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Murder, Crime, and Love

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He was starting to get frustrated. This isn't what Hanzawa expected when he came to Tokyo! Tokyo was supposed to be big, with some nice, affordable properties. But the only affordable properties were murder stigmatized properties, as the Real Estate Agency Owner always pointed out the way someone was killed in those properties.

The few non-stigmatized properties, however, were priceless. Unaffordable. If he wanted to stay in Tokyo, he'd have to settle for a stigmatized property. And how he hated that! But then, thanks to the wisdom of an elementary school boy, he ends up trying to look for a room in a stigmatized shared house. After all it's fine, if they all live in a stigmatized property together, right?

But soon after they arrive there, he starts worrying. What if he ends up annoyed by his house mates? Killing would be no option, as he would be asked about an alibi for sure.

That's when he meets Hanbayashi, one of his house mates.

He's tall, taller than Hanzawa, and he wears a grey woolen hat with a skull emblem. His steel grey eyes pierce through him like a knife. But different from a knife it doesn't make his heart slow down until it stops beating, but instead makes it beat really fast now.

He finds himself drawn towards the handsome man. He introduces himself and they immediately bond over the fact that they both want to kill the Real Estate Agency Owner that brought Hanzawa here, because he keeps pointing out the way people have died in the stigmatized properties and it's annoying them.

Hanzawa decides to stay, as living in a stigmatized property can't be too bad when he already has found a friend like Hanbayashi. They start hanging out together a lot!

Hanzawa finds out that Hanbayashi likes to party, and that he's a rapper. Also he loves murder, murdering, killing and crime stories. Hanzawa has similar interests, but unlike Hanbayashi, he's never been one for partying.
For once because he's not really a social person and most people annoy him to the point where he wants to kill him, for other because he grew up in the countryside in a village with not that many peers his age.

Hanbayashi laughs and calls him country bumpkin boy. Usually it would make him angry, being called like that, but it sounds special when it comes from Hanbayashi and he feels warm inside. It's almost like an affectionate pet name.

Hanbayashi shows him around a lot, too. As he's been raised in Tokyo, he knew about all the good non-stigmatized places. He takes him to party with him, because that's what's important to him and he wants to share that with Hanzawa. But not just that. He also takes him to nice, secluded places without many people, because that's what Hanzawa likes and feels comfortable with.

Hanzawa really enjoys this, because he never had a friend like Hanbayashi before, being all big and buff and just cool, with those incredible killer eyes he has.

The more time Hanzawa spends with him, the more he feels like there's a deep bond they're sharing, despite knowing each other for such a short time. But sometimes it's just like that, that there are some people that you click with, just like the click of a gun before it's being shot.

The more time they spend together, the more time Hanzawa wants to spend with Hanbayashi. Hanbayashi seems to feel the same, as he comes seeking him out in his room – after knocking. He's not some barbarian after all!

He wakes Hanzawa for breakfast, sometimes even breakfast in bed, and Hanzawa always makes some space for Hanbayashi so they can both be under the warm blankets.

When they're outside, Hanbayashi gives him his coat when he's cold – honestly, fuck winter! If it didn't involve actually going out in the cold, he would turn full arsonist and burn the snow down – so that he wouldn't get sick. And because he's a gentleman like this, Hanbayashi would also wrap his scarf around Hanzawa.

He also made sure to always hold Hanzawa's hand when there was a big crowd so that he wouldn't get lost.
And from time to time he would also treat him to dinner.

Hanzawa feels warm and his stomach fuzzy when he think's about that, and he almost fears that someone might've poisoned him. But when he doesn't drop dead, he actually sits down to think about what might have caused this feeling.

It couldn't have been the food, as Hanbayashi cooked for them. Just the two of them, since the other people in their shared house were “busy” as Hanbayashi told him. It had been really nice too, sharing a nice dinner in even nicer company.
There it is again, that tingling feeling.

He suddenly remembers what his mom told him when he left for Tokyo (besides warning him from people trying to take advantage of him): that she hoped for him to find someone he wants to live with and whom he would be able trust with his life and – more importantly – with a knife.

When Hanzawa thinks about it, he realizes that yes, he would trust Hanbayashi with both, and even with a gun.

Now that he has realized his true feelings for Hanbayashi, he has to think of a way to convey those feelings to him.

But everything he comes up with is already being done by Hanbayashi!

So he has to come up with something else, so Hanbayashi will realize his feelings without him having to voice them. He just hopes that Hanbayashi isn't an oblivious, blind, loveable idiot, not realizing what Hanzawa's trying to say!

He stays up all night, planning to confess without actually confessing and once he's done with his Killer Confessing Plan, he goes to sleep so he can start working on his plan early (or as early as you can, when staying up until half past 3 in the morning.)

Hanzawa gets woken up by Hanbayashi coming in with coffee as dark as their souls and asks about his plans for the evening. Hanzawa tells him truthfully that he has something to do but he would be free the entire following day.

Hanbayashi awkwardly rubs his neck and says: “Oh, okay sure. See you tomorrow then?” and Hanzawa almost feels bad when Hanbayashi leaves, but he's a man on a mission! So he gets to work!

A nice bouquet and a card to write a poem on, a vial, as well as gloves and a marble bust is all he needs before he can put his plan into action!

He uses the bust to kill the Real Estate Agency Owner and takes some of his blood with him. He has to run away quickly when some weird elementary schooler asks him what he's doing and wants to stop him.

Not like it wasn't already too late for the Real Estate Agency Owner anyway!

Back at home, in the safety of his room, he writes a poem with the blood of the Real Estate Agency Owner, which he intends to give Hanbayashi the next day.

He's quite pleased with himself for writing such a romantic poem and goes to bed.

The next day he gets up early, but happy and well rested. He's a bit nervous, too. After all today would be the day he would indirectly confess to Hanbayashi!

Hanzawa goes to the common room, expecting Hanbayashi to be there. When he sees that he isn't he settles to watch some TV until his loveable idiot wakes up. Hanzawa smiles and turns on the TV.

There he sees's him, his Hanbayashi, taken in by the police for the murder of the Real Estate Agency Owner, which is stupid and bullshit because he, Hanzawa was the one to kill him! Honestly, can't the police get anything right?

No matter what that stupid only witness, an elementary school boy, is saying. What did he do out that late anyway? His guardians should be arrested for letting a child wander around in the night on his own! What if something had happened to him? They're the true criminals!

After Hanbayashi is taken in as the murderer of the Real Estate Agency Owner, who sold stigmatized properties way too cheap and non-stigmatized properties way too expensive, Hanzawa desperately tries to come up with a plan to get him out of jail.

His plan finally takes form, when he reads a manga called Detective Kogoro, in which the detective named Kogoro tries to convince everyone of him being a really cool detective (when he's obviously not) by doing the same stupid mistake again and again. So he puts himself into Kogoros shoes, and does the same (totally not stupid!) thing again:

meaning he kills another Real Estate Agency Owner the same way he killed the first one. The police has to realize that it must be a serial killer, who Hanbayashi totally can't be because he was stuck in jail when the second murder occured.

He is such a genius!

So Hanzawa gets himself another marble bust, and kills another Real Estate Agency Owner, who is trying to sell stigmatized property by making it cheap when non-stigmatized property was priceless.
Just according to his plan, the police starts to consider that it might be a serial killer on the loose, killing all those Real Estate Agency Owners.

And just to make them be sure of that, he kills another Real Estate Agency Owner, getting himself the nickname of “The Real Estate Agency Owner Murderer”.

He's quite proud of himself for earning that nickname. But he's even prouder when his plan actually works and Hanbayashi is set free. And just for good measure and to celebrate that Hanbayashi is set free, Hanzawa kills a fourth Real Estate Agency Owner, making him a legend as “The Never Caught Four-Time Real Estate Agency Owner Serial Killer Murderer”

Hanbayashi obviously realized that it had been Hanzawa, and he had been really proud of his country bumpkin boy this entire time! Hanzawa blushes when he hears him say that and decides that it's better late than never. He is really nervous when he gives Hanbayashi the (new) bouquet of bloody red roses, along with his card.

Hanbayashi reads it:

Blood is red
My heart is blue
Please go out with me
I killed a man for you.
               four men


Hanbayashi blushes. He did not expect Hanzawa to be this bold. But then he nods, and before Hanzawa can react in anyway, Hanbayashi grabs him by his shoulders and dip kisses him.

Several years later.

Many crimes had been committed by them together. The police never caught them. They were untouchable as a team! And they decided to become a team forever!

So they kidnap a priest to seal their eternal bond.

Hanbayashi looks at Hanzawa. “I swear, that I will always be loyal and that I will always protect you from the law, until death do us part. Our death, not somebody elses.”

Hanzawa almost starts crying when hearing that. He has never heard such beautiful words from someone else before!

He takes a moment to breathe before he replies: “I swear that I will always be there to literally shoot back any bullet that might come at you and make sure that you will be the last one standing.”

The terrified priest closes the ceremony with the words: “You may now kiss your murderer.”

And they kiss, now and forever bonded in murder, crime, and love.