1 - 20 of 33 Works in Jemaine Clement/Bret McKenzie

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    One of those nights, then.

    Thank you to @alwaysaldrig and @FAE_M00NY on twitter for betaing!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,630
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    8
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    31
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Jemaine’s moan was almost as loud as Bret’s, and Bret’s mouth wasn’t full of cock.

    Dunno guys I have no excuse for this it’s just porn. Anyway enjoy sub Jemaine he’s the love of my life.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,017
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    12
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    115
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Bret was almost positive at this point that Jemaine was having sex dreams about him. Really, there’s only so many times that you can hear your roommate moan your name in his sleep before you begin to wonder. It used to be a rare occurrence, maybe once in a few months, but lately it has become much more common. Once a week, probably. And God, this morning… Jemaine had been straight up writhing on the bed. It was enough to make anyone feel– well. Bret wasn’t exactly sure how he felt, but he definitely felt something, and he felt it a lot.

    Thank you to @FAE_M00NY and @alwaysaldrig on Twitter for the beta!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,733
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    66
  4. Tags
    Summary

    No man, it isn't gay to hold hands. Or to cuddle while watching TV. Or to fall asleep in each other's arms. Or to kiss each other goodnight.... unless?

    Bret and Jemaine are already roommates, bandmates, and just regular mates. How long until their close friendship evolves into something more romantic? And then how long after that will it take for them to realize?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,720
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    35
    Hits:
    198
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Jemaine starts to think about something that happened when him and Bret were fighting over Barbra

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    675
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Hits:
    252
  6. Tags
    Summary

    My attempt to write an episode of Flight of the Conchords.

    When Jemaine finds a cool new friend from New Zealand, Bret is jealous. But are Taika's intentions entirely honourable?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,942
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    35
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    326
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Murray's assigned the boys separate hotel rooms to stop them chatting into the night and nodding off on stage. Boredom and horniness leads to an interesting phone conversation.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,011
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    63
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    526
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Valentine cards from the boys that barely break canon.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    741
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    27
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    145
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Jemaine's favourite game threatens to make a band meeting very uncomfortable.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,998
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    42
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    404
  10. Tags
    Summary

    On tour, the boys feel frustrated. Murray knows what will perk them up.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,773
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    49
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    627
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Bret and Jemaine have very different perceptions of who's in control.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,624
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    36
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    419
  12. Tags
    Summary

    When Mel wins an ill-conceived competition to choose the theme for the Conchords' next music video, Murray pushes the boat out and flies them to Hawaii for a 'South Pacific' themed shoot.

    Thrust from Chinatown to Paradise, Bret and Jemaine get closer, Mel and Doug reconnect, and Murray practices his French.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,288
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    16
    Hits:
    176
  13. Tags
    Summary

    It's not gay if you're practicing for kissing girls.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,723
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    46
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    354
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Offered more money than he's ever seen before to pose for an eccentric artist who looks uncannily like Jemaine, Bret is drawn into a world of manipulation and perverse pleasure. But is it what he really wants?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,584
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    25
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    256
  15. Tags
    Summary

    The four stages of acceptance: Bed, Couch, Rambo, and Office. This fic was based loosely on the boys' idiosyncratic acceptance speeches for the Vodaphone New Zealand Music Awards (check them out here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7zXwRWcn0M).

    Reposted from Conchords Slash many moons ago when the world was young. Kids, don't molest people in their sleep. It's fun in completely made-up fanfic but it's assault in real life, m'kay?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,714
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    40
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    402
  16. Tags
    Summary

    They’ve done it once. Sort of. Almost. They will not do it again.

    Reposted from Conchords Slash many moons ago when the world was young. Includes very dated internet references and an accidental Rickroll.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,455
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    35
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    366
  17. Tags
    Summary

    It isn’t gay if your friend is wet, cold and just needs somewhere to sleep, right?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    537
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    33
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    444
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Jemaine woke up to see Bret's face just a little too close to his own.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,220
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    35
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    853
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Bret gets a horrible sunburn and Jemaine takes care of him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,238
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    61
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    1249
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Bret is upset and Jemaine tries to figure out the best way to help him, which leads to some unexpected feelings...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,980
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    83
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    1576

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