Dementors had detected a prey. A strong soul to attack. A lot of positive emotions, lot of happiness. A delicious prey they had yet to taste before. Circling around him they surrounded the man. First dementor closed in and grabbed their victim's head, pressing it's "mouth" against his mouth to suck away his soul. Only... its victim folded his arms around dementor and pressed him against his chest answering to dementor's attack with his own fierce kiss. With tongue. Other dementors stopped closing in for a moment. And started falling back, real fast. The dementor looked to the kiss was now waving its hands trying to get out. Only to eventually stop moving at all. The man let it go and dementor fell to the ground with large purple colour on its face.
Big muscled man smiled at all dementors and flexed his muscles. "Love and piece!"
That was the moment when dementors turned around and first time during their existence didn't simply slide or flow... they ran like little bitches, stumbling and falling over when the man behind them ran after them in a girly way, calling them "babies" and "darlings".
Voldemort sat in his hideout. He was not amused. And when Dark Lord was not amused people died. Bit right now he felt different... would this have been ordinary case he would have started laying out killing curses and those too slow to get out of the room would have left their lives. This was something that made both his most fanatical supporter Bellatrix Lestrange and the man loving wealth and position, Lucius Malfoy quite nervous. Especially for Lucius who was constantly throwing looks at the door trying to move a bit closer when things get out of hand. But at the same he felt even more chilled over the fact that his lord was not letting his rage boil. It was almost as if he was... scared... This idea itself made Lucius weak in his knees.
Voldemort had gotten strange news about his servants being wiped out by mysterious assailant. One of them had managed to use apparition to escape to his lord right before collapsing. Dark Lord has seen many things but nothing like this. If he wouldn't have known better then those purple marks all over his servant's body looked like kiss marks. But they couldn't, right... right...
Voldemort twitched at this idea and Bellatrix who was nervously moving around him trying to calm him jumped back in fear.
Voldemort was feeling scared. He really was. His servant had had this insane look in his eyes like he had met something out from this world. Things that he couldn't understand scared Voldemort. And what scared him even more was the fact that although Dolohov had managed to get back alone, he had mumbled something in the lines of "It's coming...". And those purple marks on his body could not be removed. The more Voldemort thought about it, the more nervous he got. Could those strange symbols that seemed to emit some strange vibe be... calling whatever attacked Dolohov here!? To him!?
Voldemort cracked his fingers. He didn't know what to do. No magic he had mastered could explain this. He was clueless. Run away? Why should he, the great dark lord run away! Besides, this was the safest place for him. With all the defence spells he had cast around the mansion, nothing should be able to get through. No... there was nothing to worry about. Voldemort took a deep breath to calm his nerves.
The house was shaken by explosion with following screams. Dark Lord almost jumped back on his chair and for a moment lost his breath starting coughing.
"Master!" Bellatrix screamed shocked.
"This is it," went through Lucius' head. Voldemort might kill him, but something in him told him that whatever just no entered to mansion was far more dangerous than his master. Blonde hair wizard made a quick step towards the door, opened it... and hit his face real hard. Grabbing his nose, Lucius stumbled back and heard Bellatrix's scream behind his back. Looking up he saw a tall muscled man looking down on him with radiant smile.
"My child... may there be love upon you." With those words the stranger picked Lucius up and what happened next was undescribable... probably because Lucius' mind shut down right after he saw those eyes... and felt something going deep down his throat.
Both Bellatrix and Voldemort had pulled out their wands and shot killing curses at the man who just just dropped Lucius to the floor. To their utter shock the cruses did no damage. Unavoidable, unblockable killing curse had no effect... even always insane bloodthristy Bellatrix stopped in shock. Maybe it had something to do with how the mysterious man had blocked her curse with his nipple. Or how he now looked at her.
Seeing how his most competent servant was picked up and locked into a gruesome and disgusting act, Voldemort stepped back, feeling wall behind his back. He couldn't use appariton either... he himself had put anti-apparition spells all around the mansion to avoid enemy invasion right into his base. Dark Lord felt his knees giving up and he fell sitting his horrified eyes fixed at Bellatrix Lestrange's back who had stopped trying to curse the big man and was not just hanging in his arms. And then she was dropped... falling to the ground... her face covered with the same purple marks that were on Antonin Dolohov's entire body.
"Mmm, baby!" Voldemort's terrified thought pattern was disrupted by the big man turning his attention towards him. With shaking hand, Voldemort raised his hand towards the approaching man. Sitting on the floor, his wand pointing right at that man's crotch who stopped right in front of Dark Lord, nudging his wand with the giant bulge in his tight pants.
"Avada Kedavra..." Could Voldemort mutter the killing curse he used the most from all of his arsenal, move that was almost a reflex to him. Red light exploded right into big man's crotch, blasting away his clothes and revealing something very big that almost poked out one of Dark Lord's eyes.
"I love your fierce love," declared the intruder taking Voldemort's face between his palms and looking at his eyes with gentle smile. "For darling like you I have special program."
[Thirty minutes later.]
Lucius Malfoy was walking on a street, his expression blank: "Charity... I'll give everything away... monk... I want to become a monk..."
A bit afar from him staggered sobbing Bellatrix Lestrange: "Snakes... no nose... purple lips... moustache... muscles... everywhere... no... no more... please... no... girls... just girls... please... girls... Granger's butt... Granger's cute butt... I need..."
In the room they had left, in the mansion they had stumbled out were heard some noises sounding like panting. Voldemort was still receiving his special service program.
[One week later.]
The stability in the mage world had been restored. Dark Order had been mostly wiped out and the remaining members were hardly no threat at all. Ministry of Magic had more trouble trying to figure out what had just happened. In one of Azkaban's cells was Antonin Dolohov, infamous muggle torturer and one of Voldemort's worst servant. Hugging his knees, mumbling unreasonable words. During his rare clarity moment he looked at his inquisitors with wide frightened eyes begging to have Dementor's Kiss performed at him. This had shocked the ministry officials even more than Voldmeort's return. Why would one of the most heinous criminals ask for his own soul to be sucked out, fate considered the worst in mage world?! Only clues were Dolohov's muttering about not wanting to go to heaven or hell... as HE might be there...
But even if ministry had wanted to fulfil his desire, it would have been proved to be quite difficult if not impossible to achieve. Ministry had namely discovered that all what was left of dementors were some floating coats on the sea that were left after those happiness sucking creatures had sank when trying to escape from England by swimming over the sea.
The mysterious assailant, reported to be a huge muscled man with tattoos claiming to spread love and peace had disappeared. By some reports he had been confronted by Albus Dumbledore who had later taken a long vacation and disappeared saying something about "power of love truly being a miraculous thing. Like I have always said: Love is the strongest power!".
Ministry officials had also found Dark Lord Voldemort's body. Or what seemed to look like one. Overall consensus was that it looked like empty rubber bag shaped like Voldemort filled by unknown sticky substance. After one wizard tried to touch the substance with his wand and his tool suddenly got hot and started moaning it was decided to simply burn the found and declared Voldemort dead due to "unknown attack".
Only thing that Minister of Magic had to deal with was to explain muggle prime minister of why was Big Ben covered with purple kiss marks.
[Somewhere in an unnamed monastery.]
Man with shaved head was sitting calmly in a monk's cell, meditating. Another younger monks appeared at the door.
"Brother Lucius? Would you like to join the other brother's in our group meditation?"
The asker was shocked when Lucius Malfoy started shaking all over his body and sobbing silently. Another monks appeared behind the asker and put his hand to his shoulder pulling him away.
"Let him be, brother. This poor soul has met some unnamed horror and just wants to be left alone."
[In the Granger household.]
Bellatrix Lestrange wearing maid's outfit was displaying her maniacal grin whole pointing her wand towards a cockroach.
"No, Bella!" Said angry voice behind her back. "You can NOT use Cruciatus curse on cockroaches."
Bellarix's face lost its grin... to resurface again a moment later when she raised her wand again.
"And you can NOT use Avada Kedavra either."
Bella turned around with tears at her eyes.
"Just a bit... please...?
"No!" Came Hermione's resolute answer. "No using black magic in my kitchen."
Looking at infamous black witch's sad eyes, Hermione sighed and stepping closer wrapped her arms around older woman.
"Don't go puppy eyes on me now."
Bellatrix wrapped her hands tightly around Hermione and raised her to the kitchen table.
"Fine, master," said Bella with a vicious smirk. If I can't have my usual hobbies then you have to give me others." With those words she pressed Hermione down kissing her neck.
"Hey! You were the one coming here begging for my butt... Hey, are you even listeninnn..."
Bellatrix covered Hermione's mouth with her own ignoring younger woman's words.
Peace may have returned to the mage world, but not for the neighbours of these two.