generalmayhem



Recent works

Recent bookmarks

  1. Public Bookmark 62

    Tags
    Summary

    Special Agent Anthony Crowley hadn't assumed infiltrating a lesbian convention to sniff out anti-American sentiments would be easy, but he also hadn't banked on an ambiguously-queer academic with peroxide-blonde hair and a talent for seeing right through him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    32,045
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    122
    Kudos:
    206
    Bookmarks:
    62
    Hits:
    2258

    23 Jul 2020

  2. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Finally, Aziraphale spoke. “You mean to say— you got us married?”

    “Just as a precaution, I never really thought I’d end up discorporated again, it’d been ages, you just don’t get stampedes or assassinations like you used to —”

    “You got us married, and you didn’t tell me?”

    ***

    Crowley gets inconveniently discorporated. And it’s not like it’s ever been easy to get a new body, but this time around, things really aren’t looking good. His new innuendo-obsessed lust-demon of a coworker honestly isn’t helping things.

    Meanwhile, Aziraphale has a dead body to contend with, and an occult mortician & his very normal daughter to fend off. What lengths will he go to in order to get Crowley back to Earth?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,774
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    7
    Comments:
    865
    Kudos:
    3325
    Bookmarks:
    1021
    Hits:
    31443

    20 Jul 2020

  3. Public Bookmark 17

    Tags
    Summary

    Sometimes a family is a man-shaped bundle of #BadDecisions, the owner of the very last Blockbuster on Earth, their adopted(?) libertarian mall ninja son(??), a longsuffering EMT, a Southern belle, a chainsmoking goth, a Catholic nightclub bouncer, an omnidirectionally-flirtatious lounge singer, the vengeful ghost that haunts his cursed harmonica, and an angel and a demon watching from the bushes trying to figure out just what the hell is going on.

    Or: Aziraphale and Crowley spy on some fake Satanists and answer their ironic prayers.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,326
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    25
    Kudos:
    51
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    547

    20 Jul 2020

  4. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    The first time he picked up his telephone and didn't hear Joan or one of the other ladies greet him, he just rolled his eyes, assumed they were cross with him, and firmly asked for the shop he was trying to connect to into the receiver like normal. He even said please! And the thing about being a being of considerable occult power with a history of shaping parts of the universe is that, sometimes, the world bends to oblige you.

    So, the only thing that surprised him about Fell answering the line in response to his demand for "an expert on ancient greek and roman preparations of oysters" was that they'd made long-distance calls considerably less bothersome at some point.

    OR

    Crowley is a big fan of technology but has zero idea how it works, which leads to him developing an unlikely friendship with a fussy bookseller who happens to be an expert on a miraculous number of subjects.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,881
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    386
    Kudos:
    840
    Bookmarks:
    236
    Hits:
    7240

    19 Jul 2020

  5. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Anthony Crowley sells computer systems to London businesses–and specializes in sneaking extra charges and fees into the associated contracts. It’s not his fault no one actually reads the paperwork before signing it.

    He thinks mild-mannered bookshop owner Aziraphale Fell will be an easy mark; surely no one that old-fashioned and dotty will spot a few carefully-worded technical clauses in his contract.

    And then Aziraphale comes back with some very polite, very pointed questions – and Crowley decides that maybe pulling off the sale isn’t his first priority anymore…

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    42,219
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Collections:
    9
    Comments:
    847
    Kudos:
    1532
    Bookmarks:
    342
    Hits:
    17948

    19 Jul 2020