suchanidiot



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  1. Once Upon a Time (TV) (10)

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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    “I’m sure there’s people in Storybrooke who would jump at the chance of fucking you, Regina.” Regina makes a face, as if Emma’s words are distasteful, and sure they are but Emma’s out of herself, and if her vocabulary is vulgar while sober, then she doesn’t know what the hell Regina expects when she’s not. “Try Tinder.”

    “Emma… Storybrooke is the size of a shoebox. I know every person in this town and believe me, none of them are viable options.”

    “Why?”

    “Because… We have history.”

    Emma scoffs.

    “So what? We have history and I would fuck you.”

    Or, Emma would swear Regina is trying to kill her with just how much she's teasing her. (The thing is, Emma will most definitely let her).

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,186
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    70
    Kudos:
    1021
    Bookmarks:
    143
    Hits:
    10271

    12 Jun 2022

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Regina and Emma start having secret hate-sex, which very quickly unravels into something a lot more complicated.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    67,165
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    213
    Kudos:
    1128
    Bookmarks:
    212
    Hits:
    18262

    19 Feb 2022

  3. Public Bookmark 64

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    Regina and Emma have been like two passing ships in the night due to crazy work schedules for the past week and a half. Emma decides to risk Regina's anger by giving her a little "gift" to show her how sexually frustrated she is.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,773
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    25
    Kudos:
    523
    Bookmarks:
    64
    Hits:
    19385

    19 Feb 2022

  4. Public Bookmark 61

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    For Emma Swan, Agent of G.O.D.M.O.T.H.E.R., saving the world is just another Tuesday. Her latest mission: to infiltrate the tiny island nation of Corazón and put a stop to yet another megalomaniacal scheme from the mind of the local tyrant. This isn't her first high-stakes, globe-trotting rodeo, and she fully expects it to go as smoothly as all the rest.

    It’s amazing how wrong she can be sometimes.



    “Agent... Swan, was it?” greets the queen. “Please, sit.”

    “Never,” she snaps. “Do you expect me to talk?”

    “No, Miss Swan, I expect you to sit and have lunch like a civilized human being.”

    Ugh, the food really does smell good. “Lunch?" Emma echoes, dropping into the offered chair as sulkily as she can. "It’s already three in the afternoon."

    “Yes, you were behind schedule." The queen aims a judgmental stare down the length of her perfect nose. "Don’t worry, I accept your apology.”

    “You're the worst,” Emma mumbles around a mouthful of salad.

    “What was that?”

    Emma swallows. “I said, this is a first.” She wishes more people fed her before trying to kill her.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    31,760
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    83
    Kudos:
    262
    Bookmarks:
    61
    Hits:
    2646

    27 Sep 2021

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Emma takes the glass from her with a grateful little laugh after settling the girl down onto the couch beside her. She takes a hefty swig of the whiskey and Regina has to gather up every bit of energy that she has left to keep herself standing. Because… this isn’t déjà vu. Because, this is Emma. Emma, who has not yet introduced herself and so how in the hell could Regina even know her name? Emma, who Regina already knows. Emma, who Regina lov—

    She swallows the whiskey in one terrible go.

    (or, whoops, vauge post s7, yet another damn curse, take all the characters i like, add 'em into a s1 setting and shake. maybe it might lead to something resembling a happily ever after).

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    34,170
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    181
    Kudos:
    615
    Bookmarks:
    113
    Hits:
    7088

    25 Sep 2021