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He knows he fucked up enormously and he deserves to wallow in guilt and misery for a long, long time, but it’s Christmas, the season of perpetual hope. He’s wallowed enough for one day, and the woman he adores is sitting next to him, smiling at him, laughing with him, flirting with him a little bit, and he decides that maybe—just for today—it’s alright to be selfish.