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Would You Do That?

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Troy and Abed are early, killing time in the library playing rapid-fire 'would you do that?'.

"Would you eat sandy ice cream for chocolate cake?" Troy asks, looking intense.

"A whole cake or just a slice?" Abed looks equally severe.

"The whole cake. No wait, a slice."

With hardly a pause for thought "Yes. Would you crash a car for six thousand bucks?"

"A clunker?"


"Any random car?"



"In all likelihood."

"My car?"

"Jeff's car."

"No. Would you kiss Britta to win a bet?"

"What bet?"

"Thirty bucks."

"Yes. Would you kiss Shirley to date any girl in school?"




"Not required."

"Any girl?"


"Yes. Would you kiss Jeff for a free pass to the movie theatres?"

"For one movie?"

"For as many as you can see in a year."

"A calendar year?"


"Any movie theatre?"

"The one on Spring St."


Cue Jeff. "What are you two doing this time? You look you're diffusing a bomb telekinetically."

"We're playing 'what would you do'." Abed says, not looking away from Troy.

"Uh huh." Jeff shuffles his books nosily.

Troy holds up a cheaply laminated card with the Spring St. theatre's smiley-face logo on it.

Abed turns his head, considers it, and rises. He walks beside Jeff's chair and stands mutely until Jeff looks up, eyebrow furrowed in question, then bends and places a kiss to the side of his mouth.

He returns to his seat and accepts the pass from Troy, and asks, "Would you stalk Senor Chang for sixty bucks?"

"How long?"

"A day."

"Do I have to go to his house?"


Jeff frowns, blinks, and shakes his head. It's not worth it.