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It’s not a love story. Maybe it is. Maybe it isn’t. It’s complicated, is what most would say probably. Definitely what anyone else would say if they’re in something like this. But to Yoongi, it was never complicated between him and Seokjin. It was smooth. Like riding down a water slide. Smooth and fast. Everything fell and fit to place like they were lost puzzle pieces of each other.
It was probably the happiest Yoongi’s ever been.
It starts out like this: The melodic pluck of strings. The soft tune it creates through the humid and eerie night. It’s slow, like every pluck is calculated, thought out, cautious. Careful to be touched as if the owner’s holding the most delicate and precious thing in the world. Like it doesn’t want to be heard in the first place, and Yoongi feels like he’s invading someone else’s privacy. But it’s also enchanting, like it says that it needs to be heard. Like those mermaids in stories that attracts people to hear their songs.
It starts out like this: The humming. It’s quiet but can also easily be heard. It goes well with the strum of the guitar. Goes well too much that it’s clear that it’s full of pain. Then it evolves to the sweet sweet voice that makes Yoongi feel all sorts of charm. But it’s still painful. Like it’s crying for something, looking for something. Like the world stopped spinning and decided to fall on this voice’s shoulders. It’s so raw that Yoongi feels the pang in his chest even though he doesn’t even see where the pain is coming from.
Somehow, he wants to catch the voice, wrap it tightly in a blanket and never let go until it blooms like the first rainbow after the storm.
Starts out like: A sniff. A low groan at the back of someone’s throat like they were trying to hold back tears for how long they possibly can but ultimately fails. It’s a quiet cry. A cry that Yoongi’s all too familiar with when he feels extra alone with his thoughts at night. Suddenly, the strumming and humming had stopped. Feels like time had stopped as well. It’s a bit suffocating. The air had turn thick with it. And all Yoongi could hear is the soft cry of a broken one.
He should go. Step back inside his room and dream of tomorrow. It’s definitely something private that he shouldn’t be snooping around with. But he can’t. His feet stay where they are. His hands stay on the railing of his balcony that he was holding onto.
It must’ve been half an hour later when Yoongi realizes that everything had turned quiet. The music had stopped. The crying had stopped. But Yoongi’s still there.
It’s been three weeks since Yoongi first heard the tenant above him. He hasn’t seen the guy once, but Yoongi’s heard a lot about him through his other neighbors, besides of course his guitar and voice. Says he’s tall and good-looking. Says he’s kind and quiet. Says it’s a shame he looks so lonely every day.
Yoongi hasn’t seen him but it feels like he’s known him for a long time now through the little anecdotes that he hears from their neighbors. Feels like he’s known him through the stories that this guy has been relaying through his music almost every night.
It’s not every night that Yoongi hears the guy sing, in his defense against the creepy vibe of it. Sometimes he’s too tired from work that he doesn’t bother to go out of his balcony and check. Sometimes the guy isn’t even there. But sometimes, the guy’s there above him, and Yoongi’s in his own quiet place. And Yoongi listens to him. And it feels wrong but it also feels so right to listen to such a sweet and painful melody.
Yoongi wonders and wonders. Wonders how such a beautiful tune is conveying such sorrow. Slow and painful. Wonders what was happening behind that voice to be that sad. What the voice has been through. Is going through. What’s it trying to avoid.
Yoongi wonders so deep for so long that he doesn’t realize he was also in a deep trance already until someone clears their throat in front of him.
He jolts. Lets go of the scanner in his hand and shakes his head to wake himself up from the daze he’s in, before he picks it back up.
“Sorry,” he mumbles, quietly. “Good afternoon. I-,” he says as he lifts his head and looks at the customer. But his voice gets caught up in his throat in an instant.
Pretty eyes, pretty nose, plump pink lips. Tall and broad. The customer looks like a guy who came out of a Disney movie. Or one of those pretty boy lead characters in a romance anime. Or that second lead in a romance drama who you’re always rooting for but doesn’t end up with the main character.
Yoongi coughs to mask everything. Probably mask the love at first sight he’s feeling and continues to scan the three items that were on the counter.
Slowly.
“Good afternoon,” Yoongi says again. A diet Coke and a beep.
The guy only gives a cautious smile. His eyes look tired. Looks too tired to even be open.
“I hope you’re having a nice day,” Yoongi continues. A pack of gummy bears and a beep.
The guys hums in acknowledgement this time.
“Ah,” a pen and a beep. “That’ll be 5, 600 won.”
It’s probably a bit creepy, that Yoongi’s just directly staring at this pretty guy who’s busy counting the exact amount of money to give. It doesn’t look like the guy’s disturbed by it though. Or maybe he’s too focused on his money that giving attention to Yoongi is the last thing in his head. Maybe he just wants to get out of there quickly.
Rightfully so, the guy breezes away when Yoongi says a ‘thank you’ after the whole transaction. Doesn’t even bother with the bagging of his items, instead pocketing them all in his jeans.
For the rest of the day, Yoongi would be lying if he said he never thought of the guy again. Almost every a few hours or so, the guy’s face would run pass by Yoongi’s mind. It’s like he’s that little earworm when you hear a catchy song.
It’s like that for a couple more hours. Then days.
Then…
It must be fate. Or destiny. Or whatever you call it. But Yoongi knows it’s most probably the work of the universe when he physically bumps into the guy again.
In his own apartment complex.
It was nightfall, and Yoongi’s just about to go home and step inside the elevator when a chest and the smell of roses knocks him out of his stupor. His mind floating in another land.
“Oh, sorry,” the guy holds his arms, turns them around forcing Yoongi to easily enter the elevator. The guy bows in apology while the doors close in on them.
Yoongi’s convinced that it’s another work of the universe when they meet again for the third time. This time, at night again, while Yoongi was waiting for the takeout delivery outside their building. How coincidental it is that they were both waiting for the same delivery man because they ordered at the same place.
It’s in the fourth time that Yoongi had mustered up all his courage to talk to the pretty guy when the latter comes by the convenience store again.
“Hey, uh,” Yoongi clears his throat as he scans the cup of noodles in his hands. “I’ve been seeing you around. I mean, not to be creepy or weird, but I think I’ve been seeing you in my building too.”
“Oh,” the pretty guy never fails to smile. Looks up at Yoongi, “Yeah, I, uh, I’ve just moved here a couple of weeks ago. You’re the one who ordered takeout delivery too, right?”
Yoongi couldn’t help but break into a shy smile as he unconsciously taps his fingers over his monitor. “Min Yoongi,” he says. He tries to sound confident, but his voice shakes a little at the end of his name.
The guy slightly bows and replies with, “Kim Seokjin.”
When Seokjin asks how much his cup noodles is, Yoongi says he’ll be treating him just this time to welcome him in the neighborhood.
It’s a series of other bumps and hello’s and the occasional smiles before Yoongi fits all the puzzle pieces and learns that Seokjin’s the one living above him. That Seokjin’s the one who’s singing and strumming his guitar in pain almost every night.
Maybe that’s why he always looks so lonely whenever they see each other.
Yoongi doesn’t know if it’s fate or another work of the universe, but he knows he should do something after another night of Seokjin singing about his unknown pain. After hearing the abrupt stop of his guitar followed by a silent cry and heavy breathing.
Yoongi runs out of his apartment. Takes the stairs because it’s much faster even though he knows that even a short flight of it will make him breathless. He’s only tried it once, and the sight wasn’t pretty after.
He rings the doorbell to Seokjin’s place. Rings it again and again until it opens and he sees the red, puffy eyes of Seokjin. His wet cheeks and his slightly pink nose.
“Yoongi,” Seokjin whispers to himself. Bewildered and confused. His ears reddening instantly.
“Hey, hyung,” Yoongi tries to catch his breath between words. “I, couldn’t, ha, finish this, tub of, of, ice cream,” he says, lifting said open tub in front of his face. “Do you have, ha, a movie we can, watch?”
It’s kind of awkward, of course, now that Yoongi’s settled down and is hyper aware that he’s sitting on Seokjin’s couch.
Seokjin’s place is the same as what Yoongi imagined it to be: simple and organized. Quaint, like he’s literally only moved at the place just yesterday. There aren’t that much stuff anyway to begin with. Like Seokjin only owns his clothes and bought everything else at an IKEA. That’s what it is. Everything looks so much like a display in a furniture store.
Seokjin comes back after excusing himself to the bathroom for five minutes first, all refreshed and has color back on his face; two spoons with him. He says he doesn’t know any good movies and just proceeds to play Netflix’s Fyre festival documentary instead since according to him, it’s been on his watch list ever since it came out. He just never got around to watching it until now.
They share the tub between them in Seokjin’s hold, each scooping slowly at their own pace as the documentary starts.
“How long have you known?” Seokjin breaks the silence after the first five minutes of the film.
“Wha-,” Yoongi looks at him, but sees Seokjin is completely focused in front. He looks at his own spoon and thinks for a second. “Long before we first met at the store. But I didn’t know it was you. It just, sort of happened? Sorry if you’re invaded and weirded out by this.”
Seokjin breaks into a smile. Scoops another spoonful of ice cream for himself before he sighs and agrees, “Yeah, it is a bit creepy knowing that you’ve been listening to me cry all this time.”
“Hey,” Yoongi puts down his spoon on the coffee table in front. “For the record, I wasn’t deliberately listening to you cry. I was listening to you sing ‘cause your voice is so pretty.”
And maybe Yoongi doesn’t think before he speaks. Maybe Yoongi’s mouth is faster than his brain. Maybe he’s suddenly aware of what he said because he feels the rush of blood travel through his neck and cheeks.
And Seokjin smiles again. Yoongi doesn’t know if he’s amused or happy but it’s a pretty sight. It’s always a pretty sight when Seokjin smiles.
“It’s petty but,” Seokjin says, putting down his own spoon as well as the tub of ice cream he’s holding. “All I’m crying about is a breakup. Six years of it, poof, gone. I know, it’s really nothing to cry about-”
“Don’t invalidate your own feelings,” Yoongi interrupts. “A breakup of six years, that’s a lot, okay?”
Yoongi had expected for Seokjin to shut him down, bring up those walls, and just to silently continue watching the film. What he doesn’t expect is, a few seconds after Yoongi said that, Seokjin is in his arms, shaking; having trouble breathing from how hard he’s crying.
They’re too close, and they’re not much close of friends to begin with. It’s too intimate that Yoongi doesn’t know what to do or say at Seokjin’s pain. He’s a bit stiff when he says that it’s going to be okay. That it’s fine to cry. To just let all the pain out.
“Pain is good,” Yoongi says, his hand hovering on Seokjin’s back. “You learn from the hurt then you move on. It’s okay, hyung.”
It takes a while for Seokjin to settle down. And when he does, the ice cream had melted into soup.
They’re much closer now in terms of physical space, and Yoongi’s still stiff but it doesn’t feel awkward anymore. It feels light and airy when Seokjin tells him that his ex-boyfriend is all he ever sees wherever he go. That they were actually engaged and planning to elope and do the wedding in an unknown city with just the two of them. That he feels so empty now that the life he’s imagined is gone just before his eyes.
“That’s why I moved here, y’know?” Seokjin says, fiddling with the ends of his shirt. “Fresh, new start. But it’s all the same. The place is different, but I’m still me. Still broken and lost. What a fucking cliché.”
Then he scoffs, smirks a little at nothing really. Maybe to himself. Whatever. Or whatever it is, Yoongi can still see the hurt beneath the façade. He doesn’t say anything. Actually, he doesn’t really know what to say in these types of situations.
It seems easy in television dramas, how you comfort someone. But in reality, you’re left muted. It doesn’t help the fact that Yoongi’s still walking on thin ice. Careful and afraid to break Seokjin.
They finish the documentary quietly, much quieter than before. There are sniffs occasionally, subtle glances, but no words exchanged. The air is thick and Yoongi swears he doesn’t breathe until he’s back in front of Seokjin’s front door.
“I’m sorry for all the trouble I’ve caused you today, Yoongi,” Seokjin says, head hanging low, hands glued on his door.
“You didn’t,” Yoongi smiles, and it’s genuine. Because Seokjin really didn’t. “I hope I could’ve done something more.”
Seokjin finally looks up to him, eyes sparkling from wetness. “You already did a lot. Thank you.”
It’s after they finally exchange their goodbyes, after Seokjin had closed the door, while Yoongi was walking down the hallway, when he finds himself going back and furiously knocking on Seokjin’s door again like a mad man.
Seokjin is confused and dazed when he sees Yoongi taking deep breaths. He asks if Yoongi’s forgotten something but in return becomes wide-eyed when Yoongi says, “You can use me, hyung. You can use me, to be happy again. To move on.”
“Yoongi,” Seokjin sighs. He takes his own deep breath as he closes and opens his eyes as if he’s thought deeply just for a second. “You’re a good guy, but I’m really not willing to be in a relationship with someone again. Not this soon, at least.”
“I’m not asking you to date me,” Yoongi clears his throat. Takes one step closer to Seokjin who’s glued to his place. “I’m saying you can use me, as a friend. I’m saying I’ll be here for you, whenever you need me. Anytime you need me. Use me.”
It was probably the most aggressive Yoongi’s ever been in his whole’s life. He’s never outspoken, but that night felt like he had said all his bottled-up emotions ever since he was born. Probably it also was too much for Seokjin, because he doesn’t contact nor see Yoongi in the next few days. It was radio silence between them.
Yoongi’s not surprised by this. He came off as too strong and upfront with his emotions that Seokjin probably felt invaded. They’re not close friends after all. More of, people living in the same building who occasionally bump into each other.
Yoongi has given up on the fifth day. A slow day at the store. His mind is blank as he mops the floor. Quiet. A dead hour. He’s contemplating on whether or not he should finally contact Seokjin. Maybe check up on him. But he’s not sure if that’s the right thing to do.
The bell rings and his co-worker, Youngmin, greets the customer as Yoongi still mindlessly mops the floor.
“Yoongi,” there are feet suddenly next to Yoongi. The voice is soft and familiar. And when he looks up, there are bells ringing in his ears when he sees Seokjin.
“Hyung,” he says, putting down the mop and wiping his hands on his pants. “What are you doing here?”
It’s a dumb question, that’s probably why Seokjin laughs a little. It’s a store, of course he’s going to buy something.
“I was supposed to buy something,” Seokjin replies, looking around the place then going back to Yoongi. “But I got distracted and thought of other plans.”
“Plans?”
Seokjin nudges Yoongi’s side with his elbow. “You said I can use you. I have chicken and beer waiting in my car. It’s a nice day to have a picnic by the river.”
And Yoongi doesn’t hesitate to change his clothes while shouting at Youngmin that he has an emergency to go to. (Yoongi feels bad after and tells him that he’ll take over his shift without any pay next time.)
Seokjin drives them to the nearby park where the huge river flows and where other people are doing their own picnics. They don’t have a mat, so they settle on the flattened cardboard boxes that Seokjin has from the trunk of his car. Says they were from when he moved and he was thinking of some other ways to use it.
“Pretty handy,” Yoongi remarks as he plops down on the cardboard with the box of chicken in hand. Seokjin sits down with him, the six-pack in his hold. They toast their cans and take their own drumsticks. Hum at the nice weather. Smile because, well it feels good.
Yoongi finishes his piece of chicken and says, “When I said use me anytime, anywhere, I didn’t mean to drag me out of work.”
Seokjin laughs, takes a sip of his beer, “But here you are.”
“But here I am.”
“I feel bad,” Seokjin lies down. Doesn’t get bothered by the fact that his head is practically on the damp grass. “You looked like you were having fun mopping that whole place.”
Yoongi lies down with him, “I was. Didn’t you hear me singing while mopping back and forth?”
“Oh, yeah,” there’s a giggle. “You were literally having a concert there.”
“Such a shame. I didn’t even get to finish.”
They share a few minutes of laughter. Continue snacking on the chicken and chugging their beer. It’s very relaxing. Comfortable. Definitely very much different from every encounter that they had before. Yoongi feels like Seokjin single-handedly tore down a wall between them in an instant.
On their second can of beer, Seokjin says, “Is this really okay?”
“Eating chicken and drinking beer midday?” Yoongi sits up. “It’s unhealthy but I think it’s fine.”
Seokjin sits up with him. “No, this. Being with you. Right now.”
“You don’t have to force yourself if you really don’t want to.
“I want to. I’m just not sure if this is the right way.”
“What even is the right way anyway? You’re free now. You can do whatever you want.”
Seokjin stares at him like Yoongi’s talking nonsense, but at the same time like he’s talking about all the wonders in the world. His eyes are glowing, like they’re full of all the stars in the whole galaxy. Maybe there are stars in his eyes. Maybe he’s got the whole galaxy in them because Yoongi feels so lost when he looks at them.
“Yoongi,” his voice is so soft that it makes Yoongi stiffen. Wakes up from his deep immersion in Seokjin’s eyes. “I don’t want to hurt you. Or me. Again. I don’t want to hurt anyone.”
Yoongi’s taken aback by this. Tries to mask his sudden redness and embarrassment by saying undecipherable words. Saying he doesn’t like Seokjin like that. Or, at least tries to. But he knows he had failed.
Seokjin just laughs and takes a swig of his beer then says, “You’re not really subtle, you know.”
Yoongi finally sighs. They share a moment of silence finishing one chicken part each before Yoongi cracks and comes clean. “I do like you, hyung. But this isn’t about that. Forget about my feelings.”
He looks at Seokjin, who’s busy tearing off grass beside him. He continues, “I want to at least be a good neighbor and friend to you. I’m not going to force you on something that you’re not comfortable with.”
“But why, though?” Seokjin finally looks back at him. Cracks a smile and puts his L-formed fingers under his chin. “Is it because I’m handsome?”
Yoongi quickly grabs a handful of grass beside him and throws it over Seokjin’s face. “That’s reaching.” It takes him a moment again, then continues, “Because I just can’t stand out there, hearing, knowing that my friend’s in pain when I can do something about it, okay?”
Seokjin just looks at him. Then tells him he’s always comfortable with Yoongi. Tells him that he wants to do a picnic at the park with him again soon. Invites him whenever in his apartment to watch another Netflix documentary. plans to watch an upcoming movie and maybe play some games in a VR arcade after.
Yoongi is floating when he comes back home that day. His days have always been dull and the same. And the way Seokjin is ecstatic to color his life makes him uncontrollably happy. Actually, Yoongi’s in full bliss knowing that Seokjin’s willing for Yoongi to color his life as well.
He texts Seokjin that night. Tells him that he wishes him to be happy too, that leads them to be texting until past midnight even though they can easily just talk to each other through their balconies.
“Come on, Yoongi.” Seokjin pleads on his knees on top of his couch while Yoongi brings them their takeout dinner. “Just one minute.”
“Nope,” Yoongi replies. Hastily scatters all the boxes on the low table in front of them.
“One minute then I’ll forget about it. Zip zip,” Seokjin makes a motion of closing his mouth but Yoongi doesn’t pay attention to him. Instead, only hands out his own takeout box and opens the television.
It was a slip up in Yoongi’s part when Seokjin asked him how he gets by with his rent and his other bills with only his work in the store. Yoongi told him that his living conditions is very convenient because the owner of the apartment building is his friend’s father and so-called friend lived in his unit before him; eventually buying the unit and just giving it to Yoongi when he moved. Therefore, a free apartment.
On the other hand, he gets by his bills through his other work online. Selling songs and other music services. Which piqued Seokjin’s interest so much that he’s been bugging Yoongi for a week now to listen to his music.
They’re halfway through this documentary called Icarus, Yoongi’s pick for the day, when Seokjin suddenly blurts out, “You can borrow my voice if you want.”
Yoongi had to down a glass of water after suddenly swallowing his ice cream on the wrong pipe before he could calm down.
“You said my voice is pretty, right?” Seokjin smiles at him. “You can use my voice in one of your demos! That way I get to hear your music too!”
Yoongi only stares at him. Blinks once, twice, thrice, until Seokjin bumps his chest and says, “You can properly hear me sing this time! And not just that creepy listening to me outside your room that you always do.”
“Hey! You said it was ok-,” Seokjin covers Yoongi’s mouth with his whole hand. And it’s a bit strange how everything just turns… quiet. Even the show in front turns silent in their ears.
They’re too close. Yoongi’s basically kissing Seokjin’s palm. Not that he’s actually trying to. But for someone who had never been this close to anyone in such a long time, Yoongi feels too much of Seokjin’s touch.
Seokjin lets go and goes back to his ice cream. Brushes the awkward moment off and says, “I’m just saying, but if you’re really not fine with it, no worries. I’ll just have to scour the whole world wide web to find your songs.”
Yoongi goes back to his ice cream too. “I’ll think about it,” he says.
Yoongi quickly thought about it.
Actually, he was only having second thoughts because he’s too shy to admit that he had already made a song the first time he heard Seokjin’s voice. Only tweaking and improving it bit by bit as the days went on. And ever since he had properly made friends with the owner of the voice that he had gone to like so much, he’s been wondering at the back of his mind if he should tell Seokjin about it.
Of course, Seokjin had beat him to it when he said Yoongi could borrow his voice.
“Thanks, Sihoon,” Yoongi says as Sihoon hands him the key to the studio.
“Don’t forget to lock up,” Sihoon replies, giving him a soft tap at the back.
“I won’t. I’ll give it back to the guard as always.”
Sihoon waves and nods slightly past Seokjin before he closes the door.
Seokjin’s at awe as he looks at Yoongi setting everything up with the machines and buttons that he’s not familiar with.
The night before, Yoongi had asked Seokjin if he was free this night. Tells him they should go somewhere that Yoongi didn’t bother to tell where. Just takes Seokjin’s car keys and drives them away.
Seokjin sits down on the couch behind Yoongi and all the machines, still wide-eyed and open-mouthed when Yoongi turns around and says, “Sihoon lends me the studio sometimes. I try to pay him but he keeps brushing everything off.”
“Your friend?”
Yoongi goes back to setting up the computer, plugs in a hard drive and does multiple clicks. “Friend of a friend. We’re not that close but we get together with the others sometimes.”
“Wow, Mr. Min Yoongi,” Seokjin relaxes on his seat. “Didn’t think you had many friends. You’re always alone except when you’re with me and Youngmin at the store.”
“Well,” Yoongi’s probably done with setting up because he rummages inside his bag and takes out a folded piece of paper and hands it to Seokjin. “I don’t exactly meet up with them. We mostly talk through texts.”
Seokjin takes the paper. Quickly examines the content well and, “Are these lyrics?”
Yoongi slightly nods, purses his lips, then turns around to face the computer. He double clicks his mouse to open a file, then a few seconds later, a soft beat plays. When he turns back to look at Seokjin, the latter’s just staring at him.
“I started making this the very first night I heard you. Kept fixing it here and there. Now we’re here,” Yoongi’s quiet as he explains.
The piano starts along with a melody that’s the softest Seokjin’s ever heard. Then he hears Yoongi’s voice over the speakers. His voice is rough and deep, much in contrast with the music playing. But he’s delivering the message so clear. Just as soft and gentle. Seokjin looks back at the lyrics and it takes all his energy to not cry then and there.
Lyrics about missing someone. About how every waking moment you see their face. Smiling at you. Calling your name ever so lovingly. Lyrics about wanting to let go of the pain, no matter how good the hurt is. About how it’s okay to not be fine. About how everything’s going to be better.
It’s a lot like…Seokjin’s story. Even though Seokjin haven’t even told Yoongi a huge part of his breakup story. It felt like Yoongi had captured all the moments, all the pain, all the emotions Seokjin had. Is still having.
Yoongi clears his throat, “It doesn’t have a title yet. And if you’re not okay with singing it then-”
“No, it’s,” Seokjin, with glassy eyes and a cautious smile, “it’s perfect. Feels like you’ve been listening to me well. You took all the shit I wanted to say and made it beautiful. Much, much, more beautiful.”
It’s a very unfamiliar feeling of course, the moment Seokjin steps inside the booth. He’s never been in one, much less a studio, so everything seems fascinating for him.
Yoongi tells him that it doesn’t have to be perfect, but Seokjin argues that Yoongi made him such a perfect song and it’ll be a shame if he doesn’t put his all.
“Hyung,” Yoongi calls over the mic, “Let’s do a soundcheck first, yeah?”
Seokjin furrows his brows, “A what?”
And Yoongi’s fond of it for some reason, the whole not knowing how his work works. He smiles back and replies, “Just sing naturally for now. We can adjust the volume of your voice and other stuff later when you’re comfortable.”
Yoongi’s so patient with him the whole time. When Seokjin fails to hit a note, Yoongi’s gentle with his words. Enunciating every syllable, making sure Seokjin understands him. When Seokjin finishes a line, Yoongi drowns him with compliments. Sometimes even clapping for him.
Seokjin tries to be as raw as possible. Even though he’s never done this before and not even a hair’s breadth close with what a professional is, he brings out all his emotions. He loves the song too much already that he wants to give it his all even if it’s just for one of Yoongi’s demos really.
At the very last line, Seokjin thinks there’s finally a tear that escapes him. Too immersed with the lyrics and the song itself.
“Hyung, you okay?” Yoongi’s careful through the mic. He sees Seokjin turns away from him and brings a hand over his face as if he’s wiping it. “You can come out now.”
Seokjin’s slow when he comes out. There’s a wet streak on his cheek that Yoongi immediately notices when he stands up and meets Seokjin halfway.
Before Yoongi could even say anything, Seokjin gives him the tightest hug that he had ever given and cries right then and there.
“You have to finish this song soon so I can listen to my pretty voice, okay?” Seokjin says in between sniffles. Tries to joke and laugh it off. Make the air lighter.
Yoongi smiles. Hugs him too and brushes his hands on Seokjin’s back.
It’s a couple of seconds that pass when they break apart, but still too close. Yoongi instantly feels wetness on his cheek after. Lately realizing that Seokjin had lightly kissed him there, still with tears.
“Just a thank you,” Seokjin says. “For everything.”
They don’t really say that much to each other on the way home. But it’s not awkward anymore even though it’s silent. At the least, it’s been relaxing actually, the silence. Seokjin would sometimes hum the song from before while Yoongi taps the wheel in beat. And Seokjin looks in peace whenever Yoongi sneaks a glance at him.
Maybe what happened at the studio broke down another wall between them because in Yoongi’s perspective, Seokjin looks freer than ever.
The elder’s always been the happy one between the two of them. Always the one who invites Yoongi to go out and have fun.
This time though, Seokjin looks like he had had another supply of energy when he drags Yoongi to the movie theaters to watch the latest Avengers movie.
Literally, physically drags Yoongi across hallways and snack bars after buying tickets.
It’s really not that big of a deal. Shouldn’t be. But it’s Yoongi, and he still very much like Seokjin no matter how hard he pushes down his feelings. And it’s also because they’re holding hands that makes everything feel weirdly more intimate.
It looked like Seokjin doesn’t really mind. Too focused on how he’s balancing two big cups of sodas on one hand while tightly holding Yoongi on the other.
Yoongi tries to focus on the two bags of popcorn he has on his other hand as well, but his mind still floats back to his and Seokjin’s hand.
God, they look like a couple.
Except, they’re not. And Yoongi’s very nervous because of literally nothing.
They find their seats and the movie starts. Yoongi’s more relaxed now as he tries to give all his attention in front. But he fails. Because every time a new scene comes up, Seokjin’s ‘wow’s’, and ‘ohh’s’, and ‘fuck’s’, make Yoongi look at him, eyes full of endearment. Fond. He’s always so fond.
The movie reaches its climax, and both of them have finished their snacks. Now that Yoongi’s hands aren’t that busy anymore, he tries to settle himself down by just being stiff in place and actually watch the movie. But no matter what he does, he seems to be restless for some unknown reason. He excuses himself to the bathroom once, just to keep it together. But when he comes back, it’s all the same.
Finally, Seokjin notices him. Whispers, “Everything okay?”
“I’m fine,” Yoongi whispers back. “It’s probably the seat or something,” he reasons out. Even though his chair is very comfortable actually.
They both go back to silence. Until Seokjin lays his hand open on Yoongi’s arm rest.
“Hey,” Seokjin whispers again, while nudging at Yoongi’s side. He wiggles his fingers, then waits for Yoongi. Who, of course, was very confused and shy, but still takes the hand. Holds it tight like earlier.
Yoongi sighs at that, settles back, and relaxes while Seokjin immerses himself in the movie once more. Like this, Yoongi really notices how rough but still soft Seokjin’s hand is. Like this, Yoongi notices how smaller Seokjin’s hand is. How they fit right with Yoongi’s. Like this, Yoongi feels every line on Seokjin’s palm. Careful details like they were written as a secret message. Like this, Yoongi finally, finally, focuses on the movie.
They walk outside the theater after the film had finished, still hand in hand but closer than ever. Their whole arms and shoulders are touching. Yoongi swears he can feel the body heat emanating from Seokjin in contrast with the cool air inside the theater.
Suddenly, Yoongi’s phone buzzes. He doesn’t let go of Seokjin even though that’s obviously easier to pick up his phone from his pocket. Instead, he takes his other free hand and fishes his phone out of his pocket in between him and Seokjin.
They stop walking, in Seokjin’s lead, to give Yoongi a chance to read the content in his phone, whatever it is.
Yoongi takes a second, then frowns.
“Why? What is it?” Seokjin asks, peering closer. But Yoongi had kept his phone away again.
“Eh, nothing,” Yoongi replies, pulling Seokjin to resume walking away from the theater. But Seokjin stops them again and calls out Yoongi’s name sternly. Yoongi sighs.
"It's Sihoon," he says, tugging Seokjin again so they can resume walking. He feels the slight tightness of Seokjin's hold. It feels warmer than ever.
"Hm?" Seokjin hums, moving closer to Yoongi's space.
"We have a friend, he came from Jeju and he's coming back here to celebrate his birthday next Friday. Sihoon was told to invite me because he didn't have my number."
"Ahh," Seokjin nods. "That sounds fun! You should go."
This time, it's Yoongi that stops both of them from walking. "But it's Netflix night. I wanted to watch Free Solo."
Seokjin stares at him for a while, then blinks quickly before bursting into laughter. He leans at Yoongi's side for support before calming down. "Yoongi," he says, and there's a spark in his eyes when he calls the younger's name. Gives a slight tingle somewhere in Yoongi’s chest. "We can watch Free Solo any day you want. You should go to that party. It's not every day that you see your friends."
Yoongi thinks about it for a minute then, "Can you come with me?"
Seokjin raises a brow. "Me? I won't know anyone there."
"You got me, hyung," Yoongi replies, unconsciously holding the elder's hand tightly. "It's free food and drinks. And you haven't gone to a party when you moved here, right?"
"I got you?" This time, Seokjin squeezes Yoongi's hand.
"I'll never leave your side."
It takes a whole lot of convincing and bribery before Seokjin finally agrees. Says he doesn't want to look bad in front of Yoongi's friends. Says he's not that good with crowds and partying in the first place. Says he doesn't want to be a burden to Yoongi the whole night. But Yoongi had this certain charm that in the end, Seokjin couldn't say no.
"It's going to be fine," Yoongi says as they get out of the taxi that drove them to the place where the party is. Had left Seokjin's car because they can't afford to try to get loose and be in an accident later.
He automatically takes Seokjin's hand, something that they've been comfortable with the past week after the night at the movie theater, and shoves both their hands inside his jacket pocket to keep them warm from the cold night.
Seokjin looks exceptionally nervous, which is very unusual to see. He's always been so quiet but he's confident when it comes to facing other people. Right now, though, he looks like he's got all the worries in the world.
"I won't leave your side," Yoongi says as he tugs them towards the gate that had been left open. They can already see a swarm of people swaying with the blaring music through the windows. Some were even at the front yard, drinking with themselves and playing some beer games.
"Do I look okay?" Seokjin asks, stopping them and making Yoongi face him.
Yoongi only smiles, doesn't even take a look at Seokjin's outfit. (He looked at him earlier and blushed on the spot because Seokjin looked too good for the occasion.) "You're not meeting my parents, hyung. Besides, you always look great."
"Yoongi," Seokjin actually pouts this time.
And it does something to Yoongi's chest. Like a flower just started blooming inside there.
Yoongi clears his throat, "You look awesome, hyung. We're just going to get a few drinks, then we'll go home, okay?"
When they go inside the house, a couple of people immediately greet Yoongi. He recognizes all of them in an instant, all old friends and acquaintances from his music gigs. They exchange some hugs and handshakes, taps in the back and nods while also introducing Seokjin in between as they maneuver between the sea of people.
He takes Seokjin's hand again after exchanging a couple of words with one of his old friends, pulling the elder surprisingly too close to his space.
"You really have a lot of friends," Seokjin remarks as they get to the kitchen where all the drinks come from.
Yoongi takes two bottles of beer from one of the big coolers on the floor. Opens both of them then hands one to Seokjin. "They're mostly acquaintances really. Only talked to them like once or twice. They're just very friendly."
Seokjin nods and they clink their bottles, but before they could even take a taste of the alcohol, someone shouts from their back.
"Min Yoongi! I've been looking everywhere for you!"
Jaehan enters the kitchen in open arms, wide smile with all his teeth showing. He walks directly to Yoongi and gives him the tightest hug.
Yoongi actually chokes and coughs a little when Jaehan releases him. "Happy birthday, Jaehan-ah."
"Yeah, yeah, thanks I know, you love me," Jaehan slings an arm around Yoongi's shoulders and then pushes him away a little. "Come on, we're having fun outside."
"Ah, wait," Yoongi frees himself from his friend's hold though. He looks at Seokjin then takes his hand out of nowhere. "This is Seokjin-hyung by the way," he introduces.
Seokjin smiles, bows a little before greeting, "Happy birthday."
"Ohhh," Jaehan smiles back, although it's more teasing than an acknowledgement. "You two-," he doesn't finish what he say as Yoongi cuts him off immediately.
"Friends," Yoongi says, through his gritted teeth because he knows where this is going. "He just moved places months ago. He’s my upstairs neighbor."
Jaehan drops his smile and gazes at their hands that were still intertwined. But before he could even say anything, Yoongi had started pushing him away from the kitchen.
"You said you're having fun outside?" Yoongi says as they all exit the kitchen.
Turns out, they were actually having more fun in the backyard. There's a big table just by the pool where a lot of people are participating in a massive beer pong competition. Naturally, Yoongi and Seokjin were roped into playing as opposing teams.
It's loud and busy. Much in contrast to the neighborhood outside. This house is definitely going to get a lot of complaints. Much to the contrast of the still night, the peaceful constellations, and the sleeping moon. It's very hectic, lots of people moving from one place to the other. Lots of people cheering, splashing water by the pool, dancing on the other side.
As Seokjin's teammate doesn't get the ball inside a cup, and the whole team takes a swig of their own choice of alcohol, Yoongi just looks warmly at Seokjin who's having trouble finishing even a gulp of his second bottle of beer.
Seokjin looks like he's having fun, talking to others and sharing jokes between them. Toasting their alcohol and laughing at the tipsy people slurring their words. He even dances with the others by his side which Yoongi had never seen before. Like he's really let go of himself for once.
The game finishes, and they go back inside. Yoongi's still tries to be at Seokjin's side even though the latter have been dragged by another group at the middle of the living room to dance with them. There are moments that they lock eyes with each other, which when they exchange their small smiles. As if they were little secret messages between them. Like telepathy of some sort.
Seokjin dances a funny wave dance, and everyone laughs and copies him. They form a train and shouts in rhythm with the music playing.
"Friends, huh?" Jaehan sneaks up beside Yoongi by the stairs. "But why do you look so in love? I can literally see the hearts in your eyes."
Yoongi doesn't even look at him, his attention only on Seokjin as he takes a swig of his beer. "Please don't try to analyze me. There's a reason why I try not to text you back that often."
Jaehan punches him lightly by the arm. "You're so obvious, Min Yoongi. Even a two-year old can look at you and say love's oozing out of your ass."
Yoongi sighs and finally looks at him, "I'm not here for that. I just want him to be happy."
And that's the truth. Yoongi's more than satisfied now. Seokjin looks like he's finally starting to move on to a new chapter of his life. And it's nice to be there for him and see him heal. There's nothing more than Yoongi could want.
Jaehan remarks that he's crossing a dangerous and deep lake then leaves him after giving Yoongi a hug. A few minutes later, when the song has changed for the third time after the dance train, Seokjin finally goes to Yoongi, all smiles and panting.
"You good?" Yoongi says, tapping Seokjin's back.
Seokjin takes his time to huff all his breath before answering. "Yeah, I think I just need air right now."
They go back to the front yard this time, and the chill of the night air is refreshing on their hot and sweaty skin.
Seokjin suggests they go outside and take a little walk to sober up because he's feeling a little tipsy.
As the loud music comes to faint, and the lights become dimmer, they settle on a curb, by the end of the neighborhood. They sit there, not minding the cold cement and breathes in everything they can.
It's very quiet this time of course, everyone else asleep at past one in the morning. Peaceful and comfortable.
"You looked great out there," Yoongi nudges Seokjin on the shoulder.
Seokjin laughs, "I probably looked so crazy. Your friends are crazy."
"Eh, they know how to have a good time. Especially with someone they like. Aren’t all people like that?"
Months ago, Yoongi would instantly blush when he and Seokjin stared at each other for a couple of seconds. This time, it's familiar. Like it's already natural for them to do so, getting lost in each other's gazes. Counting the constellations in each other's eyes.
Yoongi's getting too lost to his liking though. Because the words that escape him are for sure haven't been prompted in his brain first.
"You know I like you right?" He says, mostly in the form of a whisper but still loud enough for Seokjin to hear.
His eyes widen at his own words. Gulps down the sudden ball of anxiety in his throat that settles in the pit of his stomach.
Seokjin doesn't get fazed though. Instead, he smiles, nods while he slowly blinks.
The next moment comes too fast and too much.
Seokjin leans in closer to Yoongi and kisses him on the lips right then and there. He waits for a second or two to pass before he properly closes the physical gap between him and Yoongi, takes the younger's hand that was just on the ground beside him.
He looks at Yoongi's still wide eyes, then drops his gaze on his lips before kissing him again. This time, it's slightly harder. With more force, as if he's asking for Yoongi to kiss back.
And Yoongi does. He closes his eyes, intertwines his hands with Seokjin and raises his other hand to cup the elder's cheek. They both taste the bitterness of alcohol, but for some reason it's also sweet. Like a mix of cherries and cotton candy.
They kiss slowly, carefully, like they're putting on a show to thousands of people even though they know it's only them at the moment.
They kiss deeply. Seokjin's plump lips so soft that it makes Yoongi want more and more and more than he could ask for. It's instantly addicting that he never wants to stop.
But they do because they're running out of breath and by the end of it, they're trying to catch all the air that they can while leaning on each other's foreheads.
It should be kind of strange to just lock eyes with each other in the middle of the street after kissing with each other for what seemed like hours. But it's not. Yoongi feels more relaxed than ever, as they drop their gazes on each other's spit-slicked lips and share soft and fleeting kisses in between smiles.
Yoongi feels his heart is about to burst right then and there.
They don't really talk about the kiss on the way home. Just shares another one as they say goodbye to each other for the next day.
Actually, they don't talk about that night on the following days either. But they do fall on a new pattern.
Their days return the same. Yoongi goes to work the whole day while Seokjin stays in his own apartment, working odd jobs online until he feels bored and visits Yoongi at the store.
Still with their Netflix nights with cheap take outs and ice cream. Yoongi still listens to Seokjin sing in their balconies, but this time they're happier. Seokjin picks up a tune that's brighter. Sometimes he even lets Yoongi deliberately listen to him play if he's feeling confident. Asking some song requests and whatnot.
Yoongi still works on with his music, but now he's faster. More inspired to finish Seokjin's song like it's a gift that he wants to share quickly.
Everything's still the same. It's just that, their days involve a whole lot more of kissing. Borderline make out sessions.
They don't really talk about it. Don't even talk about their feelings or personal emotions they want to let out. They just sort of...happen.
They're more of a spur of the moment, the kisses. Not planned or anything like that, as far as Yoongi is concerned. Like they're watching a documentary, and suddenly they're too close and the air feels different and the next thing they know, they're kissing.
Or they'll be tasting Seokjin's baked cookies that he brought to the store for Yoongi and Youngmin, then the next second, Seokjin and Yoongi are at the back door, making out while Youngmin wears his headphones and pretends he doesn't hear a thing.
Sometimes they're just talking about a mundane subject, then suddenly they can't finish their sentences because they'd already be too busy kissing.
It's addicting. Yoongi feels so high all the time whenever he's with Seokjin. Feels higher because now, he's also happier to see Seokjin smiling all the time. Free of all worries. It's everything he could ask for.
Yoongi had just finished mixing Seokjin's song one night when Seokjin comes in his apartment with his guitar in hand.
"Hyung?" He greets with sleepy eyes, tired from all the music work he's been plowing through the weekend.
Seokjin's smiling when he reaches Yoongi, gives his hair a little ruffle, whispers he's cute, then gives him a peck on the cheek. "Let's go outside," he says, dragging Yoongi back inside his room then straight to his balcony.
He makes Yoongi sit on one of the chairs before sitting himself on the opposite one.
While Yoongi's all confused on what's happening, Seokjin crosses his legs, hoists his guitar up then says, "I finished a verse! Watching you write music made me want to write properly too so I finished this verse for weeks. And you haven't really watched me play ever since we met, so..."
Yoongi instantly feels warm at what Seokjin said. Feels warmer the second he plucks the strings of his guitar.
Seokjin's melody is the same as always, starts out simple and slow then it progresses to a much faster but calm tune. It's the same but feels so different. Like he's a completely new person from when Yoongi had met him. And maybe he is. Because the moment he sings the first line. Yoongi’s heart practically explodes.
Seokjin's voice is as angelic and pretty as ever. But now he's not singing of pain and how hurt he is. Yoongi still feels the pang in his chest at Seokjin's every syllable but they're bursts of joy and content, just like Seokjin's words.
For a short time and verse, he sings about a bright day and the sun smiling at him. How Seokjin's glad he opened his eyes and met the day.
When he's done, Yoongi can't help but just get up from his seat and hug Seokjin so tight even though the guitar was in the way.
Yoongi pulls back after what seemed like minutes, then just stares at Seokjin. The elder slowly puts his guitar down, holds Yoongi's shoulders down to his level and kisses him. Hard.
Before, they'd always start out slow and careful, even though all of their kisses are spurs of the moments. But now it's different. It instantly hits deep, as if they're desperate.
They hold on to each other, with Yoongi eventually settling on Seokjin's lap. Their hands are busy, can't decide whether or not to hold each other's hands, arms, backs, or necks. It's not the first time that they've slid into each other's mouths with their tongues but that night feels especially warm. Hot even.
Or maybe Yoongi's just losing his mind. He can't seem to grasp the fact that Seokjin had worked his hands way through the inside of his shirt, touching his bare back and stomach for the first time. Can't seem to grasp the fact that Seokjin had started moving his mouth on Yoongi's jaw, his chin, his neck, kissing deeply like he's trying to intentionally leave marks there. Can't seem to grasp the fact that Seokjin has settled on holding his ass, pushing Yoongi further towards him like he's pleading for them to be much closer.
It was proving to be way too hard for Yoongi to hide the tent forming in his loose shorts that he eventually gives up and actually grinds.
Seokjin moans at Yoongi's neck at that, then hoists Yoongi up from their seat, carries him back inside the room, and gently lays him down on the bed.
Yoongi pulls Seokjin back up and kisses him again. Both their hands wander and touch each other's bare bodies inside their shirts. Everything's hot. Everything's becoming too hot for Yoongi.
When Seokjin pulls back, he works his way to Yoongi's cheek, his jaw, and ear, Yoongi finally puts all his energy to form his words and whispers, "I really like you, Seokjin-hyung."
Seokjin stills right then and there, quickly pulls back and stands away from the bed.
Yoongi feels hot, feels confused all of a sudden. "Hyung?" He sits up using his shoulders as he examines Seokjin who's suddenly pacing back and forth at the edge of the bed.
"I'm sorry, Yoongi," he says, biting his lower lip, and throwing his hands everywhere because he just can't decide with what to do with them. "We shouldn't be doing this."
"Huh?" Yoongi's still in a daze. "Is something wrong?"
Seokjin just looks at Yoongi, then finally sits beside him, takes his hand with his and caresses them.
"I like you, Yoongi," Seokjin says. "I really do. You've been such a good friend to me. But not like that. Not the way you like me."
Yoongi's heart immediately drops. He's stunned. Doesn't really know what to say after being dropped with a bomb like that. Instead, he pulls back his hands and stands up. Steps away from Seokjin. "I don't understand."
"Yoongi, listen-," Seokjin stands up as well, tries to take Yoongi's hand again but the younger is quick to flinch and step away.
"That night," Yoongi says, his eyes already red, as if they're brimming with tears. "When I said I like you, why did you kiss me then? Why did you kiss me the day after? And the next more days after? Why were you kissing me just a minute ago?"
"Yoongi-"
"Are they all out of pity? I did some things for you and you repay me with this even though you know I like you and you don't?" Yoongi knows he's being unfair. But his mind blacks out and his words kept coming. "I pushed my feelings down for you because I know they weren't right. I'm happy just to be your friend, hyung, you knew that. I wanted you to be happy, I was fine with that. I told you that you didn't have to if you didn't want to. So why did you do it? Why, hyung?"
"I don't-," Seokjin tries to find words. Really tries hard to find whatever it is that Yoongi's asking for. But he couldn't. He turns away, "I don't know."
There's a tear that finally escapes Yoongi's eyes as he turns away as well. "When I told you that you can use me, hyung, I didn't mean for it to be like this."
"I'm sorry," were the only words that escape from Seokjin.
"Yeah," Yoongi sniffs. "Me too."
Seokjin leaves the next second without a word. Only unsaid apologies and his forgotten guitar.
Yoongi haven't cried this hard ever since he can remember. It's not that he's actually hurting, more of like he feels empty now and at a loss.
He had never wanted anything back from Seokjin in the first place. He thought that it'd be nice if the elder liked him back, but that was at the end of his priorities. He never wished for a love story with Seokjin, content with just the moments they were together.
Yoongi felt validated with the way he saw Seokjin smile as the days passed by. Every time it widens, it's like someone had gifted Yoongi the whole world.
Now, it feels like the whole world is suddenly gone.
It's a few days before Yoongi had the energy to call in back to work and actually pick himself up from his bed. Not minding the text messages and missed calls from Seokjin, leaving them all unread and unopened.
It's another few days before Yoongi feels a weird turn in his stomach.
Seokjin haven't visited the store even once after that night. He had knocked and rang Yoongi's doorbell, once, probably twice when Yoongi was still all cooped up in his bed but the younger only ignored him. After that, his presence couldn't be felt anymore.
Yoongi had come by Seokjin's place one night after work but got frightened at the thought of facing the elder again and didn't even bother knocking at his door so he just left without doing anything.
Yoongi doesn't hear Seokjin sing through his balcony again. Not even once.
Yoongi doesn't receive any messages or calls from Seokjin again.
At this point, Yoongi starts to feel some guilt. Maybe he acted too harshly, maybe he didn't really give Seokjin enough space to explain. Maybe Seokjin was still confused with his own feelings and he's actually trying hard with Yoongi. There are a lot of things going on inside Yoongi's mind that in the end, he decides to call Seokjin.
When the elder doesn't pick up, he leaves a message.
"Hyung, hey, it's Yoongi," he says carefully through his phone. "I know I've ignored you these past days, but I guess I was still just very emotional. I'm sorry if I hurt you. I'm ready to talk properly now so, call me back soon. Or just come by whenever."
Yoongi leaves a couple more messages and calls but doesn't get a single answer. At this point, he's gone worried.
More worried when he finally knocks on Seokjin's door and doesn't get any answer as well. He contacts their landlord, asks if Seokjin probably left without saying anything but was told that he didn't get any notice and he still had paid rent for the next few months.
Yoongi finally plucks up his courage one night after work. After staring at the flash drive where Seokjin's song is stored, the spare key Seokjin had given him long before, and the guitar he had left, for a couple of hours, he stands up, brings those with him upstairs and opens Seokjin's apartment.
It's completely dull. Seokjin's things are still at their places, untouched. It feels like the place haven't been housing someone. It's eerie, like those model rooms in malls again. Much eerie when Yoongi had first come by.
"Seokjin-hyung?" Yoongi calls out, but there's no answer. He goes to every room, one by one carefully, doesn't want to miss every corner. But no matter how hard he tried to look, there wasn't any Seokjin.
Did he leave? But all his things are here and the landlord said he still had rent to use up.
Did he take a vacation? Most likely. Seokjin's car isn't outside and he can easily go anywhere he wants to be.
Maybe he's just outside and will come back home later? Maybe. Maybe.
So Yoongi settles on the living room's couch. Nostalgic. Ice cream and Netflix nights. He carefully places the guitar beside him and the flash drive on the coffee table in front of him. He thinks that maybe if he waits it out, he'll eventually meet Seokjin again.
So, he waits. He lies down on the couch, staring at the flash drive, his mind running on what may happen when Seokjin comes back.
Seokjin would probably immediately notice Yoongi. Ask what he's doing, why's he here in his apartment, smile awkwardly like they're strangers again. Yoongi would quickly give him the flash drive, tell him the song's done. Actually, been finished a long time ago and he's just waiting for the right time to give it to Seokjin. He'll ask him to play it, they give it a listen while they explain what really happened between them.
Maybe they would go back to being friends. He doesn't know about Seokjin, but Yoongi would like that. To have casual picnics again, watching documentaries, and making songs. He'd probably make a new song with Seokjin, a happier one this time. Along with the lines that Seokjin made.
Seokjin would probably like to go back to partying with his newfound friends again. Dancing and playing beer pong. Laughing while getting drunk.
Yoongi can't wait to see Seokjin and tell him that everything's fine now. That they should just put everything past them and start again. Like old buddies that haven't seen each other for a long time.
Suddenly, Yoongi feels a slight dampness on his forehead. He blinks a few times, hard to actually open his eyes because it only registers to him that he probably fell asleep. Instinctively, he touches his forehead, but doesn't feel anything there. Which is weird because he swears he felt warm, like someone breathed on his head. Feels like something, or someone came close to kissing him there.
Yoongi stretches out, yawns a little. Then he looks around him, but there wasn't anything new in Seokjin's place. Still no Seokjin.
Except, when he looks at the coffee table, the flash drive isn't there anymore.
Except, the guitar isn't there anymore as well.
Except, when he runs outside the apartment and the building, he sees the faint gray of Seokjin's car hood, driving away as it gets further and further away.
Yoongi likes to think that this isn’t the sad ending of the final chapter in his life. More like, an opportunity has been given to him meet an amazing person, be nice to him, and help him, so he grabbed it. Like a good deed to be done. He just fell for said person along the way, but that wasn't the point.
The point is: This isn’t a love story. He drills it into his head starting that night. Drills it every day in his mind the moment he opens his eyes in the mornings. It’s something Yoongi would hold for a long time in his life, probably even forever, but in the end, it’s not the love story of his life.