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  1. Tags
    Summary

    “Put. It. Down.” Soft, deadly, Edward gave a final warning, watching Izzy’s face. “I won't shoot you unless you make me.”

     

    Izzy laughed, hollow and humorless. “Right, because you caaaaaare about me, do you,” he half-sang, sneering. “Because I’m your friend,” his mouth twisted on the word, “is that it, Edward?” He inhaled, and let it out in a shaky sigh, the frantic energy dissipated. “No, Ed. We’re not friends. We never were.” He looked sad, Edward thought, and his gut twinged and his eyes widened as Izzy wrapped his free arm around Stede again and brought the blade away from his throat, holding it high.

     

    Izzy's hand began a slow, deliberate arch, and he stared into Edward’s eyes as he brought the knife down toward Stede’s heart.

     

    “Don’t-“ Stede cried.

     

    Edward fired.

     

     

    When Edward shoots Izzy to protect Stede, the entire reunited crew must figure out how to move forward. (**COMPLETE** releasing a new chapter every day; opt-in explicit scenes included in TFMD: The Expansion)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    48,340
    Chapters:
    12/19
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    50
    Kudos:
    92
    Bookmarks:
    28
    Hits:
    1625
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Stede decides he’s going to put a team together because his midlife crisis got a second wind queer community and LGBTQ+ visibility are important.

    Ed supports him with t-shirts and a pair of tight red shorts because they’re stupidly horny for each other boyfriends, and actually making this relationship work.

    Sequel to Leggy Blonde, you got it goin’ on.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,743
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Hits:
    0
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Notorious pirates Anne Bonny and Mary Read have shown up for a late night visit on Victory. They ask to stay. Not everyone believes they are there just to hitch a ride. The crew works together to try to figure out what their real reason is for wanting to be on a ship with the co-captains.

    If that wasn't enough, Izzy and Lucius are learning to navigate their new relationship while Stede and Edward are eager to plan their wedding and don't want their guests to interfere with their future.

    Just another week in the life of our (mostly) friendly gay pirates! Specific content warnings will come before chapters where needed. *

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,496
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    177
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Stede is a divorced, gay, divorce lawyer. He is dreading his upcoming class reunion since the Badmintons (because of fucking course) are running bets on him arriving alone and pathetic to the celebration dinner.
    Enter Ed Teach, long-time columnist for Hornygold, a gay lifestyle and entertainment magazine with some very interesting centerfold pictures. Ed is tasked to woo new sponsors for the magazine with an article about relationships.

    Ed runs into Stede and hijinks ensue. There will be a happy ending, of course ;)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,195
    Chapters:
    39/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    80
    Kudos:
    113
    Bookmarks:
    25
    Hits:
    2160
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Aziraphale "Ezra" Fell, reads excerpts from his newest book, which follows aspiring writer Stede Bonnet, trying to break into the world of published writers in Bristol, with the support of his loving boyfriend, Edward Teach.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,494
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    132
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Edward Teach has never been good with storms, he always needs something to take his mind off the crashing of the waves, crackle of lightning, and boom of thunder. When he can't be on deck giving orders, he's in the captain's quarters taking them.

    Or, Stede and Ed fuck during a storm.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,854
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    102
  7. Tags
    Summary

    We’re getting our co-captains back together with a lot of fluff, a few angsty callbacks, some realizations about ageing and trusting, a fuckery™ and a crew probably more helpful than these two lovesick idiots have any reason to expect. There’ll also be bathtime, storytime and sexy time.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,658
    Chapters:
    2/13
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    4
  8. Tags
    Summary

    “I want a divorce.”

    Izzy’s said the words more times than once in the past eighteen years of marriage, but he means them this time. More than he ever has before, anyway.

    At the prow of the very expensive and very unnecessary boat parked in the driveway, Edward - Izzy’s idiot (soon-to-be-ex) husband - sighs and rolls his eyes.

    “Come on, Iz!” Ed shouts. He’s wearing a stupid fucking captain’s hat and has one foot propped against the rail. “The boat is an investment! And it’ll be fun.”

    Or, how Izzy Hands saves his marriage (and gains a boyfriend) by getting a divorce.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,530
    Chapters:
    2/10
    Comments:
    27
    Kudos:
    104
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    476
  9. Tags
    Summary

    After their last expedition went awry, Stede discovers a new treasure hunting opportunity when he overhears that Black Pete's former captain had a hidden secret at Black Baron Falls. Now, he must once again rally his crew—and his new sofa guest—for one more hopeful adventure.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,048
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    17
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Edward Teach owns a small café. He's just trying to live a quiet life and put his past behind him. Stede Bonnet is an accountant with a divorce and a failed relationship under his belt. When their worlds collide chaos ensues, but perhaps that's just what they both need.
    Featuring a fake relationship, a dark past, copious misunderstandings and a little black cat named Ollie.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,546
    Chapters:
    9/13
    Comments:
    40
    Kudos:
    95
    Bookmarks:
    24
    Hits:
    939
  11. Tags
    Summary

    “Our relationship with Stede's kids is… Well it exists! Isn't that something?”

    Maybe once when he was a kid himself, Izzy had idly wondered what it would be like to have children, to be a dad. But then he'd seen Ed and his world had spun and he had rarely if ever thought about it again. When the world became just the tiniest bit gentler he thought maybe he'd bring it up to Ed, but then they were two middle-aged guys set in their ways in a tiny apartment with no room and little patience. What could they have done for a kid? So Izzy tucked it away, because he loved Ed and he liked his life and that was it. But then there was Stede and the world opened wide for him again.

    So now he's something to his partner's kids. He's not quite sure what that something is. Sometimes they come to him for advice. Sometimes they even listen.

    -0-

    Domestic fluff in the winery-verse. Alma and Louis benefit from Izzy's wisdom, we learn how Ed and Izzy got together, and they all celebrate Fathers' Day (without really knowing where to put the apostrophe).

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,265
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    27
    Kudos:
    219
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    982
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Stede Bonnet knows the boat has been overrun by pirates, he's not an idiot, and yet, he can't bring himself to tell anyone and potentially ruin this new friendship.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,804
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    14
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    97
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Three bodies entwined, no longer yearning.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    108
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    16
  14. Tags
    Summary

    When a cold passes through the crew of the Revenge, Izzy feels it's his job to make up for the lost man power. After all, who else would keep the ship running if not him? Things are getting back to normal though, the crew mostly recovered, and Izzy struggles to accept it's his turn to spend a day or two in bed trying to sleep off a fever.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,497
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    23
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    148
  15. Tags
    Summary

    If he moves, he’ll break down. He’ll crumble to the ground and not want to get up ever again. He shuts his eyes and tries to focus on keeping still. 

    Maybe if he stays still, it won’t be real. Maybe he’s having a nightmare. Yes, it has to be a nightmare. This is all a nightmare and he wants to wake up now. 

    ‘Please wake up.’

    ‘Please wake up.’


    ed hears the worst news of his life.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,390
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    40
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Stede Bonnet is a popular and successful wedding planner whose wife kicked him out and is currently going through a divorce. Ed Teach owns a catering company (and a bar & grill) - and has been madly in love with Stede since he laid eyes on him almost seven years ago. With Stede going through his divorce, will he finally have his chance at last? Or will other people and forces stand in their way?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    47,918
    Chapters:
    14/20
    Comments:
    687
    Kudos:
    433
    Bookmarks:
    94
    Hits:
    8383
  17. Tags
    Summary

    It's been several weeks now on board of the Revenge. Stede grew to be a competent co-captain alongside his love, Ed. Everything is perfect.
    If only Izzy could finally accept him as his captain, too. Stede seems to have tried all possible ways to get to him. But one.

    It's been several dreaded weeks on board of the fucking Revenge and Izzy hated every second of it. If only Ed would give him just a fraction of the attention he showers Stede with. He has tried all possible ways to humiliate Stede in front of Blackbeard and make his boss hate the guy as much as he did. All ways but one.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,387
    Chapters:
    2/3
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    55
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    442
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Ed gives Stede the gift he's acquired from Buttons. It isn't the surprise Stede was expecting which leads to some hurt feelings. To make it worse, the gift sends them to a new world, with violent enemies, and revelations that terrify them both. Together they have to find a way to get back home and escape the clutches of some men in suits who wish them nothing but ill will. Hopefully, they can find an ally that knows how to help them.

    Welcome to the modern AU that's not a modern AU at all.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    41,956
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Comments:
    50
    Kudos:
    70
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    1686
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Stede watches Ed, sees him turn towards this new danger, and feels his heart drop like a stone. Uniformed sailors are streaming out onto the deck from wherever they’ve been hiding, war cries and pistols at the ready. It’s a trap and Ed is right there at the very heart of it.

    Having returned to the Revenge, Stede finds himself isolated and ignored until, after attempting to save Ed's life, he inadvertently gets them both captured.

    In a whole lot of danger and with nothing else to do, maybe they can finally talk things through.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,017
    Chapters:
    2/4
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    52
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    310
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Edward Teach is the increasingly dissatisfied co-owner of Blackbeard Antiques with his best friend Izzy. He loves the fine things they sell, but is sick of a life surrounded by obnoxious rich people. Then one day he encounters a pretty posh boy (well middle aged man) he can actually stomach and who might just change everything…

    Stede Bonnet has channelled his mid-life crisis into becoming an unconventional Saville Row tailor, making beautiful bespoke suits at Bonnet & Friends with a merry crew of misfits. The trouble is they don't have any paying clients and the business is on the brink of failure before it's even really begun. Then one day a gravelly voice calls out of the blue with a business opportunity that might help the struggling tailor find his feet personally and professionally…

    A modern AU set in England that no one asked for, but popped unbidden into my head out of nowhere anyway! Relatively long form, mostly fluff with some angst and a bit of smut down the line.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,359
    Chapters:
    10/28
    Comments:
    46
    Kudos:
    56
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    680

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