entirely Slytherins. Many of them were in some way or form related to her.
Yes, Evie decided, she wouldn't mind being in that House.
"How about you, Rosier?", Merula asks.
Evie blinks dumbly at her. Admittedly, she could see how that's where the conversation was headed but still hadn't worked it out, "well, I hadn't thought about all that much", responding sheepishly. "I could end up in Ravenclaw, like my dad. Or perhaps Gryffindor, like my brother. Or maybe neither..."
"Your brother was in Gryffindor", she spits out with disdain. A cardinal sin in the eyes of the young Snyde.
"Ravenclaw, I can understand. They're not so bad, but you'd actually consider going to the greasy lions? Where's your blood pride, Rosier? Gryffindor has got nothing but muggle-loving blood traitors". And just like that it all clicked in Evie's head, Snyde, blood status, blood traitors. The Death Eaters that Mother was talking about. They were sent to Azkaban...They must have been her parents.
Nevertheless, none of this showed on Evie's face, "Firstly, just call me Evie".
Pureblood protocol states that we only use first names with an emphasis on nicknames when courting, Merula screams in her head. Her face heated up once again.
The blush she had been fighting back comes once again with a vengeance. Something that she had been trying to control ever since she began speaking to this complicated girl. She can't be serious.
Evie thinking that she had just been embarrassed with the informality, went on, "It's alright. You can also just call me Eva, if Evie is too much". There that should be easier, she thought smiling brightly.
Meanwhile, Merula keeps screaming in her head, feeling slightly light-headed. Rosier is pureblood, surely she must understand what she's suggesting? To be fair, she has been very forward from the beginning... but no. Yet, she even called me Merula several times. And also Mer.
"Mer, c'mon, say it with me. E-va", reaching out and now playing with her hair.
If Merula's face could get any redder Evie contemplated if her head would explode.
"Eva", Merula rasps out, without meaning to. Oh no. Well, it's done now. At least Rosier is from a recognized pureblood family in good standing. I could do a lot worse, and... she's pret-
"What else do you know about Hogwarts?", Evie interrupts her train of thought, moving around so that she was now resting her head on Merula's lap and looking up at her.