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Just a sip of liquid courage

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“Woah, easy there, tiger,” Alex commented as Bobbie knocked back another shot. It burned slightly unpleasantly in her throat, but the need to get drunk far outweighed the fact that this liquor was barely as good as the rotgut Marines made in their spare time. 

“Just need to clear my head,” she mumbled, waving at the tall Belter woman behind the bar to bring her another. She could already feel the buzz and with the way she was drinking, she guessed another thirty minutes and she’d be well on her way to completely smashed. Which was what she was trying to accomplish anyway. Just because Alex wanted to nurse his Ganymede gin, didn’t mean she had follow suit.

“Of what? All viable braincells?”

“Of her.”

“Madam Avasarala? What did she do this time? She didn’t fire you, did she?”

“I wish.” Alex just looked confused. She sighed. How could she ever explain to him what Chrisjen was doing to her when the Earther wasn’t really doing anything to begin with. She just existed in all her frustrating beauty and it was driving insane. “You don’t know what it’s like, alright? She just gets in your head and under your skin. And she’s not even trying. She’s the most infuriating person I’ve ever met.”

“So you have a crush.” Bobbie stared at him. She wasn’t an idiot. She knew that was what it was. She had simply never named it, not exactly willing to accept it. Alex’ Mariner Valley drawl and his comforting smile didn’t make it any easier to do that.

“I do not.”

“Hey, I get it. She’s beautiful and powerful and really scary. I sorta feel like I need to protect my balls when I’m around her. Not at all my type, but I get the appeal,” Alex said calmly and Bobbie had a small realization somewhere that it was probably weird that the pilot was talking about Chrisjen’s attractiveness. She had gone out drinking with him because she liked him, because he reminded her of home. She was comfortable around him. This had not been part of the plan.

“Okay, so I have a crush. On the woman who should be enemy number one, happens to be my boss in some weird twist of fate, who is also very fucking married and stated she ‘didn’t have the inclination’. But she was bleeding into her brain, so maybe that was a fluke.” She was rambling. The alcohol was definitely kicking in. Shit. With the turn this conversation was taking, she would probably end up doing something pathetic or stupid. Probably both.

“None of my business, but speaking as a general rule, people in positions of that much power, they ain’t really the monogamous type. And she’d be an idiot if she didn’t find you good looking.” Bobbie shot him a sharp look and Alex raised his hands, his expression a beacon of innocence. “Again, not my type. I prefer women that don’t look like they can kill me.”

“What are you saying?”

“I ain’t really saying anything. But sitting here getting hammered isn’t going to make it any better. Either get over it or do something about it.” And there it was, the stupid thing she was going to do. Getting over it wasn’t really an option since she was going to be with Chrisjen for the foreseeable future. Doing something about it, it was. And with this much liquid courage, there was no time like the present.

Clapping Alex on his back, she tossed more scrip than necessary on the bar and left, the liquor making her purpose astounding clear. Bobbie practically marched through the Tycho, barely registering how some Belters almost jumped out of her way, as she walked back towards where the Roci was docked, where two guards that had been personally picked by Fred Johnson who were pretending they were making repairs, nodded at her.

It didn’t surprise her in the slightest to find Chrisjen alone in the mess of the Rocinante. With everybody else of the crew on the station, the politician allowed herself some more freedom, scrolling through what were no doubt important and classified documents as the light for new messages kept blinking, her bulb of tea long forgotten beside her. What was surprising was that she looked a little more relaxed than usual, the suit unzipped a bit more, the sleeves pushed up as far as they would go, her hair no longer in that severe bun. She looked beautiful.

The quiet moment was broken when Chrisjen looked up and frowned. “I expected you and Alex to be gone all night. Did something happen?”

“He’s fine. I just wanted to talk to you.” Chrisjen raised her eyebrows, but put her hand terminal down. Bobbie didn’t know whether to blame the shots or her own stupidity, but just the gesture of the most powerful woman in the system, setting aside everybody who needed her opinion on running a planet, for her, it made her feel warmer inside. Alex had been right. She definitely had a crush.

“You’re unreasonably stubborn. You’re pretty much the most hated woman on Mars and I should hate you too. I should. But I just can’t. You’ve barely given any reason not to hate you. But I like you, probably too much. Alex calls it a crush. I don’t know what it is. Because you’re married and impossible. But all I want to do right now is kiss you and throw you on that table.”

Oh god. Had she really just said all of that? Chrisjen looked briefly at the table she was seated at with renewed interest and then focused that intense gaze back on Bobbie. Oh yeah. She had absolutely said all of that. Fuck. Facing a protomolecule hybrid had been easier than a tiny Earther she worked for and also desperately wanted to get naked. She shifted nervously. In hindsight, drinking that much had been a spectacularly dumb idea.

“You’re drunk,” Chrisjen said flatly after what seemed like an eternity. Bobbie deflated. That was it? Coming from the woman who could make or break people with words?

“Oh. You’re turning me down.” At least she had been quick about it. Chrisjen was nothing if not efficient. The older woman sighed, a bit dramatically, and slid off her stool. Bobbie braced herself for what was coming next, what Chrisjen’s no doubt logical explanation was for turning her down. Instead she held out her hand, an obvious invitation for Bobbie to take it. Which she eventually did, once the surprise wore off, Chrisjen’s soft palm against her rougher one.

“I’m not doing anything until your brain isn’t swimming in Belter liquor. Let’s sober you up. I’m sure there’s something to make that happen on this goddamn tin can.”

“Could have joined me on Tycho,” Bobbie muttered defensively as she followed Chrisjen to the medbay, still holding on to her hand, feeling a little unsteady on her feet. The Roci might have been salvaged by Holden and his crew, but she was still Martian and definitely better built than anything Earth owned. Tin can, her ass.

“Hmm, and have all the different OPA factions fighting about who gets to put my head on a spike? Sounds very appealing.”

“Johnson wouldn’t have let that happen.” He had seemed pleased to meet the next Secretary-General who would allow him a seat at the table when it came to peace negotiations. He’d probably do anything to keep her alive. Chrisjen, however, scoffed.

“Fred Johnson doesn’t control a tenth of the factions on this godforsaken station,” she said darkly as she pushed Bobbie into one of the chairs. The gel settled comfortably against her body, but after having spent far too many hours in one to repair her bruised body, she wasn’t too pleased to be back.

I wouldn’t have let that happen.” Chrisjen paused, a soft smile on her lips and Bobbie felt that warm feeling in her stomach again. How could she not want her, if the older woman looked at her like that? She didn’t have to be sober to know that.

“That, I believe.” Chrisjen started opening drawers, no doubt looking for those fast-acting metabolizers. Bobbie winced. She hated those. Brutally effective, but the momentary nausea and the possibility of a bitch of hangover wasn’t something she was looking forward to. The MMC would counteract the hangover with a great combination of painkillers and methamphetamines, but she didn’t think Chrisjen would go for that. 

The politician made a triumphant noise when she found the damn things and Bobbie started preparing herself for it, a few minutes of hell. Great. She had barely closed her eyes when Chrisjen jammed the needle in her arm without warning, flooding her system. Brutal and effective, just like the drug. 

“I always prefer to have complete silence when I take them. But I know people who want to be talked through it.” Comforting as Chrisjen’s voice was, it wasn’t what she needed. The chair was already feeling unsteady underneath her. Whoever had invented this drug had to have been a sadist. 

“Silence, but don’t leave.” A warm hand landed on her arm, not moving, just there, an anchor. Bobbie decided to focus on that as her stomach got that unpleasant feeling. The whole experience wasn’t good, but Chrisjen’s presence seemed to help. She hadn’t known the other woman was capable of staying quiet that long. It wasn’t a big shock that the moment she unclenched her hands and opened her eyes, Chrisjen started talking again. 

“Are you sober?” Bobbie licked her suddenly dry lips. The impulse to say everything that came into her head was gone and she couldn’t feel the liquor sloshing around behind her eyes. There was just a vague pounding at the back of her head. Definitely sober and kind of regretting it. A shot or two wouldn’t hurt right now.

“Painfully so.”

“Do you still stand by what you said?” Chrisjen asked with a tilt of her head. Bobbie tried to see any hint of how the politician would react when she knew that her drunken confession hadn’t been a fluke, but her voice and her expression were frustratingly neutral. However, she didn’t miss that her hand was still resting on her arm, her gold nails glinting in the cold light of sickbay. Bobbie raised her head until she was looking Chrisjen straight in the eye. The Dutch courage had helped, but she was a Martian as well and they didn’t back down from a challenge. 

“Definitely.” She was attracted to her, no doubt about it. Bobbie had no idea when exactly the realization had hit her, but it had become clearer to her from the moment they had started sharing quarters, when almost all day, every day she had been surrounded by her. 

Chrisjen stayed silent for a moment, giving nothing away, leaving Bobbie to wait for what seemed like an eternity. She knew the woman could be cruel, but to leave her hanging only to turn her down would seem excessive, even for her. But then the corner of her mouth quirked up, a daring, little smile on her lips and Bobbie felt like she could breathe again. At least it didn’t feel like an outright rejection. 

“You have an interesting way of telling someone you want to fuck them. Unreasonably stubborn, most hated woman on Mars, impossible.” Bobbie winced. Yeah, that had not been her finest moment, but Chrisjen didn’t seem to be annoyed by it, more like amused. “You missed my favorite. Snake in a sari.” 

“That one must be limited to Earth.” 

“I can’t change who I am and I don’t care to change other people’s perceptions.” Bobbie nodded. That wasn’t surprising. She had met very few people who cared so little about what the rest of the universe thought about them. Chrisjen leaned against the chair with her hip. It’d be so easy to touch her, but the Earther hadn’t actually confirmed the feeling was mutual yet. “I am married, as you pointed out. But I fuck other people than Arjun. And yes, he knows.”

Alex had been right, not exactly the monogamous type. It wasn’t any of her business how Chrisjen’s marriage worked. The only thing she got from it was that the one true objection she had been able to voice, was now off the table. Which, she realized by looking at Chrisjen, had been her intention. “Okay. What about the time you said you didn’t have the inclination?”

“I was suffering from temporary brain damage. I think that negates anything I might have said at the time.” Married, but not monogamous and now not straight. Anything else Bobbie had said, was just who Chrisjen was and part of the reason she liked the frustrating woman. Bobbie pushed herself up in the chair. 

“So, you’re saying - -.” 

“Jesus fucking Christ. Yes, Bobbie, I find you very attractive. You’re strong and beautiful and almost as stubborn as I am. My God, this is the most complicated way I’ve ever tried to get laid.” Bobbie grinned. That was a confirmation. The warm feeling was back and then some. 

“You were the one insisting I’d be sober,” she teased, unable to resist poking a somewhat frustrated politician.

“I may be on an old, heartless bitch, but having someone regret fucking me, because they were blind drunk is not a sin I’d like to add to my already extensive list.” A noble point of view, but Bobbie was done talking. She pulled Chrisjen just a little closer, a hand on her waist.

“Chrisjen, just shut up and kiss me.” Bobbie didn’t think she would ever stop being surprised at Chrisjen actually listening to her, but she was extra grateful now as the older woman rolled her eyes with a smile and leaned in, closing the distance between them. Bobbie could see the lines on her face, the signs of fatigue, the exact color of her eyes, before she closed her own as Chrisjen’s lips brushed against hers.

It was so soft and gentle, not what Bobbie had expected, but it was good, so good. Chrisjen’s fingers were featherlight against her jaw and Bobbie almost wanted to sigh in relief. She hadn’t allowed herself to imagine what it would be like and she doubted she could have come up with anything like this. The tip of Chrisjen’s tongue flicked against Bobbie’s bottom lip, seeking access that Bobbie easily granted. 

She was sure the taste of Belter liquor still lingered in her mouth, but Chrisjen didn’t seem to mind as she deepened the kiss. Bobbie was grateful she was already sitting down, because she wasn’t sure her knees would have held up. But it wasn’t enough. Bobbie needed her closer, wanted to touch her and the damn chair wasn’t helping. In fact, it was really in her way. So she did the only thing that made remotely sense while Chrisjen’s tongue in her mouth was severely impeding her judgement. 

Her still bruised muscles protested against it, but she managed to lift the smaller woman from the deck, getting a shocked gasp as a response, before Chrisjen settled across her thighs, knees pressed against Bobbie’s hips. Taking advantage of the distraction her move had caused, Bobbie leaned in and fastened her lips to Chrisjen’s throat, her fingers seeking out the zipper. The moan that filled her ears gave her pause. She needed to hear that sound again, and again and again.

She could feel Chrisjen’s increased pulse against her lips as she sucked a mark on the delicate skin. Fingers dug into her shoulders, and she swore she could feel Chrisjen shudder, another breathless moan escaping from her throat. Bobbie yanked the zipper down and disposed of the belt in one smooth move and pulled back. Chrisjen already looked properly disheveled and she had barely started. She had the chance to catch a glimpse of the skin she had uncovered, before Chrisjen kissed her again, more forcefully this time, with teeth and tongue. 

Bobbie held her close, trying to give as good as she got, kind of wishing she had a bed, or any flat surface she could put Chrisjen on to have more freedom to move, to do what she wanted to, but she didn’t want to let her go. She wanted everything and she wanted it now. Bobbie started pulling on the flightsuit, pushing it past the older woman’s shoulders, nearly ripping the damn thing in the process. Chrisjen pulled her arms free off the sleeves before Bobbie managed to completely trap her. 

Sharp teeth sunk into Bobbie’s bottom lip and she groaned, her grip on Chrisjen’s waist tightening, only this time she didn’t feel the fabric of the flightsuit, this time she just felt smooth skin. She could feel her ribs as she moved her hands up, each breath the Earther took. And Bobbie was incredibly glad she wasn’t drunk anymore, because not being able to notice and memorize all the little details, she would have hated herself for that. She would have missed Chrisjen’s sharp inhale when her fingers brushed against her bra, or the hint of pain as the politician tugged gently at her bottom lip before releasing it and leaning back.

Bobbie felt breathless and that didn’t get any better when she looked at the woman in her lap. The flightsuit settled around her hips, the slight flush on her chest, the delicate lace of her bra. Chrisjen raised a challenging eyebrow and reached behind her, unhooked her bra and shrugged out of it in what felt like less than a second. Bobbie would have been impressed if she hadn’t lost the ability to think momentarily.

She had a half-naked Secretary-General straddling her thighs. She was beautiful, signs of her age everywhere, even in low gravity, the faintest of stretch marks on her stomach. She must have chosen not to have those removed. Chrisjen was completely unashamed in her nakedness, waiting as Bobbie catalogued everything and finally settled on her tits. She had known they would be fantastic, but knowing and actually knowing was different. 

“You’re staring.” Chrisjen actually sounded amused and Bobbie tore her gaze away from the hard nipples and looked at her face. Definitely amused. She moved her hands up to cup Chrisjen’s breasts. The weight of them in her palms felt incredibly good, the low groan she received when she squeezed even better. 

“Has anyone ever said you have amazing tits?” 

“It has been said, yes.” The words arrogant and smug came to mind but in this case, Bobbie couldn’t actually blame her. They really were amazing. Bobbie ducked down and swiped her tongue over a nipple. The reaction was instant, a gasp that she swore she could feel between her thighs, a hand flying to the back of her head, the nipple stiffening even more. Bobbie smirked. Chrisjen was really sensitive or just desperate for it. Either way, she was going to enjoy exploiting it. 

With a hand on Chrisjen’s ass, she forced the older woman higher up on her knees. Bobbie already didn’t have enough room to move on this chair, she didn’t need it to be any more difficult than necessary. And now what she wanted was a lot easier to reach. She could wrap her lips around Chrisjen’s nipple without a crick in her neck. 

Chrisjen’s nails dragged over Bobbie’s scalp, strangled noises escaping from her throat, as Bobbie dragged her tongue over her nipple, sucking it into her mouth. She squeezed the soft flesh of the politician’s other breast. She wasn’t religious, but some things deserved to be worshipped. Bobbie undoubtedly left marks everywhere, teeth biting down on sensitive skin, her tongue soothing the indentations. 

A harsh tug on her hair made her switch sides and she couldn’t help but grin. Chrisjen usually got she wanted. It figured she wouldn’t be any different when it came to sex. And for once Bobbie wasn’t going to argue. Making the Earther moan and tremble gave her far too much of a rush. She had dreamed of making the UN top tremble in their boots, just not quite like this. This was better, less death and more orgasms, hopefully.

Bobbie briefly wondered anyone in the MMC would think if they could see her now, the Secretary-General of the planet they had recently had an all-out war with on her lap, her tits glistening with saliva, and Bobbie who just couldn’t get enough of her. The MMC would probably have her committed, or executed for treason. Right now, it was all worth it. She sank her teeth into a nipple and pulled gently.

“Fuck,” Chrisjen moaned, her nails digging into Bobbie’s shoulder. Bobbie pressed her thighs together, needing some relief as she tugged a little harder before releasing. Chrisjen whimpered, actually whimpered, and then tilted Bobbie’s head up so she could kiss her again, an almost desperation in her movements. Especially as she grabbed Bobbie’s wrist and moved it down to where the zipper ended, the message extremely clear.

Bobbie slid her hand further down, slipping it inside the flightsuit and the lace panties that perfectly matched the bra that lay forgotten on the deck. She encountered short curls, soft skin and a wetness that covered her fingertips. Chrisjen gasped softly, pulling back a little. Her pupils were blown wide and her lips were swollen. A lock of hair had fallen in front of her face and Bobbie yearned to push it away, but her hands were rather full. 

Slowly she traced the slick folds, watching Chrisjen’s reactions, listening for the changes in her breathing, for the soft moans, finding her sensitive spots. Bobbie circled her clit and got a whispered ‘motherfucker’ as a response. She did it again, and Chrisjen sucked in a breath through clenched teeth. 

The tight flightsuit was constricting her movements and her options, but judging from Chrisjen’s responses, Bobbie would definitely be able to get her off like this. And she’d show her what she was truly capable of once she had her naked on a bunk or any flat surface really. Didn’t even need to be horizontal. All the time spent aboard Martian ships with very little room for privacy had made her resourceful. 

Chrisjen started rocking her hips with Bobbie’s movements, setting a rhythm that left her panting. She grabbed the headrest to steady herself, actually managing to squeeze the gel with her tight grip, which was pretty impressive.

“Inside,” Chrisjen breathed, a strange combination of an order and a plea. Bobbie would love to tease her, push her to actually beg, but the teeth of zipper were biting into her arm and the less than comfortable position was causing an ache in her wrist. And she was just dying to find out what Chrisjen looked like when she came. 

Bobbie slipped her hand lower, carefully pushing two fingers inside. Chrisjen shuddered, muttering what was undoubtedly a string of curse words in what sounded like French. Leave it to the Earther to start speaking a different language while being fingerfucked. It was oddly endearing. Bobbie leaned up and captured her lips in an openmouthed kiss swallowing Chrisjen’s moans as she started moving her fingers. 

She didn’t have enough room to properly fuck her, not in the way Chrisjen clearly needed it. Her sounds started to become desperate, a plethora of barely understandable curse words washing over Bobbie, as her fingers slid in and out, her palm rubbing against her clit. Bobbie guessed she was getting close when all of a sudden Chrisjen arched her back, her mouth falling open in a silent scream, muscles clenching like a vice around Bobbie’s fingers. 

Bobbie watched the look of pure ecstasy on Chrisjen’s face, forgetting how to breathe for a moment. It was beautiful, it was incredibly hot. She could feel how wet she was, how much wetter she became just watching Chrisjen come. It could have gone on forever, but the tension left her body and Bobbie managed to quickly remove her hand from the flightsuit before Chrisjen pretty much collapsed, her forehead leaning against Bobbie’s, arms trembling.  

“We could have picked a better fucking place to do this.” Bobbie chuckled and finally tucked the errant lock of hair behind Chrisjen’s ear. Fun as that was, she didn’t think she would ever pick one of those chairs to fuck in again. 

“I suggested the table in the mess.” 

“Next time.” Chrisjen’s breathy reply instantly made Bobbie envision her on that table, hair spread out, the light behind her, head tilted back. She wondered if she could bribe Johnson’s guys out there to keep everybody off the ship for the next few hours. She’d never fucked anyone in ops before and she’d love to bend Chrisjen in several positions up there. “Why are you still fully dressed?” 

Chrisjen tugged on the strap of Bobbie’s top, looking at it as if the piece of clothing had personally offended her. Bobbie looked down, at the letters UNN on her chest. Maybe she had been a little too focused on Chrisjen, but then she had been the one with the balls, albeit drunk, to do something about her crush. “Because you didn’t take anything off me.”

“Hmm. I should remedy that. But not here. My knees are fucking killing me and the blood supply to my feet might be permanently cut off.” Chrisjen winced as she tried to move and Bobbie could imagine that she was hurting a little. Her age probably didn’t help any. Grabbing Chrisjen under her thighs, she got up from the chair, easily lifting the older woman. Chrisjen just looked mildly annoyed, even with her arms around Bobbie’s neck. “Didn’t I threaten you once if you would ever try to pick me up?”

“You told me to ‘try it’. Not so much a threat as a challenge.”

“Get me to a bed and I’ll show you which one it is.” 

“Are you sure your knees can handle that?” She was teasing, but maybe she should have learned not to poke the dragon because Chrisjen pulled herself closer, her lips brushing against Bobbie’s ear, her voice soft, low and absolutely threatening when she spoke.

“I don’t need my knees to make you scream.” Bobbie swallowed, her grip on Chrisjen’s thighs tightening. Fuck. Chrisjen looked extremely smug when she pulled back. She knew she had the Martian wrapped around her finger. Bobbie would be annoyed, if she didn’t want to find out whether Chrisjen could make her scream. The woman didn’t really make empty threats. Fuck it. No more teasing.

“Let’s get to a bed then.”