Chapter Text
Venom's nap with Quiet lasted about an hour before he awakened to her lips on his. The final barrier between them had collapsed; had collapsed in Venom's mind a long time ago, waiting for her to stride, victorious, across it.
He held her hips as she crawled up to straddle his face.
Venom placed a kiss above her pubic bone; he glanced above her thigh and Pequod's open mouth below his visor, before the other man turned away hurriedly. Guiltily.
"We can do this later," Venom offered.
"Comrades don't cockblock comrades." Pequod shook his head. Flushed and breathing hard. "I mean, it's about time--"
"You want in?" Venom looked up at Quiet, who nodded. Of course she did; their pilot had pulled her ass out of the fire as many times as he had Venom.
"B-Boss? Are you serious?"
Loyalty like that isn't free.
"This is a one-time offer. Take it or leave it."
Pequod checked the fuel gauge, set the autopilot, slowed to a hover, and told the Mother Base ATC to extend his ETA for a slight weather delay - he was a professional, after all - before scrambling back to the seats.
Venom guided him down between them. "Who do you want? Me or her?"
"Both of you."
And he and she stripped Pequod out of his flight suit, together.
A single Diamond Dog stood at the landing pad. A crisply snapped salute greeted him; Quiet vanished back to her cell. Pequod pulled away to refuel. Venom was glad to be home - there was only one thing on his mind: "Take me to Ka--"
"Boss!" Marmoset looked relieved, glad to see him, but there was a strange hardness in his eyes, too. "Commander Miller asked me to escort you."
Escort me where? Venom wondered.
Off the command platform, as it turned out.
Kaz had shut him out - both literally and figuratively. All of the doors he tried were red, even the ones he could usually open. Barriers had been set up around the command platform. 'Authorized Personnel Only.'
"It might be contaminated with toxic chemicals. We need to clean up. Do forensics. Intel is going to pore over every inch of this place to see what we missed," Kaz told him tersely, when he'd tried the radio. His voice was stronger than when he'd last heard it, but it rasped like hurt.
"But, Kaz, I want to see--"
"I don't have time for this, Snake," Kaz snapped, and closed the channel.
He went to the medical platform, instead. They told him they'd finished operating on Ocelot. That he was stable. That he needed rest; Ocelot was resistant to morphine, to most of the anesthetics they had. They would keep him under as long as they could.
DD growled at the door when it hissed open.
Then sniffed the air. Whined. Pricked his ears back up and leaned forward to nuzzle Ocelot's face from where he'd curled up at his side. Then raised his head, hopefully.
"Sorry, boy." Venom scratched his ears. If DD thought he could do anything to fix this, he was mistaken.
He'd seen plenty of men on the verge of death before. Even friends. The greyish cast of Ocelot's skin was familiar, as were the dark veins under it, and the hushed inhalation of the respirator over his mouth. Pins in one arm, his hands wrapped entirely in bandages. Gauze over knife wounds - eating and drinking would be agony for weeks. Months, maybe.
This had happened near the end. This he could have stopped.
The sublevels of the command platform remained barred to Venom, well after the the rest had been cleaned and cleared. This was his Base; he moved through it on his Commander's sufferance.
No cognitive dissonance here.
But Venom was the one who allowed it. He could stick C4 to those doors, blast them open. Order anyone in the way to stand aside. And Kaz - what could Kaz do? Crippled, exhausted?
Kill six armed men and women, apparently.
...If he did that, what would he find?
Kaz did show up to watch the bodies burn. Their enemies they'd simply given to the sea; only the Diamond Dogs were paid respects. He stood at Venom's side, stoic and undefeated; his coat was absent and he wore a black suit, black like the rings around his eyes, behind his aviators. Five Diamond Dogs had died in the attack; Titan was the sixth.
As he held the folded flags Venom saw the stripes he'd painted down Ishmael's face with his fingers.
He'd reached for Kaz when it was over; Kaz was already walking away. Swiftly, though Venom was faster, and when his hand closed tenderly around Kaz's arm he shook him off with a snarl. Venom winced. Released him. Followed at his heels.
Kaz made it to the fifth stair before his head swayed and his eyes rolled back. Venom caught him easily. Gently.
"I don't need your help," Kaz panted raggedly through gritted teeth.
"I know." Venom cradled him anyway. Picked him up in his arms, and picked his way up to Kaz's quarters.
They usually met in Venom's bare, sparsely decorated room. It contained no personal effects, only clothing and the tools of his trade. A dog dish for DD. Lubricant. Old condoms they no longer used; Kaz was clean. Kaz hadn't taken anyone else to his bed since Venom had awoken in Dhekelia.
Kaz's room, by contrast, was littered with piles of documents. Books. Ledgers. Notes. Photographs. Printed tables with exchange rates and tax codes and the awkward scrawl of his left hand's writing in their margins. They filled every available surface. It looked like pure chaos to the unobservant; Venom knew from experience that Kaz knew exactly what and where everything in this room was.
Venom sat Kaz down on his bed messy bed - one of the few clear spaces - and sat beside him. Kaz stood immediately, and began to pace.
"So what happened? Where were you?" Kaz's voice was tight with poorly concealed anger. A familiar tone. "I know - the sandstorm, the radio signal. You didn't turn back for twenty-four hours after you'd reestablished contact."
"Didn't Jaguar tell you?" Intelligence reported directly to Ocelot; that was presently impossible.
"I want to hear it from you."
So, Venom told him. Everything.
except that one thing only his other self and the demon will ever know that thing
Kaz listened in silence. Nodded, occasionally. Did not move or even incline his head when Venom told him what he and Quiet and Ishmael had done below the fortress. When Venom finished his tale, all he said was: "I see."
Kaz turned around, back to him.
Swiped every stack of paper off his desk with his cane. Then he howled with rage; knocked them off his dresser, his nightstand. Shoved these over, too. Smashed a clock and a bottle of sake to pieces. Threw a stapler at the wall so hard it broke open, screws and spring spinning across the floor. Went through his possessions, a methodical whirlwind, destroying them all.
Venom had made himself as small as possible to ride out the storm. Was curled into a ball on the bed by the time Kaz was through. Certain that Kaz was going to turn on him next, smash him to pieces, too, and he wouldn't lift a finger to defend himself - he deserved it.
"You get one," Kaz snarled, panting again, saliva at the corner of his mouth. "You came back to me, and you told me the truth. So you get one. But if you ever abandon us again, don't bother to come back because I will kill you."
Us?
Venom didn't flinch. No, he kissed him. Grabbed his hand so he couldn't pull away. Kaz fought back. Struggled. Kicked. Spat and swore and tried to bite him, punch him.
But this time, Venom didn't handle him like he was made of glass. And there was nothing a one-armed, one-legged man so weak with exhaustion that he couldn't walk up the stairs could really do to him. So , Venom kissed him. Pinned him and kissed him hard. Bore the teeth and forced his tongue into Kaz's mouth anyway.
Kaz finally stilled. Kissed him back. His eyes were half-lidded and dazed; he looked satisfied. "Save that for later, Snake. I'll pass out on you, now."
Venom took his meaning. Of course he felt guilt; but who was he, to decide how Kaz should deal with his pain? If he truly loved this man, shouldn't he be willing to do anything for him? Even things he didn't want to do? "Kaz."
"Just... stay with me while I sleep. Stay awake. All right? Don't leave."
"I won't."
Kaz kicked his shoes off and set his aviators in Venom's palm but remained otherwise dressed. Laid down with his head in Venom's lap. Venom stroked his hair back, and Kaz was asleep in seconds.
They stayed like that for eighteen hours.
"Nngh, shit," Kaz blinked awake with a groan, at last. Rubbed his eyes; smacked his mouth. Reached for a cup of cold coffee that had long since dried on the walls and floor. Rolled over to stare blearily into Venom's face. "Morning."
"Morning." Venom smiled. Kissed his mouth.
"Mmph. Hey..." Kaz quirked an eyebrow. "Have you not... moved?"
Venom shook his head.
"You didn't have to take a piss?" Incredulous.
Venom shook his canteen.
"Oh Snake," Kaz laughed. "You could've left for a couple of seconds." He reached for Venom; traced the line of his jaw with his thumb affectionately. "Well, if you're taking orders. Go get me some breakfast. And coffee. It's going to be a long day, Bo--"
"'V'." Venom stroked his palm. "Isn't that what you used to call me? What's that stand for - Vic Boss?"
"I - yeah, I guess so." Kaz's hand shook. "Go get me some breakfast, V."
When Venom left him, Kaz looked like he was going vomit.
No, there were things Venom could never un-know. Like the fact that the inside of Kaz's mouth had been full of fresh wounds when he'd pushed his tongue into it. That his story - that they'd simply locked them up in a room without food and water and sleep-deprived them, and that he and Ocelot had wrested a gun away from a captor who'd stabbed Ocelot before Kaz could load and fire it - was a lie. The medical division was sticking to it, even though they had to know better, too.
They were support personnel, and they answered to Kaz. The intelligence division, who'd debriefed them and to whom Kaz would not lie if he wanted them to investigate the matter well, answered to Ocelot. They ruled the roost. The combat and command personnel who might answer to Venom didn't know any details.
No, there were things Venom could never un-know. Like who the first responder would have been, and the fact that he did not answer to Kaz.
Venom brought a bottle the choicest contraband - a bottle of whiskey - with him when he paid Osprey a personal call. The assault team's medic was young and normally ruggedly handsome in a way that Venom forced himself to ignore; right now he was haggard. He looked haunted. They found a private place behind a cluster of shipping containers, and Venom got him drunk.
"I've seen some shit in my day, Boss," Osprey slurred, belied by the gravity and disgust in the expression he wore. "I was a paramedic before I enlisted. I have seen some shit. Kids crushed by semis, wives whose husbands took a baseball bat with a nail in it to their faces.
"But there's a difference between violent trauma and slow, intentional damage, you know? Fuck I could smell them from the next floor down. Blood, sweat, piss, festering wounds. Open intestines. The Commander was covered in dried vomit. And Ocelot, Jesus, Ocelot... he was so dehydrated his gums were black. Hadn't swallowed in hours, probably. My guess, anyway, because I could still taste the semen in his mouth."
Venom lowered his gaze to the floor. "I don't know what the fuck the docs are telling you, but he had no defensive injuries. At least not that he received around the same time someone cut him open. He wasn't fighting shit. Miller did, though - whatever you want to make of that."
Venom couldn't resolve the image Kaz protecting Ocelot. That wasn't something that would ever happen, in his reality. Then again, neither was the reverse, and Ishmael'd swore to him it was true. That he would. "Did Kaz..." He couldn't bring himself to say it.
"Oh, yeah. So many times his pants were soaked right through."
Venom scrubbed a hand across his face. "...Thank you."
Osprey took another pull. "Any time, Boss. I'm not a fan of lies. But you should know... shit, look, Miller I understand. I guess. I don't have one, but some of the other guys have wives, and they'd do anything to protect them. If it was between what happened to him and giving you up... yeah, all right. You love him, right?"
Venom nodded yes.
"But Ocelot. We all know, Boss. We know. I know you know, too. How could you not? If you thought it was... I don't know, a crush, attraction - well, it isn't. Fuck me, I'd give you up before I let somebody dig my guts out. And you're probably the man I admire most in the whole damn world, right? If it's not going to happen between you, just tell him. Break his heart. It's killing morale in the intel division right now. And something more than two people know is no longer a secret - it'll start killing morale over here, too."
But what do I tell him? I don't know what I feel about him.
That question lay heavy on his mind when he went back to visit his old friend. They'd told him he was awake; he'd heard no voice, so he'd assumed Ocelot to be alone. Was startled, then, to find Quiet at his bedside. He was propped up with pillows into a half-sit. They had the Lee-Enfield between them, and Quiet signed a few words to him.
Ocelot signed back.
"When did you learn to do that?" Venom inquired; Ocelot hadn't mentioned that when Venom had first taken her back to Mother Base. Hadn't communicated with her that way during their interrogations.
"Oh, ages ago." His tone was as relaxed and smooth as ever; only the beads of sweat on his forehead and his constricted pupils gave him away. "Took some time to teach it to her, though."
Venom felt very stupid for not thinking of that; for not learning it himself. "I'll have to get on that," he promised. "Hey, that's Ishmael's..."
"...Gift to Quiet," Ocelot filled him in. "Isn't it something?"
"It's a beat up bolt-action relic."
Quiet frowned. Ocelot looked scandalized. "This is an 1897 Mk I with an original, double-column, full-sized magazine. One of the first of its kind. This is a piece of history." They both regarded him like he was some kind of philistine, and his dirty paws didn't belong on their art piece.
"Sorry, sorry." Venom raised his hand. "My mistake. ...Not sure you want it in your loadout, though, Quiet."
"Why not? Bet she could do a mad minute in thirty seconds."
Quiet raised her fingers. Ten. She could do it in ten.
"It's a date," Ocelot promised.
Venom steeled himself. "Hey, Quiet. Do you mind? Ocelot and I need to talk."
She cocked her head curiously, but left them without question, taking the rifle with her.
"What's on your mind, Boss?" Calm. Welcoming. Easy.
Venom sat heavily on the bed beside him. He had no idea what to say. You shouldn't have done that for me. We're friends, not lovers. But when had sex ever overruled intimacy? I've known you longer than any man, but I feel like I hardly know you. He could lie: I'm not attracted to you. He could tell the truth: I am attracted to you, but I'm afraid. Of Kaz. Of Ocelot. Instead he said, lamely: "I made a head shot at 1600 yards."
"Oh yeah?" Ocelot perked up. "What was the wind speed?"
"I don't know. I'd have to ask my spotter." Venom felt stupid. So stupid. Lost. This was a terrible idea. Best to leave things the way they were, like a coward.
Loyalty like that isn't free.
No, it comes at a price. And unrewarded would fester into resentment. Eventually, into something even worse than hate.
He couldn't imagine Ocelot ever hating anybody.
Ocelot sighed amicably. Affectionately. "Boss. Here. Take my hand." He reached out with bandaged fingers, which Venom caught. "Look into my eyes." Venom turned to obey, staring into his
Pale, pitiless eyes
He tried to run, but it was too late.
The salt-laden night air on Mother Base was refreshing; Venom smiled as he breathed it in. He'd had a long, heartfelt conversation with Ocelot, who'd confessed that while he did indeed have deep feelings for him, they were nothing more than brotherly. Ocelot would be fine as soon as he healed. Kaz, too. They'd been starved and dehydrated and wounded in their escape, so they were shaken, but otherwise unharmed. He was proud to know men that resourceful and determined; prouder still that they loved him.
He was glad to know, too, that another MSF man - Ishmael - had survived the helicopter crash. Was working with his own forces, against Cipher. They'd been close before the fall of Mother Base; Venom'd promised him that the next time they met, he would remember his name.
Still heady from the adrenaline rush of their assault on the fortress he and Quiet had made love, finally, in the helicopter on the way home. That had been coming for a while. He'd confessed it to Kaz, who'd been angry and thrown things, but he'd eventually forgiven him. All would eventually be well. Quiet was loyal, Kaz was steadfast.
And Ocelot was his oldest, most reliable friend.
"I think I patched up most of the holes and I'll keep bailing on this end, but pretty soon that ship is going to break apart. Especially if you keep driving it into the rocks."
"It wasn't meant to last forever. We'll tell him soon enough."
"Sooner than I'd planned, now."
"You should be worried, not resentful. He's not going to be thrilled when all of this comes back to him."
"Oh, I'm not afraid of Venom - he's a puppy dog."
"Puppies grow up eventually."
"Sure. Whatever you say. Can we cool it with the animal metaphors? I blew my load on those for Miller."
"You? Tired of metaphors?"
"I'm tired in general."
"I need to make sure you're aware that his memories aren't all gone. Some of them have definitely come back to him."
"I know."
"You know?"
"I left some on purpose. There were some that, when I took them away, turned him into a lifeless sack of skin nobody would ever mistake for you. With them, he was driven, determined. Unflinching. He'd never have your charisma no matter what I did, so I let him have his own strength."
"You didn't think that would cause problems down the line?"
"They were close enough to what you experienced for me to make them fit, with a few adjustments. He was less like you when I removed them; more like you when I left them in."
"I'm sure you could have--"
"I was the only man on the ground. I made a judgment call. And now I'm being second-guessed by my rear echelon. You of all people should know how useful and helpful that is."
"I'm nobody's rear echelon."
"Well, maybe you should be. You're almost 50 - getting a little long in the tooth to be a grunt."
"Hm. Pretty sure my CQC'd still beat yours, kid."
"That's not saying much, at present."
"...Look, I--"
"And making this a personal call was stupid. You could have relayed this information to me by proxy. This was an unnecessary risk. Miller'll be watching me. Don't do it again."
"...Thank you, Adam."
"Any time, John."