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  1. Rec *

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    Summary

    The problem is, no one knows how to market Ilya Rozanov's (in his own words) sexy Euro masculinity to an audience of white straight men.

    He needs the best. And if it happens to be his secret lover’s mother who despises his very existence, so be it.


    +16319607169

    See? That is what I need. Do not care that you are not professional. You are best
    This is Ilya Rozanov

    Yuna

    This is a fucking joke, right?

    Series
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    English
    Words:
    13,908
    Chapters:
    2/2
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    22
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    2,661
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    08 Jun 2026

  2. Rec *

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    “You are planning to rob me or what?” He hears Rozanov call, and he can’t help but smile slightly even as he rolls his eyes, closing the door to the linen closet and feeling strangely lighter than when he opened it, reassured that he’s just trying to read into a blank page, that today doesn’t mean anything more than Rozanov doesn’t mind him being around, which is strangely flattering.

    “I don’t know,” he calls back. “Don’t Russians like diamonds and fur and stuff? Where should I start looking if I want to know what my options are?”

    He hears Rozanov laugh, and it makes him smile.

    When he joins him in the living room once more, Rozanov tugs him down to lean against him again. Shane goes easier this time, settling into it, knowing it doesn’t mean anything other than the fact that he just happens to be the closest warm body, the person on Rozanov’s roster who filled today’s slot.

    (the tuna meltdown doesn't happen) (this does not mean they get ANY better at communication)

    (or: how shane didn't realize he had a boyfriend for several months)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,094
    Chapters:
    1/1
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    1,061
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    16,682
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    4,835
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    138,736

    08 Jun 2026

  3. Rec *

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    “Can’t hang out tonight, Hayd. I have plans.”

    “Bullshit,” Hayden responds. “You never have plans.”

    Objectively, this used to be true. Nowadays Shane has many, many plans, between his nightly plans to look at Ilya’s penis through Skype and his various long-term plans laid out helpfully in his notebook, Canva (For Ilya’s sake. He is a visual learner), and more recently, Excel. Shane loves that excel sheet. He’s colour coded it.

     

    In 2017, Shane Hollander spirals and proposes to his boyfriend of 4 days (or 7 years, or 9 years, or not his boyfriend at all, depending on how you look at it), which leads to a lot of plans, weird theories in the Montreal Voyageur locker room, some Twitter drama, and Ilya Rozanov entering his WAG era.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    118,812
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    4,759
    Kudos:
    26,045
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    9,414
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    725,156

    31 May 2026

  4. Rec *

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    Ilya Rozanov has been drafted by Boston, the number one pick overall, but his father doesn't want him moving to America and so takes steps to block his visa. He's going to have to go back to Russia and stay there forever and that, thinks Shane Hollander, is wrong.

    It's so wrong that Shane can't stop himself from doing something about it. Even though that something is the most reckless, the only reckless thing he's ever done in his life. He marries Rozanov in secret, to keep him out of Russia and put him on a path to Canadian citizenship.

    Shane's got a five-year plan to get him there and when you have a plan nothing can go wrong. Right? Right. When you have a solid plan and a marriage that's on paper only there's no risk of feelings getting involved. Not on Rozanov's part and certainly not on Shane's.

    Right???

    (or, the story of how Shane Hollander fell in love with his own husband)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    150,160
    Chapters:
    21/21
    Comments:
    5,758
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    16,721
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    7,038
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    547,160

    30 May 2026

  5. Rec *

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    “I am out for the season?”

    “Probably."

    “Are you by any chance looking for a trophy husband?”

    “Ilya.”

    “Yes? No?”

    “It’s one season, Ilya, we’re not—it’s bad because you’re hurting, not because—I’m not letting this fuck anything up for us, okay? We’ll figure something out,” Shane says, resolutely.

    or, you know what they say about the best laid plans

    ilya’s first year in ottawa looks a little different than originally planned, maybe sort of because he ends up spending it recovering a broken leg in his boyfriend’s apartment, but probably mostly because he meets jackie pike

    Language:
    English
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    1/1
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    808
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    175,866

    28 May 2026