Chapter Text
„This is insane,“ I grumbled.
„You’re supposed to be,“ Ragnor pointed out smugly. I frowned at him.
„What? I didn’t force you into agreeing to it,“ he shrugged.
„On the contrary, I belive you said something about burning my closet if I say no,“ I reminded him dryly and looked over the big white building ahead of us.
„Oh, c’mon Magnus, don’t be a spoilsport. It’s just for two months.You can always run away, if it’s too much,“ my best friend coaxed.
„And give you three ancient grimoires.No,thank you,I like my books whole.“
„Well, let’s go then,“ he rushed me by slapping my back.I let him guide me through the front yard and into a mental hospital.
I crinkled my nose in disgust over the white walls,stench of desinfection and alarming lack of glitter. Everything was white,blue or green.Patients were all dressed in light green dressing gowns, with plain white T-shirts and, again, green slacks underneath. I shivered at the thought of wearing something like that.
We sat on plastic chairs on a quiet hallway.Once in a while a nurse guiding a patient would pass by and give me odd look. I didn’t blame her,being stuck in an environment like that, I would flinch too at a sigh of so many colours at once.Someone should have warned that I’m coming,at least they would have a chance to take sunglasses.I made sure to stand out as much as possible,with my knee-high combat boots,painted on purple leather pants,electric blue tank top,shimering silver jacket and lots of accesories.Nothing makes you look more crazy than being a male and looking like a disco ball.
„Mr. Fell, Mr. Bane, you can go in,“ a young woman called.We stood up and went into the shrink’s office.
I had a terrible need to check my rainbow nail polish from the colour shortage.The whole office was painted light blue.Behind a white wooden desk sat the completely ordinary looking doctor in white cloak and with a name tag,that said Ph.D. G.Thompson.Nice.Isn’t Thompson a gun?
„Good afternoon, sirs.Please, sit down,“ he invited us.
„Good afternoon,doctor,“ Ragnor responded and shook hands with him and sat on one of two armchairs placed in front of the desk.I did the same,though in a lazy manner.I’m supposed to be crazy,so what does it matter, if I act imature?After I crossed my legs comfortably, I started to inspect the doctor’s name tag again and considered how much I’d bet on a chance, that his first name is Gregory.
„So, how can I help you? I read through the letter you send me,Mr Fell.You mentioned that your friend might need a further medical examination.Why do you think so?“ Greg asked.
„Well, Magnus, why don’t you tell your life story to this lovely man?“ Ragnor suggested.The amused glint in his eyes annoyed me,but I knew that if I don’t want to lose the bet,I’ll have to do it.I set my eyes back on my nails and started talking.
„I was born to a demon and a human.My mother hated me,because of my cat eyes and because I reminded her of the demon that raped her.She couldn’t bare looking at me and commited suicide.Her human husband tryied to kill me after that, but since I’m a warlock, I managed to burn him to ashes and save myself. I was raised by Silent brothers,who named me Magnus Bane. After I grew up I went to live on my own.Next few decades was a training time for me, I experimented with my power.Around the age of eighty I settled on helping other Downwolders.I sometimes had and still have rough sex with my clients,but never with anyone from the Faeyfolk,they are too sneaky and their men too feminine.I had a long term relationship with a vampire named Camille,but when I found out that she’s a manipulative bitch I broke up with her and left her in Paris, where she probably still spends her free time hooking up with random mundanes.Since then I’ve lived in Brooklyn with my cat,Chairman Meow.At least twice a week I throw a party for Downwolders,but I never allow vampires or werewolfs to attend at once,for that would cause too much paperwork eith the Clave and a mess,that nobody would bother to help clean.Happy?“ I talked emotionlessly.
Ragnor gave the doctor a pointy look that screamed What did I tell you?,while the doctor himself just stared at me for few seconds.He then cleared his throat.
„So,Magnus,how old exactly are you?“ he asked,voice raspy.
„Eight hundred twenty something.I only count decades,“ I answered calmly,amused at how he tryied to keep a straight face.
„And how are you feeling right now?“
„Sexualy deprived and depressed.My werewolf fuck buddy left early today without second round and with my favourite silk boxers,“ I told him.The empty space after that garment will never really be filled again.But I couldn’t really wallow in self-pity at the moment,watching the doctor trying to process what I said and Ragnor‘s desperate attempts to suppress laughter, was much more entertaining.
„So,will you help him?“ Ragnor then asked.
„Yes.Although I’m afraid he’s in need of immediate medical attention.He should stay here.“Thompson said. Me and Ragnor mentaly high-fived.Mission acomplished.