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fire emblem 3 houses but byleth is very gay

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Jeralt: It's been years since I've last set eyes on this place. To be forced to see her now...

Byleth: Who are you talking about!?

Jeralt: You saw her in the courtyard earlier, didn't you? The archbishop...Lady Rhea.

Byleth: Rhea? The fuq?

Jeralt: As you know, the majority of folks in Fodlan are devout followers of the teachings of Seiros. The leader of that ridiculously large organization is the archbishop, Lady Rhea.

Byleth: Leader, my ass. I need to meet this bitch.

(minutes later)

Seteth: Thank you for your patience, Jeralt. My name is Seteth. I am an advisor to the archbishop.

Jeralt: Right. Hello.

Rhea: It has been a long time, Jeralt. I wonder…was it the will of the goddess that we have another chance meeting like this?

Jeralt: Forgive my silence all these years. Much has happened since we last spoke.

Rhea: So I see. The miracle of fatherhood has blessed you. That is your child, is it not?

Jeralt: Yes…born many years after I left this place. I wish I could introduce you to the mother of my child…but I’m afraid we lost her to illness.

Rhea: I see. My condolences. As for you…I heard of your valiant efforts from Alois. What is your name?

Byleth: My name is Byleth bitch.

Rhea: ...

Seteth: E-Excuse me, You must at least show basic courtesy! Do you not think you are being a bit rude to the archbishop?

Rhea: It is all right, Seteth. My dear, I am called Rhea. I am the archbishop of the Church of Seiros. In truth, I was only being polite.

Rhea: From the bottom of my heart, I thank you for saving those students of the Officers Academy.

Byleth: No need to thank me I was just fucking it up like I always do.

Rhea: Jeralt. You already know what it is I wish to say, do you not?

Jeralt: You want me to rejoin the Knights of Seiros, don’t you. I won’t say no, but…

Rhea: Your apprehension stings. I had expected that Alois would have already asked this of you. I must step away for now, but I expect they will desire a word with you soon. Please listen carefully to what they have to say. Until tomorrow… Farewell.


Jeralt: I can’t believe it. Forced back into the Knights of Seiros. I’m sorry I dragged you into this. Looks like I’ll be stuck here for a while…and I’m afraid your services are requested as well.

Byleth: Oh hell no, we are getting the fuck outta here. I ain't doing chores around here!

Jeralt: Nothing like that. They want you to teach, by the sound of it. You heard those brats earlier talking about the Officers Academy, right? Well, the academy just happens to be short a professor. And apparently that damned Alois went and recommended you to Lady Rhea.                                                                                                              Byleth: What the hell, is that even allowed? I'm not certified to teach!


(Hanneman and Manuela arrive)


Manuela: So. You must be the new professor. My, how stern and handsome you are!                                                                                                                                       

Byleth: Ew, stop hitting on my dad, hoe.

Jeralt: You look like can handle things from here. Good luck. *whispers* And…watch out for Lady Rhea. I don’t know what she’s thinking, making you a professor like this. She may be up to something. Stay on your guard.                                                                                                                                                                                               

Byleth: *whispers* Oh, true dat 

(Jeralt leaves.)

Manuela: Oh. It's you, then? So young...                                                                                                                                                                                                            Byleth: Excuse me? 

Hanneman: Competence and age are not necessarily correlated, as you well know. I am Hanneman, a Crest scholar and professor at the Officers Academy. I wonder if you bear a Crest of your own. When next you have a moment to spare, I insist that you pay me a visit so we can delve into the subject further.                                                                                                     

Byleth: Uh, sure?

Manuela: I’m Manuela. I’m a professor, a physician, a songstress, and available. It’s nice to meet you.

Byleth: You're available? Oh no, bitch what is wrong with you?!

Manuela: Is it that obvious?

Hanneman: Now then, it seems you’ll be taking charge of one of the academy’s three houses. I expect you haven’t yet been briefed on the nature of each, have you?

Manuela: Do you really not know? Fine, I’ll do you a favor and explain.....

(1 hour later)

Byleth:(internal screaming)

Hanneman: To think that the next emperor, king and sovereign duke are all here. It certainly is a promising year for the academy.

Manuela: I’ll say. I just hope none of those little treasures cause any trouble.

Hanneman: Hm, quite. For now, I suggest taking a stroll around the academy to get your bearings. And when you’ve a moment, please stop by my research laboratory. Manuela: The old man has a point. Oh, and keep in mind that I’ve only notified the house leaders that you’re our new professor. It’s more fun that way. I suggest you try spending time with the students. Some odd ducks in that bunch, but they’re good kids.                                                                                                                          

Byleth: Kids?! I didn't know we were babysitters.

Hanneman: I’m sure Lady Rhea will have more information for you tomorrow, but that should get you going. Good luck. You’ll need it.

Byleth: I don't need luck, The only thing I need here is this fat ass.