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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Ed Teach aka Blackbeard is a NYC nightlife legend, opening his first club in his early 20s and turning it into the place to see and be seen in the 90s and beyond. He’s also the mastermind behind three other iconic nightclubs across Manhattan.

    He is so fucking bored.

    Enter Stede Bonnet—recently divorced & out of the closet—who is following his dream of opening a nightclub. Along with his motley crew, his small but mighty queer venue has garnered a fast reputation for its creative theme nights.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,717
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    33
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    406
  2. Tags
    Summary

    The story of how Spanish Jackie got a new spouse or three.

    Updates weekly.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,483
    Chapters:
    3/4
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    36
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Feeling he is on the cusp of a midlife crisis, Stede tries to salvage his marriage, love his kids and forget that undying urge beneath the skin that he might just realise all along, he wasn’t meant for married life. Slowly but surely he begins anew.

    Edward Teach is the owner and head barber of Blackbeard’s Cut Throat Barbers where Izzy, Fang and Ivan assist in his work as stylists. He had once been in a band with Jim and Wee John, now disbanded and feeling the old call back into the scene while they have garage jams.

    Stede is on the edge of dropping everything to move out of state, his marriage is in shambles and his kids are nearing their difficult teenage years. He works as manager of IT in Bonnet corporate. His long time bully is the head of the department and his team sort of despise him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,522
    Chapters:
    13/?
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    18
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    307
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Retired from his old life as famed musician Blackbeard, Edward Teach finds love in the most unlikely place: recently divorced and recently out of the closet cafe owner Stede Bonnet.

    Plagued by struggles with gender expression and sexuality, Stede finds comfort in Edward Teach and Edward's new band The Kraken. Through music and mutual understanding, Stede and Ed guide each other through the difficult path of finding themselves as two middle-aged queer people.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,969
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    9
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    128
  5. Tags
    Summary

    “Hey, so, those two, right, they get together in the end?” Ed asks.

    “I would protest spoiling it, but I think it's rather obvious, isn't it?” Stede says. His nose wrinkles as he smiles. “The tension is certainly there from the beginning. It just takes them a while to get there.”

    “Good. Would have been a shit story otherwise."

     

    Former local grunge legend Edward Teach, better known as Blackbeard of Blackbeard & the Krakens, has fallen on hard times. Following slanderous accusations from ex-bandmate (and ex-lover) Calico Jack, Ed is blacklisted from all his usual venues. His career is over, and, so far as he’s concerned, so is his life. He spends his days wallowing in a dingy Seattle apartment, fighting with his manager and bemoaning his loss of purpose.

    Enter one Stede Bonnet, Ed’s obnoxiously loud next-door-neighbor. Stede Bonnet is an overly enthusiastic playwright who cares way too much about Shakespeare and writes like a dandy from the 18th century.

    He’s the most interesting thing to happen to Ed in years.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    54,844
    Chapters:
    15/22
    Comments:
    183
    Kudos:
    193
    Bookmarks:
    53
    Hits:
    3181
  6. Tags
    Summary

    An OFMD SMAU loosely based on the plot of Pretty Woman.

    Stede Bonnet has just inherited his father's wealth and business - corporate raider in New York, buying and dismantling struggling companies, selling off the assets for profit. Recently divorced, baby gay.

    Edward Teach, alias 'Blackbeard', is a high-end male escort and lingerie model. He's successful and comfortably rich.

    He's losing interest in his profession and starting to think about packing it all in.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,720
    Chapters:
    16/?
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    510
  7. Tags
    Summary

    “Nervous?” This particular habit had been quick to form – meeting out behind the hotel, looking out upon the beautifully-manicured grass and the tent poles which look strange and lonely without the canvas stretched over their tops.

    “Me? Nervous?” The first night in the hotel, Edward’s voice had startled Stede, but this time it appears he’d been expecting him. This makes him smile, for some reason, as he gingerly lowers himself to the concrete beside Stede. “What gives you that idea?”

    “Oh, you know,” Ed waves his hand vaguely toward the naked tent. “Tomorrow’s the first day of practice, everyone’s gonna be judging us, they’ll be testing our on-screen chemistry with the contestants and the hosts, and we’re about to be here for potentially over two months having our baking criticized by some of the biggest fucking names in the baking world?”

    *****

    Edward Teach and Stede Bonnet are both contestants on The Great British Bake Off. Maybe they'll fall in love with each others' soggy bottoms.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,099
    Chapters:
    5/11
    Comments:
    201
    Kudos:
    190
    Bookmarks:
    46
    Hits:
    2301
  8. Tags
    Summary

    After a failed marriage proposal Stede Bonnet, soon to be thirty, realizes that he needs to start living his own life, leaving the restricted life his father has planned for him behind.

    With help from his friends Lucius (and his various boyfriends), his not quite ex-fiancé and her boyfriend Doug Stede can begin to create his own life and maybe find love along the way.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,630
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    87
    Kudos:
    85
    Bookmarks:
    22
    Hits:
    1360
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Stede Bonnet tires of his life and, inspired by his favourite pulp novels, sets up as a Private Investigator.

    When a case goes wrong, he runs into Blackbeard, another PI on the island who happens to be following his own leads. There's corruption at the heart of the island - can they root it out together?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,355
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    53
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    327
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Survivor is the ultimate social experiment: stranded on a deserted island, a group of strangers must tackle mental and physical challenges while navigating complex interpersonal dynamics. Each episode, one castaway is voted out until one Sole Survivor remains.

    Stede Bonnet has been a Survivor superfan since day one. He's watched every episode he can get his hands on and even owns some memorabilia from the show. He'd love a chance to actually play, although his wife and kids tease that he'd be useless on the island & get voted out first.

    Edward Teach, known to Survivor fans as Blackbeard, has played three times and on his second try, he won. He's a beloved fan favorite, although it's been years since his last season. What new experience could he possibly get out of Survivor? What's the point?

    You don't need to watch Survivor to read this! Every season of Survivor is designed to be accessible to first-time viewers and the fictional seasons of Survivor depicted here will be no different.

    Note: Survivor contestants get very little food, and can experience various physical effects of that. Eating and body image will not be a focus of this fic, but there will be mentions of food and hunger.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,258
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Kudos:
    1
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    43
  11. Tags
    Summary

    “I’m trying to be nice to you because you look like a lost man, and it makes me feel like I need to…” Her nose scrunched briefly. “Wrap you in a warm blanket.”

    That took him off guard, the first truly sincere thing she’d said to him, and he heard in her voice that she really meant it.

    And he was lost beyond all definition of the word.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,988
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    48
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    443
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Instead of meeting a young Calico Jack aboard Hornigold's ship, 12-year-old Edward Teach meets a young Stede Bonnet (because fuck Calico Jack, that's why!).

    12-year-old Stede ran away from school and his horrible classmates, only to be seized by Captain Hornigold's crew and held for ransom.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,445
    Chapters:
    15/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    359
    Kudos:
    577
    Bookmarks:
    124
    Hits:
    8055
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Stede flees his suffocating life in Auckland, also leaving his wife Mary and his two kids, to become general manager of a clothing store in a small town, a few hours away.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    31,780
    Chapters:
    14/14
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    70
  14. Tags
    Summary

    The 80s are in full swing, and the golden decade of Nintendo Gameboys’ and Sony Walkmans’ has never looked better. In the neon jungle, Stede Bonnet, a young salaryman, meets enigmatic mechanic apprentice Edward Teach, and the pair strike up an unlikely friendship via fax machine, page beepers and gifts in the mail.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    58,584
    Chapters:
    104/?
    Comments:
    2095
    Kudos:
    2898
    Bookmarks:
    858
    Hits:
    70836
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Stede Bonnet has been told what to do his entire life. Go to the right school. Get the right job. Marry the right girl. So with his father recently deceased, he knows it’s time to reevaluate everything he’s ever known. After a heart-to-heart with his wife Mary, he realizes that they were never even in love in the first place. In fact, he never really wanted any of this. With this knowledge, they divorce, and Stede quits his job to pursue his dream of working with marine animals at the Revenge Aquarium. Despite having no experience, he gets a job as a husbandry assistant and is excited to begin his new life. It’s there that senior aquarist Edward Teach takes an interest in him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    41,945
    Chapters:
    46/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    46
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    802
  16. Tags
    Summary

    In which the idea of fanart gets stretched a bit.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    0
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    43
    Kudos:
    60
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    399
  17. Tags
    Summary

    31-ish days of #ofmdkinktober from my twitter: @ Lonelygingerpie

    A lot of ships, a lot of Izzy, some gender fuckery, all hot and fun. New tags to be added as I go.

    Comments and kudos are my life blood.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    31,137
    Chapters:
    27/31
    Comments:
    51
    Kudos:
    107
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    3283
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Blackbeard heads to Barbados to settle his matters with Stede Bonnet once and for all. He didn´t expect to find his name etched into a gravestone, nor did he expect Hornigold to be out for his blood. Will he reunite with his lover and escape before Hornigold catches him ?
    Only time will tell.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    33,849
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    31
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    1227
  19. Tags
    Summary

    And then, the most beautiful man walked through the door. Blond hair, full and with curls so perfect, Ed wanted to slide his fingers through it and mess it up. Green-hazel eyes, a warm smile, and a well-fitted suit in bright teal. How anyone could pull that off, Ed didn't know, but this man did. He was barrel-chested, with arms Ed thought would feel very good wrapped around him. And he was looking in Ed's direction. Or Mary's, more likely. The blond looked confused, and how the fuck does he look both sexy and confused? "Do I have a boyfriend now?" The man said, and Ed knew he must be Stede. "Only, Nigel seemed certain that I do."

    Or, An adventure on the fake-boyfriends-to-real-boyfriends pipeline.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,634
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    26
    Kudos:
    99
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    813
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Hope Rides Alone is a crossover SMAU between two of my favorite things ever — OFMD and the band / rock opera The Protomen. Will be updated as scenes are posted on twitter. Simultaneously a modern rock band AU and a dystopian sci-fi AU.

    In Act 1, we begin with an introduction to set expectations, then proceed to the prologue wherein Ed, Izzy, Jack, and later Stede begin to form the band that half of this story follows. For the rest, you'll just have to wait and see...

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,167
    Chapters:
    2/29
    Hits:
    18

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