Chapter Text
1
Amanda Loves Akko
"Miss Kagari, I, more than anyone, am very excited that you can finally fly a broom," Professor Nelson said.
"Thanks, professor!" Akko said.
"But that doesn't give you free reign to fly around at all hours of the night!"
Akko, who had been brimming with pride, wilted under the professor's scolding.
"Tch, come on, Nelson. She can get off the ground, but she has a lot of catching up to do," Amanda O'Neill said, lacing her fingers behind her head.
"And you think you're the one to help her, Amanda?" Nelson asked.
The flight grounds were dark, save for Nelson's lantern. Amanda's broom was tucked in the crook of her elbow while she stood tall and lithe and nonchalant. Akko was leaning against hers like an old woman with her cane.
Amanda felt a familiar mixture of irritation, anger, defiance, and shame. It was like this every time she and Professor Nelson went head to head. Usually it was the irritation that won out, but right now it was the anger. It was one thing to go after Amanda.
But Akko was off-limits.
"I'm the best flyer in the whole damn school. I'm better than the fourth years, I'm better than Diana, hell, I might even be better than you," Amanda said. She stood up straighter and gripped the broom like a warrior with a spear. Nelson stood steady and unblinking.
"You might be right, Amanda. I've already told you that you have more talent than your grandmother, and she was the best. But you're going to get yourself hurt, or worse, because you won't listen to me. The sad thing is that I've come to terms with that."
Nelson leaned forward. Amanda was taller than the professor, but Nelson felt fifty feet tall.
"I will not come to terms with the idea that you'll get Miss Kagari, or any other student, hurt because of your recklessness."
It took every once of willpower Amanda had to keep stone-faced. For the first time, the shame was winning. And the shame was turning into sadness as her favorite professor turned and picked up her lantern.
"Next time I catch either of you flying outside practice hours, I'm telling Hollbrooke."
Nelson held out a hand, and her broom rushed into her grip. She swung onto the handle, and was out of sight within moments.
Akko sighed.
"That was close," she said. Akko's shoulders were drooped forward, and she was leaning almost all of her weight onto the broom.
Amanda swooped in and held her close.
"You shouldn't have been so rude to Professor Nelson," Akko said. Her voice was muffled because Amanda was pressing her into her chest.
"I couldn't let her talk to you like that," Amanda said. She was suddenly very glad it was dark, and that Akko wasn't looking at her, because she had a feeling the blush on her cheeks was a bright as her hair.
Akko looked up at her. The moonlight twinkled in her eyes.
"Always my knight in shining armor. Always my protective prince."
"Shut up you big dork," Amanda said.
She leaned forward and kissed Akko.
--
That night at the flight grounds was two weeks after May Fair, the day that Akko finally learned to fly.
It was the last beautiful night Amanda had with Akko.
The next month and a half was a whirlwind. Amanda had planned to stay at Luna Nova over the summer break, but she got the message from home that Nana wasn't doing so well, and that she needed to head back. She and Akko had promised to keep in touch, to send emails and messages and texts and scrolls and enchanted memories sealed up in those tiny green bottles.
But Akko was Akko. Amanda only got two messages, and they were both corrupted because Akko hadn't done the spells right.
It was equal parts cute and annoying. Her helpless, reckless, little Akko.
Amanda rode her broom into the night sky and was cold. She never thought she'd have a chance to fly above the harbors at Martha's Vineyard, but now that Akko had restored magic to the world, there was more than enough power to take a little jaunt. She didn't even have to hide it - in fact, the few people that saw her cheered and waved and sent more magic into the air.
Amanda flew to the beach, then beyond it and over the waves. The ocean was a roiling expanse of ink beneath her.
She stood on the broom and looked down at the abyss.
If she slipped, that would be the end, she thought.
Amanda had gotten one last message from Akko. She received it about an hour ago. Amanda knew right away that something was different. This message was an enchanted scroll, a piece of parchment that unrolled itself and then magically created a quill pen that wrote out the message. Only the intended recipient, Amanda, could see what was written.
This was very delicate, very classy magic, Amanda had realized. Akko didn't know how to do that.
Dear Amanda,
I miss you a lot! Summer has been hard without you around. How was staying with your family? Is everything all right with your grandmother?
Don't worry about me. I've been staying with Diana the last few weeks, and we're having a great time.
When we get back to Luna Nova, let's have a long talk, okay?
See you soon,
Akko
A long talk.
That couldn't be good.
"See you soon," Amanda repeated, her words being carried by the wind. Not "love." Not "love you."
Just "see you soon."
--
It was Amanda who asked Akko out.
Her classmates were not surprised when word got out about Amanda pursuing Akko. After all, wasn't Amanda always so cocky? So dashing? So hot-blooded and reckless? Of course Amanda would go after what she wanted.
Of course Amanda would put herself out there.
But the truth was, it was a lot harder than it looked from the outside.
Amanda knew Akko was different since the day of the race. She had tamed the legendary broom, gone toe-to-toe with Amanda, and had a hot-blooded, indomitable spirit that Amanda found sexy and inspiring. If she could have dated her right then, she would have.
Except it's never that easy.
Is she straight? Bi? Lesbian?
This question weighed on Amanda for weeks. She watched Akko out of the corner of her eye whenever she could, looking for clues. Did she ever check out the other girls? Did she flirt or kiss any of them, even as a joke? Did anyone know anything about her past? Had she dated a guy before? A girl? Anyone?
The only hard evidence Amanda had was Andrew.
And all that went out the window after she and Akko snuck into Appleton Academy.
Metamorphi vestes to look like a prince. A dashing sword fight with another young man to show her skill. Saving Akko from the clutches of a bunch of over-horny, repressed young men, to show her that men were overrated.
And Amanda had been right.
Maybe she had been hopped up on the adrenaline of defeating that enchanted set of armor. Maybe she had been a lot closer to death, and new that risks had to be taken.
Whatever the reason, she asked Akko to go on a date with her that night as they stood in the dormitory hallway.
And Akko said yes.
That yes was an impossible yes, to Amanda. She felt unstoppable at that moment. She was on top of the world. She had found this adorable young woman: confident and fiery and passionate and determined, but balanced with a tender, helpless quality that made Amanda want to take care of her forever.
And now, she was going to see her "soon."
And they were going to "talk."
Fuck.
--
"I'm going to lose her," Amanda said.
"What's that, dear?"
Amanda's whole body seized up, her eyes wide.
"Nana! I didn't know you were awake," Amanda said, hurriedly. "Are you okay, can I get you anything?"
"I'm fine, Amanda," her grandmother said, her words lilting with her Irish accent.
Nana was convalescing at her small cottage. It was one of Amanda's favorite places in the whole world. The cottage had been built by Nana and Grandpop on a tiny island off the New England coast, not too far from Martha's Vineyard. The island didn't show up on any map, and it was long ago enchanted so that passing sailors would just ignore the place.
Everything was made of rough hewn wood, either by Grandpop's two hands or Nana's magic. There were ancient books, drying herbs, a potion brewing table that would make Sucy drool with envy, and a strange curios cabinet with items of sentimental and magical importance. The walls had tapestries and paintings from Ireland, but mixed in with lots of New England décor: seashells, paintings of boats, that sort of stuff.
This was where Amanda had learn to ride a broom and cast her first spells. This was where Amanda had learned that she had come from a long line of cailleach, the Irish witches. This was where she felt most at home, where she could be comfortable with who she was.
Grandpop had died ten years ago. Nana was going to follow soon.
Amanda wasn't sure how she could live in a world without her.
"Who is it you're going to lose, Amanda?"
Amanda sat in a chair beside Nana's bed. She gripped her knees and felt herself folding over, trying to make her tall figure as small as possible. She hadn't told anyone in her family that she was gay. Not that it mattered. Nothing Amanda did was good enough for her parents, anyway.
What was one more disappointment?
"No one, Nana."
"Do you love her?"
This caught Amanda off guard. She sat up, looking over at Nana, whose eyes were green and twinkling, still full of mischief.
"I may be old, but I still remember what it's like to be a young woman in love. You've been sad and distracted since you got here."
"Sorry Nana."
"No need to be sorry, dear. I'm dying, there's nothing you can do about that, and you've given up your whole summer break to be with me. I can't ask for more. But enough about that, stop dodging the question. It's the Kagari girl, isn't it? What was her name, Aiko?"
"Akko," Amanda said. The name lifted her heart and spread a smile on her face.
"Ah, there it is. The smile of someone in love."
"I'm going to lose her, Nana."
"Why do you think that?"
"I just…am. After what happened, when Akko and Diana stopped the missile…it hasn't been the same."
"You stopped the missile too."
"Not like they did. Yeah, I helped, but I wasn't there at the end. I didn't wield the Shiny Rod. I didn't kill the beast."
"And you wish you had?"
"I…I don't know. I wish Akko hadn't done it with Diana. Ever since then, they've shared something that I don't understand. And now she's spent all summer with Diana at the Cavendish estate. I've only received one message from her, and it was that we needed to talk when we got back to Luna Nova."
"That does sound bad…"
"Nana!"
"I have to be practical, Amanda. And so do you."
"So I have lost her."
"You have, if you give up right here. Come here, dear."
Amanda stood and sat on the edge of her Nana's bed.
"Your Akko is quite the young woman, having found the Grand Triskelion, used the Claíomh Solais, and brought magic back to the world. But the most important thing she did was give the message of hope to the world: to chase your dreams and follow your heart. You should do the same."
"I do follow my heart," Amanda said, her voice edged with defensiveness and defiance.
"You sometimes follow your heart. And sometimes you follow your temper in order to protect your heart. You're sad that you might lose your Akko, and if you're not careful, by the time you get to Luna Nova you'll be angry about it. And in your anger, you'll do and say things to keep everyone believing that you're tough, even though your heart will be asking you to do something else."
Amanda wanted to argue. But Nana was right.
"Follow my heart and Akko will come back to me?"
"You don't even know that she's left you, dear. You're making a lot of assumptions, which comes from your insecurity," Nana said, pushing a finger into Amanda's arm. "But let's be practical. She might not come back to you."
"Then why bother?"
"Because when you get to be my age, the worst thing you can have is regret. You'll regret if you don't pursue her with all your heart, even if it ends in heartbreak."
Amanda's heart ached. But it felt better than the despair.
She might get hurt. But she wasn't going to quit now.
Not for her Akko.
"Nana, do you mind if I go to Luna Nova tomorrow?"
"I insist on it."