After dinner at the model home, Tobias cleared the table and began washing the dishes, while everyone else decided to go to bed. As soon as they were out of earshot, Tobias stopped to pick up the phone on the counter.
He called and got Sitwell's voicemail. "This is Dr. Tobias Fünke. I thought you should know that George Bluth has been convincing Lindsay to stay his daughter. She even promised that she'd return all your birthday presents for money. Just FYI."
Upstairs, the kids' bedroom door was still locked, so they had to go through Lindsay and Tobias's room.
"Oh, I better not forget these." George Michael picked up the cashier's checks from the dresser.
George Sr. warned them, "Hey, no more locking doors and making out, okay? Annulment first."
"Okay, Pop-Pop." George Michael went through the adjoining bathroom and unlocked the door.
"Good boy. Now get your stuff and go downstairs. I left Franklin there, if you want company." Then George Sr. retired to the master bedroom.
George Michael didn't appreciate the reminder of Gob, but he didn't say anything. He put the cashier's checks on his desk and hung up his father's jacket, then pulled out his pajamas and robe.
Maeby was going to change too, but Lindsay drew her back to the pink room and sat her on the bed by the window. "Honey, while he's busy, let's have a girl talk."
"Yeah, you know. About birth control."
"Oh Mom! Not the sex talk!" Maeby groaned. "I already know about--"
"I know, I know," Lindsay said, "but tell me about you and George Michael. How long have you been making out? Do you love him?"
"Mom!" Maeby shushed her, and she still wished that she were emancipated, so that she could get away from her parents.
"Come on, Maeby, this is new and exciting! I mean, I didn't even know that you broke up with Steve Holt."
"That was months ago!" Maeby had drugged Steve Holt with a forget-me-now, to make him think that they had sex, when they really didn't. Afterward, Steve was quite upset, believing that they were cousins, and she was relieved to stop dating him.
Lindsay said, "Well I'm sorry. I guess I was confused, because he kept coming around to see Gob too."
"Yeah, because Gob's his dad, and that makes us cousins. But wait, I guess technically we aren't blood-related either."
"Oh, and here I thought that Steve just liked doing magic with him!" Lindsay laughed. "Hey, isn't that funny, you dating both of your not-cousins?"
"No, it's not."
Lindsay shrugged. "Anyway, if you don't wanna talk about George Michael, fine, but we still need to discuss condoms, and maybe get you a prescription for birth control pills too." This was a rare attempt on her part to be a good mother.
Maeby still looked uncomfortable. The only thing that could have made it worse, would be Tobias joining in and trying to demonstrate with a banana.
Lindsay sighed with regret about her mostly sexless marriage. "Now, your daddy and I haven't had any... accidents ourselves, but I did date a lot of other guys before I met him, so I know how easy it is to get pregnant." Dozens of times.
While Maeby reluctantly listened to her mother, George Michael finished changing clothes and brushed his teeth. Then he grabbed a pillow and blanket to take downstairs, but first he looked in and said good night to them.
"Good night," Lindsay answered.
Maeby on the other hand jumped up and rushed over to him, kissing him passionately. George Michael nearly dropped the bedding.
But George Sr. came out to the hall and cleared his throat sternly.
So Maeby let go and murmured, "Good night."
"Yeah." George Michael nodded and smiled goofily. "G-Good night." Then he backed away clumsily and hurried around the corner toward the stairs.
Maeby watched him go and wished that she could escape, but Lindsay wanted to finish their 'girl talk.'
Tobias went upstairs as George Michael went down. After putting Franklin aside on the ottoman, George Michael made his bed on the living room couch. Then he turned off the lights and lay down, thinking about Maeby. He couldn't wait for his dad to get home, and for him and Maeby to get an annulment. Then everything would be perfect.
Over breakfast, George Sr. said that there wasn't enough room in the staircar to take everybody to the station, so they should probably call and ask somebody to bring over the Mercedes. "Buster and them might wanna come too."
George Michael said, "Just--just as long as I don't have to ride with Uncle Gob. Um, I also have to give these checks to Dad's lawyer."
"Oh, well we'd better call her too, and see what time she can meet us there."
Maeby had to go to Tantamount Studios, though, and she decided to keep it a secret, in case she did want to emancipate herself after all. "Actually, I can't go today. I have school."
George Sr. asked, "I thought school was out already?"
"Right, but I'm in summer school, 'cause I missed so many classes at Openings, remember?"
"Oh, not that New Age feel-goodery!" George Sr. shook his head disapprovingly.
Lindsay and Tobias pretended that they knew all along about summer school. "Oh, yes! That was in that letter, right?"
"Yes, you should get back to school, young lady."
"Study hard, because you don't want to repeat the 9th grade again." Age-wise, Maeby should have just finished 11th grade with George Michael.
"Do you need a ride, Maeby?"
"No, I'll take the bus." To the place where she parked her red car.
So George Sr. called the penthouse, while Tobias cleared the dishes, and the others went upstairs to dress.
George Michael asked Maeby, "Are you really going back to school?"
She replied, "No, I'm just going to my job. I think I should keep working at the studio, so I'll have money to keep my car and my phone."
"Oh, okay. Well, I'll see you when you get home." He gave her a soft kiss, before going to change out of his pajamas in the bathroom.
Maeby glanced down at her clipboard of signatures and wondered if she should back out of pitching the TV series. The Bluths might become very upset with her if they found out about the show, and they might not let her see George Michael anymore. But on the other hand, no one had kicked Tobias out of the family for his involvement in Scandalmakers. Well, maybe she better go get Steve Holt's signature, just in case.
Oscar was still too afraid to be near cops or jails, so Gob and Buster left without him. Lucille 2 promised to pick up new glasses and a new prosthetic hand for Buster. At the model home, Gob immediately went inside to look for Franklin, whom George Sr. had mentioned on the phone.
"Franklin, where are you?" Then he spotted the puppet in the living room and rushed to hug him. "Oh, I thought I'd lost you and the yacht!"
"Come on, let's go," George Sr. said shortly. "We need to straighten out this mess with your mother." He was angry because Jan Eagleman had told him on the phone that she wasn't going to represent Lucille.
Gob said, "Wait, I gotta change out of this tux, Dad. And you said that you had my phone too."
"Oh yeah. Here." George Sr. handed over the cell phone. "The police wanted to confiscate it at first, but I claimed that it was mine. Apparently they only wanted evidence against Michael."
"Thanks, Dad. But why are they after Michael?"
"I don't know. Maybe because he's been running things for three years and hasn't learned how to cover up for Lucille yet. I gotta talk to the lawyer about the whole thing."
"Oh, okay. So I'll go get changed." He headed for the stairs.
"Wait, Gob. George Michael's up there. Make sure you don't bother him, because he's still pretty mad at you."
"Mad enough to hit me again?"
George Sr. shrugged. "I don't know. He said he didn't want to ride in the car with you. Hey, why don't you just take your Segway there?"
"I left it at Steve Holt's."
After George Michael took the yacht, Gob had to ride the Segway to his son's house, because he had no money and was only wearing his robe and boxers. Steve Holt agreed to pick up Gob's tuxedo for him, but looked disappointed that he wasn't invited to the boat party. "Can't I come with you, Dad? I didn't get to go to the gala either."
"No, it won't be any fun, and you don't even have a tux. I've gotta get revenge on Michael anyway. You stay here with your mom."
"Okay." Steve Holt turned away and did the sad Charlie Brown walk.
George Sr. told Gob, "Fine, then go with Buster in the staircar." As he exited, he called out, "George Michael, we're going!"
"I'm coming!" George Michael hurried downstairs with the checks and the marriage license, which Jan Eagleman had said he should bring. Then he spotted Gob in the living room and paused, glaring at his uncle silently.
Gob didn't dare to speak, so after George Michael left the house, Gob went up to the attic for some extra clothes. As he changed out of his tuxedo, he asked, "Hey, Franklin, you wanna come visit Michael?"
"No! Keep my black ass away from those motherfucking cops!"
"Oh, right. I forgot what dad said." Franklin had also been tackled once as a suspected kidnapper. So Gob said, "Well, you'll be safe here, and I'll come pick you up after I get the yacht back."
At the police station, George Michael met with Jan Eagleman first, to give her the checks and to discuss his annulment. She had also requested an interview with George Sr. afterward, which made him suspicious.
So Lindsay and Tobias visited Lucille in one room, while George Sr. met with Michael in another.
"Good morning, Lucille." Lindsay took pleasure in not calling her "Mom" anymore.
"How are you?" Tobias asked as they sat down.
"How the fuck do you think I am?" Lucille answered indignantly. "I've been handcuffed, fingerprinted, photographed, and locked up in here all night. It's been over twelve hours since I've even had a drink!"
Lindsay gasped, because Lucille was always meaner when she was sober. "So it's like being in rehab?"
"Worse! And then I find out that I've been appointed some shitty lawyer, who says that I can't make bail, and that I'm getting transferred soon to some other prison to await my trial. If I could just transfer to Orange County Prison, the warden there would treat me well."
Tobias said, "Well, maybe the women's prison will be like Martha Stewart's prison? They might even make a movie about you. I wonder if I could play George again."
Lucille glared at him, then sighed. "Good grief, this family is just falling apart. Annyong turned out to be a mole, Michael took off with the checks, and I suppose you've already become a Sitwell?"
Lindsay answered, "Oh I'm not a Sitwell, even though you tried to sell me to him. I'm just using him for birthday presents and money. Dad said it was okay."
"Speaking of George, do you know why he switched with Oscar again? He wasn't bolting with Kitty the whore, was he?"
"No, he was planning a surprise for my birthday party this weekend."
"Really? He never mentioned that to me."
Lindsay gloated, "Dad wanted to make it extra special for me, because Michael was getting all that attention becoming CEO. But now I'll get his presents too."
Lucille rolled her eyes. "That's all very well for you, Lindsay, but I'm fighting for my freedom right now. I need to know that I can trust your father and depend on him to get me a better lawyer." She lowered her voice, "Apparently, Annyong gave the FBI some tapes full of evidence."
Tobias mused, "Hmm, I wonder how that kid got so much information without us knowing."
They all shrugged and murmured, "You can always tell a Milford man."
Meanwhile, George Sr. informed Michael that his son was with Jan Eagleman, and he asked, "Now what's this crap about her not representing Lucille?"
"It's a conflict of interest, Dad. Didn't she explain that to you?"
George Sr. scoffed dismissively. "I think you're trying to betray the family, Michael. Are you going to testify against your mother so that you can get immunity? That is not how I raised you, Michael!"
"Dad, I'm not betraying anybody. Mom can get another lawyer--"
"This family is supposed to stick together, or didn't you learn that from the mock trial?"
"Oh, like you were gonna stick together by taking Gob's yacht to Cabo? You planned to abandon the family even before the arrests, Dad."
George Sr. hushed him and glanced around, making sure that they weren't overheard.
Michael continued, "Besides, what I learned is that our family shouldn't stick too close together, or else we'll end up with problems like George Michael and Maeby getting married! By the way, tell me how he handled last night. Did you take him over to stay with Buster?"
"What? No, Gob and Oscar stayed with Buster. George Michael stayed on the couch downstairs."
"Oh." Michael frowned and worried. "But you made sure that he didn't sneak back up to Maeby, right?"
"Of course I did, Michael! You think I don't know all the ways to sneak around that house, after living in the attic last year?"
"Oh right. Well, thanks, Dad."
"Yeah, don't worry about the kids." George Sr. then recalled Maeby's request, so he began carefully, "Uh, look, don't get uptight, Michael, but we had a family meeting about this whole marriage thing, and we made a deal."
"Deal?" Michael blinked.
"Yeah. We're gonna let the kids date, as long as they get the annulment and George Michael doesn't knock her up."
"What? Knock her--? Dad!" Michael sputtered in horror. "How could you?"
George Sr. told him, "Easy, easy! There's no reason to get upset."
"Yes there is! They're cousins!"
"But they're not blood-related."
"But they're still family." Michael stared at his father incredulously. "Come on, I told you on the yacht that we needed to leave and get him over Maeby. I thought we were on the same page about this."
"Well, sure, I don't want them to stay married or get pregnant. They're too young for that. But there's no harm in dating, if they don't take it too seriously. Besides, I told you that your boy shouldn't wait any longer to have sex. It's time he became a man."
"With his own cousin?!" Michael groaned and asked, "Wait, what did Lindsay say about this deal, huh? She doesn't care that her daughter and my--" Then Michael frowned and recalled Lindsay pouncing on him in bed and asking him to marry her. He should have known better than to expect normal morality from her. But still, wasn't the mere idea of marrying her adoptive brother, while their kids dated, at all icky to her?
George Sr. answered, "Hey, Lindsay was even excited about the kids being married, but I talked some sense into her and them. Anyway, it's no big deal, Michael. I don't see you getting this upset about the charges against you, or your mother." He accused, "You don't care because you already made your own deal, didn't you?"
"I didn't--! Don't change the subject, Dad! This is a disaster. I've gotta talk to my son. I've gotta get out of here and fix this myself."
George Sr. shook his head. "Michael, you know as well as I do that you can't control who your son dates. If you interfere, it will only drive them closer together, to spite you. But if you back off and let them do their thing, then they'll get sick of each other after a while and they'll move on."
"They should move on right now!" Michael insisted. "They're making a huge mistake. It's wrong and--"
"Michael!" George Sr. gave up the argument out of frustration. "You know, I don't have time for this! I've gotta see that lawyer, I've gotta make sure that Lucille's okay, and then I've gotta make it to that emergency shareholders' meeting. Someone has to do right by this family, even if you won't, Mike." He got up and left the room.
Michael began to follow his father, but he ran into Lindsay and Tobias coming to the door. He asked them, "Is it true? You made a deal with the kids?"
"Yeah," Lindsay answered brightly. "They're so adorable together, Michael."
"Great." Michael shook his head and muttered, "So we can all be one big incestuous family!"
Lindsay said, "They're not blood-related."
Before he could retort, Michael spotted his son coming down the hallway. "George Michael!"
"Hey, Dad!" George Michael rushed to him and hugged him. "You're all right?"
"I'm fine. Come here." He pulled George Michael inside the room and shut the door on Lindsay and Tobias.
George Michael told him, "Jan Eagleman said that you'll probably be released later today. Isn't that great?"
"Yeah." Michael sat him down and spoke seriously, "Listen, buddy, I need to talk to you about Maeby again."
"Yeah, did Pop-Pop tell you--?"
"Oh, he told me, all right! God, I never should have trusted him and Lindsay to help you. What was I thinking?"
The smile faded from George Michael's face. "Wh-what do you mean?"
"I mean this stupid deal that they made with you and Maeby. You cannot date your cousin!"
"But she's not--"
"I know! But it's not about the blood! You told me last night that you understood that."
"Well, um, yeah... But they don't mind--"
Michael grabbed him by the shoulders. "Well they're wrong, George Michael! They're wrong. This is exactly why we should get away from this insane family. Look, buddy, I know that you're all mixed up now because of what they said, but you cannot act on your feelings for Maeby! You can't be with her."
George Michael looked upset and asked, "Why not?"
"Because she's family!"
"But I--" He loved her.
"No, no!" Michael tried to shake some sense into him, then hugged him tightly. "They are not getting you, son! They're not going to corrupt you and make you just like them. I won't let that happen. First thing after I get out here, we're gonna pack our bags and get out of that model home, okay?"
George Michael blinked, looking shell-shocked. "We are?"
"Yeah. Don't worry. I'll throw Gob out of the penthouse so that we can stay there for right now. Then after the annulment, I'm gonna quit the Bluth Company, and we're getting the hell out of here. We're never coming back."
"N-never?" George Michael recalled Maeby urging him to stand up for himself, but he still couldn't form any words now. He felt so torn between her and his father, and he realized miserably that things weren't going to be perfect after all. George Michael started to cry.
Michael held onto him and shushed him, whispering, "Everything's gonna be all right, pal. I love you."
George Michael pulled away, but would not meet his father's eyes as he sniffled, "I-I have to go."
Michael assumed that his son was just embarrassed about crying, so he patted his back. "Sure, buddy. Just go home and wait for me to pick you up."
Getting up, George Michael said nothing and left unhappily.
Because the staircar was so slow, Buster and Gob arrived later than the rest of the family. Gob immediately went off to inquire about his yacht, while Buster ran into Lindsay and Tobias comforting George Michael in the hallway.
Lindsay said, "He's being so unreasonable! Don't worry, honey, we'll talk some sense into him. You're not going anywhere. We'll hide you with Stan Sitwell if we have to."
Buster approached and asked them, "Is Mom here?"
Tobias pointed to a door. "Oh, yes. She's right in there."
Lindsay said, "Hey, Buster, I'm taking George Michael home in the staircar. You and Gob can go home with Dad."
So Lindsay left the police station with George Michael, while Tobias went in and talked to Michael.
"Michael, why do you believe it's inappropriate for the kids to date? They're not really cousins."
Michael was growing tired of this conversation. "They're still family, and it's wrong. It's sick and wrong!"
"Why?" Tobias resumed his psychiatrist mode. "You know, Michael, I can't help but think that this might be related to the fact that you're attracted to me."
"You know--when I was interested in that girl Michael from the gym, and you thought I meant you. Methinks that you're projecting your own fear about getting involved with family onto--" He never finished the thought, because Michael angrily chased him from the room and slammed the door.
Then he sat down again, groaning and waiting for Jan Eagleman to come meet him. He even considered betraying the family after all, if only to break off all ties with them, once and for all.
Then Gob entered the room, and Michael was again disappointed that it wasn't his lawyer. Gob looked disappointed too, but he quickly cheered up and went to hug Michael intensely.
"No!" Michael grunted and pushed him off. "Stop it, Gob! I'm having a horrible day."
"Well, I'm having a horrible day, too," Gob answered. "I just tried to get my yacht back, but the police impounded it, and they say that I'm not the registered owner, 'cause it's under the Bluth Company name. So I told them that I'm the company president, but they didn't believe me."
Michael couldn't believe Gob's continued confusion. "That's because you're not the president. I am."
"But you just got arrested, guy," Gob pointed out. "So that means I'm president again."
"No you're not! And I'll be out of here soon, anyway. It's my job, not yours."
"Hey, what do you care about who's in charge, Michael? You just tried to skip off to Cabo with my yacht." Typical Michael, fleeing down South America way.
Michael shushed him and denied, "I wasn't skipping off. I was just taking my son home, okay? He was very upset, as you should know."
Gob countered, "Well, he wouldn't have been upset, if you hadn't sent him over to my yacht in the first place."
"I didn't send him. I didn't even know about your... girlfriend." Michael spoke the last word with contempt, and he sighed. "Gob, how could you not tell me all these months who your Christian girlfriend was?"
"You never asked me, guy, and I had to keep it a secret from George Michael anyway."
"Yeah, because it was wrong, Gob! I mean, you should be ashamed of yourself. She's not even 18."
"No, she is. She told me herself."
"Gob, she's in the same grade as George Michael! And do you seriously think that if there was an age difference, that I wouldn't have tried to break them up because of that?" He'd certainly tried everything else.
"Why would she lie?"
Michael shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe she's going by some crazy, old-fashioned Biblical calendar. Maybe she's adding nine months in the womb."
Gob considered that. "Huh. So that's why we always had chaperones on our dates?" While chaperoning, her various Christian friends also tried to help reform him. "But hey, the Veals didn't mind me dating her, and they didn't care about her moving in with me on the yacht."
"Well, something's screwed up with that family anyway. Mrs. Veal can't be her mother. She doesn't even know what making love is."
Gob frowned and nodded. "That is weird. Well maybe I should break up with her, if she's not 18." He certainly wasn't going to wait two years for her to be legal.
"Of course you should break up. You never should have been dating her in the first place, Gob. I mean, even if you didn't know her real age, you should have known how George Michael would feel."
"But Michael, she dumped him! And she came in third place in the pageant, so she wanted a man."
Michael scoffed and rolled his eyes.
"Besides, you didn't want George Michael to date her anyway."
Michael blinked. "And you thought that you dating her would fix that?"
"Yeah!" Gob felt that Michael never appreciated all the things that he did for him. "Plus, I helped you get out of those chains and save him from the army, even after you stole my son. Anyway, so if I dump her now, will you help me get my yacht back?"
"Is that all you care about, Gob? Your yacht?"
"Come on, Michael! The cops won't let me get any of my stuff back, either, because they're still searching it. I left all my props there, and now I can't do my magic. I've only got Franklin now, 'cause Dad saved him. Are you gonna help me or not?"
"Fine!" Michael gave in. The police would probably stop searching and release the yacht once they got the cashier's checks, anyway. "But you gotta help me with something too, Gob. You stayed with Buster last night, right?"
"Yeah, and I guess I'll have to stay there until I get my yacht back."
"No you can't stay at the penthouse, Gob. I need you to leave, because George Michael and I are going there as soon as I get out of jail."
"You are? Why?"
"Because I need to get him away from Maeby and those idiots who made that deal."
"What deal?" Gob asked. "Why's George Michael mad at Maeby?"
"He's not mad at her. What, nobody told you yet?"
Gob shook his head. In a hurry, George Sr. had not explained about the kissing cousins over the phone.
So Michael explained with a sigh, "Well, he's got some big crush on Maeby, and they accidentally got married. Then Dad, Lindsay, and Tobias made a deal with the kids that they could date if they get an annulment. Can you believe that?"
Gob shrugged and only wondered, "But Lindsay's adopted, right?"
"They're still family!" Michael insisted stubbornly. "Promise me that you're not gonna take their side, Gob. We cannot let those kids be together."
Gob didn't care either way, only looking out for his self-interest. "And if I do, then you'll help me get my yacht back?"
"I'm serious," Michael pressed. "Don't let Dad talk you into agreeing with him." Feeling outnumbered, he really wanted Gob to be loyal to him again. But maybe he was expecting too much, especially given Gob's own incestuous harassment of Michael. "Please."
Gob answered, "Okay. I'll move out, but where should I go, then?"
Michael shrugged. "I guess you can go stay at the model home until the yacht's released. But listen, Gob, you can't be around when George Michael and I are packing up and moving. I don't want you to upset him again."
"All right, I'll hide or go to Steve Holt's to get my Segway. Then you'll get my yacht back, right?"
"Great!" So Gob hugged Michael excessively again, even pushing onto the same chair with him.
"Hey!" Michael turned away from his kiss and groaned. "Okay. That's enough. Stop."