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Namjoon feels nowhere close to tired.


He's buzzing with energy, mind a whirlwind. He's nervous and anxious, reveling in the bashful pride that courses through him.


It's been years since his last intro, and as laborious and nerve-wracking as writing Persona had been, he's happy with the result. He's happy, and he likes the song, and he wants people to like it too – and from what he'd read so far, they did.


So it's this kind of night where he feels too much and he already knows he won't get a blink of sleep. He's restless, he's curious, he has no other plan besides cuddling Jungkook while scrolling through his twitter feed.


It's not a bad habit, not anymore, because Namjoon knows some people won't like his music and that's fine, but he knows loads of people will like his song, because it's a good song, because he worked hard on it, and Namjoon is proud of himself and sometimes that's just enough.


Alas, this wasn't a sound enough argument for Jimin, who has mercilessly stolen his phone from him and hidden it in a dark, dark place, also known as his shared closet with Hoseok, and who had refused to give it back despite Namjoon sensible arguments, and his subsequent whining when it proved fruitless. Hobi and the minx had been unmovable and Namjoon could only walk back empty-handed to his room. He's only appeased by the knowledge his second phone is waiting for him there.


As soon as he opens the door to his bedroom, the rhythmic beats of his own intro reaches his ears.


Namjoon throws a curious glance at the bed where Jungkook lays, snuggled in a comforter, face partially hidden by the hood of his sweater. All that can be seen of his boyfriend is a big nose and two wide eyes, glinting with the blue light streaming from his phone screen.


“What are you doing?” he asks, heading to the bathroom adjacent to their bedroom without waiting for an answer. He snorts when Jungkook shouts after him 'I'm streaming!'


He resists the urge to grab his LG phone immediately, forces himself to go through a thorough 3 minutes of brushing his teeth. He wants to read nice comments, grin in his pillow like an idiot proud of himself, wants to lie on his back and stare at the ceiling while Jungkook dozes off his chest, thinking about how far he's come and how far he'll go.


When he steps out of the bathroom, Jungkook has resituated himself to sit against the headboard, blanket kicked at the very end of the bed. His phone is still blasting Persona, and he mouthes along to some of the lyrics.


Soft giggles bubble up the room when Namjoon starts searching for his phone.


“...did Jimin take it?”


Jungkook nods, mirthful eyes gleaming above his screen. “He came by while you were in the bathroom and told me to give it to him.”


“And you did?” Namjoon shoves a pillow in Jungkook's face to stop his laughter and unceremoniously fall face first on the bed, groaning in defeat. “You guys are awful.”


“He glared at me hyung, I didn't have a choice. I was fearing for my life.”


Namjoon huffs and kicks the bed in frustration.


“You're being dramatic,” he tells Jungkook.


“You just kicked your feet,” Jungkook points out and Namjoon kicks his calf instead.


He says nothing, listening to his own voice coming from Jungkook's phone as the song comes to an end. When the very last note comes, he speaks up.


“Can I borrow y-”




“Come on, I'm your hyung.


“I'm doing something important, hyung,” Jungkook says, just as the bighit tune sounds again.


Namjoon frowns, sitting up next to Jungkook. “Youtube? I thought you were on spotify.”


He leans into Jungkook's space to watch himself on the small screen. He'd already watched that video several times but he still pays attention to the details, and, like the previous times, he ends up thinking that he did a good job.


He did a god job, and there's some of that bashful pride filling him again when the video ends.


He feels good about himself and he wants to feel even better. He doesn't think it'd be too much of a struggle to get a handjob out of Jungkook, so he puts his hand on his thigh, leans in, ready to seduce the hell out of him, but ultimately freezes when the familiar bighit tune starts again.


“How many times are you going to play it?”


“I dunno,” Jungkook says, showing resistance to Namjoon's hand on his inner thigh. “I'm streaming.” And after a beat, “The giant you looks dope.”


“What about the me that's sitting next to you right now?”


Jungkook glances up. “Looks dope too.”


“Then let me kiss you already, idiot.”


He grabs Jungkook's jaw and tilts his head to press his mouth against his smile.


Jungkook angles his body towards him, quick to dive into the kiss. Their embrace is slow, heads tilting and tongues brushing against each other. Namjoon slides an arm around Jungkook's waist to pull him towards him, gently coaxing him to straddle his laps. It makes him taller than Namjoon, and he needs to stretch his neck to keep the kiss going. A wistful sigh leaves Namjoon's lips and he rests contentedly against the bedpost, the warm weight of Jungkook's body on his laps, his strong thighs braced besides his. He pulls his hood down to push his fingers through the mop of his hair.


They kiss lazily, in no rush despite the late hours and the soreness of their muscles from a day of rehearsal. Namjoon is still nowhere close to sleepy, heart beating a mad rhythm, but his mind feels more peaceful when he wastes time making out with his pretty boyfriend, tongue against his teeth and canines digging into his lower lip. He loses track of time, distantly aware that the song ended but unwilling to listen to anything besides the way Jungkook breathes against him and the soft rustling of the sheets under them.


Namjoon trails his mouth over Jungkook's jaw line until he can suck on his puffy earlobe. It tastes like moisturizer and the disinfectant Jungkook uses to wash his earrings, and he moans softly when Namjoon nibbles on his lobe. He tilts his head to the side and presses himself flush against him, lean muscles and warm body and the hint of a semi against his belly.


Jungkook unwinds his arms from around Namjoon's neck and he moves around for a few seconds until familiar notes fill in the room.


Namjoon releases his ear and Jungkook helpfully shows him the screen of his phone, a cocky smile on his face.


“You've made me lose ten minutes here hyung.”


Namjoon stares at Jungkook's Spotify account and bats his hand away, leaning in to kiss the smile off his face. Jungkook giggles into his mouth and shoves his phone in his pocket, muffling the sound, but Namjoon hears the who am I? The question I had my whole life all to clear.


“You're not going to turn it off?”


Jungkook shakes his head, presses several kisses against Namjoon's mouth and slipping his hands under his shirt. “You act like you have no idea what streaming is.”


Namjoon huffs but doesn't stop him, enjoying the assaults of pecks, skin tingling pleasantly wherever Jungkook touches him.


He feels his arousal simmer low, heating up his body but his mind is in no rush, enjoying the way lust consumes him, the way desire builds up and urges him to devour the pretty boy in his lap.


Jungkook doesn't quite enjoy the tug of arousal the way Namjoon does, and his attention is burning hot, touches more insistent and purposeful as the minutes drag on. He massages up his chest, pinches the small fat of his pecs between his fingers.


“Let me congratulate you hyung,” Jungkook says, hands skimming down his sides, leaving a trail of shivers behind. “I really like the song.”


“Yeah,” Namjoon says. “I like it too.”


Jungkook grins, eager hands leaving the warmth of his torso to poke at his dimples.


“I like you,” Namjoon continues, feels cheesy but Jungkook's smile turns shy so he figures he can live with that. “Can you blow me?”


“Yes,” Jungkook blurts out and then seems to catch himself. “Wait that's-- wow,” he leans away, shocked face a contrast with the way he impatiently pulls at Namjoon's shirt until he takes it off. “You? You're manipulating my feelings. I never thought that of you, to tell me you like me just so I'll go down on you it's so- low, I'm, I'm bewildered, flabbergasted, shocked, outraged---


Namjoon laughs at Jungkook's tirade, listening to him spit out an impressive series of synonyms as he climbs down his laps, a scandalized spilling from his lips in the crook of Namjoon's neck, a astounded when he plants a kiss in the middle of his chest and a vindictive appalled as he tugs on the drawstrings on his sweatpants.


“You're not very convincing baby,” Namjoon says, a slow, lazy smile on his face.


Jungkook's ears grow red at the term of endearment, always so easy to fluster, and he throws a playful glare up at him.


Horrified,” he breathes out, before pulling his sweatpants all the way down his legs.


Namjoon's voice fades out, silence disrupted by their breathing and his own rap coming from Jungkook's pocket.


“It's on a loop,” Jungkook says when Namjoon throws him a look.


You are not supposed to be streaming it.”


Jungkook scoffs. “I'm not a fake fan.” Before Namjoon's hand can successfully retrieve his phone, he grabs Namjoon's thighs and yanks him down the bed in one swift movement.


A strangled yelp catches in Namjoon's throat and he stares up at the looming figure of his smug boyfriend above him. He huffs and reaches out, threading his fingers back in Jungkook's hair to tug him down.


“Don't manhandle me,” he chastises, but there's a smile playing on his lips and a thrill running down his spine.


“You only say that because you're weak and jealous of my incredible strength.


“I can carry you. I have carried you.”


Jungkook snorts. “I could carry me too.”


“What point are you trying to prove here?” Namjoon says, but Jungkook silences him with his mouth and Namjoon likes kissing too much to argue about how weak he supposedly is.


Jungkook's lips trail down his throat, then down his chest, gentle and greedy. Namjoon sighs, feels warm in every spots Jungkook kisses, a happy swirl inside his belly and his cock steadily filling up at the ministrations. Jungkook licks over his nipples and sucks on the soft skin of his stomach, petting all over the expanse of his chest.


“Let me see you,” Namjoon says gruffly.


Jungkook glances up at him from where he's mouthing lightly at his belly and sits up long enough to rip his hoodie off. Namjoon doesn't even have time to drink in the sight of him before he's diving back down, nose against his ribcage and lips above his navel.


He cards his fingers in Jungkook's hair and holds him, cradles his head against his chest like a coveted, prized possession. Jungkook stills in his embrace, pulse fast under his thumb and breath moist on his skin. Persona goes, dear myself, you must never lose your temperature. Namjoon holds Jungkook tighter, basking in how real he is, heavy muscles and tender heart that he can still taste on the tip of his tongue.


Jungkook doesn't move one bit, hard against his hips but he stays where he is, tension easing from his back as he presses his face into Namjoon's stomach. And when finally, Namjoon releases him from his hold, he presses a fat kiss under his navel and lets his mouth travel down to his crotch to kiss over the fabric of his tented boxer briefs. Namjoon feels cold where Jungkook's warmth leaves him, burning hot where it remains, shivers and sweat running down his spine in equal amounts.


Persona ends and starts again, a never-ending loop, how you feel? How're you feeling right now?. The thought of getting off to his own song is mortifying but not enough to kill his perverse curiosity.


Jungkook's hands wander up and down his legs while he noses over his crotch, moist breath puffing against him. He wraps his lips around the head of his cock through his underwear and Namjoon lets out an involuntary ah, muscles tensing up.


A whole song passes by before Jungkook draws back to tug his briefs down and throw them aside. His palms are rougher on his thighs now, more febrile and urgent in their attention. His eyes travel down his legs and up his passive form, pupils blown wide in fascination.


Namjoon feels himself flushing with embarrassment, new beads of sweats pearling on his forehead. He knees Jungkook's side gently to set him moving.


His own voice taunts him, the flaws of mine that I know, maybe that's all I've got really.


“Are you ever going to turn it off?”


“Probably when I don't have any battery left,” Jungkook answers, dislodging Namjoon's knee from where it's digging into his ribs. He presses it down on the mattress, subtly coaxing him to open his legs a bit wider.


“How much battery do you have left?” Namjoon keeps still only long enough for a cute frown to mar Jungkook's face before he indulges him and parts his thighs.


“Like, 60%.”


“No fucking-” Namjoon's words are cut off with a moan when Jungkook closes his lips around his cock. “Shit.


Jungkook takes more of his cock in, obscene, pleased sounds vibrating against his sensitive skin. He closes his eyes for a second like it's the best thing he's ever tasted, and Namjoon feels the wet slide of his tongue under his shaft, the soft stretch of his lips over his girth. Jungkook's eyes open again to stare up at him, as big as the wolf who tried to eat the little red riding hood.


(“What big eyes you have”, said the Little Red Riding Hood.


The better to see you with, my dear”, said the Wolf.)


Namjoon laughs breathlessly at the thought. He scratches Jungkook's scalp and watches him drool over his cock when he starts bobbing his head. It's wet, messy and lewd, just the sound of Jungkook swallowing his cock and slurping on it, and the constant tune of who the hell am I.


Namjoon breaks eye contact when Jungkook's eyes become too big for him, too loving to bear. He closes his eyes and relaxes against the cushions, keeps a hand on Jungkook's head and listens, takes in the pleasure and the warmth spreading through him, the I'm not embarrassed anymore, this is the map of my soul. It's a weird mix of things, he's caught between fuzzy feelings and confused embarrassment and the thrill of arousal, the delicious slide of Jungkook's mouth on him and the softness of his hair under his fingers.


Jungkook's muffled moans blending with his recorded voice is, he finds, an incredible addition to his intro and for a delirious second he wonders why he didn't think to put it in the song. Hobi is usually The Moaner In The Background, but this is clearly genius.


Namjoon parts his lips to let out breathy moans when his cock slides all the way down Jungkook's throat, hips shifting before Jungkook takes a hold of them.


He starts feeling him up, hands pawing mindlessly at his thighs, kneading the flesh, pressing his thumbs into sore muscles.


The song ends and starts again, Who am I ? and Jungkook hums a few lyrics around him, smiling with his eyes when Namjoon pulls on his hair in retaliation.


How you feel? How're you feeling right now?, it goes again.


“Kookie,” he says, plaintive, but all he gets is a very loud, very lewd suction noise that makes him want to buck up into his mouth.


Jungkook's hands trail under his thighs, pushing up until Namjoon bends his legs, rests his feet flat on the bed so Jungkook's slim fingers can caress the fat of his ass. Namjoon has a pretty good idea what Jungkook is trying to do, and he does a quick mental check of what he's eaten today before parting his legs a bit wider to accommodate him.


Jungkook pulls back, hot puffs of air against his cock before he licks it, from the base to the tip and then back down, slobbering over it like it's a giant lollipop.


He nuzzles in the space between his dick and balls, tongue poking out, always so dirty and uncaring, even when he drools over himself and the precum spilling from Namjoon's tip catches on his eyebrow. He kisses and mouthes at him, draws choked up moans from Namjoon when he sucks on his testes.


“Baby,” Namjoon whispers, grip harsh on Jungkook's head. He continues to lavish his balls with attention, wrapping his palm around his shaft to rub him lazily.


Persona goes I just wanna go I just wanna fly and Namjoon feels himself vibrate with the sensation of Jungkook's tongue lapping at his sensitive balls. He feels his guts tighten, wants to bury his dick back in Jungkook's mouth and come and fly as far as the mind can go. He feels restless, twitching in Jungkook's hold.


The gentle mouth leaves his ballsack and wanders lower, kissing his taint, several pecks that have Namjoon puffing in amusement. Jungkook kisses and licks and mouthes at him and Namjoon's brain grows fuzzy. He bucks up into his hand, curses. He feels like he's nearing the edge, coming undone while a much more composed, much more confident version of him sings I dreamt of becoming a superhero, now it feels like I really became one in Jungkook's pocket.


Jungkook kisses his balls again then presses his nose against his taint then his tongue darts out and-


“Holy fuck-” Namjoon jerks and tries to scramble up the bed, yanked back by Jungkook's hold on his thigh. “What the hell,” Namjoon says, voice strangled, staring up at Jungkook's alerted face.


“W-what?” he stutters, eyes wide with apprehension under Namjoon's glare.


“What are you doing?”


“I just- I saw that in a porn-”


“Jungkook! God this isn't- You can't just,” and Namjoon feels himself flush at the wetness where Jungkook's tongue at poked at his hole. “This is so gross,” he whines.


Jungkook's brows furrow unhappily. “No it's not. I've- I've watched videos, and I've read about it and, I've been wanting to try-”


“It's gross,” Namjoon repeats. “And- warn me? Tell me about it beforehand so I can tell you it's gross.”


“Sorry,” Jungkook holds his thighs and dick more tightly, like he's scared Namjoon will run away. It's a bit obscene, definitely distracting, to have his hard cock held in Jungkook's hand while they're arguing.“I-I just thought- I wanted- It's supposed to feel good for you-”


Sometimes everything sounds like freakin' nonsense, he hears himself rap.


“It's gross.”


“You don't even know what I wanted to do!”


“I have an idea.” Namjoon settles on his hand, challenging Jungkook with his eyes. “What did you want to do?”




“Gross,” he repeats.


“Plenty of people do it!”


“It' gross! You want to put your tongue in-- doesn't it disgust you?”


Jungkook doesn't even bat an eyelash. “Not really, no.”


Namjoon frowns.“It's not-- it's embarrassing. I mean you do know what goes through that hole right? It's just-- it's not like a pussy, some bad shit go through that, you really don't want to put your mouth there.”


“I do though.” Jungkook says, defensive. “I want to--” his voice grows quieter, hesitant. “It's supposed to feel good for you.”


“How do you know you won't hate it?”


“I don't, that's why I want to try!” Jungkook's voice raises again but his eyes are still downcast, glaring down at Namjoon's cock which, somehow, makes it twitch a bit. “I want to do stuff that makes you feel good. I wanted to do something special for hyung, today.”


He goes silent and his recorded voice is all he can hear, taunting him.


The regrets that I don't even get sick of anymore I tumble with them every night until I'm disgusted.


Jungkook is way too soft, way too gentle for Namjoon to stay mad at. He's not quite sure why he's so mad in the first place – beside the righteous offense at Jungkook trying something without his approval, that is.


“Ok so,” he clears his throat, reaches down to remove Jungkook's hand from his dick. “Please release my penis.”


Jungkook huffs, the hint of a smile on his lips at Namjoon's tone. He complies and looks up shyly from under his bangs.


“So,” Namjoon starts again. “First, don't try things without talking about it with me first.” Jungkook nods, mumbles sorry in a small voice and Namjoon nods back in acknowledgment. “Second... let's say we tried rimming. If you don't like it, you have to stop.” Jungkook nods “If you suddenly realize putting your mouth on people's butt is not what you want to be doing with your life, I won't be vexed. We'll stop and swap handjobs and that'll be the end of it.”


“You too,” Jungkook says, louder this time. “If you don't like it...”


“I'll tell you.”


Jungkook should be the one having second thoughts about this. Last he checked, kissing someone's ass doesn't hold the nicest meaning, but his boyfriend looks hopeful at Namjoon's change of mind.


Persona continues its course, unbothered.


Where's your soul? Where's your dream ? Do you think you're alive?


“Third,” he resumes, “if we go through with it, I need to take a shower.”


“It's fine, you don't need to-” Jungkook says, a slight pitch to his voice that tells Namjoon he's about to whine.


“Oh that's not up for debate. I'm taking a thorough shower. So that's a 15 minutes delay.”


Jungkook deflates and nods.


“Don't make that face. How would you react if I farted in your face?”


Jungkook blinks, and seconds later he breaks into a wide smile. “That- that would be pretty funny,” he says, and dissolves into laughter.


Namjoon watches him, bemused.


“Hyung,” Jungkook wheezes, splaying himself on the bed. His face is growing red and his cackles are loud enough to cover the song.


“You're shameless,” Namjoon tells him.


“Hyung,” Jungkook says again. “It'd be hilarious, imagine- imagine-” he doesn't finish his sentence, breaking into laughter again.


Despite himself, Namjoon feels the corner of his lips tug up and he hides his mouth behind his hand, unwillingly laughing along. He's 24, he's not supposed to find farting funny anymore.


Maybe I have been deceiving myself, maybe I've been lying but I'm not embarrassed anymore this is the map of my soul, his voice raps.


“Stop laughing,” he says, voice shaky with restrained laughter. “Stop.” Jungkook muffles his giggles into a pillow.


Namjoon shakes his head fondly, and gets up from the bed. “I'll be back in fifteen,” he announces. “You better have turned off that song by then.”


He stands in front of the bathroom mirror fifteen minutes later, ass empty and a determined scowl on his face.


Most of his bravado fades away when he steps back into the bedroom, stark naked, and Jungkook is watching his phone screen with rapt attention, sweatpants tented by an undying erection.


Of course, Persona is still coming out of the device, Namjoon's my shadow, I wrote and called it hesitation, it had never hesitated after becoming that welcoming him.


“I thought I told you to turn it off.”


Jungkook looks up at him, briefly checking him out. They both flush, which great, now they're two embarrassed idiots instead of just one.


“I have turned spotify off. Now I'm back on youtube.”


“Turn it off.” Namjoon glares, thinks he might not look very intimidating with his wet hair and half hard dick.


Jungkook nods wisely. “Guess it's time to use soundcloud.”


A frustrated groan escapes Namjoon's throat and Jungkook giggles, lowering the volume of his phone before shoving it back in his pocket.


“I do not like you,” Namjoon says, plopping down on the bed when Jungkook eyes him up and down again like he can't quite help it. He traps Jungkook under him, pressing their foreheads together. “You never listen to me.”


“I've been listening to you for the past two hours hyung.”


Namjoon playfully bites the tip of Jungkook's nose, before diving down to capture his pink lips in his mouth.


“There are a few hairs on my ass you know,” Namjoon warns in between kisses. “If you swallow any that's your own fault.”


“I know that,” Jungkook answers. “But it's like, super light and thin hairs. They wouldn't come off unless I bit on them, I think?”


Namjoon hums. “Well don't try to wax me with your teeth then.”


Jungkook giggles, disturbing Namjoon as he tries to pepper his face with kisses. “We're so romantic hyung.”


Namjoon presses his cheek against Jungkook's to recite into his ear. “I just wanna give you all the voices till I did, I just wanna give you all the shoulders when you cry.”


He feels Jungkook's face heat up against his, and he draws back to press as tender a kiss as he can muster against his lips.


His recorded voice fills in the silence, tell me all your names, baby, do you wanna die?


“You still want to go through with it?”


“More than ever,” Jungkook answers, breathless, and he reverses their position, flipping Namjoon on his back like some weightless pancake. He wastes no time, stealing wet kisses and licking into his mouth. Namjoon tugs on Jungkook's nipples and make him choke into his mouth. He rubs the little nubs and it's all it takes for Jungkook to grind against him, worn out sweatpants dragging against Namjoon's cock. It grows fully hard again, squished between their bodies.


Jungkook is the one to draw back first, pushing up on his forearms and panting heavily above him.


“Flip over,” he says, and then, blushing, “please.”


Namjoon smiles lazily and diligently grabs a pillow before he turns around.


He pushes it under his hips as he lays down, ass slightly propped up, and buries his face in Jungkook's pillow when lips press down on his nape. Namjoon sighs, skin tingling deliciously as Jungkook follows the arch of his spine with his mouth, stopping at every vertebrae.


The beat of his intro starts up again, you give me love, and Namjoon kicks his legs, bumping into Jungkook's knee.


“You're really not going to turn it off?” Hands knead on the meat of his thighs and spread them apart. “I don't know how I feel about getting off to my own song.”


Gentle fingers touch up his ass cheeks, squeezing a few times.


“Like you've never jerked off to your own songs before,” Jungkook huffs, his breath puffing against his ass. Namjoon's gut tightens in anticipation, and he's surprised to find himself actually looking forward to this.


To Jungkook he says, “Well,” and Jungkook laughs. “I was younger, and it was more like-- horny songs. Not- this, shit. Have you?” He tries to look over his shoulder to catch a glimpse of Jungkook.


Jungkook smiles at him, teeth and nose, and Namjoon promptly turns his head back.


“Wait like- have you listened to your song while beating it or to my songs?”


“Yes,” Jungkook says, thumbs digging into his ass, pulling his cheeks apart to expose his hole.


“To what? Yes to what Koo- oh alright, that's-that's wet?”


Jungkook does it again, licking a fat stripe over his rim and Namjoon blinks at the wall.


It's slippery, is what he can say so far.




“Is that ok?”


“Yeah sure.” He is curious but he honestly expects this to feel like a wet fart more than anything.


Jungkook's tongue laps up again, licking over his rim several times, until it feels wet. To his own embarrassment, Namjoon feels his hole opening to the touch. It's soft, if a bit sticky, but not any worse than lube and definitely warmer.


Jungkook's hot breath feels moist against his skin, fingers digging into the meat of his ass, and Namjoon finds himself clenching down, used to fingers prodding at him.


He doesn't say anything, lets himself relax under Jungkook's thorough licking, holding onto his pillow tighter when it turns too dirty. Jungkook presses several kisses up and down his crack, wet and loud noises like he's trying to suck hickeys into him. Jungkook groans softly against him, voice muffled, covered with the constant of I just wanna go, I just wanna fly, and Namjoon finds himself wanting to moan back.


It's a weird feeling, but it's not a bad one. The kisses and licks are eager and loving, filled with dedication and desire, and Namjoon feels loose, legs spreading wider apart, hole fluttering everytime Jungkook's tongue passes over his rim.


It's a teasing touch.


Namjoon shifts his hips to press down against the pillow, sighing with relief at the pressure. He rocks his hips tentatively, doesn't get very far because Jungkook whines and presses a palm against his lower back, effectively preventing him from moving an inch.


The pillow is fluffy against his dick, not hard enough to rub against satisfyingly, just enough to capture his cock and keep it warm. Namjoon sighs with contentment and closes his eyes.


Jungkook hums against him – the melody of his own song in his angelic voice, muffled by his own skin.


Namjoon doesn't quite know how long Jungkook spends licking and kissing his hole without trying to enter it, filling the room with those wet noises that are downright nasty and that makes him want to hump his pillow. Which he can't because Jungkook's palm is still pressing down on his lower back.


“It feels like you're trying to make out with my ass,” Namjoon says after a while. His voice is faint and cracks at the end. It takes him by surprise, how soft and pliant he feels, how subdued he sounds.


Jungkook pulls back only long enough to say, “Maybe I am,” and then teeth graze at his rim when he kisses back down and Namjoon moans softly.


“Fuck,” he says, embarrassed by his own voice, burying his head into the pillow. “At least turn off the song,” he says, taunted by his own voice, I laugh more than I did before, again and again.


“Sorry hyung, can't hear you, your asscheeks are covering my ears,” Jungkook says. Namjoon huffs and puffs and laughs into the pillow, body shaken with silent laughter. Jungkook giggles back, pressing his face between his legs. His laughter thrums against his balls, tickling and teasing. Namjoon's muffled haha turns into deep moans.


Jungkook giggles harder, pressed against his ass like it's where he wants to be, like he's at home right there and wherever Namjoon lets him.


Someone like me ain't good enough for a calling, someone like me ain't good enough to be a muse, the song goes.


Jungkook's uncaring adoration when it comes to him is – too much, uncalled for, unnecessary, but god does it feel good to be loved like that, even if it weren't to last.


The laughter subsides and Jungkook's nose moves up to press back above his rim and his tongue pokes out to tease.


Namjoon exhales, shaky and unsure. He wants to get fucked. He's as pliant and open as can be.


The tip of Jungkook's tongue teases him before it flattens and then pokes him again. It tries to dig in and push past his rim, and Namjoon's hole opens on its own, all too willing to have Jungkook inside him. It slides inside and wriggles around and that has Namjoon squirming – would have Namjoon's squirming if Jungkook weren't keeping him still. Jungkook's tongue is warm and wet inside him, lips against his crack and the hint of teeth on his rim.


Jungkook licks inside him and Namjoon damn near chokes on a moan, body tight and taut and loose and pliant. There's no way he can reach his prostate like that, but there's still liquid pleasure coursing through his veins, washing over Namjoon in waves.


It's good – Jungkook's tongue and lips, the way he moans against him, the way he sounds and the way it sounds, the music he can barely distinguish at this point. It's peaceful and pleasant, like a dirty massage, something that could last long and that Namjoon wants to bask in, but his body isn't on the same page and he keeps trying to grind down.


He lets Jungkook eat him up and lick inside him, the distant knowledge of time passing only brought by his own intro ending and starting and ending and starting again.


“Fuck, Kookie,” Namjoon whines – he whines – when he finds himself stopped from rutting against the pillow once again.


“Hyung,” Jungkook whines back, unashamed. “I've barely started.”


“Barely-” Namjoon pushes his ass upearning a surprised yelp. Jungkook begrudgingly lifts his palm from his back and Namjoon turns his head to look at the mop of his hair between his legs. “Do you know how many times I've listened to that sample already?”


Jungkook lifts his head only enough for his eyes to show above Namjoon's ass.


“Time isn't real,” he says, weakly. Namjoon shivers, the muscles of his stomach tensing at each breaths blown on his skin. “Bit more?” he asks.


“You like doing that?”


Jungkook nods, and presses a wet kiss against his taint before tracking back to his hole.


Namjoon turns back around, mutters a quiet shit, and pushes back against Jungkook's face.


Jungkook moans wantonly, clammy hands grasping his thighs as he digs happily into his ass. Namjoon reaches behind himself until he finds Jungkook's head and grabs a handful of hair, holding onto him as he rocks against the pillow and pushes himself back against his eager tongue.


Jungkook keens like he's sobbing, a high-pitched sound followed by loud slurping noises as he buries his tongue inside him. Namjoon feels tight, curled around his pillow, clenching and unclenching on the warm slippery muscle. He curses and sighs, moans, loud and unbridled when Jungkook sucks on his rim and it's so dirty he feels his dick twitch.


“Baby,” he says, voice hoarse. Keep- ah shit.”


He isn't sure how long this lasts, Namjoon rocking back against Jungkook, letting out the most embarrassing noises, thankful his intro is covering them for once. He doesn't let go of Jungkook's hair, pulls tightly without meaning to but it only makes Jungkook groan, as it always does. Jungkook's nose is squished against him, cheeks against his cheeks, voice against him and into him and Namjoon feels so open and willing. He's sure his own sweat is mixing with Jungkook's drool, but he can't help the way his body heats up and burns.


Jungkook is devoted and passionate, in this and in everything.


Persona drags on, the me that I remember and people know, the me I created myself to vent out.


“Gonna come, Kookie,” Namjoon warns, humping the pillow and fucking himself back against Jungkook's tongue. Jungkook makes a garbled noise that sounds like a protest but Namjoon doesn't think he can take any more of this, knows this has lasted long enough that his balls feel heavy and his dick twitches at the slightest sound.


the me that I want myself to be, the me that people want me to be


There's nothing but wet noises, his song, and Namjoon's cut off moans for several moments. Jungkook works his tongue inside him, squeezing his ass cheeks tight. Namjoon feels himself shaking with need, grinding down more frankly.


the me that you love, and the me that I create


He reaches his climax with a loud gasp when Jungkook sucks on his rim again. His visions fades out, spasming against the pillow while Jungkook's tongue twists and turns inside.


the me that's smiling, the me that's sometimes in tears


Jungkook's tongue slides out and he's back to kissing his hole instead. Namjoon lays bonelessly under him, slowly coming down from his high, breath coming out in pants.


vividly breathing each second and every moment even now


He laughs breathlessly, basks in the afterglow and waits for Jungkook to be done. Jungkook's face feels wet everywhere from his forehead to his chin but he doesn't seem to care, doesn't seem like he wants to stop, if the way he's gripping his ass desperately is any indication.


When his hole flutters and his dick twitches again, Namjoon reaches back to tug at Jungkook's hair, but Jungkook only buries his head deeper against him, like a disobedient child. He gives another tug at his hair and, faced with nothing but a discontent growl, he turns around, swiftly pulling his boyfriend up by the hair.


He gazes at Jungkook as he slowly opens his eyes, face bright red, spit dribbling down his cheeks and chin. He looks dazed.


“God, you're a mess,” Namjoon says as Jungkook blinks focus back into his eyes.


“Hyung is so good,” he says, and then, wonder in his voice, “You made really nice noises.”


Namjoon knows his blush has nothing on Jungkook's but it's embarrassing all the same.


His hand snakes down, swiftly stealing Jungkook's phone from his pocket. He turns off Persona, right as the song starts again and a feminine voice sings you give me love.


It's enough for Jungkook to regain composure, valiantly reaching for his phone. Namjoon has no doubt Jungkook could steal his phone back from him without struggle, so he plays dirty and grabs his crotch. All the fight leaves Jungkook's body. He lets out the softest ah, and slumps against him, dirty wet face falling between his pecs.


Namjoon grabs a tissue, tilting Jungkook's face to wipe it clean of his own spit. Jungkook's stare focuses on his lips, the only warning he has before Jungkook leans in to kiss him.


Namjoon turns his head and Jungkook's mouth lands on his cheek.


“I know where your mouth has been,” he says when Jungkook gives him a look.


He looks scandalized.


“Hyung!” he protests, tries to seek his mouth, hands coming up to hold his face. Namjoon squeezes his clothed cock and Jungkook's grip on his jaw become slack enough for Namjoon to turn his head again. He can't help the pleased grin spreading over his face, even if it aggravates Jungkook further. He feels laid back and relaxed after his orgasm, wants nothing more than to watch Jungkook come undone in his hands then go to sleep. He wants the kisses too, but he doesn't want the ass breath.


“Joonie-hyung,” Jungkook pouts against his cheek.


“Come on baby, let me make you come now.”


“You broke my streaming streak,” Jungkook says, voice soft and raw against his skin, cracking when Namjoon massages him above his sweatpants, rubbing over the thick fabric of his clothes.


Namjoon hums and looks around for Jungkook's phone. “Wait,” he murmurs, typing slowly with his left hand while fondling Jungkook with his right. He's good at multitasking like that.


He finds the song and plays it, grinning as he throws the phone at the very end of the bed.


The first note of Euphoria plays as Namjoon presses a small kiss on Jungkook's throat and Jungkook ducks his head.


“Hyung,” he complains, pushing up on his forearms to get his phone back. Namjoon wraps his legs around him, but it barely slows him down, so he resorts to squeezing his cock tightly. Jungkook flinches and burrows back in the warmth of his embrace with a choked up moan.


“Hyung,” he complains again.


“Shhh baby, let me take care of you now.”


Euphoria fills the room, the soft music and pretty voice blending in with the sighs slipping from Jungkook's mouth when Namjoon finds the shape of his shaft and traces it with his fingers.


He touches and pets Jungkook above his clothes, gazing at Jungkook's face. Jungkook bucks up into his touch, breath hitching and brows furrowing as the song drags on.


Namjoon thumbs at the head of Jungkook's cock until he feels wetness spread through his pants, squeezing and massaging what he can map of him to make Jungkook's mouth parts that much wider.


His hand goes down to press against his balls and Jungkook lets out the prettiest ah before he surges forward to plant a kiss on his lips. Namjoon plasters a hand against Jungkook's mouth just in time. His own lips smash against the back of his hand when Jungkook presses forward. His big eyes stare back at him above his palm, and his nose scrunches up in distaste.


The song starts again, you are the sunlight that rose again in my life, a reincarnation of my childhood dreams.


Jungkook stays where he is, right above him, caught in his hand. He groans when Namjoon palms him more roughly, set on jerking him off above his pants, rubbing him over and over and squeezing under his tip.


Jungkook stares and he stares back, and he feels great.


Namjoon doesn't know how Jungkook felt listening to him rap while eating him out but Namjoon knows how he feels now, still buzzing from his orgasm, pleasuring his lover while listening to him sing, and he thinks it's pretty close to euphoric.


He wants to watch it – watch Jungkook's eyes when he reaches his peek, watch his own expression of euphoria when he comes in his hand, when Jungkook, his pretty boyfriend with the big muscles and the gentle heart, with the big heart and the gentle muscles, comes undone and feels the height of peace he brings to Namjoon only by existing around him.


And the song goes, close the door now, when I’m with you I’m in utopia .


Jungkook blabbers words against his palm, nostrils flaring to breathe through his nose. He's so close Namjoon can see every details of his face, the pores of his skin, the flutter of his eyelashes, the millions of stars in his eyes. Pupils blown wide, he stares back at Namjoon, watching as he's being watched. He grinds against him as Namjoon strokes over his shaft, sweatpants growing wetter by the minute. He knows Jungkook will hate that feeling later on but right now he's frantic, rolling his hips down into his palm, mumbling pleas Namjoon can't understand.


Jungkook's full weight rests on him, pinning him down. The tips of their noses press together and Namjoon's knuckles dig painfully into his own lips. Jungkook shines as bright and hot as the sun, and Namjoon watches him avidly when he tenses up and moans and his eyes close.


He doesn't breathe and doesn't move for a second, everything still except for Euphoria playing by Namjoon's side, please don't wake up from this dream. And then Jungkook is slumping in the crook of his neck, panting harshly when Namjoon removes his hand from his mouth. He's still pulsing in his palm and Namjoon touches him gently, makes sure he's all spent before he moves his hand away and rubs Jungkook's back, his nape, his hair, soothing him until his breathing evens out.


Euphoria ends but it still rings in Namjoon's brain.


“Off,” Jungkook says, reaching for his phone and quitting the app with a vengeance before the song can start again.


He plops down next to him and Namjoon feels cold without his warmth. He turns his head, watching Jungkook's closed eyes and the tempting upturn of his lower lip.


He watches, satisfied, for several moments until Jungkook opens his eyes again, eyelashes fluttering before he fixes Namjoon.


“Was it alright?” he asks, voice soft and apprehensive. “Did it feel good?”


Namjoon reaches for his hand and squeezes it.


“Good,” he says. “Very. You?”


Jungkook squeezes back.


“Of course,” he says. “I like when hyung feels good. Like making you feel good.”


Warmth that has as much to do with embarrassment than adoration spreads through Namjoon's body. His heart skips a beat and tries to match the pulse he feels in their joined hands. Jungkook looks bashful. He looks sincere. He looks like there's nowhere he'd rather be than here and now, which is mind blowing because there's nowhere Namjoon would rather be than here and now.


“I love you lots, hyung,” Jungkook says, and before Namjoon can say it back, he gets up, jumping off the bed.


He takes off his sweatpants and pulls a face at the mess inside his underwear. He makes way for the bathroom, cute butt in view, and calls, “Going to brush my teeth again so I can get a goodnight kiss! Since hyung is stingy and doesn't love me as I am.”


Namjoon puffs and smiles, too tired to laugh. His body feels soft and his heart softer and he wants to sleep like that, with the vivid image of Jungkook's climax and his pretty voice singing to him about euphoria.


“Better hurry up then, I'm falling asleep.”


Namjoon has enough presence of mind to throw the dirty pillow away, grabbing a tissue to wipe the remnants of cum on his belly. Jungkook's spit has already dried against his ass, and it feels cold now.


He closes his eyes, surprised at how calm he feels. Persona dropped only a few hours ago, but the anxiety is tampered down, somewhere far away in his brain. Everything is Jungkook right now and the echoes of I just wanna go and take my hands now.


He's almost asleep by the time Jungkook comes back on the bed, feels his shadow hovering above him.


“Hyung,” Jungkook whispers. “I didn't get my goodnight kiss.”


His breath puffs against his cheek and he presses a chaste kiss against his mouth.


“Night,” Namjoon mumbles. “Love you too,” he whispers, and he doesn't stay awake long enough to see if Jungkook cries this time.


(He does)