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Girls night out II (Gotham style)

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Girl’s Night Out Mark II

 

 

DHalpin’s note:  Ah… this has been a fun story to write, and some of the imagined visuals are most interesting (snicker, damn there would be some good posters!), but the end is nigh.  I assume that if you’re reading this then that you’ve enjoyed this little tale, which rather grew in the telling.  My goal was a fun night out for Illyana as socially, in canon at least, that appears to be rare for her.  Major shout-out to LordGrise as the whole including Ivy and Harley was his idea and that has led to a few fun side projects.  This is the last chapter, and I think that the prior chapter got really naughtily in a cleavage kind of way, oh well, this has become a girls gone wild type of event at this point (which was not my plan but guess the girls just wanted to cut loose).

 

I partially wrote this story by coming up with little funny snippets of interactions and then blended them together, which in part explains why it took so long.

 

Well, I hope you’ve enjoyed the ride.

 

 

Part 19a: THREE DAYS LATER, THAT MORNING (Part A)

 

We see a seedy bar in Marvel’s New York city, Sister Margaret’s School for Wayward Children to be more precise (yes it is a bar despite the name).  The interior is dark and smoky even though there are only three people present, the bar suffers from poor ventilation so last nights smoke was still present, as well as a few other things as the toilet was clogged yet again.

 

Deadpool is lounging up against the bar having a shot of very cheap whisky, Old Crow to be precise.  Ahhh… the drink of champions when price does not matter, other then you’re paying for the shot with spare change you found under the sofa.  The drink of heroes and it also makes a great paint brush cleaner if the more expensive turpentine is not available.  Deadpool is recounting his tale of woe, a tale of tail, and a tale of much more then two titties.

 

In the background the song Flesh For Fantasy by Bill Idol was playing from the jukebox.

 

Flesh

Flesh

Flesh for fantasy

We want, flesh

Flesh for fantasy

We want, flesh

Flesh for fantasy

You cry, flesh

Flesh for fantasy

 

“There I was, Time Square… and naked top shelf boobies for miles and miles.”

 

“Right…”  Was the less then believing comment from the bartender by the name of Weasel, a good friend of Deadpools.  “And this was after the supposed boobathone at Bloomindales?”

 

A nod from Deadpool.  “Yep.  Man oh man, that was a sight to see, Victoria Secret should really put on a show with some of the powered female class.”

 

A shrug from Weasel.  “Why?  I think more then a few guys already spanking the bishop with what’s available online.  I mean… try Googling Black Widow sometime.”

 

Deadpool gestured for a refill of his shot glass after counting out some change. “Anyway… to return to the subject at hand…”

 

“Meaning boobies…”  Added Weasel.

 

“Meaning boobies…”  Agreed Deadpool, a most important topic of private male dialog, a close second to beer and only surpassed by sports, and let’s face reality folks, there is a reason football combines all three once you add in the cheerleaders.  “That’s when this blizzard of absolute party poopers fell from the sky and interrupted the flesh fest of epic proportions.”

 

“That big eh?”  Was the leer of a comment from Weasel.  Big referring to… well… do I have explain his comment?

 

“Man… you have no idea.  Other then Jubilee’s tatter tots that is.  So there I was… up to my ears in prime grade knockers, not to mention all of that poontang on display, which I might add that Amazons shave some very interesting patterns into their pubic hair other then the one I nicknamed the woolly mammoth who was very très naturel, my guess is she thought shaving was a thing for Man’s World.”

 

A little shudder from Deadpool as he recollected.  “And she was a big girl as well… Anyway that was when one of my heroes literally fell out of the sky as…”

 

 

Part 19b: THREE DAYS LATER, THAT MORNING (Part B)

 

A sunny morning as Ivy and Harley, the dynamic duo (total copy-write swipe that they had actually received more then one lecture from Batman about such self descriptions) were engaged in a morning tanning session on the isolated and very private beach.  Well, a bit less dynamic at the moment as sun bathing is not the most active of events.  They were dressed in the most tiny of bikinis, bottoms that is as the top parts were currently on the table between the two lounge chairs that the two were using.  Ivy was partially reclined face up while Harley was fully reclined, face down, and working on her back.

 

A ping from Ivy’s phone that was underneath Ivy’s bikini top, next to a Pina Colada (Ivy’s) and a Rum Punch (Harley).  A ping that roused Ivy from her light slumber.  There was a bit of fumbling that spilled her top onto the sand before the phone was in her hand.  A click and the text was shown, it was from Selina and included some photos, which resulted in a slight frown from Ivy as she scrolled through the text.

 

Harley was likewise roused as Ivy said.  “Um… Harls?”

 

“Wha…”  Was Harley’s drowsing reply.

 

“Text from Catty.”

 

“Oh… what’s she up to?”

 

“She says she had a fun time.  Sorry we missed it.”

 

Harley became more awake as she glanced at Ivy.  “Missed what Pammy?”

 

Ivy made no answer, just offered the phone to Harley.  Who took it and likewise scrolled through the text, then pouted.  “Dang it Red…”

 

“We had a fun time.”  Pointed out Ivy, meaning Leonard.

 

“Really fun time.”  Agreed Harley with a naughty grin as she reminisced about the last few days.

 

“Can’t say we missed out.”  Continued Ivy.

 

“No… but…”  Harley looked at the photo of a black hole eating a very large space station, then one with all the girls posing with Meatloaf with what looked like naked Amazons in he background, then a third showing a very strange looking bar scene with what looked like lots of unknown supers getting drunk.  “Still looks like the evening did not die down like we thought it would.”

 

A nod of agreement from Ivy.  “Nope.”

 

“Next time we stick with Illy.”  Has Harleys conclusion.  “Looks like when she has a fun time it gets really wild.”

 

With that it was time for a bit more sun time.

 

 

Part 19c: THREE DAYS LATER

 

Batman was stern as he stood and attempted to rebuke Illyana.  “Magik I’m very…”

 

Barf...

 

“Your actions were completely…”

 

Vomit…

 

“Do you have any idea…”

 

Spew…

 

“This is going to take…”

 

BBBLLLLLAAALLLLLRRRRPPHHHH!!...

 

This … was not going well, but Batman attempted to persevere.  “Diana is very distressed about the tentacled creature that has somehow taken up residence on Themiscyra and is claiming to be some sort of accredited ambassador and that to remove him would be…”

 

Gasp… pause for breath.  A murmured “oh god… kill me now.” from Illyana; then more vomiting.

 

Bruce trailed off on his attempted rebukes as it was rather plain that Illyana was very distracted and not paying him any attention.  Now Batman was a master at dealing with almost any situation, but a young woman on her knees vomiting her guts out while he attempted to lecture her was really not on the list.

 

And…

 

Well…

 

He felt rather… assholish one might say.  Something that the old Bruce, the one before the Bat clan, before Selina, before… having a family as it were, would not have grasped.  The mission was everything.  The mission was the only thing, that had been how Bruce has thought.  Had acted.  How so many members of the JLA had found him to be very socially disconnected.  How that had contributed to so many problems with Grayson and others.

 

But now…

 

He had people he cared about and who cared about him.  He had a life outside of being Batman.  His life outside of Batman was no longer just a cover for Batman.  And a better understanding of just how much of a jerk he might be projecting right now.  So this Batman did something that the Batman of old would never have done.

 

He knelt next to her to keep her hair from falling into her puke as she continued to heave after first getting some soda water so she could rinse out her mouth while telling her it was going to be okay.  Soda water as Bruce had concluded that was not a good time to offer up one of his Bat smoothies.

 

Sigh…

 

Things… were so much simpler when it was just himself.  But… things were much more pleasant now that he had left Selina and the others into his life.  Pleasant, but…

 

BLAHHHHHHHH…

 

But there were complications he had never thought of.  This being one.

 

“I am never doing that again…”  Was her frequent groans between bouts of truly epic discharges of a volume that just should not be physically possible for one of her size, or even the Hulk.

 

Which was the message that Bruce had wanted to convey anyway.  And his attempts at comforting her was likely something she’d remember in a positive light; which only occurred to him afterwards so bully for him on doing the right thing for the right reasons.

 

 

Part 19d:  The CLIMAX!!!  (As told by Deadpool)

 

“Yeah… a bit of a dramatic title for this part of the story.”  States Deadpool to you the reader.  “And… I suppose rather sexual as well due to the use of the word climax but….” 

 

He points his right thumb at the massive fricassee of a fight taking place.  “But what other word to use when you have woman in just bat bras and panties, naked Amazons with titties and everything else just flapping in the wind,  and now a massive bunch of Johnny come latelies joining the fight.  But my only real complaint is the sound track.”

 

The music of Meatloaf continues to blast forth as the fight grows in scale as more and more foes fall from the sky, and a tentacled monster as well lands with a splatter of goo.

 

For the good of some thrills on a long frigid night

For the good of the fire in your soul

For the good of the kiss let me hold you so tight

For the good of getting out of control

For the good of the action and a race in the dark

For the good of those chills up your spine

 

A shake of Deadpool’s head.  “Just not the right song, that’s why I…”  Deadpool gives air quotes as he talks “Borrowed the black van that’s parked over there.”  About thirty yards away is a black van that looks quite shabby.

 

Deadpool pulls out a key fob from a pocket.  “Don’t let body work fool you.  That bad boy’s packing one hell of an audio Johnston.”  With that he hits the key fob and…

 

It's raining men! Hallelujah!

It's raining men! Amen!

I'm gonna go out to run and let myself get

Absolutely soaking wet!

It's raining men! Hallelujah!

It's raining men! Every specimen!

Tall, blonde, dark and lean

Rough and tough and strong and mean

 

Opps!  Deadpool franticly clicked at the key fob to turn off the music.  “My bad, that was a bit for…  Well… no need for details…  Did not mean to play It’s raining men.  I meant to play…”  Another key fob button click and Kung Fu Fighting by Carl Douglas erupts forth and actually manages drown out Bad For Good.

 

Everybody was kung fu fighting!

Those cats were fast as lightning!

In fact, it was a little bit frightening!

But they fought with expert timing!

 

Not that almost any of the fighting mob were paying attention, other a very annoyed Lucie and Meatloaf as Deadpool stated.  “Yeah, now that’s a fighting song.”

 

With that a Karate expert went for Deadpool, stopped only by Deadpool’s boot stomping firmly in the Karate practitioner’s groin while Deadpool smirks.  “Like I didn’t see that coming.”

 

But… it was now a battle of the bands as well as a battle as Meatloaf answered with a volume increase.

 

For the good of the rock and the roll in your heart

For the good of what's yours and what's mine

For the good of believing in a life after birth

For the good of your body so bright

For the good of the search for some heaven on earth

For the good of one hell of a night

For the good of one hell of a night!

 

Which offended Deadpool to no end.  “No no no fat boy!  Not in my house!  Two can play at that game!”  With a button click on the key fob Kung Fu Fighting cranked up with a window cracking vengeance.

 

There were funky China men from funky Chinatown!

They were chopping them up, they were chopping them down!

It's an ancient Chinese art and everybody knew their part!

From a feint into a slip and a kicking from the hip!

 

Everybody was kung fu fighting, huh!

Those cats were fast as lightning!

In fact, it was a little bit frightening, hey, yeah!

But they fought with expert timing!

 

That’s when Lucie, who was also greatly annoyed at this audio intrusion, flicked his fingers and the black van which promptly exploded in a very dramatic fireball, allowing Bad For Good to win while Deadpool cried out in rage and drew forth a Japanese sword from one of the two strapped to his back.  “FOUL!”

 

For the good of the action and a race in the dark

For the good of the fire in your soul

For the good of the rock and the roll in your heart

For the good of getting out of control

For the good of believing in a life after birth

For the good of your body so bright

For the good of the search for some heaven on earth

For the good of one hell of a night, for the good of one hell of a night!

 

And it was a double negative for Deadpool as his cell phone emitted a chirp indicating the receipt of an email (Google mail for those who want to know).  A quick scan and then even more bewailing from Deadpool.

 

NOOOOOOOO!  My doll from Hasbro has been cancelled!  Damn it!  Curse this cancel culture!  It’s not my fault that Robot Chicken had my doll beating up the G.I. Joe dolls, and doing rude things to them while demonstrating an adult use for the G.I. Joe Kung Fu grip!”

 

Things would have gone precipitously down hill from there as Deadpool leveled his sword with the intent of taking out his aggravations, but that’s when Deadpool noticed a tentacle waving about a certain somebody, which prompted  him to cry out.

 

“IT’S MASTER KEN!”

 

 

Part 19e:  A few moments prior

 

And it became total pandemonium!

 

The Amazons at first thought this was reinforcements from the bat squad, but the attacks were upon all so nix to that idea.  Everybody was quickly engaged in the ever expanding fight with the new comers so, with a few nods of agreement and some brief spoken words, a temporary truce was agreed to as both the Amazons and the Bad Girlz defended themselves from these interlopers.

 

Laura gave a sniff, she was fighting back to back with Cassandra and with all the noise and action she had been distracted from using her more subtle senses but, she recognized that particular version of Eucalyptus like aroma, a glance behind her confirmed what her nose was telling her as she also recognized the black and red color patterns on the flailing tentacled pseudo-octopoid monster.  With that she gave a shout to Illyana using her code name.

 

“Magik!  It’s Frizz!”

 

Illyana was likewise fighting back to back with Dani and like everybody else she’d been very distracted by the massive fracas that was taking place.  She was focused on the attacking Ninjas (actually kick boxers at the moment but they were all dressed in black and Illyana did not really care about the martial art particulars).  She dodged a kick and then unleashed the clothing-be-gone enchantment that she’d used on the Amazons (She originally created it for future use against the Avengers the next time they got in her face).  In this case it was a talented but rather scrawny and very self conscious young man who was very nervous around woman, and of course he was currently fighting two scantily clad total babes with very distracting quantities of cleavage, not to mention the naked Amazons.

 

With a snap of Magik’s left hand and a point from her index finger and BOOM, all the clothing exploded from his body leaving him Completely naked.  Oh… did I mention he tended to have the naked in school nightmares at least once a week?

 

So… with his hands clenched around his privates, and a long screaming “AHHHHHHHH!!!!” that was destined to result in years of therapy, he fled.  Which gave Illyana a chance to take a closer look at what Laura was pointing at.

 

“Fr’kzzkkqqm?”  Was her question and then… Why yes!  It was Fr’kzzkkq’’qm!  And how a human mouth was able to pronounce his name was astonishing (Illyana is very fluent in many demonic languages).

 

A turning of the squid like body as one of the many eyes focused upon Magik while a very English accented voice spoke.  “M’lady?”  As a tentacle likewise rotated into view holding a stunned and bloody Master Ken!  Although the blood was rather hard to see as he was wearing red clothing.

 

“What is going on Fr’kzzkkqqm!”  Was Magik’s stern questioning tone that somehow made the pseudo-octopoid body language look embarrassed.

 

Meanwhile.

 

“Frizz?”  Inquired Cassandra of Laura.

 

Which did need more then a few words of an answer.  “He runs her version of the Danger Room in Limbo.  Oh… and he’s also the masseuse.”  Author’s note: see chapter Five of Tag I’m It.

 

“Masseuse?”  Was the question from both Cassandra and Dani.

 

“Yep, he’s very good, it’s all those tentacles.”  Was Laura’s reply.

 

Meanwhile Fr’kzzkkqqm was concerned that he (although gender was very flexible with his species as they did have five genders and tended to switch every few years) was in trouble.  A shake of the tentacle holding Master Ken, and another that generally indicated all the sudden fighters as Fr’kzzkkqqm inquired.

 

“Are they your guests M’lady?  They intruded upon the caverns of contemplation and were most rude.”  Another shake of Master Ken.  “Particular this one who kept striking at me while yelling ‘Where’s the crotch??  I can’t find a crotch!’  I do hope I have not erred?”

 

Dani rather sarcastically inquired of Laura.  “Caverns of contemplation?”

 

“That danger room I spoke of.  Magik and I sometimes… fight there.”

 

A statement that annoyed Dani.  “First I’ve heard of it.”

 

Laura did feel that it was best to point out that… “Rather… lethal games.  If you can’t heal then… very terminal.  I win nine out of ten times.”

 

“Eight!”  Was Illyana angry reply as she interrupted her conversation with Fr’kzzkkqqm.  “Sometimes seven!”

 

Laura shook her head at Illyana’s rose colored glass view of those fights as she kicked a Tae-kwon-do attacker.  “Nine.”

 

“Nine?”  Was Dani’s rather disbelieving question as she shot a psychic arrow that took down a Kung Fu practitioner who forgot that actual combat does not involve lots of impressive pre flight displays to intimidate a foe and demonstrate just what a bad ass you were.

 

“Weapons only.  No magic, no magic weapons.  Very very… bloody.”

 

Now Dani got it, and likely not fun at all.  “Ah… I can see why it’s nine out of ten then.”

 

“EIGHT!”  Was Illyana’s distracted squawk of outrage.  “At least EIGHT!”

 

Fr’kzzkkqqm was silent on the topic as Illyana hated ass kissing but… really it was nine out of ten.

 

Illyana shook her head to clear it, she was so easily distracted (because she was quite drunk on chaos, why… one might say high as a kite).  “No Fr’kzzkkqqm, they are not guests.  You did right.”  Then sudden complaint.  “Who the hell invited him?”

 

Him being Deadpool as Deadpool ran out into the fight while waving at Master Ken, who was not reacting as he was distracted in that he was in the grip of a tentacle while being punched by another tentacle.

 

“Master Ken!  Master Ken!  It’s Deadpool!  I’m your biggest fan!!!!  Did you get those videos I sent you!?  I’d love to be on your show!!!”

 

The tentacle shook and flailed Master Ken about like a rag doll, resulting in one of his feet completely nailing Deadpool right the crotch!  Causing Deadpool to gasp and then collapse in pain as he gripped his groin with both hands.

 

Then a painfully whisper.  “Best gift ever… I’m never washing my crotch again…”

 

The leaders of the intruding fights now could see where Master Ken was and the cry went out from them.

 

“League Against Ameri-Do-Te Ensemble!  Attack Master Ken!  Kill Him!”

 

A cry that roused a stunned and battered Master Ken as the tentacle continued to whip him about.  “What… I’m being attacked by people called…  LAAM?  Was LOSER or PUSSY taken?  Perhaps DOUCHE BAGs is still available.”

 

A cry of pain from the assembled fighters as the sarcastic comment hit them right in the literary crotch, all while Meatloaf played on.

 

The sea is whipping the sky

The sky is whipping the sea

You can hide away forever from the storm

But you'll never hide away from me

The icy cold will cut us like a knife in the dark

And we may lose everything in the wind

But the Northern Lights are burning

And they're giving off sparks

I want to wrap myself around you like a winter skin

 

That’s when Jubilee heard the angry declaration.  “Jubilee!  You are grandstanding again!”

 

Jubilee turned lighting fast!  Impossible!  It was…  Grandmaster!  He was fighting in a triangle formation with Doug Marcaida on one corner, Guru on another, and Grandmaster armed with but two large pepper and salt mills at the point.  They were advancing to rescue Master Ken but Grandmaster had spied Jubilee fighting with less then proper attention to combat techniques.

 

“What did I say would happen if I caught you grandstanding again?!”

 

NO!  Was Jubilee’s internal thought, she was so busted!

 

She turned to flee, like any student would that had aroused the wrath of Grandmaster, but Grandmaster was already in front of her!

 

A stomp of grandmaster foot as he bonked the pepper mill on the top of Jubilee’s head (not too hard for those who are concerned for Jubilee) as he stated his favorite striking word. 

 

“Bam!”

 

“Owwww!”  Was Jubilee’s complaint has she rubbed her head.  “It’s not my fault!”

 

“Bam!”  And another bonk on the head for Jubilee. 

 

“No!  Stop hitting me!”  As she tried to block the next strike from the pepper mill.

 

“Bam!”  As grandmaster struck again, stopping the strike just a millimeter away from Jubilee’s right temple.

 

There were slight chuckles from Illyana, Laura, and Dani at Jubilee, who were all likewise occasional students of Grandmaster.  Jubilee tended to grandstand in combat, something that always annoyed Grandmaster.  And just maybe Illyana had teleported Grandmaster to block Jubilee’s attempt to flee, but mums the word on that.

 

The song from Meatloaf came to the end.

 

I know that you can be bad

At least a little while

But if you give me a chance, give me one little chance

And give me all the love that you should

Then instead of being bad for just a little while

Then instead of being bad for just a little while

Then instead of being bad for just a little while

 

I'm gonna make you bad for good

I'm gonna make you bad for good

I'm gonna make you bad for good

I know that you'll be bad for good

You'll be bad for good

 

That’s when Masker Ken went flying, somehow he had slipped out of the flailing tentacle that was gripping him (likely the eucalyptus slime).  He bounced a few times before ending up slumped next to a wall, momentarily neglected as Frizz suddenly started to deploy Todd as a kind of gas spray can in that he would give a squeeze and poof a toxic cloud would erupt and incapacitate all those exposed to the unbelievable stench; Illyana of course found this hysterically funny (remember blitzed out people find most things funny) and added to the chaos by casting more and now you’re nude spells.

 

That’s when Master Ken was hosted to his feet and pinned to the wall by the female Swedish Ninja.  Pinned in part by her very prominent breast (but she was one of the few attackers still clothed).  The dazed Master Ken attempted to focus… why… it was…

 

“Rebecca?”  Was has slurred statement.

 

“Yes…!”  Was has savage reply as she raised a dagger.  “Surprised?”

 

“I must be dead.”  Was Master Ken’s response as he continued to try to focus.

 

“Not yet…”  Was her purr of evil as she lined up the dagger at his eye.

 

“How’s heaven?”  Was the puzzling reply from Master Ken.

 

“What…?”

 

“How’s heaven?  I mean… can’t imagine you ending up in the other place.”

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“I wish you hadn’t been killed in Lisbon… I’ve… really missed you.”

 

“What…?”

 

“I really missed you…”  Repeated Master Ken as he started to blubber in emotional grief.  “Missed you much Rebecca!”  As Rebecca lowered the dagger.

 

“You… thought I was dead?”

 

Teary blinks from Master Ken as he finally focuses.  “You’re not dead?”  His eyes light up!  “Rebecca!”

 

With that they passionately kiss as she dropped the dagger while the fight raged on and on…

 

 

Part 19f:  All things come to an end

 

Later…

 

The cleanup was commencing as Illyana had summoned some demons to fix things (Illyana had banished the Ninjas back to their home dimension as well as Deadpool).

 

Lucie was gone.

Meatloaf busy signing autographs.

The Amazons were searching for their clothing.

The Bat clan was relaxing and enjoying some fresh coffee (they are night owls after all).

Master Ken and Rebecca were off in a corner kissing.

Doug Marcaida, Guru, and Grandmaster had returned to their meal.

Frizz was hanging around and flirting with the Amazons.

 

So… now what?  Everybody was rather too hyped up to just call the evening quits.  They all exchanged glances, then…

 

Illyana:  “There’s a party raging somewhere in the world.”  It was the song Everything louder then everything else by MeatLoaf.

 

Dani:  “You got to serve your country.”

 

Jubilee:  “You got to service your girl!”

 

Sudden silence as looks all around, Jubilee gets it and blushes as she defended herself.  “What?  That’s how the song goes.”

 

“I think she’s still a bit loopy from Lucie.”  Was Dani’s whispered comment to a nodding Laura who then surprising sang the next line in the song.

 

“You’re all inducted into the armies of the night…”

 

A questioning look from Illyana.  “Any suggestions?”

 

Jubilee had one.  “I call bullshit on the Superhomeys!  There is no way that story is true.”

 

Illyana gave Jubilee a slight glare.  “They exist.”

 

“Pfffff… Prove it!”

 

Now normally Illyana did not listen or react to such challenges.  And normally Illyana was not drunk off her ass.

 

Sooo…

 

 

Part 19g:  Karaoke!

 

It was weekly Karaoke night at the headquarters of the Superhomeys.  Singing, some dancing, and a great deal of alcohol consumption.  And, as Illyana was proving a point, the Bad Girlz were there!  They even had their own table, shared with EMP, Thugboy (boyfriend of EMP), Ninjette (best friends with EMP), and of course the Caged Demonwolf who was still imprisoned in the energy draining bondage gear (The blazing eyed devil-goat merciless monarch of menace who breaks the fourth wall and speaks to you!)

 

WHO TOLD YOU WHO DOUBT THAT HE WOULD BE BACK YOU OF BUT MIDDLING MEDIOCRE MONKEY MENTALITY! 

 

DOES NOT THE ELDRITCH 12-CYLINDER ENGINE OF DESTRUCTION, THE CATACLYSMIC SNUFFER OF CIVILIZATIONS VIEW TIME IN ITS ENTIRETY INSTEAD OF THE SEQUENCE OF EVENTS THAT YOU, PRESUMPTUOUS PRIMATE, ARE RESTRICTED TO.  

 

BUT OH THE SENSUAL JOY AS NOW HE IS DRAPPED UPON THE PERT NIMBLE CURVES OF HER, THE ALPHA WENCH OF ALPHA WENCHES!  A PERSONAL BUCKET LIST ITEM IS NOW CROSSED OUT AND ALL THE DEMON LORDS SHALL HOWL IN ENVY AT HIS TRIUMPTH!

 

Said menace of all creation was currently draped upon the person of Illyana as they sang, along with Meatloaf, what one might call the theme song of the group.

 

Good girls go to heaven

Good girls go to heaven

Good girls go to heaven (But the bad girls go everywhere)

Good girls go to heaven (Anybody, anywhere)

Good girls go to heaven (But the bad girls go everywhere)

 

When the wind is howling through your window pane

It's not the only pain of the night

You're burning up in your bed, you got a fever of love

And there's not an anti-body in sight

 

Frizz was there as well, at a table with the Amazons; and all were being quite friendly.

 

That’s when he, the dark defender of the night, walked in as both Jubilee and Dani rose to cry out in complete astonishment and awe.

 

"It's the Goddamn Maidman!"

 

Who answered right back.  "You're goddamn right!"

 

Imagine Batman in a frilly French maid's outfit.  He’s the badass broom-swinging vigilante Maidman, the cross-dressing crusader of justice!  He struck a heroic poise and yes the groin bulge in frilly panties was a thing to bring dread to all evil doers.  A poise that brought cheers from all the Bad Girlz, likewise EMP and Ninjette.  Whereas Thugboy just looked very uncomfortable, as did most of the male heroes present.

 

Once the song was done Illyana returned to the table, having first teleported MeatLoaf back to the DC universe.

 

“Having fun oh slayer of all?”  Asked EMP of the Demonwolf.  No answer as he was enjoying being worn by Illyana.  That’s when the next order of drinks arrived as Cassandrastood on a table and held her Superhomey Super Hurricane at arms length as the crowd began to chant.

 

“Chug… Chug… Chug… Chug…”

 

She slowly lowered it down to her lips and began to drink to ringing cheers.

 

“This is such a bad idea.” Was Illyana’s comment as Cassandra continued to drink.

 

“Why?” Was Jubilees question as she paused in her chant of encouragement.

 

“That’s made with 350 proof alcohol.”

 

A comment that annoyed Dani. “That’s not possible.”  As Cassandra raised the empty mug on high in triumph… then promptly passed out (she was caught by Selina as she fell off the table.

 

Illyana gave Dani the evil eye. “I know… but yet… it is.”

 

“You know what this means then?”  Stated Laura with a look of deep thought.

 

The girls all eyed each other before shouting the answer in sync.

 

“SHOTS!”

 

Which resulted in much small talk and the revelation that burning skulls were a secret turn on for Illyana (much to the surprise of all).

 

Later, Jubilee called bullshit on Dirty pair which resulted in…

 

Many things. 

Many many things…

 

Ending in a massive day long blowout party at Lex Luther’s Vegas Hotel.

 

 

Part 19h:  Later, much later at the Batcave

 

“I’d make a great Robin!”

 

“I’m sure you would young sir.”

 

“Sir!?  I’m a girl!”

 

“Of course you are young master.  Gender identify has become so… fluid recently.”

 

“No, really!   Why are people all of sudden thinking I’m a boy… wait a minute… Illyana!”

 

Illyana was distracted due to her… illness… Yes illness was a nice way of describing her condition, meaning almost unending bouts of vomiting.  And Jubilee’s shouting, plus all the recent teleports as she returned folks to their correct locations, was not helping as Illyana suddenly…

 

BLAHAAAAA!!!!!!!

 

Right into a potted plant, which greatly distressed Alfred, both as to the site of the discharge and the unfortunate effects upon the fern which was suddenly turning different colors and had grown teeth.

 

Jubilee was not to be deterred.  You did something didn’t you!”

 

Illyana did not respond as she was… well… rather busy as she spewed...

 

Alfred’s comment was not helpful.  “I’m sure things will work out in the end young sir.”

 

Oh… and yes Illyana had “done” something, just before the Amazon encounter, which explained why new person they met was convinced she was a boy.

 

“Damn it!”

 

 

Part 19i:  And done…

 

Illyana was now gone and Bruce had finished with the log.  Batman sat back in his chair, and found himself no longer sleepy or even tired.  Instead he was… well… not sleepy.  With a sigh he wished Selina was still awake but she had to be sleeping by now.  That’s when the comm. signal came in from the Bat Cave.  Sigh… some criminal activity must have come up.  With a click he answered the call, the message had video but the monitor was just filled with an odd bat symbol…

 

Wait…

A….

Minute…

Those are…

 

The before mentioned cleavage, assuming that you the reader did not get the hint, retreated from the camera pick up, showing a backing away Selina dressed in not but the bat Frosties that had figured prominently in the bat log.

 

“Too tired Bat?”  Was her come-on statement and smoldering look.  “Or is the poor Bat just not… up… to the challenge?”  As both of her hands rose to fondle…

 

“I’ll be right there.”  Was his bat growl of a grunt as he rose to make his way to the teleporter to answer the Bat Symbol.  Yes the Bat was awake and ready!  How was that possible you ask? 

 

Simple…

 

HE’S BATMAN!!!

 

Oh, and how did that toast go?  I believe it was…

 

A FUN TIME FOR ALL!

 

And Catwoman had been so naughtily.  Or was that after the Bat showed up?

 

Either way…

 

Hours later a final thought as Bruce went to sleep…

 

Damn, forgot to ask about the Batmobile.

 

Authors notes:  See the first chapter of Boy’s Night out for details, and the third Chapter of Tango with Doom for just how… annoying the statues in the Batmobile turned out to be.

 

 

Part 19j:  Epilogue

 

It was done.  Illyana had returned everybody to where they were supposed to be, while mostly being violently ill.  Why ill you might ask?  Call it rules… she had played with the established order of things via chaos magic and such things have a price, especially if you keep ingesting it; and none of her hangover magic worked.

 

So… all done so… time to relax in a large warm bath and just feel miserable.  Bath being a general description as the actual pool was a lake of lava, kind of like a Jacuzzi you might say.  Under a black sky so no harsh light.

 

Just adrift in the warm liquid…