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Michael grit her teeth, controlling her breathing, and trying not to show that she was in pain while she listened to Saru speak. “Burnham… You need to rest now.” Doctor Culber said, touching Michael’s arm gently to lead her back to the bio bed. She shrugged him off, “I’m fine. I need to get back to the bridge.” she said. Culber gave her a stern look and lowered his voice some. “Burnham, please. I know you’re in considerable pain. Please lay down and let me help you through this, otherwise you’ll be back here in a few hours anyway.” Culber said sternly. “What’s wrong with her?” Tyler asked. He had walked up behind her and placed a hand at the small of her back. Both Tyler and Saru had concerned expressions. “I am not at liberty to say-” Culber started to say, to protect Michael’s privacy but Michael spoke up before Culber could pull her into a private room. “It’s a miscarriage…” Michael said softly.
Michael regretted saying it as soon as she saw Saru’s face. She looked down at her hands and didn’t even want to imagine what Ash’s face looked like. Truth be told she didn’t even know she was pregnant until Doctor Culber had told her that she was experiencing a miscarriage. She didn’t know how to feel about it; she didn’t know why she even told them. It would have been easier if she kept her mouth shut. “Michael, I-” Saru tried to say but Ash was already leading her towards the bio bed “Come one, you need to lie down and let Doctor Culber help.” He said.
Michael almost glad the Sarcophagus ship showed up. It distracted her; kept her from having to process her feelings. She woke up on Ash’s couch, with a bad ache in her neck from sleeping in an awkward position. Ash was gone but she didn’t look for him. She thought about looking for him, but instead she found herself walking towards the mess. It was dim, and empty except for one person. Saru was sitting, facing a window with a cup of tea in his hands. “Couldn’t sleep either?” She asked as she sat next to him. Saru was silent for another moment, not turning to look at her. “I’m sorry.” He whispered. “It’s alright. I’m feeling fine…” She tried to assure him. “You’re not.” Saru said. He wasn’t wrong. “No but… I suppose we’re even now.” She said. Saru frowned “I never wanted to be even.”