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‘You smoke, kid?’
Andy “The Butcher” Mrotek was the best thing that had ever happened to young Adam.
‘Uh, no. Not really. Not at all, actually.’
15 going on 16, and the boy had barely lived. The extent of his freedom was going to shows, but ones that were “no later than11pm, sweetheart!” It was almost unbearable.
‘Well, go on. Have one.’
The one thing that made his strict parents’ rules endurable was the strange inked guy he ran into by fluke one night.
Only then did he begin to feel alive.
---
Sisky, as his friends called him, had been going to local punk shows with his twin brother since he was thirteen—it was the only way his parents let him get away with it now—but since he’d gotten older he’d started to ditch Jason for his friends; he couldn’t help it, he was a teenage boy. His brother could easily fend for himself with his own friends, and besides, Sisky didn’t want to partake in the drinking and smoking that they did.
He was listening to some exceptionally shitty band, walking to the bar to get water when he bumped into someone. ‘Oh, sorry, man.’ He mumbled, ducking his head.
‘It’s cool.’ The guy was taller than him.
Sisky looked up and blushed. He was older too. ‘Sorry.’ He mumbled again.
‘It’s cool, dude,’ he chuckled, ‘Name’s Butcher.’ He stuck out his hand.
Usually when stuff like this happened, Sisky was the first one hightailing it to the other side of the venue. This time, for some reason, he stuck around. The only thing he had to blame was the guy’s mesmerizing tattoos. He cautiously took his hand. ‘Adam Siska. I mean. Adam. Sisky.’ He stuttered, heating up more, ‘Sisky.’ He clarified.
Butcher laughed and shook his hand. ‘Are you here alone, kid?’
Sisky worried his lip and eyed him, letting go of his hand. ‘Um, no. I’m with a couple of friends.’
Butcher nodded understandingly. ‘You want a drink?’ he motioned to the bar.
Sisky’s eyes widened a little. ‘Uh, no, it’s fine.’
Butcher laughed. ‘Oh, come on. One drink’s not gonna hurt.’
‘I don’t drink.’ He insisted.
Butcher shrugged. ‘Alright, fine. Whatever.’ It didn’t really seem to bother him much. Sisky bit his lip and awkwardly hovered for a minute before turning to go when Butcher spoke up again. ‘You come to shows often?’
Sisky nodded and shrugged. ‘Yeah, I mean. I try to.’
Butcher hummed. ‘Maybe I’ll see you at the next one.’
Sisky shrugged before skittering off. He wanted to know if Butcher was his real name and why he was so interested in Sisky. He gave off a weird vibe and Adam didn’t know why he’d even stuck around long enough to learn his name. He felt off for the rest of that night.
---
The next time Sisky saw Butcher wasn’t for a couple weeks. It was outside the venue under a shady light in the dark and his ride was running late. He had such shitty luck. ‘Hey, kid.’ Butcher grinned. ‘Long time no see.’ Sisky just smiled and nodded, looking away and trying to drop the conversation before it started. Butcher frowned. ‘Something wrong?’
‘No,’ Sisky said. ‘I’m fine.’
‘Well,’ Butcher lit a smoke and took a drag. ‘You smoke, kid?’
Sisky looked up at him, startled for some reason. ‘Uh, no. Not really. Not at all, actually.’ He cursed himself for being so nervous.
The older man just laughed and held out his cigarette in front of Sisky, ‘Well, go on. Have one.’ The boy just stared. ‘Just a drag,’ he insisted.
Sisky sighed a little and took the smoke, holding it like how all the people on tv did, and took a drag. It burned, and he started to cough. He didn’t understand the appeal at all.
Butcher laughed. ‘Try again. Don’t inhale so much. Little puffs.’
Sisky frowned, determined. He took a small inhale the next time before blowing out the smoke, pursing his lips. Okay, maybe there was some appeal. He looked up at Butcher, wanting to try again.
He knew the look and laughed. ‘Go ahead.’
Sisky smiled a little and tried again, slowly getting the hang of it. He stubbed out the smoke just before his ride arrived. ‘Thanks,’ he mumbled. He felt like it was something he had to say to a smoker giving up a whole smoke.
Butcher just waved his hand in dismissal. ‘See you later, kid.’
Sisky watched him as the car drove away until he couldn’t see him down the street anymore.
---
‘My offer still stands.’
Sisky jumped at the voice and turned around. He was at another show, and Butcher had managed to find him again. ‘Christ, you scared the shit out of me,’ he breathed, looking up at the elder man. ‘What are you talking about?’
‘My offer from before,’ Butcher said, hovering. ‘You want a drink?’
Sisky sighed, figuring Butcher was going to convince him some way or another. ‘Not really. But if you give me a smoke, too..’ he grinned a little, negotiable. He’d been craving another cigarette since last time they’d seen each other.
Butcher laughed. ‘Sure, kid.’ He said, leading him to the bar and sitting with him. He ordered Sisky a drink and handed him a cigarette and a lighter.
Adam graciously took it and lit, inhaling and sighing in relief. He took the drink and sipped it after. It burned his throat a little, but it tasted alright. He watched Butcher, pursing his lips again.
Butcher laughed. ‘You like it?’ The kid sighed and nodded in defeat. He grinned. ‘Good.’ He slid over the pack of cigarettes. ‘You can be my new smoking buddy if you let me buy you drinks tonight.’
Sisky eyed the pack and didn’t know how great of an idea it was, but there was something about the man that he just couldn’t resist. He took the pack and pocketed it, taking a gulp of the alcohol to prove his point and then coughing. That earned another laugh from Butcher.
‘So is your real name Butcher?’ the fifteen year old slurred.
‘No,’ Butcher shook his head, laughing. The kid was a hoot when he was drunk. ‘It’s Andy. I used to work in deli. It kinda just stuck.’
‘Andy,’ Sisky grinned to himself. ‘Well I’m Adam,’ he stuck out his hand.
Andy chuckled and took it. ‘I know.’
Sisky laughed and leaned back against the bar. ‘How old are you, anyway?’
‘Twenty one.’ Andy said, shrugging. ‘Too old?’ he grinned.
‘Nah.’ The boy leaned forward and beamed at him. ‘Can we go for a smoke?’
The Butcher laughed. ‘Sure, kid.’ He got up, helping maneuver the younger to the door.
Once they were outside, Sisky leaned against the wall, blinking and looking around. He was so dizzy. ‘So this is the drinking life,’ he mumbled, lighting a cigarette.
Butcher hummed and nodded. ‘Yep. Everything you thought it’d be?’
Sisky shrugged. ‘I thought I’d make stupid mistakes,’ he admitted, looking up at his partner.
Andy raised an eyebrow. ‘Such as?’ Sisky grinned dumbly at him and waved him down. Butcher obliged, only to have a sloppy kiss planted on his cheek followed by a stupid giggle. He just laughed and rolled his eyes.
---
‘Inhale… harder… hold…. Okay, release.’
Sisky blew the smoke right in Butcher’s face, leaving him looking unimpressed. He blinked, laughing. It was his first time smoking weed and he was learning how to take a hit from a bong. He laughed. ‘Sorry.’ He mumbled.
Butcher rolled his eyes. ‘Whatever.’ He took the bong from him and knocked the burnt weed from the stem, replacing it with fresh stuff and handing it back. ‘Try again,’ he said, lighting it up.
Sisky laid back against Butcher’s chest. It had been a couple weeks of smoking and drinking at shows, and they had found themselves starting to hang out at the park halfway between them. It was a children’s playground, but neither of them really had any ethics left so they just hung around the grassy hill, stoned and satisfied.
‘How do you feel?’ Andy asked, running his hand down Adam’s shoulder.
‘Good,’ he grinned. ‘I like this better than being drunk.’ He mumbled, tilting his head back to look at him. ‘I can still think this way. I think even more, actually.’ He rambled, closing his eyes and smiling. The sun felt so warm on his face.
Butcher watched him, biting his lip. The boy was still so innocent that it made his skin crawl. He wanted to eat all of it up and corrupt him—every inch of him--all the way to his bones. He watched Sisky sunbathe and think, studying him as he opened his eyes and moved to look at Andy’s tattoos and trace them.
‘So pretty,’ he whispered.
Butcher smiled. ‘You like them?’
The boy nodded, tracing and humming. ‘I want one some day.’
Butcher chuckled and kissed his hair. ‘I’m sure I can arrange for that to happen,’ he murmured, taking out his pack of smokes and lighting one, inhaling and slowly letting the smoke seep from between his lips.
Sisky watched him, entranced by the way it floated away so gracefully. ‘Can I—‘ Sisky murmured, reaching up to touch his lip.
‘Hm?’ Butcher watched him, kissing the tips of his fingers.
‘I forgot my pack,’ Sisky admitted.
Butcher pursed his lips. ‘This is my last smoke,’ he said, taking another drag.
‘Share,’ The boy pleaded.
Butcher watched him. ‘Have you ever heard of shotgunning?’
Sisky shook his head, more focusing on the cigarette than his words.
Butcher just smirked and shifted so that Sisky was sitting in his lap facing him. ‘I’m gonna inhale and then when I release you inhale.’ He said, watching him to make sure he understood. ‘Ready?’
Sisky nodded.
Butcher took a long drag before taking Adam’s face in his hands and exhaling slowly so that Sisky could breathe it all in. He watched his face, admiring the intensity of his eyes and the flush of his cheeks.
Sisky tilted his head back and exhaled slowly upwards. He sighed. ‘That’s so hot,’ he whispered, laughing lightly and leaning forward to press his face against his throat. The new burn in his lungs and desire for Butcher gave him the most fantastic adrenaline he’d ever experienced.
Butcher chuckled. ‘I know.’
‘Thank you,’ Sisky whispered.
‘Hm?’ Butcher smiled down at him.
‘I feel so alive,’ Sisky whispered, lifting a hand and rubbing the scuff on Andy’s cheek. ‘I’ve never—this is the best thing that’s ever happened to me; you’re the best thing.’
Andy chuckled, kissing the boy’s forehead and laying down. He wrapped an arm around the boy and stubbed out the smoke. ‘Go to sleep, kid.’
Sisky smiled and leaned up, pressing a small kiss to the older man’s lips before resting his head on his chest and closing his eyes.
---
‘I want it,’ Sisky had never sounded so desperate in his life. He was breathing hard against Butcher’s shoulder, just slightly tipsy from the alcohol. It was a week after Sisky’s sixteenth birthday and two months since they had met.
Sixteen, eighteen, whatever. Common mistake. ‘My car isn’t very graceful, Sisky-Biz,’ Butcher murmured in his ear, pulling him closer. He had been sucking hard at Sisky’s neck, mouthing along his skin and biting down. He wanted to mark him everywhere. He was half-hard and aching.
They had been grinding at a show which had turned into making out in his car. Truth be told, he had invested a hell of a lot of time in Sisky, and he was falling for the kid. His innocence made him want to be so gentle with him; he’d fuck anyone else in his car, but this kid? He could hardly dream of it.
‘Please,’ Adam begged. He sounded like he needed it. ‘Take me back to your place, then.’ He insisted.
Butcher grinned a little. ‘That’s something I can do,’ he murmured, climbing into the front seat and starting the car. He wanted the kid’s virginity. He wanted all of his innocence, every last bit of him. He wanted to be Sisky’s highschool stories, his glory days, even if he was nothing more.
The boy was surprisingly quiet, meaning Butcher cherished all the grunts and whines that slipped past his lips. They lay together in his bed, stilled, sweat-covered, and exhausted. Butcher ran a hand down his back, resting it on the small of it. ‘Was it everything you wanted?’ he teased, smiling softly. It was everything he’d wanted.
Sisky smiled into Butcher’s shoulder, nodding. ‘Yeah,’ he whispered, still catching his breath. He closed his eyes, tired. ‘I didn’t even know I was gay.’ He laughed.
Butcher laughed too, shaking his head. ‘I’m pretty sure you’re gay.’ He said.
‘Yeah,’ Sisky agreed. ‘Don’t tell my parents,’ he joked.
---
When things went wrong, the first place Sisky always found himself going to was Butcher’s house. Even Jason didn’t know where he was going and why he was always gone for so long. No one knew about Butcher; he was Siska’s safe haven and his protective shield. Butcher was the best thing that had happened to him.
This time, he cried into Andy’s chest, curled up in his lap on the living room floor. Butcher soothed back his hair. ‘Tell me what happened,’ he whispered. Lately some asshole had been bullying Sisky, he knew that much, but his boyfriend had never really gone into depth about it. Whatever it was, it was serious.
‘He’s just so mean,’ Sisky whimpered. ‘He-he calls me a faggot…. And he.. he just doesn’t stop,’ he said, feeling stupid for being so upset over something so small.
‘Hey,’ Butcher frowned, wiping his tears with his thumbs. ‘What’s his name again?’
‘San-Santiago…’ Sisky mumbled, looking up at him, eyes red.
‘How long has he been doing this to you, Adam?’ Andy asked, urgent and seriously.
‘The-the whole year..’ Sisky admitted, ducking his head and sniffling.
‘What else has he been doing?’
‘He… kicked the shit out of me once.. and dunked my head in a toilet…’ he whimpered a little, ‘He shoves me into lockers every day and calls me a pussy..’
Butcher frowned. ‘Let me tell you something,’ He murmured, kissing his hair, ‘You’re gonna make music and help people,’ he knew all of Sisky’s hopes and dreams, ‘Hell, one day you’re gonna prove him wrong. You’re gonna do things and he’s gonna wish he didn’t say shit.’
Sisky sniffled, sighing. The encouraging words; he’d heard them all before and they didn’t help.
Andy could tell his words weren’t helping at all. ‘Alright,’ he said, getting to his feet suddenly. ‘You’re getting a tattoo.’
Sisky’s eyes widened and he bit his lip. ‘What?’
Butcher nodded. ‘You heard me, you're getting a tattoo. Now's the perfect time.’
‘A real tattoo?’
‘Yes,’ he said, picking him up. ‘Let’s go.’
Sisky decided that it was a great deal unfair that Butcher wouldn’t tell him what and where it was going to be until they got there. It was going to be on his body permanently after all. ‘I’m not doing it if you don’t tell me,’ Sisky insisted.
Butcher parked in front of the tattoo salon. ‘Just be lucky that I’m not doing it myself like I did with my first tattoo.’ He shut off the car and got out.
Sisky sighed.
‘No!’ Sisky yelped. ‘Oh my god, no!’ His ass. Butcher seriously wanted Sisky to get a tattoo on his ass. And to boot, he still wouldn’t tell him that it was of.
Butcher just laughed and shook his head, rubbing his back. ‘No one will see it that way. Your parents won’t know, hell, no one will but me,’ he smirked. ‘Come on, Sisky-Biz. Where’s the daring piece I know you’ve got inside you?’
Sisky pursed his lips. ‘Fine.’ It really didn’t take much convincing.
When they got back to Butcher’s, Sisky was terrified to look at it. He did not want to see what the hell it was. It was sore and he had to sit shifted to the right all the time now. ‘I blame you,’ he grumbled.
‘I am totally willing to take the blame,’ Butcher just smirked smugly and they walked up the stairs. ‘Please look. Or let me take a picture and show you.’
Sisky sighed. ‘Fine,’ he always caved so easily with Butcher
Santiago. ‘Santiago!’ Sisky screeched when he read the scripted font. ‘That asshole is on my body forever!’ his voice raised into a panic.
Butcher put his hands on his shoulders, snickering. ‘Sisky, listen.’ He said, waiting for the boy to let him explain. He grinned. ‘Now you can tell him to kiss your ass,’ he shrugged, smirking. ‘You’ve got the best of him.’
Sisky couldn’t help but crack a smile and hit him. ‘You are such an asshole!’
Butcher chuckled. ‘But you love me,’ he said, pulling him into a hug.
‘Yeah,’ Sisky mumbled, biting his lip. ‘I love you.’
---
Butcher was the best thing that had ever happened to Sisky. Looking past the shady beginning and the short fights they’d had, Butcher had given Sisky the best year of his life. He’d become a smoker (and Butcher had quit, that asshole), learned how to hit a bong, become a borderline alcoholic, was a master at sex, and he had the tattoo to show for it. Sure they had to keep it all secret, but Butcher truly was Sisky’s golden years.