be gay do crime
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Summary
Detective Ben Solo finds himself in need of something stronger than a drink after a rough case and the guy who takes the empty seat next him might be the answer. Or the cause.
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Crimes of Passion by Anonymous for YourAverageAspiringAuthor
Fandoms: In the Heights - Miranda
06 Nov 2018
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Pete had warned him that he was planning on keeping Sonny out later than he usually did. Sonny didn't exactly understand what Pete was getting at with that, but he’d quickly accepted the invite to go along with whatever venture Pete had planned. He knew his friend didn't have any intentions to hurt him, or even make him do shit he wasn't comfortable with.
Pete was good like that. Pete was better than most of the people in their age group like that. Pete cared like that.
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Hugging Batman is a Bad Idea by alienfairyprincess
Fandoms: Batman: The Animated Series, DCU
17 Jan 2020
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An adventure involving two villains, three heroes, and at least one hungry pitcher plant. Some cute fluff with Harley and Ivy, Batman getting hugs, etc.. Inspired by Batman the Animated Series.
This is going to follow my own personal headcanon of Poison Ivy being asexual and just being brilliant at weaponizing the fact that people (often men) choose to sexualize her anyways. *shrugs shoulders* the plant jokes are just too good, sorry
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Aradia, a delinquent car thief, is up for her first real street race after her best friend's brother crashes and gets injured. There's only one hiccup; her opponent, one Roxy Lalonde, is too hot for her own good, and from the rich part of town to boot. Will they find love amidst these tough streets?
(The answer is yes, I'm not a monster, it just might get strung out a little. Name inspired by the Leslie Parrish song.)
Series
- Part 1 of The Outsiders
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When Alec wakes up, it's with a throbbing headache, a queasy stomach, a half-naked Jace sprawled out on top of him, and a ring on his finger that definitely wasn't there as far as he can remember - not that he can remember much at all.
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Она никогда не задумывается о своём будущем. Всё здесь и сейчас. Ей не знакома жалость, ей не знакома любовь. Она не знает о том, что такое страх. Лана не умеет чувствовать. И именно поэтому её ничего не останавливает на пути к своей одержимости — той самой, кто может её понять.
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Mission: Push Up Impossible by whimsicallydrifting (orphan_account) for indubitablyafaerietale
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
03 Sep 2019
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In which Marlene McKinnon and Sirius Black are gay as hell and attempt to solve crime.
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“Black, why are there bras on the track?”
“Uh. Drugs?”
“I think people were doing something a bit more intimate.”
“I’m betting on streakers. Wish I could’ve seen that…”
“But who the bloody hell has the money to just ditch a bra? Those things are expensive.”
“Our culprit is wealthy then.”
“Are we turning discarded bras into an investigation?”
“Why not? We have nothing better to do.”
“True. Let’s crack this bitch.” -
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[DISCONTINUED WILL BE REWRITTEN]
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In order to steal the Rothschild egg, El Topo and Le Chevre are paired up with two other VILE operatives.
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After spending some time with Remus, Patton decides that maybe Remus isn't as bad as he first believed.
Series
- Part 1 of Opposites Attract
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it’s cold at midnight (without you here) by Author_021
Fandoms: Asagao Academy: Normal Boots Club
03 Nov 2019
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Shane’ partner-in-(literal)-crime Austin has gone missing, and he’s really not sure what to do about it.
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you are my sunshine, my only sunshine by Milkyteaart
Fandoms: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
05 Feb 2020
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Luke is abandoned after years of being abused by his aunt and uncle when obi-wan finds him roaming the desert alone. After years of being missing obi-wan wants to reunite Luke with his sister and teach him about the ways of the force but needs help from a criminal lord to get them from the desert town of Tatooine to the large city of Alderaan. Han Solo is a mafia boss and A good one at that, with his trusty dog Chewbacca and best friend and coworker Lando they get Luke and obi wan to Alderaan. as time passes and the journey stretches on han finds himself caring for the farm boy and Luke develops a (not so) tiny crush on the mafia boss. Leia is a jedi and luke learns he's force sensitive, with the world against them luke, leia and han must find a way to keep ancient jedi secrets from falling into the wrong hands while dealing with rival gangs and mafia's. through thick and thin the trio learn how to navigate their new lives with one another.
Series
- Part 1 of the sun, the moon and stars
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I've got the story of us written (on my skin) by Thegoldenfnch (I_write_fanfiction_sometimes)
Fandoms: The Goldfinch - Donna Tartt, The Goldfinch (2019)
31 Aug 2020
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My mother didn’t like to talk about the marks. I still don’t know if it’s because hers had all failed her (her first love didn’t love her back, her life-friend died, and her Life Partner, well, Dad didn’t believe in soulmates) or if it was for some other unknown reason. Maybe she just couldn’t answer the questions I’d asked, like why mine were all the same. After I was around eight I stopped asking, and by the time I was ten I’d stopped telling people. They never seem to know what to say. It was only when I got older —after my mother died, but before my dad came back— that I realized why. People never know how to react to what they view as a tragedy.
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or: No one talks about soulmarks, Theo is in denial about many things (as he usually is), and Boris never says the things that actually matterA retelling. Now with soulmarks.
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Shenanigans through the Multiverse [DISCONTINUED] by AlmotherOrion
Fandoms: Ben 10 Series, Generator Rex, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia, Voltron: Legendary Defender, American Dragon: Jake Long, Danny Phantom, Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja, Sword Art Online (Anime & Manga), The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, The Secret Saturdays, Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist, Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Steven Universe (Cartoon), Gravity Falls
24 Dec 2022
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Randy decides to take it upon himself to do what no man has done before- introduce heroes from different universes to one another in a bid for them to make friends. Things don’t go quite as plan and chaos ensues.
Rewrite currently in progress!
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Taeyong wasn’t born yesterday. He is, as far as he can remember, a graduate student, and in bio engineering too. These diagrams and figures are a little more complex than he’s used to, but he can figure them out. He’s also already noticed the wires and cables coming out of various points in his arms and body, and how strange his touch receptors feel from the neck down. “You’ve turned me into a cyborg.”
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Taeyong has a second chance at life, and he's determined to do something good with it.
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His eye twitched, his antennae fell backwards. He stared at them in silence for a full 60 seconds before screaming, "ARE YOU FLIRKING KIDDING ME??"
(Or, Just another possible way things could proceed.)
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An art forger. An art thief. One last heist, then they never have to see each other again.
At least, that was the plan. -
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Vespa wants to trust Buddy, but they are different women from fifteen years ago, and she can't forget who still technically owns her contract.
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Therese sighs, resisting the urge to roll her eyes, this wasn’t the first time they’ve done this, “Ca–– ”
“Lilith,” Carol cuts her off pointedly, and Therese huffs in contempt.
She was still coming to terms with their new names. No matter how many times she repeats them to herself in her mind, they haven’t quite stuck yet. To everyone else, they were Lilith and Molly, but to her, they will always be Carol and Therese.
The Carol/Nightmare Alley AU no one really asked for.
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We don’t know much about what happened during those 75 years The Master spent on earth. How about we find out some more?
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Ever since her brush with death, Wednesday Friday Addams has had visions of a certain blonde. When they finally cross paths, she is smitten. Likewise, Enid knows this woman is her mate but can't help her hesitation given the wolf shaped baggage she's got.
OR, Runaway werewolf meets a caustic author recovering from grievous injuries and convinces her to set things on fire in the name of justice <3
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- 12/16
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Bookmarked by ClosetedButObvious
15 Dec 2023
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READ 7/?
Pretty cool. The first chapter, threw me in a loop and I won't lie I skipped a bit of the prologue because it seemed a bit OOC, especially because in this AU they are a bit different than canon. But chapter one and so forth was cool it wasn't anything wow amazing but I had fun reading it. I'm a bit excited for more .
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Jamil had always found Azul's attention annoying, but after the winter break overblot the merman became downright insufferable.
That's when Professor Crewel gives them a group assignment. How much can change in two weeks? A lot, apparently, and what was supposed to be a simple alchemy project turns into something more complicated, involving a heist, personal drama, good food and surprising revelations, not necessarily in that order.
One caring gesture at a time, feelings grow.
(Also featuring: the tweels meddling, Kalim discovering coping mechanisms, and Ruggie and Idia getting caught in the middle of it all)
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Crazy and in Love by octobot
Fandom: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia (Anime & Manga)
12 Dec 2022
Summary
Touya/Keigo spin offs from the Bucket List stories. These two are chaos so buckle up for the ride and mind the tags.
- Words:
- 30,284
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- 4
- Bookmarks:
- 61
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In a world without powers, Taylor lasts through another year of bullying before putting several of her bullies in the hospital. While in juvie, she meets Lisa Wilbourn, and they end up spending time together once they're both out.
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Family Reunion by orphan_account
Fandoms: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Batman - All Media Types
11 Jun 2023
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Leaving your family at the age of twelve was hard…
Leaving your family at the age of twelve to unknowingly go save the world was even harder.
Especially when they think you're dead.
Now, when you're seventeen and have to roam the city you once called home, it becomes so much worse.
Bookmarked by effbombs
03 May 2023
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batman pjo - percy adopted by waynes
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folie à deux by somanyspoons
Fandoms: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
16 Mar 2021
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Leo Valdez is tired of being a hero. It's hard to bring himself to believe he ever was one in the first place. Ever since the war, ever since he'd come back from the dead, things had been different. The happy sparkle in his eyes had dimmed, practically down to nothing.
Who would've thought a mix of criminal behavior and Nico di Angelo would help to bring it back?
Being a hero is overrated, anyway.
OR, Leo's fucked up from after the war and Nico catches him sneaking out of camp one night. He follows him and they begin their life of crime together. And then they kiss. And then they fuck. And then they both go off the deep end.
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This has been roughly formatted from RP format, so it's not written like a conventional fic. -
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Martin had always been angry. Always at something. Often himself. It was a part of him he kept carefully tucked away, smothered, buried. He'd learned, quickly, to keep that ugly part of him away from prying eyes. He kept the heat under his skin under control, and, unlike his father, never let it touch anyone else.
No one told him how hard that would be, once everything he cared to pretend for was gone.
Or, how Martin and his loving monster boyfriend embrace the joys of arson and avatarhood
Bookmarked by razzberry
24 Feb 2023
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avatar!boyfriends jmart & loving each other because and in spite of their monstrosities
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Sokka (a.k.a the Silent Knight, a.k.a. the sharpest detective in Caldera City) has three cases weighing on his mind.
1.) Zuko, son of the mob boss Ozai, has gone missing under sinister circumstances.
2.) Lee, a teahouse waiter with the face of an angel, wears a scar of mysterious origins.
3.) The Blue Spirit, a lithe and enigmatic cat burglar, keeps stealing into the Fire Nation’s storehouses (not to mention Sokka’s dreams).Sokka sighs and takes a swig from his special bottle. It’s hard solving three completely unrelated mysteries at the same time...
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How To Commit Identity Fraud: A Guide For Misplaced Time Travelers by itslilacmoon (watery_melon_baller)
Fandoms: Avatar: The Last Airbender, Avatar: Legend of Korra
24 Jan 2022
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The misadventures of six teenagers running loose in Republic City.
OR:
How the Gaang somehow manage to make everyone in Republic City’s lives both ten times better, and five times worse.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 63,099
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 10
- Comments:
- 296
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- 2,379
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- 560
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- 43,239
Bookmarked by Hexentia
16 Nov 2021
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Last chapter read: 9
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Be gay do crime. Oh my fucking god lmao, this has made me smile and laugh so many times since I started reading it. Will definitely read again when I need a good laugh!In this chapter, the Gaang helped rescue Lin and Tenzin while also revealing that they're Team Avatar from the Hundred Year War. Lin and Tenzin are having a midlife crisis over meeting their teenage parents, aunts, and uncles.
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Summary
A baron in Victorian London, Sirius Black is very near his breaking point of simply absconding into the obscurity of the forest. That is, until a rent boy going by the name of Remus arrives to turn his reality on its head in one fell swoop. ((a playlist for this series can be heard at https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0g32VvKGyv20qiNkJVueqB))
- Words:
- 25,326
- Works:
- 4
- Bookmarks:
- 208
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How To Commit Identity Fraud: A Guide For Misplaced Time Travelers by itslilacmoon (watery_melon_baller)
Fandoms: Avatar: The Last Airbender, Avatar: Legend of Korra
24 Jan 2022
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The misadventures of six teenagers running loose in Republic City.
OR:
How the Gaang somehow manage to make everyone in Republic City’s lives both ten times better, and five times worse. -
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Jeongguk taps the card and turns it so that it’s facing Namjoon. “And this last one,” Jeongguk continues, “should represent your future. Uh, Namjoon-ssi, would you like to reveal it yourself?”
“Sure,” Namjoon complies as he reaches out for the card. He grabs hold on one corner and flips it so that the image is uncovered, and there’s nothing on it but the fucking sun, so Jeongguk just looks up and stares at Namjoon before blurting, “Global warming.”
Namjoon furrows his eyebrows and tilts his (cute, heart-shaped) head. “I’m sorry?”
“Um,” Jeongguk says, smiling weakly. “You’re gonna save the environment?”
in which jeongguk is a tarot card reader and namjoon doesn't believe in this stuff.
Russian translation here
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Bookmarked by confetticanon
31 Jan 2021
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Jan 31
THIS WAS SO FUCKING CUTE N DELIGHTFUL IM SCREAMINGGGGGGGGGG
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What I Did On My Summer Vacation, by Kim Namjoon, Age 18 1/2 by Runchrandom (infraredphaeton)
Fandoms: 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
10 Sep 2018
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On his gap year, Kim Namjoon accidentally joins a gang, takes over that gang, becomes the leader of the South Korean Underworld, publishes his first mix tape and gets six criminal boyfriends. It's a busy twelve months.
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"Hey, you're Rap Monster, right?"
"...Yeah."
"You're really cool, man! I've been listening to you for ages!" the guy practically bounces over the body, slinging an arm around Namjoon's shoulders. "You got a crew?"
Namjoon shakes his head slowly.
"Well, we can fix that."Series
- Part 1 of Be Gay, Do Crime
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i blow up buildings (but i'd blow you) by sugaretreat
Fandoms: 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
23 Feb 2018
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“Yoongi,” says Namjoon, his tone allowing no argument. He holds the boy an arms length in front of him and smiles painfully. “Meet Jeongguk. He’s your new bodyguard.”
Yoongi sputters and decides to argue anyway, because fuck no. “I said I don’t need a bodyguard, Namjoon.”
(Or, the AU where Yoongi has been receiving death threats from an enemy organisation known as Skeletal, and Jeon Jeongguk is the lucky bastard brought in to be his bodyguard. Yoongi tries to hate him. He really does.)
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Summary
[per request]
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- 106,675
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- 9
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- 406
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he's bad news but i'm no better by simkjrs
Fandoms: ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
24 Feb 2020
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It’s almost worse, Jotaro thinks, that Kakyoin actually means it. Kakyoin really literally actually wants to go on a roadtrip vacation to tour and sightsee with the guy he tried to assassinate and who then proceeded to beat him unconscious.
What the fuck is wrong with this guy.
Jotaro Kujo’s no good, very bad road trip tohellDio’s mansion with Evil Kakyoin.Or, the one where Kakyoin arrives to kill Jotaro before Joseph and Avdol can arrive to explain things, confusion ensues, and Kakyoin and Jotaro make their merry way to Egypt before anyone can figure out what’s happening at all.
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Now with a Chinese translation. Thank you sennhang!
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“I sometimes beat the shit out of guys who come on to you.” He said it slowly so he would never have to say it again.
Jungkook’s jaw slackened.
“You—what?“ he breathed out. “You—how long have you been doing th—that?”
“Since we started dating,” Namjoon admitted. “August.”
“Ah,” Jungkook said, “And how many guys have you beaten the shit out of?”
“Like five,” Namjoon sighed.
“Five! Five?! That’s like almost once a month!”
“Yeah…that’s about right.”
--or--
5 times Kim Namjoon (against all his non-violent instincts) beats the shit out of somebody for his boyfriend's honor.
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Bookmarked by confetticanon
07 Oct 2020
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Oct 24 2020
God this is so fucking FUNNY, one of the best things I’ve ever read TBH. if ur thinking abt reading this u NEED TO.
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“That guy from the coffee shop yesterday—the one who made me that really good latte—he sent me five pictures of his dick on instagram overnight,” Jungkook whispered, miserable, looking around. The spot was popular with faculty. People over the age of forty were everywhere. “I had to wake up to them. I wanted to text you but I didn’t know how to say it… what words to use… it was so gross. Why would he do something like that?”
“He didn’t say?” Namjoon asked, eyebrows arched, sardonic. “But actually, I already knew. He messaged me first. He thought I was you.”
“What?”
“You used my card and that’s how he got the name. He tracked me down, I told him to fuck off, and then he found you from my account.”
“Well, that sounds illegal. But—oh my god,” Jungkook said, burying his face in his hands. “I want to not see that guy again, but that’s torture! I love that coffee shop! No offense,” he said, dropping his voice, “But everybody here is like fifty.”
“So what should we do?”
“Nothing,” Jungkook moped. “We could always go to Starbucks.”
“Wouldn’t I rather die,” Namjoon said, narrowing his eyes. “Than give into the mass commercialization of coffee. The beans they use at our café are grown and sold by indigenous communities in Chile without an exploitative middle-man!”
“Okay, but they’re ground up and steamed with milk by a pervert!”
“I know, I know…. Maybe he just works Wednesdays?”
“Let’s hope.”
Namjoon took a sip. “What did the dick look like?”
“Oh my god, Joon,” Jungkook said in a low voice, serious, “It looks like somebody rolled an expired Italian sausage through a rat’s nest.”
//
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Park Seonghwa is an assassin hired by pirates to take out the Captain of their rivaling crew. Unfortunately, Kim Hongjoong isn't that easy to kill.
Now Seonghwa is stuck with a crew of quirky pirates and a Captain who irritates the hell out of him.
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Kim Seokjin is the Best Wedding Caterer in the country and no one was going to take that away from him.
Not even the irritatingly handsome chef who shat on his Peaches & Creampuffs for the whole world to see.
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(Kim Seokjin declared Min Yoongi as his sworn rival, so he doesn't understand how he ends up kissing him at his doorstep.)
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Bookmarked by confetticanon
11 Sep 2020
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Sept 16 2020
One sided beef, Dramatic angry jin and yoongi who became a chef bc of jin ft. that tropey scene where they’re passionately fighting and then they kiss WHEWWWWW a la princess diaries 2 fountain scene lolol
Also other trope I love is how everyone gets sick and someone finds out who’s sleeping w who
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