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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Izzy Hands takes a wrong turn in Tortuga and encounters a mysterious figure who asks him his greatest desires and claims they can be granted.

    It turns out to be true, but not in the way Izzy expected. He finds himself in the body of Stede Bonnet, aboard the Revenge, with all of Edward's affection and devotion.

    But is the whole thing reality, or simply an illusion? And how does he return to himself? Or does he even want to?

    Stede Bonnet may be a ponce, but there are benefits to being the Gentleman Pirate.

    ---

    If this fic gets a good response, it will update regularly.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,547
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    53
    Kudos:
    92
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    961
  2. Tags
    Summary

    It’s been two long, long weeks. Two weeks of sitting in a huge bare room, nothing left but a bed and a previously smooth, beautiful table, now pockmarked with knife gouges. Two weeks of throwing the crew at any ship they come across, fighting with vicious, brutal efficiency. Two weeks of drowning in rum and gin and anything he can get his hands on. Two weeks of wondering how long he has to keep doing this before it all just ends.

    -

    After a whirlwind few months together, Ed believes that his wordkeeper has chosen his wife and family over being with him. As he tries to cope with the rejection, he gets more bad news: Stede has died. With that news, he loses all pretense of being able to keep it together.

    Stede has made the decision to give up everything in his old life to go home to Ed, the love of his life. Despite his initial concerns about Ed not being his wordkeeper, he's all in. First, he just has to find his way back.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    55,438
    Chapters:
    9/12
    Comments:
    166
    Kudos:
    128
    Bookmarks:
    20
    Hits:
    2277
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Stede Bonnet, Oluwande Boodhari and Edward Teach work at Columbia University. Where they delve into the paranormal and fiddle with many nearly unethical experiments on their students. After a ghost sighting in the New York library solidified the group’s belief in the paranormal they are kicked out of the University. Following Ed’s and Oluwande’s plan they go into business for themselves. Under the new snazzy business name of ‘Ghostbusters’, and living in the old firehouse building they work out of, they are called to rid New York City of paranormal phenomena. They make national press as the media reports the Ghostbusters are the cause of it all. After being thrown in jail by the EPA, the mayor, left with no other options, had to take a chance and called on them to help save the city. Unbeknownst to all, a long dead Gozer worshiper (Evo Shandor) erected a downtown apartment building which is the cause of all the paranormal activity. They find out the building could resurrect the ancient god, Gozer, and bring an end to all of humanity. Who are you gonna call to stop this terrible world-ending menace?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    Chapters:
    0/16
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    21
  4. Tags
    Summary

    In a last ditch effort to save his crumbling marriage, Stede Bonnet decides to take an early retirement to focus on his family. His plan: to have a beautiful, custom tiny home built in secret to travel the country with his wife and children.

    Edward Teach has been building tiny homes for nearly a decade, and after so many builds under his belt they tend to become standard and repetitive - until an inquiry comes in asking for the most ridiculous, expensive, and quite possibly impossible request he's ever received.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,545
    Chapters:
    14/?
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    37
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    566
  5. Tags
    Summary

    This fic is the slowest of slow burns. It was intentionally written to build gradually as a cohesive narrative that expands over time because you can't get a good emotional release without FOREPLAY.

    What if Ed didn't go full 'Evil-Ed' post Stede? How would Izzy react to an Ed that still wasn't quite right even though Bonnet was gone?

    What would it be like if they thought Stede Bonnet was fucking dead, but then he wasn't?

    Themes include: grief, loss, guilt, forgiveness, hurting people you love, healing, backsliding, the effects of childhood trauma, consent, power dynamics.

    There will be no themes of sexual assault/violence in excess of the show.

    I'm not over tagging this jawn because I don't want to spoil the whole story ahead of time. Where's the fun if you know half of what you can expect from the tags alone. Don't you just want to let a story unfold, friend?

    Fuck counter: 460 fucks (I mean the word. They haven't fucked 460 times. That would be ludicrous)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    100,748
    Chapters:
    59/?
    Comments:
    500
    Kudos:
    401
    Bookmarks:
    66
    Hits:
    12028
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Mystery. Infidelity. Crime. Skeletons in the closet. And two men who find a connection that threatens to burn them all down.

    Edward Teach's mother Annie used to rule the seaside town of Dos Corazones. That is, until the elite of the town decided she had too much power and started tearing her down piece by piece.

    Some years later, Stede Bonnet arrives in town, at the start of a mid-life crisis. He purchases the Revenge, intending on turning into a tour boat. He's unaware of the ship's history, or its connection to Annie Teach.

    And he never thought he'd fall head over heels for a bar owner with a deep connection to the town - while both of them are married.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    35,247
    Chapters:
    18/?
    Comments:
    148
    Kudos:
    92
    Bookmarks:
    26
    Hits:
    1668
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Izzy could easily pull himself back onto the boat, but he doesn’t. He treads water and he waits for Frenchie to come back for him and thinks about what a strange feeling it is. Knowing someone is coming back for him.

    Or the one where Izzy’s first and only attempt to practice restraint backfires so severely that he gets himself kidnapped

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    68,197
    Chapters:
    12/29
    Comments:
    89
    Kudos:
    152
    Bookmarks:
    25
    Hits:
    2380
  8. Tags
    Summary

    NEWSFLASH! @newsflash24
    Trouble in paradise? Multi-Millionaire Stede Bonnet, heir to Bonnet Inc., allegedly leaves wife and kids. Find out more at www.newsflash24.com

    Musicnews @musicnewz
    From trust funds to the studio: Read our interview with REVENGE frontman and singer Stede Bonnet.

    Or: the fic where everything is the same, except that everyone is in a rock band and twitter is going absolutely insane about it

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,352
    Chapters:
    6/10
    Comments:
    41
    Kudos:
    100
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    837
  9. Tags
    Summary

    “How would you feel… about owning a Ren Faire?”

    “You know I hate the Ren Faire, Stede? I said so the other day.”

    “Really? When?”

    “WHEN WE WERE AT THE FUCKING RENAISSANCE FAIRE.”

    ---

    Here it goes! My first fanfic - A very ridiculous modern au in which Stede Bonnet gets a divorce, builds a Renaissance Faire (Revenge-ssance Faire?) in 3 months, and catches the attention of the only man who’s bored at Blackbeard’s Ren Faire.

    Updates will be posted Thursdays. Huzzah!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,024
    Chapters:
    5/9
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    25
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    207
  10. Tags
    Summary

    “That’s what I’m trying to say, you absolutely repugnant little man,” he snaps. “No one wants to see you leave!”

    Izzy raises his eyebrows and scoffs. Pull the other one, you twat.

    -

    In which Ed and Stede figure out how to be happy, and that means sorting shit out with Izzy. Through the power of kinky sex as therapy, obviously.

    This is heading for a steddyhands happily ever after, but it's gonna be a bumpy ride.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,656
    Chapters:
    5/8
    Comments:
    132
    Kudos:
    368
    Bookmarks:
    66
    Hits:
    5670
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Stede is at Camp Revenge for the last time before college. He is trying desperately to keep away from Nigel when he literally stumbles into a mysterious stranger he doesn't know form camp..

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,512
    Chapters:
    16/?
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    43
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    728
  12. Tags
    Summary

    "You can't just leave every time there's a problem."
    "And you can't hurt people every time you feel hurt. "
    Both regretted the words as soon as they'd said them. The words stung, but the most hurtful thing about them was that they were unequivocally true, and neither one could refute that.
    or: Picking up from the end of season 1, Ed and Stede reunite. Both need to make amends- and learn how to love each other again.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,064
    Chapters:
    9/12
    Comments:
    34
    Kudos:
    115
    Bookmarks:
    37
    Hits:
    2941
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Eternal Return: The theory that the universe has been recurring and will continue to recur for all eternity

    The screaming was always so unnecessary. If more people just shut up and calmly put their shit into the fucking bag, nobody would have to scream. Ed heard once that the same life keeps on happening forever and ever. Same shit, different day for all eternity. He believes it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,099
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    17
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    158
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Stede Bonnet, modern day wealthy vice president of his father’s company, tires of his monotonous life of commuting from the hustle of the city to the cookie cutter suburbs and dreams of a peaceful life on a New Zealand sheep farm. However, because he has absolutely no idea what he is doing, he must hire a crew of unique and lovable farm hands.
    Things did not go as planned…

    Come yell at us on Twitter @weejanefeeney (individual posts on this account) and @bigjanefeeney the sister account

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    49,071
    Chapters:
    23/?
    Comments:
    25
    Kudos:
    49
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    1043
  15. Tags
    Summary

    There are some days, when he will simply open his eyes, feel sleep bleed out and the world bleed in, and know, without a shred of a doubt, that it’s going to be a shit one.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    51,161
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    240
    Kudos:
    357
    Bookmarks:
    85
    Hits:
    5118
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Instead of running away to become a pirate, Stede stays with Mary. He opens a café and hires a ragtag staff.

    Blackbeard thinks this fancy little café is fascinating and doesn't know how to make friends. He only knows how to take.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,217
    Chapters:
    2/5
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    198
  17. Tags
    Summary

    When the Revenge and another pirate ship both set their sights on the same merchant vessel, the Captains decide to have their first mates duel for the right to raid it.

    Gratuitous excuse for me to write Izzy Hands swordfighting content, with a side of Roach Backstory because I can't help myself.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,069
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    69
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    244
  18. Tags
    Summary

    “You could talk about it,” suggested Roach. “What’s said in the galley, stays in the galley.”

    “I don’t wanna fucking know. So I’ll forget as soon as you’re done saying it,” said Jim. They paused. “Just in case, uh, it maybe did help. To talk about it.”

    “Used my fucking safe word with the captains last night, now they think I’m mad at them, except I’m not, except I just want things to fucking go back to normal now and no one’s acting normal,” said Izzy, and then took a sip of tea. Jim froze. “There, I fucking said it. Are you happy? I’m going to throw up now, I can’t fucking believe I said that. To you.”

    Izzy Hands has never known where he fits in. He's willing to put up with the rough treatment, because it's what Edward and Stede want and expect from him, but when he finally can't stand it any more, how will the three of them come to an agreement?

    Established SteddyHands.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,325
    Chapters:
    5/6
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    114
    Kudos:
    467
    Bookmarks:
    91
    Hits:
    4975
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Professional thief Edward Teach is tired of hole in the wall apartments, shitty pub food, and skipping town every few months to keep the cops off their tail. He’s well past the age he meant to flee the country and retire, and all he needs is One Last Job to set him up for life. When he hears that some rich bastard outside of town has just the sort of treasure he’d trade his good knee for, Ed sets out in disguise to get the lay of the land.

    What he gets instead is a case of mistaken identity. Yanked into Stede Bonnet’s multimillion dollar home and greeted with relief instead of fear, Ed suddenly finds himself entrusted with the care of the recently-separated Bonnet’s two children. And he’s not hating it. Not at all.

    But there’s still a mysterious treasure to find. There’s still Izzy Hands, breathing down Edward’s neck about finding the money and moving on. And there’s still Stede Bonnet, with his easy smiles and soft, kind voice, and his silly talk of second chances.

    The Bonnet house is enormous. It’s no wonder a kid who grew up in dingy squats and group homes would get little lost in it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    79,626
    Chapters:
    7/8
    Comments:
    425
    Kudos:
    425
    Bookmarks:
    133
    Hits:
    7765
  20. Tags
    Summary

    From ourflagmeanskink:

    "While wallowing in misery after the breakup, Ed gets drunk and has a one night stand with a woman in port who happens to be a mermaid.
    Go nuts with the specifics of the lore on this one, but human male + mermaid relations = pregnancy for the human dude. Whoops. Just what he needs!"

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    36,774
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    122
    Kudos:
    211
    Bookmarks:
    28
    Hits:
    3764

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