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It hadn’t been easy when Lewis rejoined the group, to say the least. Arthur had just discovered that not only was his best friend dead, but that it had been by his hand, however unintentional it was. Lewis had managed to save Arthur before he, too, had fallen victim to the stalagmites, but only just barely.
There had been a lot of blood, and a lot of screaming, because even Lewis wasn’t entirely sure why he had decided to save Arthur in that moment. Something about his broken, confused tone of voice perhaps; despite all of the evidence stacked against Arthur, that wasn’t the tone of voice somebody used after murdering their best friend.
So yes, there had been a lot of pain from all parties, physically and mentally. But after Lewis rejoined the group, everything would eventually fall into place and they would be a happy group of paranormal investigators, just like before.
Right?
And yet somehow, even after all of the pain and anger and heartbreak that the group had endured, all four of them were terrible at communicating with each other.
Lewis had explained to Vivi what had happened, in a sense… That he had woken up in the cave, skeletal hands clutching a golden locket as he gagged over his own rotting corpse. He told her about how he had fallen, and seen Arthur’s face smiling back at him, not quite noticing the green tinge to his arm. He tiptoed around the fact that he could still feel the harsh shove on his back if he let his mind drift, and definitely tiptoed around the fact that his sole reason for continuing to exist on the physical plane had been to get revenge on Arthur; the blond was feeling enough guilt and horror over the situation as is.
The day had started off innocently enough, like any other day. Vivi had gone to the diner to get breakfast for those who could still eat, and Arthur… well…
He claimed to be pulling all-nighters: working on projects with the van, repairing his arm, tinkering with some new prosthetic upgrade… which Lewis might have believed, had he not seen the way Arthur flinched every time he stepped into the room. Pretty much any time Lewis looked at Arthur now, in fact, he would grab his arm like it was the only thing keeping him grounded from having a full-blown panic attack.
And really, who could blame him? Lewis had just spent several weeks trying to hunt down his former best friend, whom Arthur hadn’t even known was dead to begin with. So really, to Lewis it just felt like Arthur was trying to avoid him, and for now he wasn’t really sure what else to do but give the blond time and space.
It was such a stark contrast from how things used to be; Lewis had met Arthur in middle school, after saving him from a group of bullies going after his latest robotics project. That one chance encounter had turned into countless afternoons spent playing Super Smash Bros. (which Arthur always won), one-sided discussions about the pros and cons of various engineering concepts (which Lewis could never wrap his head around but Arthur always looked so happy talking about them so the least he could do was listen), sharing school lunches and teaching Arthur how to cook at his families restaurant (because dammit, Arthur, you can’t just survive on milkshakes and seafood pizza EAT A VEGETABLE). And every time the kids at school tried to pick on Arthur, or the Mystery Skulls went to a creepy abandoned house that was Probably Haunted, Arthur always hid behind Lewis. To Arthur, Lewis was someone he could trust unconditionally, someone who would protect him to the best of his ability.
And now, Lewis had almost killed his best friend over a terrible misunderstanding.
Lewis was so wrapped up in bittersweet memories of the past that he didn’t even hear the clinking of keys at the doorway, announcing Vivi’s return. And all of a sudden, he felt a slap on the back and-
“Lewis, why don’t you and Arthur take the path on the left? Mystery and I will take the path on the right. This spirit has to be in here somewhere!”
“Vivi, are- are you really sure that the- that this is such a good idea? What if there is a demon and it ends up cornering us or what if it corners YOU and you can’t get away or-“
“Arthur, relax. I’ll be right here to protect you, and I think Vivi is more than capable of defending herself if she needs to. Besides, we won’t be separated for too long anyway. What’s the worst that could happen?”
“A LOT COULD HAPPEN-“
But Arthur’s concerns went unanswered, the group already splitting up with Vivi bounding down the path with sparkling eyes. Lewis did, admittedly, feel bad for putting Arthur through something that so clearly stressed him out, but they really needed the money from this job (and honestly, Lewis wanted to get out of here as quickly as possible too, so better to cover more ground by splitting up.
Right?)
Lewis came upon the main part of the cavern shortly, the orange light of his torch casting a sickly shine over the green stalagmites. It was almost beautiful, in a way; the cave floor had plateaued off, an almost glassy, mirrorlike quality to it as it abruptly ended in a cliff. On the cave floor and ceiling, the stalactites and stalagmites sparkled dimly, and the whole cave had a misty, faded appearance.
“Hey Arthur, you should come look at these rock formations! Be careful of the cliff though, looks like quite a drop down there and this floor seems kinda slippery!”
But Arthur never responded. His breathing sounded a bit labored, but Lewis just figured that might be due to the steep incline of the path. And just as Lewis began turning around to see if Arthur was okay, he felt a harsh shove on his shoulder and he was suddenly falling faster, faster, Arthur’s smiling face looking down on him as he-
And suddenly Lewis couldn’t breathe, he didn’t even need to breathe anymore but he felt like he was being stabbed in the chest again and again every time he drew a shallow breath in (painfully shallow, his mouth was filled with the taste of copper and he was choking and everything hurt so much-). He distantly heard Vivi yelling, heard something clink against the floor but it was as if he was drowning- everything sounded muffled, his vision fuzzy at the edges. And rationally, some part of his mind probably knew that he wasn’t actually back in the cave, that Arthur wasn’t going to hurt him again and had never meant to hurt him in the first place. But then again, no one’s brain ever really works rationally when you’re reliving your death through a panic attack.
Lewis couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe couldn’t think couldn’t do anything, his body just waiting for the falling sensation to come and the stalagmite to pierce through his chest and his vision to go grey as his life force bled out of him onto the cave floor and-
His panicked thoughts suddenly screeched to a halt as his physical form retreated into his anchor, as close to unconsciousness as he could get anymore, and for a brief moment the world was black.
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When Lewis reformed, it was not on the cold linoleum of the kitchen floor, but rather a soft and creaky bed. Head still fuzzy from the earlier panic, he dimly noted that his anchor had been placed in Arthur’s room. The door was cracked open, indicating that Arthur had left the room, but would probably be back shortly.
Arthur had always been a bit of a mess when it came to his room, but it seemed to be even messier now that Lewis had rejoined the group and shaken things up. Stray T-shirts and bolts lay haphazardly on the floor, just waiting to be tripped over. Arthur’s desk had been made into a makeshift work table, with sheet metal, blueprints, and various tools covering every square inch of the surface in a sort of organized chaos. The bed, oddly enough, was the one thing that seemed to be in order. Faintly, Lewis wondered if that might be Arthur’s anxious attempt at making him more comfortable in his anchor. He couldn’t feel anything while he was drifting in his anchor, but his heart warmed at the thought nonetheless.
With a soft knock, Arthur announced his presence at the door. He looked minimally surprised to see Lewis awake (how long had it been since he became unconscious?), but he made his way over to the bed. Clutching his left arm in an anxious manner (as he tended to do around Lewis), he gently sank onto the other end of the creaky bed.
And for a moment, all was quiet. Lewis continued to look around Arthur’s room, reminiscing over things he recognized and slowly coming back to himself.
“You know, I can’t really see out of my left eye anymore.”
“What?” Lewis whipped his head around to look at Arthur. He was avoiding Lewis’ eyes as usual, but underneath the anxiety lay a haunted, exhausted quality to his body.
“I think… I think it had something to do with how the demon was severed from my body. Technically, the demon took control of my left arm and was able to see out of my left eye. So when Mystery… when Mystery bit my arm off, the connection was severed so quickly that the demon was ripped out of my body and contained to my arm… I think that must have severed the connection it had gained to my optic nerves, so I can’t see very much out of that eye anymore…”
Arthur’s hands were shaking, but his voice was somehow tired at the same time.
“I can see light and shadows, and a bit of movement, but that’s pretty much it. So any time somebody approaches me from my left side without warning, I get startled really easily. Doesn’t help that sometimes my hearing on that side is muffled too.
For the longest time, I just thought that a rock had hit me on the head, damaged my occipital lobe and caused my vision to go in my left eye. Figured that might be why I couldn’t remember what the fuck happened to us in the cave, either.
But now that I know what happened, now that I can remember that fucking demon and how it felt in my body…”
Arthur couldn’t keep the tremor out of his voice any more, and Lewis desperately wanted to give him a hug, but didn’t know if Arthur would still flinch away from the touch or not. And, knowing Arthur, if he stopped talking, he would never be able to finish.
“Now that I remember the feeling of losing control of myself, I’m worried that every little shadow I see out of the corner of my eye is going to be round two. That I won’t be expecting it, and the demon will just leap out at me and take over my body again and go back to finish the job.” Arthur’s voice cracked on the final word, and he took a moment to take a shaky breath before continuing,
“I didn’t mean to make this about me. I guess all that… I guess all I’m trying to say is that that cave fucked over all of us, and none of us will think anything less of you for having triggers. You have more reason than anybody to be traumatized by that whole clusterfuck of events. Just a matter of finding out what those triggers are,” he finished weakly.
Arthur finally turned his head to look at Lewis, eyes flitting down to the cracked locket on the pillow. It looked almost as bad as it did right after Lewis had dropped Arthur off of the cliffside; a dark grey hue, cracks splintering through every square inch of the thing. Lewis looked at the locket with a sense of numb horror, terrified that one panic attack had almost shaken his hold on the mortal plane permanently.
“You gave us quite a scare there, Lew. Vivi thought you had damaged your anchor beyond repair with how cracked it became.
“I wasn’t there for all of it but… please talk to us about it, okay? It’ll be hard to talk about, and there’ll probably be a lot of crying, but we need to establish what you’re- what everyone’s comfortable with. It doesn’t have to be right now, but… I can’t bear the thought of losing my best friend a second time-“
And Lewis finally cut Arthur off, squeezing him in a hug so desperately needed by the both of them. Arthur flinched slightly (and God, if that didn’t send another small crack through his heart at how different their relationship had become), but it only took a split second before Arthur was hugging Lewis back just as desperately, if not more so.
“You’re right, Arthur. It’s gonna be difficult talking about everything that happened in the cave, but clearly just keeping my emotions hidden isn’t going to be doing anyone any favors either. I didn’t really know I was going to react like that, honestly…
I haven’t exactly interacted with very many people since I’ve reawakened, not to mention being touched by people. So I guess I can’t promise this will be the last time I panic about something, but…”
“But we’ll always be there for you, Lew.”
With a startle, the two turned towards the door, where Vivi was standing with watery eyes.
“We’ll get through this, just like we always do. It might take a while, but we’ll get there”.
Vivi padded over to the bed, uncharacteristically subdued as she joined in the hug. And things weren’t… okay, yet. It would take a while before Arthur could look at Lewis without flinching. Before Vivi could stop feeling guilty over slapping Lewis’ back, over what was meant to be a friendly and affectionate gesture. And it would definitely take a while before Arthur would stop feeling guilty for the possession, despite it being out of his control. So yes, things weren’t quite okay yet, the air still having a sense of fragility to it.
And yet, as Lewis continued to hug Arthur and Vivi, he could feel some of the cracks in his exhausted heart start to mend themselves back together.