tabacoychanel



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    "You could, though," Steve said. "If you were willing to hurt me."

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    14 May 2022

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Dean keeps dying and Sam can't change that. But Sam's last resort might just be the last thing he ever does.

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    23 Apr 2022

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  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Follows 2x08, "Crossroad Blues." Dean's running on fumes, and Sam's the match.

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    23 Mar 2022

    Bookmarker's Notes

    "You can."

    "Yeah, well, I don't want to."

    And God help him, the truth was, Dean didn't want him to. His fist tightened against the small of Sam's back, against the supple cords of muscle there, and Sam turned his face into Dean's neck, breathing him in. Feeling Sam against him made Dean ache in a way he didn't have words for, made him want things he was afraid to name.

    They had to stop. But he felt like the pieces of him were laid out all over the grass they'd walked across, spilled out and lying there in the moonlight, and only Sam could find them all and keep them all safe, only Sam had the answer for this terrifying, wordless vertigo rolling through him. Just this once, he caught himself thinking. Who would know? Who would it hurt, if he let this happen, let this insane, awful, fucked up thing happen between him and Sam, just this once?

    Sam, that's who, he told himself, and it wasn't the whole truth but he seized on it as the one thing that had a chance in hell of stopping him. Sam, who thought he had to do this because Dean needed it. Sam, who hadn't gotten laid in a year and a half, who thought he couldn't love or touch anyone because if he did, they'd end up dead on a ceiling—that's who was gonna get hurt if he let this happen.

  4. Public Bookmark 44

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    16 Mar 2022

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    Bookmarker's Notes

    Dean was thinking of the look on his father's face when Sammy had first opened his mouth and called out "Dean." How dad had looked at Sammy, then at Dean, before getting out of the car and walking around outside for a long time. Dean didn't know why, but he didn't like it. And Sammy was going to say "daddy" if Dean had to sit there and say it to him all the time. He frowned, wondering if dad had heard Sammy say "juice" yet.

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    "You know why. I'm not leaving my brother alone out there."

    Sam is dependent on Dean's touch and closeness after the wall falls - Dean's presence reminds him of why he chose to wake up, and keeps the memories at bay, allowing Sam to function.
    The brothers have to face up to what happens when their Winchester codependency becomes literal, and the physical, spatial and temporal boundaries of their bond blur the line between familiar and suffocating, comforting and limiting.

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    13 Mar 2022

    Bookmarker's Notes

    But Sam did it for him, and the truth of it is in the way Sam can't look at him but the way he's sharing Dean's air, elbow pressed against Dean's. It sits big and precarious and terrifying in Dean's chest.
    ///
    He'd never say it, but there's something comforting about having a living, breathing person that you love wrapped up in bed with you, a secret warm little place of just the two of you underneath covers. Even when that person's your little brother - maybe even especially, because he knows everything there is to know about Sam, a body he's helped grow from the skinny clingy kid to the man curled up with him now.