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Ahiru woke up early on Tuesday morning. Not from a good dream or a bad dream, but because subconsciously she was too excited to stay asleep any longer. The sky was just beginning to change from grey to blue when she woke up, and she instantly knew: it was her birthday, finally. She squeezed her duck pillow and giggled happily before bounding out of bed to gaze out at the castle grounds from her window.
It was the first time she could remember actually being excited about it. Her uncle had never bothered to give her gifts or celebrate it, and at the orphanage even those who knew what day her birthday fell on never remembered or cared. She’d gotten used to this day being one of disappointment and loneliness. But today was different. She had a real home now, and a family that she was going to celebrate with. They’d give her presents, and eat a special meal with her, and wish her well. It was that last part that was most important, because it meant so much to her that she finally had people that cared about her to share this day with her. Birthdays were something that were supposed to be special, and thanks to the people she lived with now, they finally could be for her.
In fact, the celebration had started early. Since her actual birthday would be spent mostly in class, on Sunday Rue had taken her down to the village for a girls’ day . They’d had a wonderful time shopping and exploring the park, and had eaten lunch at a little restaurant there. She didn’t really mind that she’d be doing schoolwork most of today, but it’d still been nice to get out of the castle and have some fun with Rue.
She stayed at the window for only a few minutes - the garden was so pretty now that all the spring flowers were in bloom, and there were even some cherry blossom trees - before dragging herself away to begin getting ready. She wanted to look extra special today as part of the fun, since she’d never gotten to dress up for her birthday before. By the time Anne-Erina arrived, Ahiru was already done with her bath and was almost finished braiding pretty ribbons into her hair. She was confused, but enthusiastically wished Ahiru a happy birthday before leaving.
Having risen early, Ahiru thought she would’ve been the first one in the playroom for once, but no - Fakir was already there, reading in one of the armchairs. Unbeknownst to her, he had woken up earlier than usual too, but in his case it was anxiety over whether she would be happy with his gifts for her that kept him from sleeping much; consequently he didn’t quite look fully awake when she walked in. Nevertheless, he smiled at her when he saw her come in. “Hey. Happy birthday, Ahiru.”
"Th-thank you!" Ahiru blushed, even as her face lit up upon seeing him. Having Fakir smile at her was a gift in itself, as was getting to have him around all day. "I - I’m surprised you’re up early too. I woke up early on my own cause I was so excited, it was like I knew even in my sleep and I just couldn’t stay asleep so I got up and got ready. Is that silly? It’s just cause I’ve never really gotten to celebrate it before or gotten presents or had people to have fun with or… yeah…"
"I don’t think that’s silly." Fakir shook his head. "You deserve to be excited and have fun today." And he hoped she would - he didn’t want anything to disappoint her. Ahiru deserved nothing but the best; it was why he was so nervous about letting her down with what he had prepared for her.
"I - I know I will." Ahiru smiled. "Cause - cause you’re here, and everyone else is too, and… it’s going to be wonderful, I know it."
He let himself return the smile. “I hope you get everything you want.”
"M-me too! B-but even if I don’t, I’ll still be happy. Cause I get to spend it with all of you and have fun." Ahiru pushed away the twinge of sadness his words had provoked. He didn’t know that ‘everything she wanted’ included being with him, there was no need to let the melancholy show and there certainly wasn’t a reason to dwell on it today of all days. "That’s enough to make me happy."
Fakir was suddenly reminded that he’d made a wish for her happiness on Twelfth Night, mere hours before realizing he was in love with her; he didn’t think he’d ever stop wishing for that, no matter what form it took. “Too bad you have to spend most of today in class, though.”
"That’s okay!" Ahiru sat down in the chair closest to his. "I had lots of fun on Sunday, and we’ll have a nice dinner tonight, and then I’ll have all day tomorrow to enjoy whatever presents I get. It’s kinda better this way."
"I suppose." Fakir shrugged. "Is there… anything in particular you’re hoping to get?"
"Not really." Ahiru flushed. "I - I mean - that sounds bad, like there’s nothing I want to get and I don’t care about my presents but it’s the opposite, I’ll be really happy just getting them and I know you all care about getting me stuff you think I’ll like so that makes them special, and I like being surprised anyway, so… I - I know it’ll all be good."
Fakir started to say something in response, but was interrupted by Rue entering the room. Ahiru jumped up out of her chair to show her what she’d done with her hair, and Rue complimented her warmly after wishing her a happy birthday. Ahiru babbled to her about what she’d done and how excited she was until Anne-Erina came in to serve them breakfast. Despite that there was a whole day of class still to go before dinner time and presents, Ahiru nevertheless couldn’t help herself from fidgeting at the table. Rue laughingly scolded her to sit still and that she’d better focus in class because birthday or no birthday Mr. Katz would definitely be displeased with her.
Class itself dragged by at a glacial pace; Ahiru tried her best to focus on the lessons in front of her, but she couldn’t help letting her mind wander sometimes, just a little bit. All kinds of thoughts drifted through her head, about what the others might have gotten her, about how good dinner was going to be, what kind of cake Ebine would make for her. You were supposed to make a wish when you blew out your candles, and if you kept it a secret it had a better chance of coming true. That was good, because she had an idea of what to wish for: to be kissed by Fakir. Or maybe for them to be together? Was that better? More importantly, was it okay to make that kind of wish? If it really did come true, was it because it was already going to or because she’d changed things? If he was going to really be with her and feel that way about her, she wanted him to do it on his own and not because she’d wished those feelings into existence. It was probably the only chance she had of him returning her love, but that didn’t matter, she wanted it to be real and not because of a silly wish.
Halfway through their afternoon magic lessons Ahiru finally realized how silly this was to worry about. How often did wishes made on birthday cakes really come true? It was just a little superstition, a game to make things more fun, particularly for children. She wasn’t quite an adult yet, but she wasn’t a child either, it was ridiculous to fret so much about it. It was a good thing she hadn’t told Rue or Fakir about how much she’d dwelled on this, it would make her feel even sillier even though they undoubtedly would be nothing but understanding. And she would’ve had to omit what her wish centered on, anyway. Granted, Rue would probably guess at it, but there was no reason to give anything away to Fakir.
She somehow managed to make it through both sets of lessons without incurring Mr. Katz’ wrath, though, and at long last was able to return to her room. She napped in fits and starts until the gong sounded to let her know that she had only a half hour left before dinner, at which point Ahiru leapt up from her bed and ran into the bathroom to fix her hair. Once she was reasonably satisfied with it she hurried downstairs and almost went to the usual dining room before turning around and rushing over to the private family one.
Everyone else was there already; Fakir and Rue were seated at the table, Chrestomanci stood near the window, and Uzura was peering at the stack of presents under her mother’s watchful eye. “Ahiru!”
Uzura rushed over to her, something held behind her back. Ahiru smiled at her. “Hi, Uzura!”
"Happy birthday zura! Rue helped me make this for you zura!" Uzura beamed and held out a little flower crown made of white honeysuckle, little yellow rosebuds, and pale blue forget-me-nots. "Will you wear it zura?"
"Oh Uzura, of course I will! Thank you!" Ahiru took the crown from her and arranged it on her head. "H-how does it look?"
"It looks great zura!" Uzura clapped her hands. "Ahiru is so pretty zura."
Ahiru blushed. “Oh Uzura, you’re too sweet.” She reached down and ruffled her hair. “I - I’m glad you can be here to have dinner with me on my birthday. It makes me really happy.”
"Good zura." Uzura nodded, a serious look on her face now. "Ahiru should always be happy zura."
"I’ll try." Ahiru smiled. "I hope you’re always happy too."
"I’m happy when I have candy zura." She tugged on Ahiru’s skirt. "Are we having candy tonight zura?"
Ahiru shook her head. “No, we’re having cake! We have to eat dinner first, though.”
Uzura pondered this as they walked over to the table to join the others. “When it’s my birthday I want to have cake for dinner and candy for dessert zura.”
"You’ll have to discuss that with your mother." She exchanged amused glances with Fakir and Rue.
"Okay zura!" Uzura turned to her mother. "Mama, can I -"
"I heard." Chrestomanci laughed. "We’ll see, Uzura. Your birthday is still a few months away, so there’s plenty of time to plan the menu for you." And hopefully plenty of time for her to forget this idea, said the look in her eyes as she glanced over at the other three.
"We can always start early zura." Uzura nodded. "There can be cake and pie and soda zura. And ice cream zura!"
"All at once?"
"Yes zura!" She bounced in her chair a little. "It’ll be really good zura!"
"I’m sure." Chrestomanci laughed again. "But I think we should wait to talk about it another time. It’s Ahiru’s birthday right now, and we should focus on her."
"Oh no, it’s fine!" Ahiru shook her head and waved her hands. "I-it’s okay if Uzura wants to talk about her party, I don’t mind."
"I do, though." Chrestomanci shook her head too. "This is your first real birthday celebration, and I want it to be about you."
Ahiru couldn’t help it - her lower lip trembled and her eyes filled with happy tears. “That’s… I mean… it’s so sweet of you and it means a lot to me, don’t get me wrong, but… I don’t really deserve that much, it’s okay if we don’t focus on me…”
"Oh hush, and don’t be silly." Rue laughed. "You deserve a lot of good things, and a celebration focused on your birthday is just one of them. Relax and enjoy yourself. It’s overdue that you had a fun birthday."
"Th-thank you… I’ll try." Ahiru blinked back some of her tears and smiled. "Um, maybe this’ll sound silly too, but I think this is the best part… getting to be with all of you and have fun. I-it really means a lot to me."
"That’s not silly." Rue reached over and squeezed her hand. "It makes sense, and I’m pretty sure we all understand. Right, Fakir?"
He nodded. “Yes.”
"See?" Rue smiled. "No one here’s going to laugh at you. Now relax and let’s enjoy dinner."
"Okay!" Ahiru brightened. "I - I will!"
Dinner arrived soon after that, and it turned out to be a selection of several of Ahiru’s favorite dishes, prepared with care by Ebine and the rest of the castle chefs. Ahiru was delighted, and took a little bit of everything. It was tempting to stuff herself with food, because everything was so good, but she restrained herself in order to save room for cake.
And the cake didn’t disappoint when it was delivered a little while after they finished the main meal. It was a big, three-layer cake with white frosting that had little specks of vanilla bean in it, and candles set atop it.
"Ooooohhhh." Uzura stared at the cake. "The frosting has freckles zura. Like Ahiru."
Ahiru giggled. “Those are just from the vanilla. They’re not really freckles.”
"They look like them zura."
"You’re right, they do." Chrestomanci ruffled Uzura’s hair, and then stood up. "Now then, I’ll light these for you and then you can blow them out and make your wish, Ahiru."
"A-all right." Under the table, Ahiru found Fakir’s hand and squeezed his fingers. He glanced over at her and gave her a grateful look, just as Chrestomanci summoned a small amount of fire to light the candles.
"Ooooohhhh! I want to blow out candles zura!" She started to stand up too, but Chrestomanci pulled her back down and held her firmly on her lap.
"On your birthday you can." She ignored her daughter’s attempts to squirm out of her grasp. "These are for Ahiru. Don’t you want her to be able to make a wish and have it come true? It will make her sad if you take that away from her."
"Actually, I…" Ahiru trailed off as Chrestomanci gave her a warning look and shook her head slightly. "Y-yeah… that’d be sad…"
"Ooohhh. Sorry zura." Uzura stopped trying to wriggle free. "Make a wish and be happy zura."
That, Ahiru decided, was what she would wish for: to be happy. If birthday wishes really did come true, then that would be best, because it was vague enough that her happiness could come in any form and hopefully not at anyone else’s expense. “Thank you.” She stood up over the cake, silently made her wish, and blew out the candles.
"Remember, don’t tell anyone what you wished for," Rue said as Chrestomanci released Uzura and stood up again to cut the cake. "It’s bad luck. That is, unless your wish has already come true. Then it’s safe to reveal it, because you’re only talking about something that’s already happened.”
"I wonder why that is," Ahiru mused. "I mean, did people just decide that, or did - oooh!" Her face lit up as Chrestomanci served her the first piece of cake. It was a lemon cake underneath the speckled frosting, and fragrant, freshly made lemon curd had been slathered in between the layers. Seizing her fork, she eagerly took a bite. "Oooh! How yummy!"
"Oh my, yes," Rue agreed as she sampled her own slice. "I agree. And I have no idea how that particular superstition got started," she added. "But now you’ve made me curious. Any idea, Fakir? You seem to do a lot of research on various subjects…"
"I can’t help you with that one. Sorry." He shook his head.
"Ah, that’s a shame. Oh well." Rue shrugged. "That gives me something to do next time I’m in need of reading material, I suppose - I can do some research into superstitions."
Ahiru swallowed another bite of cake. “Please tell me what you find out about that one when you do! I’m really curious!”
"Of course, of course." Rue smiled. "As soon as I find anything, I’ll let you know."
"Thank you!"
They all focused their attention on eating their dessert; Uzura demanded to have two pieces, and given that it was a special occasion Chrestomanci relented, though the second one was visibly smaller than the first. Uzura complained at first about that, but ended up being full enough after eating it that she didn’t request a third slice, much to her mother’s relief. After that it was finally time for Ahiru to open her presents.
Ahiru sat in the middle of the rug, and everyone brought her gifts to her before choosing seats of their own. Uzura plunked herself down on the floor near Ahiru, Chrestomanci summoned a cushion from somewhere to sit on close to Uzura, Rue picked an armchair, and Fakir sat close to Ahiru. His expression was carefully neutral, as always, but on the inside his nerves were fraying with worry over her impending reaction to the presents he’d gotten her.
"Oooh… I don’t know what to open first…" Ahiru surveyed the selection of gifts. There was a little box in wrinkled wrapping paper that must have been from Uzura, a larger one from Rue, one from Chrestomanci that was still larger than that, and… a trio of smaller boxes tied together, from Fakir. Her heart leapt as she realized that he had done the same thing she had for his birthday last month. Those would definitely have to be opened last - she had to save the best for last, after all. "Hmmm…"
"Open mine first zura!" Uzura reached over and pushed the box with the wrinkled wrapping paper on it towards her.
"Now, now, Uzura," Chrestomanci gently chided her. "Let her choose for herself."
"It’s okay!" Ahiru smiled. "I do really want to see what Uzura got me, so I’ll open hers first." She ripped off the wrapping paper and opened the box. Inside was a pretty little bracelet, made of small beads of opalized wood, and one of them was carved into the shape of a duck. "Oh! How pretty!"
"You like it zura?" Uzura’s eyes lit up. "Mama helped me pick it out zura! She said you have to be careful with metal so we picked out wood zura."
"Thank you, Uzura. I love it." Ahiru slipped the bracelet onto her wrist. Bracelets were difficult for her, since most of them tended to be too big for her tiny hands and wrists and would slip off, but this one was small enough that it fit perfectly.
"Ooooohhhh. It looks so pretty zura!" She clapped her hands.
"Thank you." Ahiru smiled at her before reaching for the next gift, the box from Chrestomanci. Lifting the lid revealed only white tissue paper, which she moved aside to expose a rather handsome bag made of some sort of smooth, shiny yellow material she didn’t recognize. "Oh, this is pretty too!"
"It’s more than pretty, Ahiru, it’s very practical," Chrestomanci said. "It has more room on the inside than it seems to from the outside, though not unlimited. And what’s more, it will not take on the weight of the items stored within. It will be very useful to you especially when traveling, I feel."
"Oooh, that’s - that’s really neat!" Ahiru said. "I - I bet if we really do go somewhere this summer it’ll come in handy for packing stuff." She ran her hands over the surface of the bag. "Thank you so much, it’ll be really useful."
"You’re welcome. Ah, and it’s waterproof too," Chrestomanci added. "It wouldn’t do to take it into the rain and ruin all that is inside."
"Even better!" Ahiru set it down and reached for the present from Rue. It was a wide, thin box, and inside was a leather-bound sketchbook and a set of pencils.
"Is it okay?" Rue asked before Ahiru could even say anything. "I’ve noticed you like to doodle things and draw in paper margins, so I thought you might appreciate something like this."
"It’s wonderful, Rue!" Ahiru beamed up at her. "Thank you so much! I - I can draw lots of stuff with this and practice…it’ll be so fun!"
"Good, I’m glad you like it," Rue said, smiling. "I hope you’ll show me what you come up with?"
"Of course!" Ahiru gave the sketchbook one last, admiring look before setting it aside and moving onto the trio of gifts from Fakir, missing the apprehension that flickered in his eyes for a brief moment.
He, likewise, missed how her fingers trembled with her excitement as she began to untie the ribbon that bound them together. He swallowed and tried to calm himself down, but it wasn’t easy. His heart was racing and there were butterflies in his stomach. What if she didn’t like what he’d gotten her? He was so unused to putting serious effort into gift-giving that it was hard to be confident in his ability to select something that would make her happy. Disappointing her was the last thing he wanted to do, especially today.
He’d soon find out that he’d done anything but, however. Ahiru chose the middle box in the stack to open first, and gasped in delight as she saw the vanilla walnut fudge inside. “Oh! Oh, it’s my favorite!” She looked over at Fakir in wonder. “But - but how did you get it? The store’s been closed for weeks…”
"I didn’t buy it. I… made it." Fakir’s face reddened. "On Sunday… while you were in town with Rue. I had Ebine help me. I… thought you might like to have some on your birthday."
"You made it?” Ahiru’s eyes widened and her jaw dropped. She stared down at the fudge with fresh awe on her face. “Wow… that’s… that’s amazing, Fakir! Thank you so much, I - I bet it tastes so good!”
"I’m impressed too," Rue commented. "That was surprisingly thoughtful of you, Fakir."
"I - I’m not surprised," Ahiru said, blushing. "It’s… I mean… Fakir is… ah, a-anyway, I should open the next one now…" She picked up the smallest box and lifted the lid. Her mouth fell open again as she saw what was inside: a small, delicate hairpin made of a golden metal that put her in mind of the hairpiece she’d bought during Christmas and worn to Raetsel’s party, adorned with a star carved out of some kind of white stone with a waxy luster to it. "Oh… how beautiful…"
"Do you like it?" There was something different about his voice; caught up in her reaction to the gift, it took Ahiru a moment to realize that he sounded shy and nervous, like when he showed her a story. "After what you said on my birthday, I thought… and - and it’s chalcedony, which is your birthstone, so I thought you’d like to have that…" He swallowed. "It’s imported from Series Five, so there’s no iron in it." It hadn’t come cheap, but it was for Ahiru, so it was more than worth the expense.
"Like it? Oh Fakir, I love it!" Ahiru traced her finger reverently over the chalcedony star. "It’s so beautiful! I - I’ll wear it often! Thank you so much!"
"I - I’m glad." Fakir relaxed a little more. "It’s also enchanted to stay in place until the person who put it there chooses to remove it, so you don’t have to worry about it slipping out and getting lost. Or stolen, for that matter."
"Oh, that’s perfect!" Ahiru gave it another adoring look, then set the box aside so she could open the final one. Like Rue’s present, it was a wider, thinner box, and contained a leather-bound book. This one, however, was no sketchbook. Pulling the cover open, she saw Fakir’s handwriting and gasped. "Oh… oh, it’s… I… Fakir…"
"What is it?" Rue leaned forward, trying to see it. "I can’t tell from here."
"It’s… um… it’s, it’s um, um -" She floundered about, trying to think of some kind of believable lie, only for her babbling to be abruptly cut off as Fakir laid his hand over hers. She met his eyes, and he shook his head.
"It’s all right," he said softly. "I don’t mind." He turned slightly towards Rue. "It’s… a story I wrote. For her."
"A… what?" Rue blinked. "You do that? Since when?"
"For some years now I have." Fakir took a deep breath and let it out. It still wasn’t easy to admit, but at the same time it kind of felt like a weight off his shoulders. He supposed he could’ve put the moment off by giving Ahiru this particular gift in private, but he hadn’t wanted to do that either, it seemed unfair to her somehow. "I’ve never told anyone before, though."
"But Ahiru knew?" Rue raised an eyebrow. Somehow, it didn’t surprise her that Fakir would reveal a secret like that to Ahiru.
"Y-yeah, I - I kinda found out by accident, during Christmas." A guilty blush colored her cheeks. "Fakir didn’t want me to tell anyone so I kept it a secret and that means I’ve lied to you sometimes and I’m sorry but I couldn’t tell, it would’ve been wrong to blab his secret when he trusted me so I had to lie and pretend like I didn’t know stuff…"
"Huh." Rue sat back in her chair. "Well, that… makes a few things make sense, actually. And I’m not going to get mad at you for keeping your promise to keep someone else’s secret like that, that’d be ridiculous, so don’t worry."
"O-okay, good." That settled, Ahiru returned her attention to Fakir. "You - you really wrote this for… for me?”
Fakir nodded. “You… seemed to like the others, and… I wanted to give you something unique, but I’m not any good at art…is it all right?”
"All right?" Ahiru gaped at him. "Oh, Fakir, it’s… it’s wonderful!" She flew at him, flinging her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly. "I love it, I love it… thank you so much…"
"D-don’t say that when you haven’t even read it yet," he stammered, not sure if he was supposed to return the hug or not and feeling flustered. "You don’t know if you’ll love it or not."
"Yes, I do." She gave him a squeeze and pulled back, her eyes shining with happy tears. "Cause I love all your stories, and you wrote this one just for me, that’s so special and wonderful… it means so much to me. Thank you, thank you!"
"… You’re welcome." He allowed himself a tentative smile as relief started to creep in. "I’m… glad it’s okay. I wasn’t sure."
"Silly." Ahiru laughed and wiped at her eyes. "Of course it’s okay, it’s more than okay, it’s perfect, you should’ve known that."
"Well, you know -"
They were off in their own little world again, Rue realized, as if the rest of them didn’t exist. Uzura was half-asleep on her mother’s lap, or she would’ve tried to interrupt them; Rue didn’t have the heart to, and she could tell Chrestomanci either didn’t want to disturb her daughter or horn in on this moment between them or both. It was, Rue thought, either sweet or frustrating to watch. Or both, really. They were so obviously in love with each other, why couldn’t either one of them see that their feelings were reciprocated? Were they both really that oblivious? It was getting ridiculous in her opinion.
As for Ahiru herself, she couldn’t help but be secretly elated when her little party broke up not long afterwards. It wasn’t that she hadn’t been enjoying herself, she had, it was just that she was getting impatient to begin reading the story Fakir had written for her. She still couldn’t believe that he had done that, and it made her feel like crying with joy when she thought about how much work and effort must have gone into it, not to mention how brave he was to do something like that openly after being afraid for so many years to tell anyone else that he wrote stories.
And she did cry, a little, as she hurried to get ready for bed. Even if he didn’t love her the way she loved him, he still made her so happy, especially when he did things like this for her. He seemed to think so little of himself; why couldn’t he see how much his actions meant to her, how kind and lovely they really were? She’d wished on Twelfth Night for the happiness of everyone at the table, but now she wished most of all for him to be happy. Even if he ended up with someone else, she’d be happy for him, no matter how much it hurt not to be with him herself, because he deserved it.
She stayed up well into the night and even into the early morning reading the story he’d written for her. It was about a girl who wandered into a fairy garden by mistake, and the trials and tribulations and unexpected happiness that came afterwards. Ahiru was transfixed by the story, drawn in by Fakir’s writing and the plot he had woven; he’d outdone himself on this one, it was even better than all the other stories of his that she’d read up to this point. She ended up eating some of the fudge he’d made her as a sort of late night snack, though she was careful not to get any smudges on the pages. She finally finished it about an hour or so past midnight, maybe a little later, and only then laid down to sleep. She couldn’t drift off right away though, as her mind was still buzzing with thoughts about the story, and so it wasn’t for another little while yet that she fell asleep.
Ahiru woke up late because of that, and when she finally dragged herself into the playroom, still yawning, she found Fakir and Rue just finishing breakfast. Rue raised an eyebrow as she saw her come in. “Morning, sleepyhead,” she teased her. “Were you too excited to go to bed right away?”
Ahiru blushed. “Y-yeah, I - I guess you could say that…”
"Well, at least there’s no class for you to sleep through today." Rue dabbed at the corner of her mouth with her napkin before standing up. "I was thinking of going into the village for a while; do you want me to wait for you? Or meet you there?"
"No, thank you." Ahiru shook her head, her glance straying for a moment to where Fakir sat beside her. "I - I don’t really feel like going there today, sorry… I was gonna stay here. Go ahead and go, a-and have fun!"
"All right. But if you change your mind, feel free to come find me." Rue smiled. "I’ll see you later, then."
"Bye!" Ahiru waved at her, and then turned her attention to eating a little breakfast with what was left. The toast was cold and the porridge was lukewarm, but the tea was still hot, and helped her feel a little more awake once she’d gulped it down in between bites. Fakir was done eating already, but he remained at the table nevertheless to keep her company.
"So, um… what were you thinking of doing today?" Ahiru asked as she finished eating. She was still a little sleepy even after the tea, and her inclination was to lean her head on Fakir’s shoulder and nap, but that was out of the question. "Do you, um… do you wanna do something together?"
"Sure." Fakir looked over at her. "You shouldn’t feel obligated to, though… if you’d rather go into town or enjoy your presents, that’s fine."
"No, I do want to! And… and I already really enjoyed one last night." She blushed. "Th-that’s why I woke up late, cause I was up really late reading the story and then when I finished I couldn’t stop thinking about it and fall asleep for a while cause it was so good. Thank you so, so much!"
"Y-you’re welcome." Fakir felt a blush spread across his own face. "I… wh-what were you thinking of doing now?"
"I - I dunno exactly, but…” She rubbed her eyes and yawned again. “I - I’m still kinda sleepy, so maybe we should go outside or something to help me stay awake? If that’s okay…”
"That’s fine." He stood up. "It’s up to you, after all."
They headed downstairs, Ahiru thinking all the while about the story again. She wanted to talk more about it with Fakir, ask him about little details in it, about how he’d come up with the story itself and what had made him decide to write something for her as a present. So many questions, and she didn’t know where to begin; she’d have to think about it while they walked.
As they drew near to the door, Ahiru thought she heard Uzura’s drumming, and tensed up: as much as she normally liked playing with Uzura, she wanted time alone with Fakir to talk about the story and how much it meant to her. She looked nervously for her around the corners, but when she didn’t appear she breathed a sigh of relief and then immediately felt guilty. She knew she was being selfish, but she couldn’t help it.
Neither one of them spoke much as they strolled through the gardens. Fakir was usually quiet, so that didn’t surprise Ahiru, but he wondered at her relative silence more and more with each passing minute. It didn’t seem like her not to be babbling to him about everything that crossed her mind, and she seemed distracted. Was she upset by something, was something wrong? Had she had a bad dream on her birthday of all nights? He couldn’t help but worry over it.
To her surprise and his, he was the one to finally break the ice as they headed into the gazebo to pause and rest a little. “So, you… really liked the story?”
"Yes!" Ahiru brightened, happy to have had the conversation started for her, as she’d been trying desperately the whole time to think of what to ask first and how to get things going. "It was so good, Fakir, I think it was the best one of your stories I’ve ever read so far! You always write so beautifully, and you made such interesting characters, and I was really into the plot, I couldn’t stop reading. A-and I had some of the fudge as a snack and it was delicious, thank you again for that too!" She paused to take a breath. "I - I didn’t want to say this in front of anyone else cause I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, but… the story you wrote me is my favorite of all the presents I got."
"… Really?" Warmth rose up in him, and his eyes stung a little. "You… liked it that much?"
"No, I loved it!” Ahiru said earnestly. “I - I knew I would, just like I told you last night, but even then, I… I loved it even more than I thought I would, it was just so good, and… and it just means so much to me that you did that for me.” Her voice caught a little. “Wh-what made you want to do that? It must have been so much work…”
"I told you last night, I wanted to give you something unique. Something you couldn’t buy anywhere." Fakir shifted. "I was already working on it when you said the same thing about what you gave me for my birthday, so I was glad I could return the favor. I didn’t want to just buy things for you, because…" He stopped. "Besides, you enjoyed all the other ones, so I thought you might like it."
"I loved it," Ahiru repeated, her eyes shining. "Oh, Fakir… it really does mean so much to me that you’d want to do something like that for me. I think it’s the best gift anyone’s ever given me, it’s so special to me."
"I… I’m glad." Fakir swallowed. "To tell you the truth, I kind of… I wondered if it was maybe a bit pretentious or - or egotistical to do something like that, I didn’t know if you’d really want such a thing as a present."
"But of course I did!" Ahiru shook her head. "It wasn’t those things at all, it was wonderful, I love it so much and I’m so happy that you’d put so much time and effort into doing that for me. Cause - cause I know that stories are really personal and they take a lot of work to write, and you wrote so much and it was so good and you outdid yourself I think, I really do, so it must’ve taken so much hard work to make it come out the way it did, and you did all that just for me, to try to make me happy, and…” She sniffled a little, and smiled at him. “I - I don’t know if I deserve it, but… but it really does mean a lot to me. A-and you mean a lot to me too,” she added shyly, her cheeks turning pink. “Thank you so much.”
Fakir had opened his mouth to say something - likely about how yes, she did deserve it - but now it hung open in a stunned expression. After a moment, he managed to find his voice again, still scarcely believing he’d heard what she’d just said. “I… do?”
"Y-yeah." Ahiru nodded, still blushing. "Of - of course you do, you should know that. You’ve been such a good friend to me, you’re always so kind to me, and - and supportive and understanding, you never make fun of me for being afraid of stuff or feeling excited about things and you make me feel better when I’m sad… you always make me feel stronger and more okay, I feel like I can really be myself around you. I - I really like being around you, and spending time with you, I have so much fun with you, and I know you don’t think you’re very nice but you are, you really are, I’m so happy I met you and - and I value you a lot and…” She trailed off, her blush deepening. “Oh… I shouldn’t be saying all this…”
"Huh?" Fakir frowned. He couldn’t deny that it made him feel more flustered than he had, perhaps, ever been in her presence - which was saying something - to hear those words, but that didn’t make it any less confusing that she thought she shouldn’t be telling him such things. "W-why not?"
"Cause… cause I…" Ahiru swallowed and looked away. Stupid, she berated herself, stupid, I’ve said too much, I slipped up and now he’s going to figure it out… and I’ve been so good for the past few months but now I messed up, I’m so stupid! “I don’t… I don’t wanna ruin things, I really don’t… we’ve still got so much school together left, a-and then you’re going to stay and work here, and I’m glad about that, I really am, but - but I don’t want to make things awkward and I don’t want you to feel… to feel obligated or anything, o-or like you have to go work somewhere else and avoid me even though I’d understand if you wanted to…” Her voice caught again, but not from happy tears this time. “I - I’m sorry, I messed up… I didn’t want to make things awkward but I did it anyway, I’m so sorry…”
What in the world was she saying? It almost sounded like… but no, that couldn’t be it. Something else was bothering her. “Hey - wait -” Fakir caught her hand as she started to turn away. "Ahiru… what are you saying?”
She stared up at him. “You - you don’t know?” She would’ve thought he’d have guessed - he was so smart and it felt like she was being so obvious.
Fakir shook his head. “No. Am I supposed to?”
"I… I guess not, but…" Ahiru stared down at where he was still holding her hand, so gently. She swallowed. There was time yet to get out of this, if she wanted to. Maybe. She didn’t know how, but she supposed there was a way to back out and not tell him, if she could think of it. "I - I’m saying… that, that I…" She closed her eyes. "I love you." She swallowed again, feeling a lump forming in her throat. "I - I’m sorry if that’s n-not an okay thing to say, I don’t expect you to say anything back, you don’t have to, I just… I just…" She fell silent as he let go of her hand, and her heart sank. This had definitely been a mistake, she knew that for sure now.
Her regret didn’t last long, though, because he’d let go of her hand so that he could touch her cheek. She opened her eyes when she felt his fingers on her skin, and looked up to see him staring at her with a mixture of disbelief and joy on his face. “I love you too,” Fakir whispered, and there was a hoarseness to his voice that hadn’t been there a moment ago.
"Wh-wh-what?" Her mouth fell open and she gaped at him, barely able to breathe in her shock. "Y-you - you - you do? R-really?"
Fakir nodded. He barely trusted his voice, but he made himself speak anyway. “I do. I…” His breath hitched. “Ahiru, I…”
"Oh… oh, Fakir! I - I - !" Ahiru hesitated for just a second, and then flung herself at him, burying her face in his chest and wrapping her arms around him. "I - I can’t believe it, I just, I can’t… I… I mean, n-not that I don’t believe you or - or think you’re lying, I just… I…"
"No… I know what you mean." Fakir slipped his arms around her and leaned his head against hers, inhaling the faint scent of honeysuckle that still clung to her from the flower crown she’d worn yesterday. He closed his eyes and reached up to stroke her hair, and was rewarded by her hugging him even more tightly. They held each other quietly for a few minutes until he finally spoke again. "I… didn’t expect you to say that either," he confessed. "I never thought you’d…"
"Really?" Ahiru pulled back just enough to look at him. "I - I thought I was being really obvious, I thought you’d catch on, cause you’re so smart and I’m bad at lying and I said a lot of stuff and I couldn’t think of a way to not tell you at that point even though I didn’t mean to. I - I mean, I’m glad I did, but… I’m just surprised you didn’t know what I was going to say before I said it."
Fakir laughed, and there was still some disbelief audible in it. “I guess I’m not that smart, then.” He touched her cheek again, and she shivered. “I… did think it sounded like you might be trying to say that, but I didn’t actually believe it could be.”
"That - that’s silly, cause - cause of course it is… but, but I also understand, cause…" Ahiru paused to take a shaky breath as the happy tears that had been gathering in her eyes began to spill out. "I - I also didn’t think…"
"You didn’t think what? Ahiru, what’s wrong?" Fakir asked, alarmed.
"Nothing!" Ahiru shook her head and smiled through her tears. "I - I’m not sad, I’m - I’m really happy. Really! I’m just… also really surprised, cause I never thought you’d ever feel that way about me, I thought you’d want somebody that was completely different from me, I thought… I was afraid I’d ruined everything by telling you."
"No." Fakir shook his head and wiped some of her tears away. "You didn’t. I don’t blame you for feeling like that, though." He let his breath out. "I’ve been afraid too. You’re not the only one."
"Really?" Ahiru reached up and touched his hand, holding it in place on her cheek. "H-how long have you felt this way about me?"
"I’ve known since Twelfth Night that I love you," Fakir said quietly. "I know I felt it before then, but it wasn’t until that night when you kissed me that I knew for sure that that’s what it was. What it is, I mean."
"That long? Wow… b-but wait!" Ahiru’s eyes widened. "You - you said on Valentine’s Day - you said there was no one you wanted to get a love letter from! Wh-why -"
"I was lying," Fakir interrupted her. "I’m sorry. I had to. You know how Rue is, I couldn’t… it wasn’t at all how I would’ve wanted you to find out."
"… Oh." It was exactly like Rue had said. "Oh… I… wow." She couldn’t help but laugh. "I - I feel so silly now…"
"Don’t. It’s what anyone would think." Fakir hesitated. "I… can I… when did you know? If you don’t mind telling me."
"Of course I don’t mind." Ahiru smiled. "It was in the garden, at Raetsel’s party, when you smiled at me and said I was stuck with you forever. I’d been so silly for ages, I thought I just had a crush on you, but I was wrong… when you said that to me, I suddenly knew that I loved you." She squeezed his hand, and fresh tears of joy brimmed in her eyes. "I love you so much… I’m so happy you love me too."
"Of course I do." Fakir’s voice shook. "I… oh, Ahiru…"
"Fakir…"
She let go of his hand, but he kept it where it was. He stroked her cheek, making her blush and sigh happily. They both hesitated, and then moved closer to each other. Much like in her daydreams, he leaned down and she stood up on her toes to meet him, bracing herself by holding onto him for support. It was more difficult in reality than it had been in her fantasies, though, and they didn’t align themselves properly at first. Their noses bumped, and Ahiru let out a breathless little giggle, breaking some of the tension. Fakir smiled, and then waited for her to go still before tilting his head and softly touching his lips to hers. Ahiru gasped at the sensation, and so did Fakir, and she could feel him trembling. He whispered her name again before pressing his mouth a little more firmly against hers. Ahiru clung to him in response, returning the kiss with an almost desperate eagerness. She’d yearned for this for so long, and it was everything she’d dreamed of and more. According to some of the books she’d read, you were supposed to see fireworks or something when you kissed the person you loved, but that didn’t really do justice at all to how it felt to kiss Fakir, not in the slightest. Kissing him felt so right, so overdue, like rain after a drought; her head was spinning like a top and it felt like she’d cast a levitation spell on herself. It was like nothing she’d ever experienced and she didn’t want it to end.
They kissed for what seemed like a long time and yet not long enough, pulling apart only reluctantly so they could catch their breath. Ahiru’s heart fluttered as she opened her eyes and looked up at Fakir - he looked dazed and dizzy, and happier than she’d ever seen him. She leaned up to kiss him on the cheek, and the smile he gave her as their eyes met took her breath away again. “I love you,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “I love you, Ahiru.”
"I love you too, Fakir…" Feeling like she would burst from happiness, she kissed him again, this time on the lips. Fakir’s arms tightened around her, and she let out a muffled little sigh. It all seemed almost too good to be true, but she knew this was real, every bit of it. Real and perfect.
They stayed in the gazebo for the rest of the morning, kissing and holding each other and whispering to one another of their affections and giving new context to old memories. Ahiru confessed, giggling, to having lied about her reasons for kissing him under the mistletoe on Twelfth Night, and Fakir admitted that he’d hoped that one of the love letters on Valentine’s Day had been from her, among other things they told each other. When they became too hungry to ignore it, they conjured up some food from the castle, and sat beneath a tree outside to eat it. Neither one wanted to go back to the castle just yet - they wanted to be alone with each other for as long as possible.
Later, as they walked hand in hand by the duck pond like in a dream she’d once had, it occurred to Ahiru that she really had gotten everything she’d wanted.