Chapter Text
Satella >>> Satella
12:02 am
Satella: Get bent.
4:58 am
Satella: ???
Satella: what
12:40 pm
Satella: You know who I am.
2:14 pm
Satella: stay off my phone.
Satella: wait, have you been using it while i've been trying to sleep??
Satella: is that why i've been so tired recently????
2:07 am
Satella: It's my phone too, idiot. We're the same person.
3:23 am
Satella: stop.
Satella: fucking.
Satella: using my phone while i'm trying to sleep.
Satella: i dropped rank because of you
3:49 am
Satella: Womp womp, you dropped rank that I grinded for you.
4:47 am
Satella: YOU FUCKING WHAT
Satella: GET YOUR OWN ACCOUNT
Satella: AND LET ME SLEEP
5:22 am
Satella: Nah.
6:00 am
Satella: AAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Satella >>> Otto
Satella: how do i stop my witch factor/evil alter ego from bullying me
Satella >>> Subaru
8:10 am
Satella: morning honey<3
Subaru: What?
Satella: wanna jong?
Subaru: Oh, that's why
Subaru: Okay
9:25 am
Subaru: Gg
Satella: gg
Subaru: So. Question.
Satella: shoot
Subaru: You're envy, right?
Satella: no
Subaru: ...
Subaru: You play differently. And by that I mean you go all in on aiming for first instead of going for meme hands
Subaru: That and you don't have the bratty little sister act down
Subaru: She just says jong when she wants to play mahjong
Satella: ...You got me.
Subaru: How many ranked matches did you play last night? You jumped rank since last i checked
Subaru: Don't tell me you stayed up all night.
Satella: Ah... Um... Oops?
Subaru: Envy...
Satella: Listen. I like jong, you like jong, and I like you, so I thought that getting better at jong would get us closer together.
Satella: It's not like Other Me is helping. I can't really do much else with you other than text and play mahjong...
Satella: This is about as far as I can go. Flirting and mahjong.
Subaru:
Subaru: envy...
Subaru: It's not just your other self who gets hurt when you do that
Subaru: Even if you want to get closer, the people who care about you will still get hurt if they see you not taking care of yourself.
Satella: But still.
Satella: It's not like I can send you nudes or something. You and Other Me would freak out.
Subaru: Ok, moment ruined
Subaru: Go brush your teeth and go to bed
Satella: Okay, daddy~ I love you too~ Chu~<3
Subaru: EW STAHP
Subaru: THAT'S WAY WORSE THAN OTHER YOU CALLING ME NII-SAN
Satella: I know, I can't believe she got the car brand wrong.
Subaru: NOT YOU TOO
Satella >>> Satella
Satella: Hey. You should stop keeping a diary in here.
Otto >>> Satella
10:24 am
Otto: what?
Satella >>> Satella
7:08 pm
Satella: don't you fucking dare scroll up
Satella: ...dammit, you already did, didn't you
Satella: fuck my stupid baka life
Satella >>> Subaru
Satella: gmorning, nii-chan <3
Subaru: STOPSTOPSTOP
Subaru has blocked this number
Satella: lmao worth it
(i) This message was not sent
Satella: i bet he's blushing rn
(i) This message was not sent
Satella >>> Otto
Satella: hey, is subaru blushing?
Otto: yeah, why
Satella: gottem
Satella >>> Subaru
Satella: rekt
(i) This message was not sent
Otto >>> Satella
Otto:
Otto: ...
Otto: Please don't drag me into your one-sided brother-sister roleplay.
Satella: deal
Otto: really?
Satella: with it
Otto: Dammit.
Otto: Hey look, a convenient half-empty bottle of wine. Would be a shame if I were too drunk to read your texts.
Satella: are we /j or /srs
Otto: Lalala I can't hear you, I'm too busy drinking this memory away.
Satella: bro.
Satella >>> Ram
Satella: go get ur boyfriend, he's drinking again
Ram: HE IS NOT MY—
...
Otto >>> Satella
Otto: HEY!
Otto: MY WINE!
Otto >>> Subaru
9:01 pm
Otto: My wine...
Subaru: This is on you bro
Subaru: You self-reported
Otto: It was the good stuff too...
Subaru: ...We have grape juice
Otto: My wine..........
Subaru: It's the good stuff, imported from the west
Otto: Oh, word?
Satella >>> Subaru
Subaru has unblocked this number
...
Satella: is he cheered up yet
Subaru: Yeah
Satella: few
Subaru: That
Subaru: That's not.
Subaru: Satella, that's not how you spell it
Satella: you.
Satella: shut.
Satella: your.
Satella: mouth.