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I see out the corner of my eye Tony about to get shot. I jumped in front to save him. Geting shot.
I realize that I might die right then. Tony stops fight and comes over to me.
Holding me. As I'm trying to stay alive. He is cling to me.
Tears.
Tears. Are in his eyes.
He rambles off to me trying to keep me awake but I'm tired.
So tired
I need to ask him if I did good but as I was i got to tired.
It was like an hour glass ticking down. The sands geting down to the last grains of sands.
Five.
Four.
Three.
Two.
One...
Nothing. I feel no pain. I'm just gone. I stand there looking at myself as If I'm looking in a mirror.
The color in my face is gone.
Paleness is there in the place of color that was once there. The pinkness gone as if it never existed. The movement in my chest no longer moving.
The facial expressions that once held a smiling laughing face now holds a bloody brused face that holds no expression.
The happy eyes that once gleamed when laughing now are blank and hard with no emotion.
There was no life.
As my life less body lay limp. Lying there not moving an inch. He's Trying to revive me. Trying every thing. It's no use. I'm gone forever. On the ground he's there holding my now lifeless body. Now. He's hugging. Crying. Screaming. Crying. Screaming. Crying. Screaming my name. Crying
Working to forget.
Hoping to forget what he did for me.
Saving me.
He shouldn't have been there. He was too young. Too fragile.
He was a child. He wasn't suppose to be there. He was just an innocent child want to play hero.
To show how helpful he could be. Swinging and fighting.
He had a full life to live but couldn't live it because I gave him that chance. The chance to play hero.
He used his life to save mine. Something I never deserved. He had looked up to me.
As a friend. I take a sip of my alcohol
As a father figure. Sip.
As a hero. Sip.
Those things I feel as if I am not. I don't belong. His emotions to me is what killed him.
But as I had stayed there with him as he bled out.
His mask off I look into his eyes. A tear breaking to fall.
Not caring about what is going on around me.
It was just me and him.
Nothing else.
He looks at me and says
Di-id I do g-goo… as he takes his last breath.
Even in the end he wanted someone to be proud of him.
I will always be proud of him. For the short time I had known him it felt as if he was a son of mine. As the battle around us drew to a close I still there holding him…
Close…
At some point I was screaming and crying.
Hoping that something could revive him.
Holding him.
The only reason why I may be talking about this is because I'm done.
I'm done playing hero.
I'm done playing super genius.
I don't want this anymore. I don't want to feel this way.
I'm responsible for him and I failed.
I failed him.
Drink.
I failed the team.
Drink.
I failed everyone.
DRINK.
I just want to let go and be free and see him again to tell him sorry.
He didn't deserve what happened it was my fault.
As I look in front of me.
The thing that can kill.
Tempting me to use it.
Drink.
After this I will see him again.
To tell him I'm sorry. I putt he thing to my head.
Out of the mist there. It's him the young angel. He stands there looking at me. I try to reach him but I can't move. I try to call his name but my throat is hoarse and dry.
I hear the voice. The voice of him talking to me.
"My smart genius. Why must you cry?”
My smart Stark.
You push them away. You treat them as if they will hurt you. They try to help as you push them out. This will ruin you. Who will you go to when I visit you again? Oh fearless genius. Who will you go to?
Steve?
No…
Clint?
No
Hmmmm...
You stopped talking to them. Would they let you lie your head on their shoulders as you cry? What do you think they see?
A coward. No
"You go to the drink. The poison. You think it might just wash away your misery, but you know what Stark, it won't.
It will take it away for the moment but after a while it will become harder to wash away. Then soon there will be no way to get rid of it. It will be there forever. "
He stands there telling me these things which I know is all true. All I want to do is tell him that I love him. That I will be with him soo...
"Stark don't dwell on the past. Stop being selfish. Think about the people you once fought for. Those you did not save because you dwelled on the past. Forget me.
Don't dwell on those you didn't save dwell on those who can be saved.”
I can't take it any more. I hold the gun to my head as I cry. I can see him infront of me as if he was real.
I put my finger on the trigger but barely hold it. I close my eyes.
Five.
Four.
Three.
Two…
The gun is knocked out out of my hand.
It clatters to the floor.
As I look up to see the rest of the team infront of me. Natasha by my side holding me as I cry.
Its okay Tony.
As I look to where I once saw him I see as he fades away smiling.