Chapter Text
turntechGodhead [TG] joined channel
TransChat
TG: hey
TG: testing testing one two
TG: yeah i know several numbers
TG: be impressed
TG: clear the floor because mixmaster strider is
about to pull a total downer
TG: my obsession and self hatred has a beat and
you can dance to it
TG: ok it doesnt and you cant
TG: but it should
TG: that would be the most depressing dance
number ever
TG: get on the floor and look sad
TG:
TG: maybe later
TG:
TG: no one here
TG: just the channel bot
TG: good ok
TG: i dont know how to start this but thats fine
TG: no ones around to read this bullshit
TG: all my vague gender related thrashing
TG: look at me i fell off the nice pretty girl
boat
TG: now im waving my arms and panicking but
nothings happening
TG: yeah im sinking
TG: throw me a classic yellow life ring i need to
stay afloat a bit longer
TG: this is part metaphor part confession
because i cant say it to myself but maybe i can say it to nobody
TG: hello my name is *cough* strider and im
drowning in gender
TG: or maybe i just surfaced
TG: now ive got the genderbends
TG: woah original
TG: i dunno im not very committed to this tangent
TG: seriously though who the fuck am i
TG: it turns out making shitty comics and shittier
remixes isnt very productive when it comes to figuring out gender
TG: made some great shitty comics though
TG: hell fuckin yes
TG: so
TG: gender
TG: what even is it
TG: and why does it make me cover my mirrors
TG: and cut my hair with the kitchen scissors
TG: i did the worst fuckin job cutting my own
hair it looks like a birds nest
TG: or a bird
TG: just throwing this out there
TG: but
TG: what if
TG: i could stop fighting being a girl
TG: oh i dunno kid what if you could
TG: what would really change
TG: well maybe i wouldnt be so fuckin miserable
dumbass
TG: maybe there might be more friends in my life
TG: if i could just suck it up and be a dumb
girl
TG: wait
TG: yeah back the fuck up
TG: im being a dick
TG: maybe ive been thinking about things the
wrong way
TG: its easy to look at the way girls are
supposed to be
TG: and decide yeah thats not me
TG: and go on and think
TG: yeah girls are dumb
TG: but thats bullshit
TG: girls are fine
TG: but
TG: if girls could be different would that be ok
TG: if girls could be like boys would that be ok
TG: maybe for them
TG: but thats still not right for me
TG: i took a step up to that and turned away
TG: shits weird
TG: shits broken
TG: or its ok but im
TG: broken
TG: or
TG: i guess
TG: not a girl
TG: haha yeah look at that
TG: im not a girl
TG: turns out taking a stroll around my head was
all i needed
TG: just wandering around the striderbrain and
oh look i fell over a big fuckin neon sign
TG: that says "youre not a girl you dumbass"
TG: wait that makes no sense why would a neon
sign be at falling over height
TG: never mind
TG: haha i come here thinking theres ways to stop thinking i might be trans and accept being a girl
TG: now look at me
TG: five minutes alone with a hells of supportive empty chat room and i got myself all figured out
TG:
TG: so
TG: what now
TG: wheres the gender fairy come to tell me what to do next
TG: a bit of guidance would be nice
TG: am i a boy
TG: is there something inbetween
TG: help me fairy gendermother what happens next
TG: get over here with your genderbonnet on
and lay some wisdom on me
TG: if i click my heels together three times do
i get some self belief
UU: well it coUld be worth a try!
UU: bUt i find talking things oUt with a
friend is the best way forward. ^u^
TG: fuck
TG: youre not my fairy gendermother
TG: i thought you were a bot
TG: uh
turntechGodhead [TG] left channel TransChat
UU: :u